“I know a lot of these places, which means other people will, too.” She shook her head. “The chances of the money being there are slim, but if it is, we’ll find it, won’t we, George?”
He pulled back his shoulders and jutted his chin. “Yes, ma’am, we will.”
“Good, then we’ll leave you to it.” With a final encouraging smile, Cat slid from the booth and stood to the side, hitching her bag onto her shoulder. “Fifty thousand pounds is a lot of money, and with your help, we’ll soon know the name of Sarah’s killer and be able to arrest him before Bennett tries to send me back to Reading.”
Jay stood beside her. “Ring either of us as soon as you know...or find anything. Wherever Cat is, I’ll be, okay?”
George gave a curt nod. “Will do.”
Cat walked to the door and then stopped. She turned back. Marian and George were sidled close together, their heads bowed over the list with Marian’s face sternly issuing instructions. George lifted his hand into a salute every time she took a breath.
Tipping her head back, she met Jay’s eyes. “They’re on it.”
He smiled. “Good. Now I hope we can finish the conversation we started.”
Cat swallowed but didn’t look away. No more looking away. “Okay.”
He arched an eyebrow, surprise showing in his steady brown gaze. “Okay?”
Hope and optimism surged into Cat’s heart as she realized she wanted to share the burden with him. Wanted him to know her true life and not the one she constantly portrayed to the entire world. She nodded. “Okay.”
His wide, satisfied smile set her heart thumping as Jay took her hand and led her to the car. Their eyes met over the roof before they opened the doors and got in. Cat pulled on her seat belt, her hand trembling as he started the engine and pulled away.
“Do you want to go back to the cabin?”
She shook her head. “No, we’ll talk on the way to the drug haunt. If I don’t do this en route, I’ll feel like we’re wasting precious time for Sarah. And what I have to tell you is hard enough to share as it is.”
He gave a slight nod and turned back to the windshield. When his hand slid over hers and held tight, she didn’t pull away but squeezed her eyes shut instead.
“Mum’s...” The words caught and lodged in Cat’s throat like tiny bullets of guilt. The perpetual feeling of responsibility rained down on her. Betrayal of her mum was the last thing she wanted, but over the years, Cat had weakened and Jay was her strength. Always had been. Tell him. Say the damn words. “She’s an alcoholic and I don’t think I can help her anymore.”
Silence passed with each beat of her racing heart. She turned. His gaze was focused straight ahead, his jaw tight. “How long?”
“How long has she been drinking? Seven years.”
“Since your dad?”
“Since Dad.”
“Right.”
Silence. Cat pursed her lips together. Nothing else needed to be said. He knew addiction. He knew the grip of its long-stretching fingers, knew its gradual and destructive path. He had lived in the midst of its all-consuming hunger for both for the victim and anyone they held dear. The emotional strain of what he’d done and what he wanted to make better showed in every line on his face, every beat of his heart.
He coughed. “You want an end to it? Is that what you’re saying?”
Shame consumed her day after day even though Cat knew it was irrational and unsubstantiated. She’d told on her mum. Told on her to a boy who only knew her as one of the most glamorous mums in the world.
Tears burned her eyes. “Yes.”
“Does Julia?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then there’s nothing you can do right now.”
“Sometimes she does, but then hours later she’s drunk and any hope I had is lying at the bottom of an empty bottle.”
“She has to want this for herself, Cat.”
“I know, and I want you to help me show her.”
His gaze drifted over her face. He nodded. “Okay.”
Blowing out her held breath, Cat returned his smile and tightened her fingers around his.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JAY STOOD ON THE PAVEMENT and stared up at the three-bedroom end terrace house as though it were Dracula’s castle. Evening was falling and the facade of the once-white painted house looked grayer and uglier than he’d dared to remember. Filthy nicotine-stained net curtains hung haphazardly at the windows, the small front garden was strewn with wind-whipped sheets of newspaper, tin cans and beer bottles. A tiny window hung open downstairs and the smell of cannabis drifted along the evening breeze, tainting the prewar housing estate with its invisible evil.
Cat inhaled a shaky breath beside him but Jay didn’t turn. He didn’t want to see the look in her eyes.
“You ready?”
Jay exhaled. “As I’ll ever be.”
“Jay, look at me.”
He turned and met her beautiful green eyes. She looked somehow lighter, happier, more determined.
She made to touch him and then dropped her hand to her side as though remembering where they were. The skin at her neck shifted. “We’re in this together, okay? You know my stuff. I know yours. When we go inside there, I won’t be looking at anything and imagining how you were. I’ll be inside that dump as a cop and a cop only, okay?”
Tension rippled along his shoulders, making his neck ache and his hands curl into fists at his sides. “Okay.”
She turned back to the house. “It’s imperative nobody gets the slightest idea there might be something personal between us. If they do, they have the perfect weakness to attack.”
He followed her gaze as fury for the past and present burned inside his veins. “I’m not going to let anyone in there touch either of us. They’ll have to kill me first.”
“That’s exactly what worries me.”
Jay drew in a long breath and exhaled. Whatever happened behind the chipped and peeling front door, he was supposed to pretend Cat was nothing more than a cop investigating a murder. Not the love of his life, not the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
The heat of her stare burned at his temple. “I’m carrying Mace and that’s the first thing I use if anything gets nasty, okay? If you don’t let me take the first step, you could find yourself in front of a judge. Jay?”
He couldn’t drag his gaze from the house.
“Jay, answer me or we get back in the car and leave. If you can’t promise me you’ll let me lead this, I can’t promise I won’t come back here on my own.”
His suppressed anger heightened. She had him by the balls and damn well knew it.
“Fine. I promise.”
She blew out a breath. “Right. Then let’s do this.”
They moved forward and when they reached the door, Jay rapped his knuckles on it in a succinct and rapid motion. The mail slot at waist level flipped outward and Jay leaned down, his hands splayed on his knees.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Bloody hell. Jay?”
“Open the door, Captain. Got someone with me.”
The mail slot opened higher, trembled and clanked shut again. Jay sent up a silent prayer for God’s help as the sound of three locks being shunted back echoed against the door. He turned and met Cat’s eyes. She stared back at him, her green gaze softening for an imperceptible second as though reassuring him before they turned ice-cold once more.
Nothing would happen to her. Nothing.
/> The door slowly opened and the smell wafting from the small open window blasted Jay’s face in a cloud of unwelcome remembrance. Resisting the urge to reach back and take Cat’s hand, he stepped over the threshold. She followed him inside. Seconds later the door slammed shut behind them. Jay fought the memories that rushed into his brain and sped his heart. This was for Sarah. For Cat. For him.
Captain, an emancipated man/boy of nineteen, worked as the door lookout in exchange for his drug of choice. The boy’s life was as wasted as anyone’s ever could be. Jay’s hands curled into fists. One by one, he wanted to save them all. The decision to do something, anything poured into his blood on a wave of angry revulsion. He had run from his demons for too long, and now he wanted nothing more than to strike them down and bury them alive.
Once Sarah’s killer was found, he would come back here. He’d come back and get this place shut down.
Once he threw the bolts back into place, Captain turned his weary-eyed stare on Cat. His eyes traveled over her from hair to shoes and back again. Although Cat was dressed in jeans and a vest top, Captain leered at her as though she were naked and bitter anger shot into Jay’s throat.
“Oi, Captain, look at me. Not her.”
The boy turned. “Who’s your friend?” He swiped his scabbed forearm over his mouth. “She want turning?”
Jay’s anger burned hotter and he stepped toward Captain, barely controlling the need to clench the boy’s chin in his fingers. Aware of Cat’s gaze on him, Jay fought the memory the smell coming from Captain evoked, the sad truth there had been a time when Jay lingered in the same rancid cloud of self-hate.
A storm of emotion churned inside him as Jay glared into the boy’s eyes. “This is Detective Sergeant—”
“You brought a cop here?” Panic showed in Captain’s gaze as it shot to Cat over Jay’s shoulder. “Have you got a death wish?”
Jay grabbed his arm and dragged the boy through the hallway and into the back room where he knew the most people would be. He didn’t need to turn around to know Cat was right behind him. He’d never been more aware of another person in his life. Impatience and desperation to get her out of there burned like lit paraffin through his blood. He should be alone with these people, not exposing her to a life that filled him with self-hatred and shame. Everything wafted over him and seeped into his pores, he would do something to change this if it took his last breath. No more.
He lingered in the doorway, squinting his eyes, willing them to adjust before someone who might be lucid jumped him. After a moment, he pushed Captain forward and stepped toward the black sheet hanging at the window. He yanked it down and twilight spilled across the room in a hazy white spear.
Jay froze as memories immobilized him. Three men and two women in different states of undress lay in varying levels of consciousness against each other. One or two of them lifted their hands above their eyes, shielding them against the unexpected brightness.
Captain stared. “What’s this about? What’s a cop doing here?”
“Jay.”
Cat’s voice was abrupt behind him. Jay whirled around. His heart leaped into his throat. Renowned dealer and all-round underground boss, Kyle Jordon, stood a head-height above her...smiling like all his damn Christmases had come at once.
Jay’s eyes locked with his as blood roared in his ears. “Kyle.”
The older man’s smile grew to a grin. “Jay, my man. Look at you. Never thought I’d see the day you’d step back in here.” He ran his gaze over Cat’s hair. “And with a damn sexy cop, no less.”
Stepping closer, Jay met Kyle’s eyes as adrenaline ripped through his veins and with it, the growing knowledge he’d knock Kyle out if he so much as laid a single finger on Cat. This was his fault. His fault this beautiful woman was in such a godforsaken hole. His eyes shifted to hers and she stared back confidently, her hand already poised on the Mace she concealed at her waist.
“Can you spare us a few minutes for a chat?” Jay shifted his gaze to Kyle.
Kyle grinned and gestured toward the doorway, indicating they leave the partially comatose party and head into the equally filthy and squalid kitchen.
Cat cleared her throat and stepped away from him. “Why don’t you lead the way? I’d hate to get lost in here.”
He smiled. “Now, we wouldn’t want that...although, I wouldn’t mind a quick game of hide-and-seek with you, pretty lady.”
Jay clenched his fists as Cat kept her gaze level with Kyle’s, her entire demeanor screaming control. She smiled. “A pretty lady who could quite easily lift her knee and ram it in your gonads before you had time to draw a breath.”
He laughed. “Yum. She’s as fiery as hell, too.”
Cat brushed past him. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll find my own way because if I have to stand here smelling your breath much longer, I’ll throw up.”
Biting back a smile as pride filled his chest, Jay watched Kyle eye Cat’s retreating backside and slowly walked toward him. At six foot two, Kyle wasn’t small, and when Jay stood in front of him, their gazes were level.
“She’s here investigating a murder, not your drug pushing. So back off and just answer her questions, okay?”
Kyle arched an eyebrow. “Are you telling me what to do in my house?”
Jay leaned closer to him and huffed out a quiet laugh. “Your house? You’re about as likely to spend a night in this place as you are of sharing another ounce of breathing space with Sergeant Forrester.”
The older man laughed, his wide grin revealing teeth that must have cost him a good chunk of his illegal fortune. “Well, well, well. I think somebody’s got a soft spot for the sergeant. Interesting.”
“Just answer our questions and we’ll leave.” Jay hated that his feelings for Cat were so damn transparent he might as well have had an “I love Cat” placard hanging around his neck. “Neither of us wants any trouble, so let’s get this done and then we’ll be on our way...unless I decide to make it my personal mission to save the people screwing up their lives like I could have mine.”
“Aww, you want to help them?” Kyle’s smile dissolved and his eyes flashed dangerously.
Anger burned in Jay’s gut, making his heart race and his head pound. “Nothing you do scares me, Kyle. I’m sober and I’m ready for you.”
“Have you two finished?”
Cat’s voice barely penetrated the veil of suppressed rage beating around Jay’s body. She stepped in between them and splayed a hand on each of their chests. His gaze remained locked on Kyle’s as Jay trembled with fury.
“I want the pair of you to move into the kitchen right now before I call for backup,” Cat said quietly. “None of us wants that. Not me, not Jay and especially not you, Kyle. Now, will the pair of you drop the testosterone face-off and get into the room that I assume once resembled a kitchen?”
Cat walked out. Kyle was the first to break eye contact and follow her.
Knowing he was in serious danger of blowing sky-high any chance of either of them obtaining vital information, Jay focused on controlling the guilt, shame and sadness coursing through him. He drew in a long breath through flared nostrils and followed the man he once thought was his savior. The knowledge stuck like a rock in his throat.
* * *
CAT’S HEART BEAT LIKE a drum and her hands were clammy. She leaned against the counter, then thought again and stepped away, hoping nothing unrecognizable was stuck to her backside. The place reeked of stale food,
drugs and sweat. She swallowed, not wanting to inhale. The low hum of Jay’s and Kyle’s voices stopped and she crossed her arms to stare hard at the doorway as she waited for them to appear.
Kyle came first. His scowl turned to a grin.
“Why didn’t you sit down?” he asked. “There ain’t nothing on those seats that wouldn’t come out in a sixty-degree wash.” He laughed at his own wit.
Cat sniffed. “Sixty degrees? The water will have to be past boiling to tackle the smell on my clothes when I leave here, let alone anything else.” She uncrossed her arms and slid her hands into her jeans pockets. “Why don’t you sit down so we can have a little chat?”
He walked farther into the room and Jay came in behind him, his expression a telltale picture of how hard being back in the crack house was for him. His brow was deeply furrowed, his jaw tight. Cat sent up a silent prayer to God asking Him to give Jay the strength to get through the next fifteen minutes or however long it took for her to get what she wanted from Kyle. She briefly met his eyes over Kyle’s shoulder.
They were stone cold, looking through her rather than at her. He was gone, lost in his own soul-destroying memories. Cat’s nerves hitched a little higher. Jay needed to hold on to whatever sorrow whirled around inside him. Anything less could ruin the only chance they had of gaining cooperation from a massive player in the drug scene. Cat had a feeling no one would talk to them if Kyle said so, and if anyone did, he would order their legs gone and possibly their lives.
“You going to stand there staring at my boy Jay all day, Sergeant, or is there something you wanted to ask me?”
Cat turned. Kyle pulled a cigarette box from his inside pocket and shot one into his mouth. “Got things to do, places to be.” The cigarette bounced on each word as he pulled a silver lighter from his pocket. He stared at Cat above the flame, the smoke rising between them.
She took a step closer and Kyle grinned like a maniac. “Is there something funny, Kyle?”
He laughed. “If you and my man aren’t bouncing the bed springs, my radar is way off.”
Finding Justice Page 21
