by Tara Lynn
Christ. I had done a lot to atone for, and yet, heat surged into my face beyond the blazing sun on high. I had been a hero on this field. With two lines she had flayed me, cut me down to nothing.
“It was-” She started another slice, but the principal rose and came over. Liza jerked the mic out of the stand and paced off toward a corner.
“It didn’t even start till our parents married.” Her voice was stiff and clear. Every gaze sat rapt on her now. “It didn’t start until we were living together. That’s when we couldn’t ignore each other.”
That wasn’t even the truth, but my voice didn’t have the power to fight hers. And I didn’t want to, even with our shame flooding me, I still wanted her. She was still the prize, always the prize. No lunacy could strike that from my heart.
“That’s enough,” the principal’s voice came through as he closed in.
She reached around and tried to grab the mic, but Liza clutched it and swung away, like a receiver protecting a completed catch. She edged over more, but there was no space left and no slack left in the line.
It was over. This was going to be over.
The principal’s arms reached around and Liza shoved the mic against her mouth.
“My stepbrother and I love each other,” she said raspy and sensual as if her lust was leaking through. “No matter what you say, we are not going to stop.”
She shoved the mic into the principal’s hands, brushed past and stalked off stage and off the field.
The silence lasted until she left and then chatter erupted throughout the audience. The principal returned to the podium and cleared her throat, but she didn’t really have any follow up. She looked around and found me.
“Tull, what the fuck?” The guy at my right was looking at me like I were a messed up play. “Is that shit true?”
A dozen other nearby faces were on me.
“It’s not your fucking business,” I said.
“Na, it’s your fucking business. That’s exactly what it is.”
My fist was set to slam the guy’s sneering face, before it hit that it was the guy behind him speaking.
“I never realized she was such a pervert,” a voice said.
“And him,” another voice, said directed at me. “Getting some from outside ain’t enough. He likes keeping it in the family.”
Not every face around wore a judging look, but more than enough did. And for what? Liza and I shared no blood, no ties till this year. A ceremony and a piece of paper changed all that?
Who cared how much people like this thought of me. This was a town of lemmings, unable to think. No wonder the MC’s fist curled so tight around it.
The MC’s fist.
And then it hit just what Liza had done. Word of this would get out. Liza had stripped me bare, reduced my championship shell to nothing. The MC had no use for me.
The sweat on my skin went to ice. She’d set me free.
But how heavy was the price?
I glanced back and up, towards the row the MC had seeped into. Clash and Jethro were gone. The rough line remaining gave me dead eyed looks. I had no brothers left.
The rest of the crowd had shocked looks of their own, but none of this shit mattered. I had to find Liza, before Jethro and Clash did.
“Get the fuck out of my way.” I shot up and started shoving through the aisle. People didn’t help, but I stomped on a couple toes. A guy yelped and my path cleared.
“Alright, let’s settle,” the principal’s voice boomed over head, but I was just getting started. I unzipped the gown, and then tore it in half when there was nowhere left for it to go. I shed it and sprinted, one last play on this turf, towards the entrance where Liza had left.
People yelled shit at me, in voices that demanded attention. But I’d learned to ignore all that. Only the endzone mattered.
I burst through the double doors leading under the stands then out on the other side of the hall into the parking lot. The day glowed ahead, metal and glass of the cars casting a thousand suns into my eyes. I squinted out, but there wasn’t a person among them.
Where had she gone?
“Rett.”
I spun toward the soft word. Liza sat on a bench, in just her jeans and a tank top. The gown lay in a heap at her feet. Her face was damp and her hair clung to her neck. Her eyes trembled on mine then dipped away.
All that mattered was that she was safe. My heartbeat dulled.
I sat at her side, but even knowing what she had done, I didn’t know what to say. I hunched in, but even that had her turning away.
“That was rough,” I said finally.
She ducked her eyes a moment. “I’m sorry,” she said finally.
It’s fine. The words were at my lips, but something held them in. I wasn’t angry, but I didn’t yet feel on solid ground.
“You should have told me,” I said.
“You would never have let it happen.”
“I would have damn well tried,” I said. “But I don’t think I have that sort of power.”
She looked up at me, a shy smile on her face. “We really don’t listen to each other do we? You destroyed your life for me. I went right up there and destroyed mine for you.”
Her words knocked the breath out of me. Shit, I’d been so focused on what the stadium meant to me, I forgot what this ceremony meant to her. She had gone up to the mic the valedictorian, and she’d walked off the stage in utter disgrace. I’d trained hard to win my name, but she had worked on her GPA day in, day out four years straight.
She’d cast it all aside in an instant.
I pulled her against my shoulder gently, her soft blond hair “Why?”
“I was tired of living up to what the world expected of us instead of being who we were.”
“Don’t set us as equals. You are so much more than me.”
“If you’re not at my side, I’m nothing.” Her face tilted toward me, soft and beautiful. “I love you.”
And just like that the worry, the loss, the numbness, it all hissed away. A warmth glowed through me, gentler and more enduring than any the sun could offer, even if we weren’t in the shade.
Strip me of my pride, but leave this girl at my side – that was a fair trade.
I kissed her on the lips once. There wasn’t a need to linger, we’d have plenty of time.
“I love you too, baby.”
She sighed and lay her doe eyes on me. Suddenly they bloomed. Liza’s grip stiffened.
I snapped to the side. Clash and Jethro stood glaring at us through the swinging doors.
I rose slowly, adjusting Liza behind me. The bikers stood silent, arms at rest, but I had seen how quickly those hands could reach the guns stuffed into their holsters. There was no damn reason for this to come to that, but reason had little to do with it. Tonight they were supposed to add a star to their roster and Liza had sent mine crashing to earth.
“What do you want?” I said.
“We came looking for the freak show,” Clash said, trying to peer over me. “Guess you all ain’t hiding any more.”
“There’s nothing to hide.”
“Oh yeah? This all your idea, then?”
Liza tried to move around, but I held her back.
“Yeah it was,” I said. “I was tired of the rumors. I’m not ashamed about what we’re doing. Why hide it?”
“Rumors?” Clash eyed Jethro. “You heard anything about this shit?”
“Not a damn soul knew, past us. Not till it came out of that whore’s mouth.”
My fists clenched, and I was a step into them. “Watch it.”
“Watch what, Snapshot? I’m looking at the town perverts as I speak.”
“That’s not much to add to my rap sheet. Next to murderer? I’ll take this any day.”
Jethro spat into the sidewalk. “You think you’re better than all this? You think this town would be around with us? This is the wild goddamn west. If we didn’t stand strong some other MC would push in. Fuck, maybe even one of the
cartels. A few bodies to keep us free ain’t but a fair price.”
I’d heard all it and a dozen other justifications before. I’d forced myself to swallow enough. No more. “You believe what you believe. I don’t want a part of it anymore. There’s only person whose opinion I care about and I know her thoughts.”
Jethro’s eyes tightened. My hand fell back to Liza’s waist, and her slender fingers laced it. But I didn’t want her grip. I wanted her out and running if I had to buy her time.
“Fucking dumbass,” Jethro said. “You could have shot through the ranks of this MC,” Jethro said. “You could have made us statewide. Now all people will hear about is this shit. They might even think you two are blood.”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
Jethro’s eyes tightened to volcanic slits. “You think you’re walking away clean, don’t you?”
Clash glanced around casually, then honed back in. “You have information about our operations, Snapshot. You made sure to dig that up, didn’t you now. Well, you’re no brother now. How do you think we make sure that all stays buried?”
The moment turned to ice. His hand was at his holster. My next words counted for everything.
“Do you think I care about any of that?” I shrugged. “We won’t be able to show our faces in West Texas anymore. You know how these small towns work. The stars are above the law. The dirt just gets stomped on. No cops gonna hear me out. I’ve got nothing to gain from it anyway.”
Jethro glowered a while longer. The desert etched with crickets. Finally, he spat at my feet. “Whatever, enjoy rolling in the dirt.”
He clapped Clash’s shoulder and turned. “Fuck him, let’s go.”
Clash stared at me with a blank gaze. Cold crept down my spine. I began pressing Liza away, but she clutched on tighter.
The stadium door opened behind him. A couple kids came out giggling, and their parents followed.
Clash’s shoulders unclenched. He turned and joined Jethro. The two walked away without a glance back.
I sighed and dropped next to Liza. The family was gawking at us, but looks were no bullets.
“Is it over?” Liza said.
I dipped onto her shoulder, watching the two bikers recede up the stadium. “Yeah.”
She stroked my hair, a cool ease sweeping through me. “You’re free,” she said, softly. “You’re really free.”
“I’m not free.” I said. “From now on, I’m yours.”
She beamed, her teeth showing gloriously. “And, I’m yours Rett.”
****
The phone began to ring. I crushed it against my ear as if my tension would come through on the other side, as if my eagerness would forgive the apathy I’d been forced to show.
Liza paced beside the bed in the hotel room. The noon sun glowed against drawn shades. Even with the truth about us out now, we preferred the dark. Our parents may have forbid us from being who we were openly, but that didn’t mean the world had the right to see our love.
We just had a couple months to stay in this motel. Then, Liza’s dorm would open up and she could move there.
As for me…
The phone crackled. It was time to find out.
“Lorne Mason.”
“Coach Mason,” I said. “This is Everett Tull of Loving, Texas. You were trying to recruit me for the Aggies a month ago.”
Liza plopped down on the stiff bed, the paper dry sheets and gripped my knee.
“Tull, yes,” Mason finally said. “I remember you. What’s going on?”
I gathered my breath. “Sir, I’m really sorry I couldn’t talk to you before. I was going through some personal matters. I know that’s no excuse for blowing off a once in a lifetime offer like what you extended me. I wanted to know if there’s any chance we can still discuss that offer.”
The silence that followed held a lifetime in it. I would manage without this. I would find another path. That was all football was – a path. There were others.
But goddamn, none of them I was born to run down like this one.
“I’m sorry, son,” Mason said, heavily. “But we got timelines, too. That offer ended ages ago.”
“I understand,” I said. “Well, it’s my fault.”
I would have hung up, but Liza’s hands cupped mine. Her eyes were filled with such warmth, that I had to turn away.
“You still interested in playing if it ain’t QB?” Mason suddenly asked.
I straightened. “Yes, sir. Most definitely.”
“Hmph.” Mason cleared his throat another eternal moment. “Let’s talk about that.”
My skin stood on edge. A smile spilled out onto my lips, and Liza’s gorgeous face caught it and magnified it to glory. She huddled into me. The curtains glowed like eyes in our dark motel room. A dawn was coming. I could feel it.
“Sir,” I said. “Talking is more than a guy like me could ask for.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Epilogue
Football was big in west Texas. The high school stadium I played in - it wasn’t nothing.
Against the roar pouring down on me here in Texas Memorial though, it might as well have been a moped next to a chopper.
A hundred points of light shone on the field, blinding me if I tried to lift my gaze from the bench. Every row I could make out through a squint was pebbled with faces: man and woman, infant to ancient, black, white, Latino, Asian. Plenty of them were smeared in the orange and white colors I bore on my uniform.
They didn’t look as intimidating as they though, but hell I’d take take that support any day over what I’d got for wearing my leather.
The stadium roared in my ears like a highway wind. I shut my eyes and could almost feel their voices wash over me. I hadn’t ridden since I walked away from my bike that graduation day half a year ago. Tonight would be a fine night to set out on a ride, just head out of the city and track the stars above – with the right set of arms lacing around your waist.
That was the one part of my old life I’d restore once I had money. There was nothing to compare to the freedom the open road could offer. With my own bike, it would be a true freedom. One I wouldn’t be exchanging for the promise of blood.
A meaty arm slammed around me. So much for being free tonight.
“You fucking killed it Tull!” a deep voice screamed in my ear.
I turned and found myself facing a wall of muscle, holding up a fierce dark face.
“Right back at you, man,” I said, socking Renton on the shoulder. “Couldn’t make the play if you hadn’t held the line.”
“Fuck your fake modesty, kid. This ain’t the night for that. You just won us the goddamn division championship.”
A couple other of our defensive linemen came up along and clapped me heavy on the back. My lungs lost air. Fuck, winning was gonna end up killing me.
“I wasn’t even in it for the last quarter,” I said. “Truman sealed the deal.”
I looked past my entourage at the field where the bulk of our team still stood clumped in to our starting quarterback. I liked Truman. He was a solid guy on the field and off it, too. He hadn’t been threatened when I got in – just took me out and taught me how to step up my game with the talent I already had.
But he was a senior. The team would need a fresh starter next year.
“Nothing to seal you hadn’t already done, bro,” another lineman said behind me. “We had it locked up by the 3rd quarter after your interception.”
“You should be on the other side, thanking their shitty receiver,” I said.
I glanced over at the dour scene at the other end of the stadium. I hadn’t much been on that side of a game, but my thoughts went to where the Rattlers must be now, off in Loving. I thought of Marlo and what plays he was receiving. He’d buried me the second I walked away, but I didn’t blame him.
Sometimes the roads we traveled were set long before we even had a chance to check the map. I could only be grateful that a detour opened up for me.
“Mr
. Tull?”
I perked at the female voice, but only until I realized it wasn’t her. A busty, redheaded woman in jeans came over holding a mic to my face, towing a cameraman over her shoulder. My teammates stood back a pace, but maybe more to admire her properly.
“What’s up?” I said.
“How are you feeling about the victory?”
“Just damn wonderful. What else would I feel?”
