She shakes her head adamantly but stares down at her shoes as she does.
“Just say whatever it is. Let’s not let secrets get between us. Look how well that worked out for me last time.” I keep my voice light, hoping she catches on to my sarcasm. I was hoping for a laugh or even a smile, but when her eyes finally meet mine, all I see is sorrow.
“I think you need to talk to Allison.”
“About?”
“Look, I know how annoying and damaging the rumors can be. My first day at Dixon, I heard about the divorce. I hadn’t even met Ryder, and people were talking about him. I didn’t know what to think. Then rumors started to circulate about how I was sleeping with him, and that hurt. More than I care to share. I didn’t want people looking at me like that, thinking I was capable of using someone to move up. It wasn’t until the rumors about Justine went around that I saw how damaging they really could be.
“Whoever is behind the gossip needs to be silenced. One day, they’re going to ruin someone’s life. People can’t even defend themselves because no one knows who the source is. It’s unfair, and it needs to end.”
“What are they saying about me?”
It’s not a question of who they’re talking about. I know she’s heard something. She wouldn’t be having this conversation with me otherwise. In fact, I should have expected it since I made an appearance at the office today. All it takes is one misinterpretation of a situation to blow things out of proportion.
My innocent meeting with Ryder has probably turned into a full-blown scandal.
First, they were saying I was using Vinnie to get Ryder back. I can only imagine what they’re saying now.
I’m sure there’s speculation we had sex in his office. Me showing up to just talk is too boring to spread as a rumor.
Or maybe we’re getting back together. That would be hilarious. Especially since I left the office with Vinnie this afternoon.
Well, not on his arm or anything. He had to talk to Ryder first, but it was clear I didn’t leave with Ryder. And he did kiss me in front of Ryder, so it’s not like it’s a big secret that Vinnie and I are seeing each other. Hell, people were talking about us being together before we even put a title on our relationship. Before he even worked there.
I guess juicy gossip travels fast.
“Like I said, you need to talk to Allison. She needs to stop spreading shit around the office. It’s going to bite her in the ass eventually, and she’s going to get fired. She’s already gotten to Tyler and Ryder. If she even tries to spread shit about Hunter, I have no doubt in my mind that he’ll fire her on the spot.”
“She swears she’s not behind it.”
“If it’s not her, then who is it? Who’s her source?”
“She refuses to tell me.”
“Well, when you hear what’s going around now, you’re going to want to know the source.”
“Just tell me what it is, please,” I plead with her. My mind is racing a mile a minute. There are so many possibilities I can’t focus on a single thought.
“Promise you’ll talk to her?” Emerson waits for me to nod in agreement before rocking my world.
As I stare at Vinnie through the window, my heart comes to a crushing halt.
Vinnie said he was using you for sex.
Chapter Twenty
How can this be true? He said he loved me. He’s building a life here and including me in it.
This isn’t just about sex. Our relationship is more than that. Sure, we have a lot of sex. Mind-blowing, life-altering sex. We’re more than that to each other, right?
He wouldn’t have confessed his love for me otherwise. That’s cruel. To pull someone in, to hold them close, only to find out later on that it was all a joke. All a ploy to get them into bed.
Maybe in the beginning; I could see that.
Maybe that’s how it all started. All he wanted was sex; I could see that.
But now?
It’s not possible. No one is that good of an actor. To play someone like a puppet for this long without screwing up. Without saying or doing something to get caught.
Unless this is what he does. Unless he’s a professional player.
“When?” I finally ask Emerson.
My brain is having a hard time keeping up with me. There are a million scenarios, but none of them make sense to me. I need facts. Facts will help me see the light. They’ll break through the fog and show me the truth.
“Today, according to Allison. She was telling us at lunch.”
At lunch? Ally was at lunch when I met with Ryder. I haven’t seen or heard from her all day. Why hasn’t she called? Why wasn’t she the one to tell me about this?
“I need more details. Who heard him? Who was he talking to?”
“Talk to Allison. I only told you because I didn’t want to feed the rumor. I thought about going straight to the source of the problem, but I don’t know Vinnie that well. Maybe you should just ask him,” she suggests, grabbing her purse off the table and turning toward the door. “Call her, Megan. Before you jump to conclusions. Straighten it out because, from what I see, he’s not that kind of person. He seems to really like you, and I know you like him. I would hate for something stupid like a rumor to break you up.”
Emerson leaves me with my thoughts, joining everyone else out on the sidewalk. I watch them interact for a few minutes before I gather my things and join them.
Until I have answers, I’m going to ignore the rumor. I will get the answers I deserve, though. One way or another. Either Ally will reveal her source or I’m going to have to confront Vinnie myself.
As soon as we got back to Vinnie’s house, I got in my car and left, saying I wasn’t feeling well. There was a momentary look of confusion on his face before he covered it with a smile and a kiss. He knew I was lying, but I don’t care. I have bigger things to worry about than whether or not he thinks I’m actually sick.
Because a part of me really is.
Sick to my stomach.
Sick at the thought that he’s using me.
After all we’ve talked about, all I’ve shared with him. I’ve been honest with him from the beginning, and I thought he was being honest with me. If I find out he’s been lying to me this entire time…
I can’t even finish the thought.
I don’t want to think about how hurt and betrayed I’ll feel. Or the fact I fell for his stupid act. That my heart belongs to him, and he holds the power to crush it in his hands.
I knew it was too soon. Not just to admit my feelings for him but to have those kinds of feelings. I should have run before he said it. I could have escaped the pain and heartache if I had listened to my head instead of my heart.
But, no. That’s not who I am.
I don’t listen to the voice of reason. I let my emotions guide me. You would think I had learned by now. The path led by the heart can be a dangerous one. You’re often blinded by your feelings, and obstacles appear out of nowhere, causing a catastrophe without warning.
This would be one of those times.
By the time I get home, it’s too late to invite Ally over. I can’t do this over the phone or through text messages. I want to do it face to face. I want to see her reaction when I ask her about the rumor. I need to know she’s not the one spreading the lies and hate through the office.
In true Ally fashion, she’s one step ahead of me.
My phone rings as I step inside. When I see that it’s her calling, I contemplate sending her to voicemail. Not because I don’t want answers. More than anything, I have questions that only she can answer.
I’m just so angry.
Angry at what was said.
Angry that she didn’t call me the second she heard the rumors. Instead, she shared it. She spread the rumor.
No matter if she is the source or not, she contributed to the rumor. She didn’t defend me or the accusations made against Vinnie. She rolled with it, told others what she heard, and gossiped.
That’s
her MO. I’d defend Ally to the ends of the earth. She really is a good person, but she needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut. When it comes to drama, she’s the center of it all. It’s the attention. I get it. I understand why she feels the need to tell stories and talk about other people.
One, it keeps the focus off her life. Her lack of a boyfriend. The fact she dates a lot but none of the relationships stick.
Two, she feels needed. People seek her out for information because she always has it. She knows what’s going on, who’s involved with who, and if she doesn’t, she knows where to get the answers.
It makes her popular.
People listen to her.
The rumors make her feel important.
The rest of us have someone in our life who makes us feel important. Who breathes life into our days. Someone to vent to about stupid shit.
Ally doesn’t have that. One day, I pray she will. She needs someone in her life who can handle her level of drama. That can bring her down a notch and help her see what’s really important in life.
It’s going to take a strong man, but he’s out there somewhere.
“Hey,” I say as I drop my purse on the kitchen counter.
“You home?” she asks, her voice hurried.
“Just walked in. Why?”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’m bringing ice cream. Peanut butter cup, your fave.”
Ally’s bringing me ice cream. She doesn’t drive out this far for nothing, and rarely does she show up unannounced. Especially after dark when heading to the beach isn’t an option. The fact it’s a weeknight and she has to work in the morning only makes me more suspicious. It has to be about the rumor. If not, something really bad is going on, and I’m not sure I can take much more in one day.
Bursting through the door ten minutes later with a pint of ice cream in each hand and a smile on her face, Ally makes herself at home in the kitchen, scooping us each a bowl of ice cream before taking a seat next to me at the counter.
“So,” I start, licking my spoon. “Are you going to tell me why you came all this way, or do you want me to guess? I have a pretty good guess, but I’d rather hear it from you.”
“Can’t I hang out with my best friend without it being suspicious?”
“Not when you bring ice cream,” I state, setting my spoon in the bowl and turning to face her. “Be honest with me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Fine. There is a reason I came over, but it’s not as bad as you think.”
Not as bad as I think? I’m pretty sure it is if what Emerson told me is why she’s here.
“So, there isn’t a rumor floating around the office that Vinnie is using me for sex, then?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at her in challenge.
“Who told you?” Ally doesn’t bother to hide the shock in her voice.
Why would she? The only people from the office I talk to on a regular basis are her and Ryder. Ryder hates the rumors, doesn’t put any stock in them and refuses to acknowledge them. He wouldn’t bother himself with telling me if he had heard something.
“Emerson.”
“When did you see her?”
“We had dinner together.”
“You and Emerson had dinner together?”
“With Ryder, Vinnie, and Amara. It was a last-minute thing. It doesn’t matter. Why didn’t you call me earlier and tell me what you heard?”
Ally bites her bottom lip and looks away.
“Ally, seriously. What the hell?”
“Because I’m the one that heard it.”
“You heard Vinnie say he was only using me for sex?”
“Yeah. I left my phone at my desk when I went to lunch, and when I came back for it, I overheard him talking to Tyler. I know I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it’s not like they were talking quietly. Tyler’s door was open, and they were standing just inside.”
Ally is clearly ashamed of her behavior. I’m not sure why. It’s not like she’s never tried to eavesdrop before. In fact, I’m pretty sure she did one time when I was on the phone with her. She was trying to hear what was going on in Herman’s office when everyone went in for a meeting except for her. She doesn’t like to feel left out, so that was her rebelling against the system.
Not that she heard anything.
“What else did they say?”
“I don’t know. I grabbed my phone and ran back to the break room. I didn’t want them to see me.”
I force Ally to tell me, in detail, every word of what she heard. Twice. Not because I’m enjoying what she’s saying but because I can’t wrap my head around it.
Why would Vinnie say one thing to Tyler and act a different way with me?
There’s only one person that can answer that, and I don’t plan on asking him. After hearing what Ally has to say, I don’t plan on talking to him anytime soon. I can’t handle it. The heartache. The broken trust.
I went into that first night knowing he may only be after sex. I was fine with it. For that night. For the first week.
Now? He’s met my daughter. We’ve taken our relationship public. He told me he loved me.
He’s made a complete fool of me.
The hope that was shining so brightly earlier today has faded to darkness.
My future, our future, is a distant memory.
“I’m sorry, Megan. I really am. I thought you deserved to know, and I wanted to tell you in person.”
Thanking Ally for being such a great friend, she stays until we finish our ice cream in silence and leaves me with my thoughts. I saw her watching me, though. Out of the corner of her eye. Waiting for the tears to come.
Sorry to disappoint, but that’s not going to happen.
Sure, I’m sad. I’m upset that this is how things are going to turn out.
More than anything, I’m angry. Pissed off. Ready to explode.
I’ve passed the point of tears and moved on to wanting to punch things. Mainly Vinnie’s handsome face.
As I crawl into bed, I hear my phone chime. I know it’s him, texting me good night. Probably asking how I’m feeling. I even contemplate reaching over, grabbing my phone, and replying.
Restraint is my best friend right now.
If I text him back, it’s going to be ugly. I’m going to be a bitch. I’ll probably rip into him so hard he’ll drive out here and demand answers.
So, I let the little green light on my phone blink in the darkness that surrounds me. I stare at my phone and wait for another text to come through, but nothing does. I fall asleep with anger coursing through my veins, and my nightmares are there waiting for me.
I’m sitting in Ryder’s living room again. The fireplace is ablaze. He’s talking to me. I hear Jared’s name, and then he’s there, on his knees, begging for my forgiveness. His fiancée, Jen, is behind him, angrily staring at the back of his head.
Ryder’s sitting on the opposite couch, laughing and pointing at Jared. Vinnie and Tyler are next to him, doing the same, only their fingers are pointed in my direction.
Looking to my left, the girls are doing the same.
Everyone is laughing. All fingers are pointed at me. Even Jared and Jen are laughing and pointing at me now.
Why?
Why me?
I don’t understand. I don’t deserve this.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
That’s when the realization hits. I’ve been fooled before. I fell for Vinnie’s line of bullshit. People should be laughing at me. I’m an idiot. I wanted to believe him, in everything he said and did, and allowed myself to be tricked by the same kind of person as Jared.
A liar.
A cheat.
Squeezing my eyes closed and covering my ears, I’m yelling for them to stop, but their laughter only grows louder. Then, in an instant, everything goes silent. When I open my eyes, I’m at Vinnie’s house. In his bathroom. Watching as we slowly walk toward each other.
I can hear us taunting each other. Daring the othe
r person to say it first. This afternoon replays itself before my eyes.
The moment he’s about to say he loves me, I suck in a deep breath and hold it. Only this time, he doesn’t say it. Instead, he confesses to using me, and in that moment, I break down in tears.
Blinking awake, those tears are real. The heartache is real.
It took me almost a year to find myself, to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. In the span of one afternoon, I was stripped of all that progress. I feel lost and disoriented. Unable to determine reality from fiction.
And I’m done.
This isn’t what I want out of life. I don’t want the ups and downs, the roller coaster of emotions. I want stability and certainty, and I deserve it. I deserve more.
So, I’m going to take it. I’m taking control.
Chapter Twenty-One
The thing about ignoring your problems is they’re not going to go away. I know this, yet I can’t bring myself to deal with mine.
Not today, anyway.
When I woke up, there were two messages waiting for me from Vinnie. One saying goodnight and one good morning.
My fingers hovered over the keyboard, wanting to reply. To tell him off. To say something, anything, but I couldn’t bring myself to type a response.
What do I even say?
I know the truth. I know you’re only using me. I’m not an idiot.
I’ve typed all those things and quickly deleted them.
He doesn’t deserve an explanation as to why I’m not replying. Not if it’s true, and the fact that Ally heard it straight from his mouth, as he was telling his best friend, leads me to believe that its more than likely the truth.
And the truth hurts.
As I sit at the counter, sipping on my first cup of coffee for the morning, I replay the last four weeks in my head.
The first week was a whirlwind. Even if he had been using me, that week should have shown me. I mean, he had me. He was in my bed. He got what he wanted. Over and over again. He could have left at any moment. He didn’t have to give me his phone number or lead me on. It would have been a clean break at the end of the week. Sunday should have been the end of it. All of it.
Rumors: Megan & Vinnie Page 15
