by Alison Ryan
“Can you imagine living in this place?” Scarlet whispered to Barrett. “What do people do here?”
“Have a lot of kids,” Barrett replied. “Not much else to do.”
Sure enough, it was dark when they got back on the road to Las Vegas. Where the desert had been easily seen and studied earlier, there was now nothing on their drive down the 95 but blackness and an occasional pair of headlights. Every ten to fifteen minutes another car would pass them but otherwise, it was just the lovers, their car, and a long road slicing through the middle of nowhere.
They drove for an hour, listening to The Killers, neither saying much while lost in their thoughts. Barrett glanced over at Scarlet’s bare legs that were crossed now, her feet tapping absent mindedly to the rhythm of the music. He loved her thighs and he couldn’t take his eyes off them. She’d worn a tiny pair of running shorts that day since they’d be outdoors and they were driving him crazy.
“I’m going to pull over,” he suddenly said. “I have an idea.”
Scarlet looked at him with a questioning face.
“In the middle of nowhere?” she asked. “Seriously?”
He ignored her and pulled over to the side of the highway next to a dirt trail. He walked to the back of the SUV and pulled out a blanket he’d noticed had been left there by previous occupants when he’d loaded their bags the first morning. He had no idea it would come in handy later on.
“What are you doing?” Scarlet whispered, even though they’d probably never been farther from other human beings in their entire lives. “This isn’t the time or place for a picnic.”
“Come here,” he demanded. She stepped out of the SUV and he backed her up against the side of it.
His eyes stared at her intensely, “Look up.”
Scarlet glanced up at the dark night and gasped. Above them were millions of stars, more than she’d ever seen in her entire life. The sky was cloudless and clear and being this far from civilization allowed nature to shine at its brightest.
“Oh my God,” she muttered. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
He took her by the hand, the blanket under his other arm, and led her to a small patch of dirt, where he laid out the blanket.
“You don’t think rattlesnakes are out here, do you?” she asked nervously.
Barrett chuckled, “There probably definitely are. And tarantulas,” he teased her. “All sorts of creepy things, but they want as little to do with us as we do with them. Come lay with me.”
The ground was hard underneath them but the large comforter cushioned a lot of it. Scarlet settled into the crook of him and they held each other for a good five minutes, just staring at the universe.
“Do you think,” Barrett started, “that in a past life we might have been together? Staring at these same stars?”
She turned to him, “Most definitely. That’s possibly the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”
He slowly slid his hand up her tank top, “Do you think we made love as much as we have the past month? In other lifetimes of course.”
She gasped at his touch, “Yes. I can’t imagine we wouldn’t have.”
“Do you think you came as easily as I’m about to make you come?” he whispered, sliding his hand under her bra. “You know, before this life.”
She slowly nodded, “Please kiss me, Barrett.”
They kissed, their tongues dancing together. She bit his lip as he squeezed one of her turgid nipples.
“Get undressed,” he commanded. “Let me watch.”
She stood up before him, the moonlight bathing her body in twilight. He pulled down his shorts and boxer briefs, whipped off his shirt as he watched her slowly pull her tank top over her head. She stepped out of her shorts and panties and slid off her Asics. Her curves had never looked so delicious and she fell to him, their passion filling up the space around him.
He entered her slowly, neither of them saying a word. His thrusts were gentle as he ran his hands down her body, her moans of pleasure making him harder than he thought possible.
Her nipples were rigid and he ran his tongue in circles around them, forcing her to cry out for him to suck them, bite them, and fuck her. She wanted everything at once.
“Please,” she implored. “Suck them. Hard.”
His pace quickened as he put each beautiful breast in his mouth. He could feel her hands running up and down his muscled back, her beautiful legs wrapped around his waist as he plunged in and out of her beautiful body.
“Fuck,” he growled. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I can barely take it. Ride me so I can see all of you.”
Without withdrawing, they switched positions. He was on the blanket and she rode on top of him, slowly bucking, her head thrown back, her breasts and torso available for him to explore with the stars as their backdrop.
“Barrett,” she called out to him. “I can’t stop coming.”
He grabbed her hips, lifting her up and down on his cock, “Keep coming. I never want you to forget the night I fucked you under the eyes of the universe.”
She rode him for a long time, both of them moaning, her climaxes arriving faster than they ever had before. He could tell she was worn out, and he badly needed to come inside of her.
He lifted her up and then placed her under him again, back in the missionary position. He could hear the sounds of her wetness as her kept fucking her, making him know that he couldn’t hold out much longer.
“Look at me,” she whispered, touching his face. “Please. I need you to look at me when we both come.”
He erupted inside of her, and she cried out from her own orgasm, and their sounds filled the night. It felt like they were the only people that ever existed, and certainly the only people who had ever been this much in love.
It would stand as Barrett’s most cherished memory, of all the ones he had. Even after Scarlet left him, he’d dream of it, her eyes as she rode him, the words she whispered in his ear. There was no doubt their love had been real and true. Even after all the pain, Barrett knew without a doubt, Scarlet had really loved him.
And little did he know, that night would be the night their child was conceived.
Chapter Forty-Five
Scarlet was at Barrett’s house at 10:30 AM on the nose. Her hands shook as Mark opened the door for her. Barrett was sitting at the bottom of his staircase, like he’d been waiting for her.
As soon as she saw him she wanted to run to his arms, hold him, and never let go. It was so difficult not to greet him that way, and she could tell it was difficult for him too.
He did walk up to her and gently kiss her, taking her hand.
“I missed you,” he confessed. “I slept terrible. Drank too much.”
“I wasn’t much better off,” she said. “I missed you terribly. My bones hurt, I was so broken hearted.”
“Let’s go to the living room,” he said. “I’m drinking some hair of the dog. Do you want anything?”
She shook her head, “No thank you.”
They sat for a few minutes, neither of them sure how to start or what to say. He still couldn’t look directly at her, but she looked incredibly beautiful. She was dressed simply with her hair up, her angelic face and those beautiful chartreuse eyes holding a spell over him.
But he had to be pragmatic.
“Scarlet,” he started. “I need to know everything. Please don’t leave anything out. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, I really don’t. But I need to know everything that’s happened in the last five years.”
Scarlet nodded, “Of course. You deserve that and so much more.”
She slowly told Barrett the story from the night they got back from Easter Island to her lunch the next day at Patricia’s.
“She never told me she had lunch with you,” Barrett said. “Not that it surprises me.”
Scarlet nodded, knowing the hardest part of all still remained.
“So, did you go to her doctor?” he said, coldly. This wa
s the part he was afraid he couldn’t get past. Not that it was entirely her fault. But he was so broken-hearted to know they’d made a child and because of Scarlet’s panic, it was now gone. This would be difficult for both of them.
“I did,” she said. “The next day, after we… separated. I visited him and he gave me some pills. Explained the side effects. Told me to take a few days to myself, that it might be very painful. And to call him if it didn’t work for some reason.”
Barrett’s stomach turned. How was this possible? She’d actually gone through with it?
“So I went home,” she slowly said. “By then your mother had already direct deposited a great deal of money into my account. It made me sick how quickly she was able to move past this and shut me out.” Scarlet’s anger flushed her face at the memory.
“Okay,” Barrett said. “And you took the pills?”
Scarlet stared at him a long time before she spoke.
“There was no way I could lose you both,” she whispered to him. “It was absolutely unbearable to lose you. But there was no way I was going to lose our baby. No, Barrett. I did not take the pills. I flushed them down the toilet.”
Barrett’s heart started pounding. How was it possible?
“But Scarlet…” He couldn’t finish. He didn’t know what was coming next.
“I knew your mother would be watching,” she said. “I holed up in my apartment. Made sure to tell my mother and Nancy I was very sick. I knew that would ensure word got back to your mother. I didn’t go to any appointments, for fear she would have me followed and find out I was still pregnant. I even hid it from my parents and Ben. I made them think I was gaining weight from eating my feelings. After a while I just didn’t see any of them, so it wasn’t that hard.”
He moved over to her side of the couch, taking her hand, “Scarlet? What happened? Did you miscarry?”
Scarlet took a long swallow of her water before she answered.
“No,” she said. “Barrett, she was born on Easter Sunday in April. I had to go away to have her. I went to Nashville where one of my college roommate’s sisters works as a doctor. She’s the only one who knows I was ever pregnant or that I had a baby.”
Scarlet started crying.
Barrett sat back. She. He was a father. Of a daughter. His heart sank thinking about all he had missed.
“Where is she?” he asked. “Is she okay? What happened?”
Scarlet nodded, “She’s okay. She was adopted by a very good family. They’re wonderful people and they send me photos of her. She doesn’t know she’s adopted, she’s only four. But in time they’ll tell her. I just want her to have a normal, great life. Away from me, her awful nothing of a mother.” Scarlet started sobbing. “I’m scared all the time. So afraid Patricia would find out and do something fucking insane. I’ve been sick with guilt and completely miserable without you.”
Barrett held her to him right, tears streaming down his own face, “We will fix this, Scarlet. Everything is going to be okay.”
“I put all the money in a trust for her,” Scarlet said. “I kept a small amount for myself because I was in no place to work or even be functional. I didn’t see my family for two years. I couldn’t face anyone. I was so scared, Barrett.”
Barrett could barely contain his rage over thinking of the pain Scarlet had been through.
“What’s her name?” he asked. “What’s our daughter’s name?”
Scarlet look up at him, a small smile on her face, “They let me name her. Before they took her.” She touched Barrett’s face. “I named her Thisbe.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Barrett’s eyes filled with tears. They slid down his cheeks and he wiped them away, embarrassed at his demonstrative emotion, but too weathered and worn out to care how he looked at the moment.
“I have a daughter,” he said out loud. He wrapped his arms around Scarlet’s shoulders, pulling her to his chest. She wept against his shirt and they stood like that for a long time, both taking in the revelation.
“Do you want to see her picture?” Scarlet asked, fumbling through her pockets for her cell. “I have a bunch of them.”
He sat down on the bottom steps of his grand staircase, watching as Scarlet scrolled through her phone. His heart was racing and he couldn’t imagine what he was about to see.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, Scarlet placed the phone in his shaking hands.
On the screen was a school photo of a little girl. She had thick, wavy, dark hair like her father and Scarlet’s large, chartreuse eyes. Her skin was olive-toned, just like Barrett’s. Her smile reminded him so much of Scarlet’s brother Ben’s. She was missing a front tooth and had a sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of her nose; just like her mother.
Barrett’s heart caught at the sight of her. She was the most beautiful human being in the entire world.
“Thisbe,” he said out loud. “Our Thisbe.”
Scarlet nodded, “She’s such a perfect combination of you and me, isn’t she?”
He looked up at Scarlet, “I wouldn’t expect anything less. She’s your daughter.”
Scarlet sat in his lap, her arms around him, their heads leaned in together as they both looked through all the photos of Thisbe on Scarlet’s phone. Thisbe’s pre-k photo was followed by Thisbe on the swings at a playground, Thisbe on the beach in a purple one piece with a bucket and shovel, and Barrett’s favorite, Thisbe looking off to the side, laughing hysterically at something off camera. Her eyes were closed shut and her mouth was wide open. It was clearly a belly laugh and it reminded him of his sister Clementine.
There was a piece of all of them in his Thisbe.
“She looks so happy,” he said.
Scarlet nodded, “As hard as it is to see her and not be with her, it makes me feel better that she is truly one of the happiest kids on the planet. Her adoptive parents love her so much.”
Barrett handed the phone back to Scarlet, a frown on his face.
“What’s wrong?” Scarlet asked.
“Well, I want to see her,” he said. “And more than that, I want to have her. At home. With us. We’re her parents.”
Scarlet stared at the photo of Thisbe still on her phone, “I wish it were that easy.”
He pulled her close to him, kissing her head, “It can be. We can get her back. Be a family. End this terrible story with a happy ending. I mean, the adoptive parents have to understand, I didn’t even know Thisbe existed. I’ll get my lawyers on it. We’ll work something out. Pay them if we have to.”
Scarlet pulled away from him, suddenly angry, “That’s not how it works, Barrett. God, you sound like your mother right now. Waving money at a problem. These people love her. They’re not going to want to give her up, not for money. I picked them for that very reason. They can’t be bought. And she doesn’t know anyone else but them. She doesn’t even know who I am. We’d be taking her away from the only parents she’s ever known.”
Barrett looked at Scarlet, surprised at her reaction. He knew what she was saying made sense, but he’d had no say in this and he had rights too.
“She’s mine,” he said, firmly. “I know you were in a bind, Scarlet. You were scared and you made the best decision you could at the time. But it doesn’t mean I’m just going to let someone else raise my kid. That’s one mistake I’m not willing to compromise on.”
She was frustrated now, and scared. He wasn’t understanding the stakes at all.
“Your mother,” she started. “She can’t know about this. I’m only telling you so you can understand why this happened. But it can’t change anything. We can’t put what we want before what’s best for her.”
Barrett shook his head, “I will always be what’s best for her. And for you.”
Scarlet knelt in front of him and took his face in her hands, “Of course. Don’t get me wrong, you are what should have been. But to uproot her and put her at risk…” Scarlet let her sentence drift off into nothing.
“You don�
��t have to be afraid anymore,” Barrett said, taking her hands in his. “My mother won’t fucking touch you. I only wish you’d known that from the beginning.”
“You keep saying that,” Scarlet replied. “That you could have protected me. How? She was intent on ruining you just to hurt me. Ruin her own son! All because she wanted control. We’re dealing with someone who has no boundaries or limits to how terrible she’s capable of being.”
Barrett sighed. He had nothing to say to that. Besides finding out he was a father, finding out about his mother’s dark past had been the most shocking revelation of all.
He’d always been aware his mother was cold. They’d never had a great relationship. He had very few memories of her from his childhood; she was constantly absent. Her children were just something else to put on the proverbial rich lady trophy shelf, nothing more.
But he’d never doubted she cared enough about him to at least want the best for him. Despite everything, she was his mother. Now he knew that deep down her connection to him was only about herself and her ruthless ambition.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m finding out so much, all at once. It’s a lot to take in.” He looked at Scarlet, who was still beautiful even with her hair slipping out of its messy bun, her eyes red from crying.
“I love you,” he said. “That’s the only thing I can stand on right now.”
Scarlet fell into his arms. As much as she wanted it to be enough, she knew it wasn’t. Not with someone like Patricia Evers.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Arista Holmes had made peace with the fact that Barrett Evers would not be attainable. Not from her own lack of charm; she felt confident in her sex appeal and her bedroom skills. But what good were they when he was clearly already in love with someone else? Arista had tried to win that game before. It never worked out.
Some men were just hopeless. And it was always the uninteresting girls they were hopeless for.
