2 tablespoons cornstarch, and a little more
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups of pumpkin (2 cans)—not the pumpkin pie mix; plain pumpkin
2 eggs
4 tablespoons dark molasses
3 cups evaporated milk (2 cans)
8 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
OR:
4 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon cloves (go easy on the cloves)
2 teaspoons nutmeg
2 teaspoons ginger
You’ll need a BIG mixing bowl for this. Mix up the brown sugar and other dry ingredients, then gradually add in the pumpkin. Save the evaporated milk for last, when the pumpkin is thoroughly mixed. Fold in the milk at the end, and put your mixer on slow or you’ll have pumpkin slung all over the kitchen. You’ll think you’ve done something wrong, because the mixture will be thin, pourable. And a soft brown color, not bright orange.
Preheat your oven to 450˚F. Use nonstick spray on your pie pans (deep-dish glass ones if you have them). Put in the unbaked pie crusts, crimp the edges to make it pretty, and then divide the filling between the two pies. Bake at 450˚F for 15 minutes, then reduce to 325˚F and bake for an additional 40-50 minutes. Takes a long time to bake. Pie is done when a table knife inserted in the center comes out clean.
Mama’s Best Buttermilk Cake
This one’s so good it oughta win an Oscar. It did, in fact. When I was twelve, Boone’s uncle Oscar stole Mama’s cake right off the table at the Holy Innocents Church Bazaar, and Sister Immaculata chased him on foot all the way to the courthouse square to get it back.
3 cups plain (not self-rising) flour
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon soda
4 eggs
2 sticks butter or margarine
2 ½ cups sugar (save out ½ cup for the egg whites)
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Sift together flour, salt, baking powder, and soda. Separate eggs and hold out the whites; mix egg yolks and remainder of ingredients with the flour mixture. At the end, mix the egg whites with the remaining ½ cup sugar and beat until thick (but not stiff like meringue). Fold in egg whites and mix thoroughly but not too vigorously.
Bake in a greased tube pan at 350˚F for 1 hour 20 minutes, or until the top is brown and crusty, and a toothpick comes out clean.
Purdy’s Red Feather Boa Velvet Cake
Mama got this recipe from Purdy about a hundred years ago. She probably doesn’t even remember it was hers to begin with, but I give her credit anyway. This is the recipe I snatched from the box when she wasn’t looking, since I couldn’t lay my hands on Mama’s copy. It comes out the same color as that red feather boa she wears.
½ cup shortening
1 ½ cups sugar
2 eggs
2 ounces red food coloring
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon salt
2 ½ cups plain (not self-rising) flour
1 cup buttermilk
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon soda
1 teaspoon butter flavor
Cream together shortening, sugar, and eggs. Make a paste of the food coloring and cocoa, and add that. Mix salt and flour together; mix buttermilk and vinegar together. Add those in gradually, alternating flour mixture with buttermilk mixture, and blend everything together gently, but don’t beat it.
Pour into two 9” layer cake pans greased with nonstick spray. Bake at 350˚ for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool on racks and frost.
Frosting:
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
1 cup butter or margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla
Cook flour and milk over low heat until thick. Let cool well. (Do this before you start the cake batter, and set it aside.) When the cake is done and you’re ready to frost, cream together sugar, butter, and vanilla. Add to milk mixture and beat until stiff.
For people like Toni who don’t cook: Make sure the cake layers are completely cool before frosting. Take one layer and turn it upside down on your cake plate (flat side up). Brush off the loose crumbs. Put a layer of frosting on the flat side, then gently position the second layer, flat side down, on top. Brush the loose crumbs off the sides and top. Frost the sides next, and the top last—that makes it prettier.
Boone’s Best Oatmeal Cookies
Chase used to say that real men don’t bake, but this recipe proves him wrong. All the nuns at Holy Innocents swear by these cookies—if nuns swear, that is. Probably not. At least, not out loud. But what do I know? I’m a Baptist.
1 cup plain flour (not self-rising)
¾ teaspoon soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon (double this if you like your cookies spicy)
¾ teaspoon nutmeg
¾ cup shortening
1⅓cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups old fashioned oatmeal
Mix dry ingredients together (except oatmeal). Cream shortening, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Fold in flour and other dry ingredients, and add oatmeal last. Mix well; dough will be sticky.
Drop by spoonfuls onto greased baking sheet, and bake at 350˚F for 12-15 minutes. Do not overbake; cookies should be soft and chewy, not hard and crispy. If you want, you can roll this dough up in wax paper, refrigerate, and then cut into circles to bake. The dough will keep in the fridge for several days.
For real decadence, add a bag of semisweet chocolate chips. Boone tells me that chocolate chips will get you extra prayers.
Scratch’s Comfort Sandwich
With a nod to the King of Rock ’n’ Roll.
This is pretty unhealthy, especially coming from a man who had dreams of becoming a surgeon. But comfort food is all about comfort, now, isn’t it?
2 slices of bread, lightly toasted (wheat is best)
Creamy peanut butter
Jelly (strawberry jam is best; grape will do in a pinch)
2 slices of Spam
Spread peanut butter on the two slices of toast. Add jam to the peanut butter (both sides). Fry up the Spam in a skillet. Lay in the meat, close ’er up, and perform a surgical incision diagonally from corner to corner. Good with sweet tea. Better with milk.
Grandma Livi’s Fried Apple Pies
There’s two ways to do this: the hard way and the easy way. But neither one is very hard, unless you’re Toni.
The hard way:
2-3 apples
Sugar
Water
Cinnamon
Pie crust
Cornstarch
Vegetable oil
Core, peel, and slice your apples. I like Granny Smiths and Romes and Macintosh, but almost any firm apple will do. Cut the slices into chunks. Start with two or three apples; you can always make more if you get carried away.
Cook apples slowly with a little sugar (or Splenda, if you prefer), a little water, and lots of cinnamon. You can use apple pie spice if you want, or add in a bit of nutmeg. Don’t ask how much sugar or spice; you just gotta experiment until it tastes right. Not too much water—you want the apples soft and tender, but you don’t want a lot of runny juice. You can thicken it up with a little cornstarch if you like.
[Note to beginners: you have to mix the cornstarch with a bit of COLD water; otherwise it will make a mess.]
Make the pie crust recipe I gave you with the pumpkin pie [see page 300]. Roll it out and cut it into circles about the size of a softball. Plop a spoonful of the apple mixture onto one half of the circle, fold the dough over, and crimp with a fork. Then fry it in a pan—use an inch or so of corn oil or vegetable oil, and make sure your oil is hot enough (but not smoking), so the pies will get crispy without getting soggy. Fry, flip, fry, flip—it’s not
hard, but it takes some time.
Drain the pies on a baking rack with paper towels underneath to catch the grease. This keeps the pies from getting soggy on the paper towel.
The easier (and healthier) way:
Go to the store and get a few of those roll-out pie crusts. Follow the directions above, and use Splenda instead of sugar. You can throw in a little brown sugar mix, too, if you like. Or if you really want to cheat, buy a couple of cans of apple pie mix and add a little more cinnamon and nutmeg.
Roll out the pie crust, cut, and crimp as instructed above. Then place in a glass pan (use nonstick spray) and bake at 400˚F for ten minutes or so, until the pies are brown and crispy.
Unless you’re pathologically honest (as Boone would say), you can do the cheat method and get away with it, and everybody will think you slaved in the kitchen all day. Why should they know any different?
Heartbreak Fudge Pie
This pie is so good it will break your heart and then heal it up again. It’s my own recipe, and I offer it to you with love and thanks for sticking with me during my own year of struggle and healing. Come to Chulahatchie and have lunch at the Heartbreak Cafe, and I’ll give you a slice of this pie and a cup of coffee, on the house.
Crust:
1 cup finely chopped pecans (you can use walnuts, too, but that’s not so Southern)
¼ cup butter or margarine
¼ cup sugar
1 tablespoon flour
Finely chop the nuts. Cream together butter and sugar, then add the nuts and the bit of flour to hold it all together. Grease pie plate or spray with nonstick cooking spray. Makes one 9-inch pie crust.
Filling:
½ cup margarine
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
2 squares of unsweetened chocolate, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla
⅓ cup plain flour (not self-rising)
1/2teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
Mix ingredients by hand. Place in the crust (above) and bake at 325˚F for 35-45 minutes. Serve warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
A Final Word from Dell
Right before she died, my mama said, “Dell, honey, lemme tell you something. When you come to the end of your days and are looking down the barrel of eternity, ain’t nothin’ gonna matter in this life or the next, except how well you loved the people you love.”
Mama was right. As usual.
In the long run, nothing else counts. Not stuff you’ve acquired or accomplishments you’ve racked up, or any of it, no matter how important it seems right now. There’s only one thing you can take with you to the other side. One thing. Love. Risky, outrageous, terrifying, soul-revealing love.
Love isn’t just the most important thing; it’s everything.
But then, you already know that. And so do I.
We just might need to remind each other now and then.
Heartbreak Cafe Page 23
