by Loomis, Lisa
Casanova Cowboy
Lisa Loomis
For Dennis, who has proven to me that true love exists.
In memory of my mom,who pointed me in the right direction, always.
Casanova Cowboy
Lisa Loomis
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, and/or incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.
Copyright 2012 by the author of this book (Lisa Loomis). The book author retains sole copyright to her contributions to this book.
July 2013 Edition
ISBN Number 978-1475047516
Cover design by Lisa Loomis and Brandie Lamprou (EMarketID)
Photo by Todd Hicken, Impact Photography
www.LisaLoomisBooks.com
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Chapter 1
I met Max when I was eighteen, and we had been dating for almost three years. It was the blond surfer look that attracted me; just my type, and the blue eyes cinched it. He was a his-way-or-no-way type of guy. Our first date was a baseball game with his guy friends. I hate baseball, but I didn’t tell him that. Our second date was a Sunday at his house watching football—seven hours of it. Why I didn’t move on then, I will never understand. The only thing I can think of was he was the first boy who actually pursued me, and pretty hard. He quickly claimed me as his girlfriend and introduced himself as my boyfriend. I was convinced this was what love looked like.
I think it was the concussion that finally knocked some sense into me as my whole life started changing after the accident. That morning I had caught Max in another lie about where he was and who he was with. So I took his Chevy Blazer to go to a wedding reception with two other male friends—after he specifically told me not to drive it. Randy liked me and I knew it. Max knew it too, so I told Randy I could give him a ride. Tom, on the other hand, just needed a way to get there. I tried to talk Liz, one of my best girlfriends, into rebelling with me, but she already had plans, although she found it quite funny that I would defy Max, as I rarely did. Unfortunately, it would take more than the accident for me to make the final break.
The wedding reception was in Valley Center up the hill from Escondido and took me back to that fateful year when my father moved us when I was a teenager to Escondido, just north of San Diego. I had been horrified. Escondido had reminded me of one of those towns you fly by on a freeway going somewhere else while wondering who in the hell would live there. It had seemed so slow and backwards compared to San Jose. Even the kids my age were more conservative, which in hindsight was probably a good thing. It took me a long time to warm up to it, but I finally did. What choice did I have really?
Valley Center, sort of a charming Hicksville with some funky restaurants and bars, had helped bring me to terms with the move. There was this place called Fat Ivor’s with ribs to die for, and Dad and I would drive there in his sports car and have lunch—one of the rare times my dad and I were alone together because he traveled so much. As I drove, I smiled to myself, remembering that Dad liked the top down, and he liked to go fast. The wind would pull at my long, curly hair and wrap it around my eyelashes. I would have to fight to keep it out of my face.
The boys and I finally got to the reception which was being held in one of those boring halls with no personality, although it had been decorated inside with ribbons and bows in an attempt to make it look festive. But who ever noticed a building once a party got going?
“Sort of festive I guess,” I’d said to Randy as we’d entered.
“Add booze and music,” he said. “Makes any room look good.”
A band played in one of the corners; Randy told me he knew the drummer. Freely flowing alcohol, people dancing and partying made for a great time, and Randy and I sure were having a good time dancing together. Unlike Max, he liked to dance, even slow dances, and the way he held me made me feel sexy; how he was holding me now. I was nervous this would get back to Max, but as the evening progressed I no longer cared, and I stayed longer than I had planned.
“You don’t have to hurry home, Morgan. You know Max will be pissed off no matter how late you are. Does he know you were giving me a ride?” Randy asked.
“Hell no, he doesn’t even know about the reception,” I answered. “I didn’t tell him anything about what I was doing.”
I didn’t want to mention to Randy that I took the car without permission.
“We both have other circles of friends. You know, the ones before Morgan and Max, before the two of us were considered a couple,” I reasoned.
He dipped me and pulled me up. I could tell he thought my comment was odd.
“What’s going on with you two?” he asked as he drew me closer to him.
Randy had his arms draped around my shoulders, his fingers lightly caressing my neck. I was attracted to him all right. It wasn’t his looks that kept me away from him at all. Tall and blond with sexy eyes, he had been a basketball player in school and had a body to match his good looks. When he pulled me closer to him, I could feel my body tingle, a sensation that frightened and excited me. He didn’t like Max much; I knew that. I was pretty certain he wouldn’t have any problem stealing me away if I was game. In my mind, I had a boyfriend, and until that was different, I didn’t think I should open any doors. I’d done that in the past with not pretty results.
“Who knows?” I answered. “He says he still wants to be together, but his actions don’t always say that. He told me the other night he was going out with the boys, and I find out through a friend of a friend that most of the guys brought their girlfriends. That there were a bunch of single girls there; several who I’m sure were hitting on him. Must be what he was looking for because he didn’t invite his girlfriend.”
I could feel the jealous feelings I’d felt rise up in me from that day. Made me mad all over again.
“He’s an ass. If you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t treat you that way,” Randy said suggestively.
I’d heard that line before from guys: “I would treat you better”. Sure you would, for a while. I let the conversation drop and followed Randy’s lead around the dance floor. We finally took a break and got another beer, and I thought again about heading home, but I didn’t want to go. And the recollection of Max leaving me out was still in my thoughts. I envisioned Max getting to his house and finding my car there and the Blazer missing. Back at you. He was going to be mad, and I planned not to go inside when I got back. I would swap cars and head home to my parents. Most of the time, when we weren’t fighting, I stayed at his place.
I was definitely enjoying the attention from Randy. He would touch me now and then just slightly, brush up against me, or pull me close, body-to-body, for a dance. He wasn’t telling me, he was showing me he was interested; he was giving me room to take it or not. He didn’t rush off alone and mingle, as Max would have. Instead, he stayed by my side and mingled. He made me feel pretty and wanted, made me question again my current relationship.
“You look really nice tonight,” he said.
I looked into his green eyes and my breath caught in my throat as we sat down in the chairs lining the wall. He ran his hand down my bare thigh. I didn’t answer. My attraction to him was getting into my head, and I didn’t want to encourage what was happening. I could feel the excitement inside me, like little butterflies flittering, that there could be a tipping point.
“That dress makes your eyes look really blue,” he said, moving in closer.
I could smell him, the manliness, and the smell of soap or cologne. I looked at his lips and then quickly looked away.
“Thanks,” I answered, blushing slightly.
I kept staring out
at the party versus looking at him. I was afraid if I looked at him he might see it in my eyes. See that I really wanted to kiss him; I could almost feel my lips on his. My thoughts jumped back to Max, back to the beginning when he said things like that. Things like how sexy he thought I was. How he’d fondly nicknamed me the long, lean, fucking machine, out of desire. Lately he seemed distracted, like he was half interested, and the things he said were more hurtful than kind.
“Somehow I picture your reception being in a more upscale place,” Randy said.
“My reception,” I chuckled. “That ain’t happening any time soon.”
I wondered if Randy thought that’s where Max and I were headed. Or was he testing me? Wanting me to give him an opening. I glanced at him quickly again. My heart pulsed in my throat and I forced my thoughts back down. More upscale, I knew why he said that. Max came from a wealthy family. Growing up, he had gotten most of what he wanted, would get what he wanted, upscale. Randy and I, on the other hand, were more middle class. Our parents had to scrape to give us a good life, and we understood we couldn’t have everything we wanted. That was it I realized. Max was acting like a spoiled child. Maybe I no longer gave him everything he wanted.
My thoughts were straying into an area I didn’t want to examine. Not now, not yet. I grabbed Randy’s hand instead when the band started playing “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones.
“Let’s dance,” I said smiling. “Give me some satisfaction.”
The band was prompting everyone to clap their hands together above their heads, by doing it themselves. In response there was a wave of arms reaching for the ceiling. A big group on the dance floor was shouting out “can’t get no, satisfaction” when the verse came up. There was energy in the room. My body responded to the music and the excitement, gyrating to the beat, and Randy gave me a sexy smile.
When the reception ended, the three of us jumped in Max’s Blazer and headed down the hill. I was buzzed, but I knew I could drive; I’d driven before when I’d felt this way. We had the radio up loud and all the windows down. My elevated mood was making me overly confident, and I took one of the curves too fast. I knew it when the Blazer fishtailed. I tried to correct it without over correcting, but I was fighting to get the car under control, focusing on the wheel, and slowing down.
I could feel the adrenaline racing through my body, my hands sweaty from tightly gripping the wheel. I was so absorbed in the immediate need to get the Blazer stable, that my vision was limited. The wheel, the road, stop fishtailing. I was concentrating so hard. The picture suddenly opened up just as I felt I was getting the Blazer under control, and everything went into slow motion when I saw the telephone pole looming large in the windshield.
In my struggle to regain control I never saw the telephone pole we were heading for until it was too late. The blood was racing through my veins, pounding in my head. I thought I had slowed the Blazer down enough, but the pole was coming, coming. I tried to turn the wheel just as we hit it head on. I remembered in my elated mood I hadn’t put on my seat belt. The crunch of metal and the breaking of glass filled my ears. I held on to the steering wheel, locking my arms, bracing myself, but I still was thrust forward violently, and then it was over. I didn’t move and suddenly couldn’t remember what had happened start to finish. I tried to put the first fishtail together with all the other details. The car was quiet and still.
“I need to get out of the car and see how bad it is,” I said softly to Randy.
I felt eerily calm.
“No, you don’t,” he said. “You stay right here.”
I slowly came to understand that my head was in his lap, and that I was lying almost parallel from the driver’s seat across the console into his seat. How had I gotten here? Why is he pushing at my head with his hands? I remembered going forward and now I was lying in his lap. I again tried to think through it and couldn’t.
“Are you okay?” I asked, attempting to twist and turn toward him.
“Morgan, stay still,” he said, adjusting his hands on my head.
I didn’t want to stay still; I needed to fix this. Why was Randy being so composed?
“You’re bleeding. Your eye, it’s bleeding,” I said.
It felt like the words were coming out in slow motion, as if I were in a dream. My head felt thick, my thoughts confused. I watched the blood ooze out of the cut above his eye, run down the side of his cheek, then drop from his chin onto my dress. I reached up slowly and tried to wipe it away, but he pulled his head back.
“It will be fine, just stay still,” he demanded. “I need you to quit moving.”
I didn’t understand his command.
“I want to get out and see the damage,” I repeated.
Even though I wanted to move, I didn’t try, and I wondered why. Then I heard the sirens. I lay still as Randy and I listened. As the sirens continued, I could tell they were getting closer and closer. I knew they must be coming for us. I closed my eyes. I wanted this not to be real. Take back time.
“Randy, we need to get out of here. The cops are coming,” I said softly.
I felt tired, and disoriented. I wanted to be back dancing, him holding me in his strong arms. “Can’t get no satisfaction,” echoed in my head.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Randy said adamantly.
Randy was a bit of a rebel, so I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t want to get out of here before they came.
“Is Tom okay?’ I asked.
“Tom’s gone. He booked it the minute we stopped,” Randy said.
I quit protesting and let my head rest in his lap. I opened and shut my eyes several times; it seemed like a long time that we sat like that. I heard vehicles stop, car doors open and shut, voices giving orders, and finally the sirens shut down. The flashing lights kept going though, and when they opened my door, they filled the car. I watched the red and white light dance off the dashboard; it was pretty in an odd way. I realized from the way the lights danced off the tiny pieces of glass that the windshield was shattered, but most of it was still in place. With the light I could now see two holes in the windshield where some pieces had broken away and fallen into the car.
“Get her first, her head is split open,” Randy said.
I tried to reach my hand back and feel my head, but he wouldn’t let me. I knew then why he was holding my head, wanted me still. Is that why my thoughts are so slow?
“Is her neck or back hurt?” the EMT asked as he leaned into the Blazer.
“I don’t know,” Randy said.
“Is Tom hurt too?” I asked, confused.
“Quit talking. Tom’s not with us. He’s okay,” Randy said.
The way he said it, I knew he didn’t want the cops to know Tom had been with us. My mind was foggy and floating, I recalled Tom’s face in the rearview mirror, panic in his eyes as we swerved. The EMT secured a neck brace around my neck with Velcro, and Randy helped them carefully slide me out of the car onto a board. Once I was outside, I had to squint my eyes. Those lights are so fucking bright. I tried to turn my head, but couldn’t. The brace, it must be the brace so I shut my eyes. I could feel the EMTs jostle the stretcher around slightly as they loaded me into the ambulance.
“Don’t let her go to sleep,” I heard one of the EMTs say.
“Sweetie, open your eyes,” another instructed.
I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling of the ambulance. A young man’s face came into view, and he undid the neck brace and started examining my neck. His eyes were narrowed in concern, his lips tense. His complexion was smooth and he was sort of cute. They gave me repeated instructions on things to move: my feet, my legs, my arms. All I wanted to do was go to sleep now, I felt so tired.
“Where’s Randy?” I asked. “He’s bleeding.”
“He’s coming too,” replied the female EMT.
She smelled like fresh soap, not like antiseptic, and I found that comforting, like a mom rather than an EMT. The ambulance dipped as Randy climbed in and sat dow
n on the bench across from me. The lower half of his shirt and the crotch of his jeans were dark and wet. He was covered in blood. How had he gotten so much blood on him? I could feel the fear now, slowly rising. His eye hadn’t bled that much? Wasn’t his blood on my dress?
“Randy, you’re really hurt,” I said worried, my voice sounding to me as if I were underwater, garbled.
“No, you’re the one who’s hurt,” he said.
I looked into his eyes and could see the concern.
“Sir, you need to lay down,” the other EMT said to him.
He lay down as instructed never breaking his gaze. He looked so handsome in the partial light. His blond wavy hair spread out on the bench. I wondered why I was afraid to explore him as an option other than Max. Why I kept my current relationship going. The EMT dabbed at the cut above his eye, cleaning off the blood, and still he looked at me. They rolled me onto my side, facing him and it felt like they were poking inside the back of my head. Big jolts of pain shot through it over and over.
“We’re going to have to cut off your pants,” the male attendant said to Randy.
The sirens started back up as the ambulance pulled away from the scene. I watched as the EMT took a pair of scissors out. I wondered what Randy looked like with no pants on. The EMT lifted his right leg by his pants.
“I’m telling you it’s her blood, not mine,” Randy said, annoyed. “Just fix the cut above my eye, that’s the only thing wrong with me.”
“Can’t take that chance, you have a lot of blood in this region,” he said, his hand circling Randy’s crotch. “We have to be sure you don’t have another injury.”
“I can tell you I don’t, but go for it,” Randy said frustrated.
Only then did he look away. I shut my eyes again. I heard the sound of them cutting his jeans, the tear of the scissors going through the tough fabric. I remembered Mom telling me once to always wear clean underwear because you never knew when you might be in an accident. “That dress makes your eyes look really blue” I heard Randy say. I hoped my dress was pulled down, covering me, even if I did have on clean underwear. The siren went on and on as I was jostled around on the ambulance bed; it was making my head hurt even more. The shooting pains were now joined, by a pounding, a terrible throbbing.
