by Alison Ryan
He’d woken up one morning tired of being a sad drunk. His brother Durham had finally told him he needed to do something or he was cutting him out of his co-CEO position at their new enterprise, Elixir.
“It’s been a year,” Durham said. “The mourning has to stop. You weren’t even with her that long. What’s wrong with you? Hell, we can jump on a plane right now, you pick the destination, and I can introduce you to models on whichever continent you choose. Well, maybe not Antarctica. I only know penguins there, but my point is, you’re Barrett. Fucking. Evers. And unless I want them first, you can have anyone you choose, bro. ”
“I don’t want just anyone,” Barrett said. “And I don’t fucking care about being a co-CEO. Fire me. As far as I know, it’s part of the reason she’s gone. Because I’m an Evers.”
Durham shook his head, “Well, brother, that’s not something that’s ever going to change. You can’t let her do this to you. We’re only as heartbroken as we allow ourselves to believe we are.”
Barrett looked at Durham, “What the fuck? You need to get a new yogi. That’s the stupidest bullshit I’ve ever heard.”
But Durham was partially right, which was a rare occurrence. Barrett couldn’t lay in his mansion forever and drink away the past. And as much as he wanted to, he also couldn’t change it or wish for a better one. His heart might never heal, but that didn’t stop the fact that it was still beating. He had to do something with his life. Barrett never wanted to be a rich kid who spent his days consuming and never giving back to the life happening around him.
But he also didn’t want to do it through his father’s companies any longer. His parents had been horrified when he skipped the LSAT and swore off law school for the foreseeable future. And even now, he didn’t want that life again. It’s where Scarlet still lived, in a way, because it represented the future he no longer had with her.
No, he needed to do something different.
And so, to everyone’s shock (and his mother’s dismay) he was now here in Great Lakes to start something that would take Barrett to the furthest depths of himself. He needed to be baptized a new man. Being that he wasn’t overtly religious, this was the best way he knew how to do it. To prove to himself, to his family, and to his country that he was more than a wounded heart and a big pile of money.
It had been explained to him by his recruiter that to become a SEAL he would still need to go through Navy boot camp before heading to BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL school) in Coronado, near San Diego.
“First a sailor, then a SEAL,” his recruiter said. “If you can make it that far.”
Boot camp hadn’t been easy, but it also hadn’t been as much of a struggle as he thought it would be. He’d been in the 800 Division, with the other SEAL hopefuls. Their group had higher expectations placed on them than the other divisions and their days consisted of two-a-days (PT twice a day) and more swimming than Barrett had ever thought was imaginable for any living creature without scales, fins, and gills.
He’d immediately bonded with Atlas Titan since everyone in their division hated them for being the rich assholes. No one understood why either of them were there, and it angered both Barrett and Atlas that anyone would doubt their commitment to their team and their nation. Being loaded didn’t change their need to prove themselves as men. If anything it drove them to want to prove it even more; to their teammates and to themselves.
And prove themselves they did.
By the end of boot camp both men were at the top of their class in both PT and in academics. Barrett had given the Navy every ounce of aggression and heart he had left in him and they had given so much back in the way of brotherhood and loyalty to his fellow warriors who all longed to wear the Trident. They still had a long way to go, but they’d made it this far. They were prepared for Hell.
Barrett had never felt so alive, not since his summer with Scarlet. It still paled in comparison to his time with her, but it was a gift to get some of himself back from the dark hole he’d been in the past year. For the first time in his life he’d accomplished something completely on his own merit, without any influence from his family or people’s preconceived ideas of who he was.
They were shipping out for Coronado after graduation and Barrett had invited his family, not expecting any of them to show up besides maybe Durham. Clementine was in rehab again, and his parents hadn’t spoken to him since they found out about his naval ambitions.
On the day of graduation, Barrett was called into a special meeting with the captain and commanding officer of the entire recruitment training center. Not knowing that this was highly unusual, Barrett entered the office with high hopes.
Those hopes were quickly dashed when he saw his mother and father were present.
“What are you all doing here?” he asked. His father beamed at him, an expression on his face Barrett had never seen before. It looked almost like pride.
Patricia looked completely different. Her lips were pursed and her eyes were narrowed.
“Son, I can’t believe how great you look,” Rhett Evers interrupted. “You’ve clearly become a real man while you’ve been here.”
“Did you not think we would want to see you graduate?” his mother retorted.
“Actually, no. I didn’t,” Barrett replied. “You made it pretty clear how you felt about me doing this. If I recall correctly your exact words were ‘what a waste of potential. Throwing your life away for a common existence.’ But maybe I’m paraphrasing, mother.”
The captain glanced at Patricia, a flash of anger in his eyes for a moment that he let pass. He looked at Barrett, a sympathetic look on his face.
“Evers,” he said. “I’m afraid to tell you that you are ineligible to continue on with your division. You will graduate today but this will be the end of your Navy journey. I’m so sorry to break this to you, son.” Captain looked over at his parents. “I absolutely don’t agree with this but it is what it is, apparently.”
Barrett sat there slack-jawed.
“How can I be ineligible?” he argued. “Sir, I mean no disrespect, but haven’t I been exemplary? Haven’t I given my division my all? Was there something I missed?”
The captain cleared his throat and looked over at Rhett and Patricia Evers, a less than admiring look on his face, “Apparently it’s been brought to our attention that you suffer from a childhood medical condition we were unaware of before you began your training here. It has made you ineligible to serve.”
Barrett stood, angry, “Sir, that’s complete bullshit. I passed MEPS with flying colors. I have never in my life been to the doctor for anything other than a cold. What are you talking about?”
Patricia spoke, “Barrett, you must have forgotten. You were born with a hole in your heart. Very common, but still, worrisome nonetheless with the strenuous physical training you’d be forced to endure.”
“Choose to endure,” Barrett corrected her. “That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? I made a choice that you and Dad don’t agree with so you’ve come here and fucked everything up for me. There’s no medical condition. You two just love to prove you hold the cards. Well, this time it’s not going to work.”
Barrett looked back at the captain, “Sir, I apologize. I’m not quitting. I’m fine. I’ve made it through boot camp, which must tell you something.”
Captain looked Barrett Evers in the eyes, “Son, I have no doubt you’d have made a fine sailor and a great SEAL if you made it through BUD/S.”
“Not if. When,” Barrett corrected him. “I’ve got what it takes. Sir.”
“This is something that’s beyond my control,” the captain said. “Believe me, were it up to me, you’d be moving on with your team.”
Barrett sat back, allowing the realization to hit him. His parents had somehow bought his way out. Without his consent, because as usual, it didn’t matter. Their money could make anything happen, their connections reached the upper echelons of the most powerful people on the planet. Barrett knew
that anything he said didn’t matter. It was wasted breath.
“You can still graduate today, Barrett,” his mother said, her voice chipper. “You still accomplished something that none of us thought you would.”
Barrett had no reply. He stood up and looked at his captain, offering his hand, “Sir. It has been my extreme honor to train here. I can confidently tell you this is one of the worst days of my life but also one of the greatest, because it feels good to have finished something that had nothing to do with the terrible people in this room. If there is any way that this can somehow change, I will forever be happy to come back and finish what I started. That being said, I think I would like to leave, sir. With your permission.”
The captain shook his hand, “I understand, son. I wish this was all different somehow. I’ve never dealt with anything like this. Would you like to say goodbye to your fellow sailors?”
“Just one,” Barrett said. “Atlas Titan.”
With that, Barrett saluted the captain, executed a perfect turn, and left the office with nary a glance back at his parents.
Chapter Forty
Barrett spoke with Atlas from his San Diego mansion until the sun started peeking through the small basement windows. Atlas had no great words of wisdom for him, he mostly listened quietly, taking in the entire tale of Barrett’s week in San Diego with Scarlet.
“Brother,” Atlas said to his friend. “There is more to this story. I’m sure of it.”
Barrett was surprised at his friend’s reply. When Barrett first shared the story of Scarlet with Atlas back in Great Lakes years ago, Atlas had been resolute with his advice to completely forget about her, that she was toxic and fucked up, a cancer on Barrett’s life.
“But you said she was toxic and it’s clear you were right,” Barrett said. “What have you always told me? ‘See things as they are and not how I want them to be.’ That’s your motto.”
“Exactly,” Atlas replied. “And you can’t see things as they are because you don’t know the entire story yet. Just like you didn’t know it then.”
Barrett sighed, “Fuck. I was hoping you would tell me something simple.”
“Since when are you and Scarlet simple?” Atlas said. “It’s just, after what your parents did to you after training, and her story about your mom- I’m beginning to think there’s a common equation to your misery. You need to talk to her. Give her a chance to explain what the fuck happened. No bullshit.” Atlas paused. “The best decision is an educated one. You need all the hard facts.”
“I can’t believe she was pregnant,” Barrett lamented. “I would have been so fucking happy if she’d told me that. She has to have known that. Something spooked her bad.”
“Yep,” Atlas said. “And its name is Patricia.”
Chapter Forty-One
That night Scarlet had to be sedated by Nancy in order to sleep.
“Here, take one of my Xanax,” Nancy offered, handing Scarlet a blue pill. “It’ll help.”
Scarlet didn’t argue. She popped one in her mouth and chased it with a bottle of water.
“I’m sorry,” Scarlet said. “I don’t want to talk about anything. I just want to cry and sleep. Somehow.”
“Of course,” Nancy said. She wasn’t sure what to say to Scarlet. It was the first time she had no idea what to do. Usually she was the advice giver, the consigliere if you will. But she was still in shock over Patricia’s revelation. And if she’d known what would be revealed, she never would have agreed to bring her to San Diego. Even if it meant her job.
Scarlet took a long, hot shower, weeping with each drop. The pain in her heart manifested as physical pain to her whole body, leaving her with flu-like aches. Being apart from him was torture, the worst punishment he could have handed down to her, even though she knew she deserved it.
She’d thought of going back to him, but she didn’t want to jeopardize her chance of explaining what had happened all those years ago. She was at his mercy now and even despite the low probability of them being together again, she still held out hope.
The combination of the shower and the pill made her drowsy and around midnight she finally fell into a dreamless sleep, her last waking thoughts were how much she missed falling asleep in Barrett’s arms.
The next morning Scarlet woke up to a text from Barrett:
Good morning. Want to join me for a late breakfast? Say 1030?
She texted back:
Yes. I would love that. See you soon.
She realized afterwards that she hadn’t brought her suitcase with her, so she had no clothes to change into. She’d worn a set of Nancy’s pajamas last night but Nancy was a couple sizes bigger than Scarlet.
Nancy ran her to Target to get some jeans and an off the shoulder blouse with some flats. She pulled her hair up into a bun with shorter pieces framing her face. He loved when he could see her face and she wanted to be very pleasing for him today.
“I’ll be at the hotel if you need me,” Nancy said. “I’ve got some work to catch up on.”
“Thanks,” Scarlet said as she climbed out of Nancy’s rental. “I’ll text you in a little while.
“Scarlet,” Nancy said. “I want you to know, you’ll always come first. I love Barrett very much, but you’re my niece. My blood. And I don’t want you to make any decisions based on a potential outcome of my job or your mom’s. None of it would mean anything to us compared to your well-being. Okay? Jobs are just jobs. But we only have one of you.”
Scarlet’s eyes filled with tears and she grabbed her aunt, hugging her tight, “I love you, Aunt Nancy.”
“Me too, kiddo,” she said, trying to hold back her own tears. “Now go in there and fix this. Be honest. Lay your cards on the table.”
Scarlet nodded and slowly closed the passenger side door. She faced the front entrance of Barrett’s mansion and took a breath. She’d never been so nervous in her life.
But it was time.
42
Five Years Ago
“Miss Bloom, your test results came back. And you’re definitely pregnant. We’ll need to do an ultrasound to confirm but with the dates you gave us for your last cycle, it’s still too early to hear a heartbeat. We’ll have you come back at ten weeks,” Dr. Hill said, as Scarlet sat on the exam table in a paper gown and ankle socks.
Her jaw was on the floor.
“How is this possible?” Scarlet asked. “I’m on birth control.”
Dr. Hill gave a thin smile, “Do you take it every day? At the same time?”
Scarlet shook her head, “There have been times I’ve forgotten, I’ll admit. But I always double dose the next day.”
“Well, that makes it less likely to prevent pregnancy,” Dr. Hill replied. “Which sounds like is what happened in your case. I take it this is a shock?”
“The biggest,” she whispered, but part of her was… happy. Insanely happy, and immediately cognizant of every little thing that was happening with her body. She clutched her abdomen, a smile creeping over her face. “It wasn’t planned but sometimes I guess the best things never are. Do we know the due date?”
Dr. Hill glanced at her chart, “It’s hard to say without an ultrasound. But if I was guessing by your last cycle, I would put it at either mid to late April.”
Scarlet couldn’t believe it. A spring baby. Barrett’s baby. Their love had created a human being. She knew she should be terrified. It changed so many things but she knew they could handle it. As long as they stuck together, they could do anything.
She glanced down at her phone.
“I hate to be so abrupt but I have a lunch date with my future mother-in-law,” Scarlet said.
Dr. Hill smiled, “I was going to ask. I noticed the ring. It’s gorgeous. It sounds like you have an exciting year ahead. Congratulations, Scarlet.”
Scarlet smiled, “Thank you. I’ll make a follow up appointment with the front desk?”
Dr. Hill nodded, “Yep. See you in a month!”
Scarlet’s grin coul
dn’t be hidden as she made the appointment with the apathetic receptionist at the front of the office. How would she tell Barrett? Part of her wanted to call him right now but she also wanted to make it memorable, just like he’d made their engagement memorable.
Either way, she could have floated away on a cloud. Her life was so beautiful that she could barely stand it.
Patricia Evers had requested Scarlet meet her for lunch at the Evers estate in Roswell. She took this as a good sign, that Patricia would invite her to her own home. Maybe Barrett was wrong about his mother. He claimed she was controlling, manipulative, uncaring, and aggressively ambitious. But maybe there was more to the story. Scarlet had decided to go to the lunch with an open mind and an open heart; everyone deserved a blank slate.
Tabula rasa, she thought.
Patricia and Rhett’s Georgia mansion was exquisite. It lay on rolling green hills on acres of land. The house was at the end of a mile long driveway with an iron gate through which Scarlet had to be buzzed by a security guard who looked like he worked for the Secret Service.
Scarlet had dressed her best in a busy print Lily Pulitzer dress and conservative kitten heels, her hair in a low pony tail. She knew Patricia had been a debutante and could probably appreciate a nice Lily ensemble.
She was led to the front entrance by another member of what she imagined must be an enormous staff for such a palatial estate. No one smiled or spoke to her. Her stomach rumbled. She was hungry and she couldn’t help but smile thinking about how her and Barrett’s baby was probably hungry too.
