I gritted my teeth and nodded at him. He took that as a sign to leave. I never thought I would be taking in this image of my son in this state. He looked pale and with no light on his face. I pulled up a chair as quietly as I could and gripped his hand in mine. I rubbed my fingers over his, silently praying for him to wake-up. My tears began to fall, and I got as close as his wires would allow me to.
Please God. Please. Don’t take him from me. I won’t survive it.
I kissed his forehead and made my way to Dr. Briggs’ office. Reese was waiting for me there in his waiting room. I immediately noticed Richard’s absence. Where could he be? I wondered.
“Where are Richard and Riley?” I asked Reese.
“I sent them out to get some air. Riley was so upset to the point of getting sick. After our conversation, she could take no more. How’s Jackson? Do we know anything else?”
“He’s still unconscious. His blood pressure was very high when he was brought in. He’s stable now, but I would feel a whole hell of lot better once he wakes up. So, what did you find out?”
“Come sit with me. It’s quite the story. I will give you the short version until we can talk as a family. They didn’t officially get married, but the marriage license is real.”
“I don’t understand this at all. Why would they do this? To keep something so important from us is beyond anything I ever had to deal with when it comes to Jackson. Reese, do you even know what this could have meant if they had gotten married? It would have meant that Riley would now legally be his medical advocate and could make decisions on his behalf. Of course, I would fight it, but the law is the law.”
I continued, throwing my hands in the air, “What the hell were they even thinking? My son lied to me, not only about this reckless decision, but also about his health. He deceived Liam, and withheld the real reason to why he needed his medical file. To top it off, he was seeking medical advice from your ex-husband. That man hates me and my son. My son reached out to him for help. My son! What the hell? I am so angry right now, I can’t even see straight.”
Riley and Richard came into the waiting room shortly after. She nearly dropped the tray of drinks she was carrying after seeing me. Clearly, she heard my rant. Richard took the tray from her, and she made her way over to her mother and me.
“Mr. Reed!” Nearly knocking me over, Riley lunged herself into my arms. “How’s Jackson? Can I see him now?”
“I’m afraid not, sweetheart. He’s still unconscious.”
“Please, Mr. Reed, I need to see him. I will be quiet as a church mouse. I just need to be near him.”
“Riley, he knows you’re here. Come sit down and talk with me, please?”
“Mr. Reed, I already know what you are going to ask me. I told mother everything. Now, I have to see Jackson.”
“You will sit down, young lady, and talk with us,” Reese said to her daughter. “I will not say it twice.”
Always the reserved one, Reese had found her voice, surprising us both. Riley took her seat again and wrung out her hands in her lap. She was beside herself. We all were.
AS I SAT there in my father’s waiting room, all eyes were on me. Mr. Reed was angry. My mother was worried. Richard looked defeated, and my father’s assistant just shook her head at me. If I had the gift of reading minds, she was probably judging me on my adolescent behavior. Jackson was right. I didn’t try very hard with my father today. I actually made matters worse by arguing with him.
If I would have stuck to our original plan and just allowed Jackson to speak, the situation we were now facing could have been avoided. My mother would argue that conclusion with me. She would always tell me that there are no absolutes in this world. Life is unpredictable like the stormy seas. You can have sunshine one minute and then the next a damaging Tsunami wave could wreak havoc and change your life in an instant.
I could never be accused of being too over melodramatic, but this was how I felt. Mr. Reed was my Tsunami, and I was about to take him on. I calmed myself the best I could and watched him sit beside me.
“RILEY, WHY THE marriage license? Were you and Jackson seriously planning on getting married? And without our knowledge?”
“It was my idea, Mr. Reed. He tried to talk me out of it, but I convinced him that we could marry, and then just simply tell you and mom when we returned to California.”
“Simply tell us? Riley, are you out of your mind? What the hell were you and my son thinking? And, might I add, how could you think that I would ever be okay with this?”
I knew my tone was louder than I wanted it to be, but after her revelation, how could it not? Of course, the voice of reason stepped in.
“Walker. Let’s take a minute to calm,” Reese said, placing her hand on mine.
“This is calm. I want an answer to my question. Riley?”
Taking me by the elbow, Reese whispered quietly in my ear, finishing me off with a soft kiss to my neck. I let out my breath and gave her the look she needed to see. My eyes promised her that I would not lose my temper with Riley. She was Reese’s daughter, but also the love of my son’s life, who was so young and innocent. As angry as I am, I held back. I gave Riley a minute to calm down. I needed to hear it all, no matter what it cost me.
“Please, Riley, start from the beginning.”
I held on to Reese’s hand as if my life depended on it. Every once in a while, she would stroke me gently with her fingers to keep me steady.
“Mr. Reed, all I know is that when we arrived in New York, Jackson was experiencing some headaches. I discovered that he only had four pills left in a thirty pill prescription. I’m sorry Mr. Reed, but he lied to you, and to me. He had taken nearly the entire bottle within a week.”
How could my son go through this and not tell me?”
NOW IT WAS Mr. Reed’s turn to hold his head. He got up and paced my father’s waiting room for a minute or two until he faced me again. I was expecting to be hit with many questions, but all he asked me to do was to continue with my explanation. I did with no hesitation.
“Jackson caught me with his pills and grabbed them away from me, once again scaring me. We argued. He completely shut down on me. I threatened to call you if he didn’t tell me what was going on. He still stood there in silence and called my bluff. I was angry with him, and that’s when I walked out of the room. I only made it as far as the bedroom where he found me. I was beside myself at that moment. I wasn’t really going to call you, but I needed for him to start talking to me.”
“He apologized. I cried. And then he held me in his arms. He finally told me that he had been experiencing headaches for a while now. He didn’t want to worry you, Mr. Reed, not when you and mom were so happy. He thought that if he could side step Dr. O’Larien and seek out my father, you would never know. He told me that he didn’t trust Dr. O’Larien to keep his confidence.”
“Is this why you planned the ruse of deceiving Richard?”
“I wouldn’t use the word deceive, that word sounds so much worse than it really was.”
“Riley, no matter which way you spin it, you and Jackson both lied, and your lies have cost him his health. I should have been called immediately once you discovered he was having headaches.”
“Mr. Reed, I couldn’t do that, and I should hope you would understand why. He’s my boyfriend, and I couldn’t betray him like that.”
“No, Riley, I guess you couldn’t. But you could pretend to threaten him and use me as a way to get him to talk to you, right? Does that sound fair to me and your mother? As his father, I had a right to know. Answer another question for me, where does getting married fit into all of this?”
“We knew marriage was going to be in our future, so I asked him to marry me. I didn’t see why we had to wait. It would be a way to break free of the hold you have on him.”
“My what!? What did you just say?”
GAUGING FROM MR. REED’S reaction, I knew I crossed a line. He wanted the truth, but I could have held back. The words just
fell right from my mouth without any power to stop it.
I had never seen him so angry. I began to shake. My mother immediately tried to coax him out of the room, but he would not follow. His cold eyes bored into mine. Jackson was spot on about his father’s reaction. I prayed that his bark was worse than his bite, but it was way worse. He broke away from my mother and stepped right up to me.
“My what?” he demanded again.
His jaw muscles were pulsating, clearly visible through his skin. I wanted to run straight into Jackson’s arms, but he could not help me now. I was the one that was taking the verbal tongue lashing from his father. I tried to be strong and understand he was scared for his son. Mr. Reed had been nothing short of amazing to me. I should have listened to Jackson when he changed his mind. I pushed him, and because he loves me so much, he allowed me to do it. Mr. Reed raged on and directed all of his anger toward me. How much longer would this go on? The room was silent and filled with cold tension. He turned around and directly faced me now.
“Jackson is my son. I will always be a presence in his life. It doesn’t matter how old he is, or who he is in love with. Don’t you ever forget that. I resent it to hell that you are trying to come between us. He and I are connected for life. You had no right to persuade him to follow through with this ridiculous act of irresponsibility. You were right the first time. You should have followed through with the threat of calling me the minute you discovered he was sick. To make matters worse, you convinced him to marry you? You are both only eighteen years old! What a grand plan to break free from me, his father. Let me remind you of one simple fact…”
His words were chilling. Goosebumps lined my skin, and not the good kind.
“Over my dead, cold body that will ever happen! Do you understand me? Is that clear enough for your young, eighteen year old mind to understand? Or do I need to explain it in a simpler manner?”
Mr. Reed remained standing in front of me, never once blinking his eyes. All I could do was let my tears fall as my body trembled in fear. I thought I was going to wet my pants.
“Walker!” mom shouted. He ignored her completely. He was still staring me down. I was frozen and could not move.
“Walker!” her voice now louder. My mother was about to take on Mr. Reed in my defense.
“What!” He finally broke his stare and shouted back his response. When his eyes found hers, he softened, but my mother didn’t. The battle lines had been clearly drawn out in the sand between the two of them, and it was my fault.
“I need to speak with you outside…now.” She slowly enunciated every word and walked out.
As Mr. Reed turned away from me and followed my mother out of the room, I collapsed back onto the sofa. My tears fell and fell hard. All Richard could do was offer me a box of Kleenex, and Gretchen gave me water.
I had to pull myself together and take a few minutes for myself. I walked into my father’s private office, locking it behind me. I was safe in here from the wrath of Mr. Reed. Sliding down his door with my arms wrapped around my knees, I cried and prayed to anyone that would hear me. Please, God, take care of Jackson.
BREATHE, JUST BREATHE. He’s out of his mind right now with worry, and not thinking clearly. Walker would never hurt my daughter, he’s just sick with worry over his son. I know I have seen many sides to Walker Reed, but his actions today with Riley is something new and definitely not welcomed by me.
“Reese, I—”
“Stop!” I scream, as I put both my hands up to him. “It is my turn to talk now! And you will damn well listen to me. What were you thinking speaking to Riley that way? She is my daughter! And she is scared to death. Your actions are not helping any of us, especially Jackson who needs you the most right now.”
HER WORDS GUTTED me. Those were the same ones that Elizabeth had said to me.
“Are you going to stand there in silence? Or are you going to acknowledge what I just said? Aren’t you the one always accusing me of shutting down? When can we get off this merry go around? I need you to talk with me and not lash out on any of us, especially my daughter.”
I found the nearest chair and sat down before my legs gave out. Fighting with Reese is the last thing I want to be doing now, but she’s angry…so angry with me.
“REESE, PLEASE SIT down. I know you’re angry, but you getting upset like this cannot be good for the baby. Please…if not for me, then for our daughter?”
“What about my other daughter, Walker?” I asked him. “Doesn’t Riley count too? She loves Jackson so much. She would never do anything to hurt him. What do expect from them? They are young and in love. When you love someone, you protect them at all costs. You keep their secrets without ever questioning as to why. You do whatever it takes to shelter them from any kind of pain or disappointment. Does that sound familiar to you? She is behaving no differently than how I was all those years ago with you. All I did was in the name of love for you and my family. In the moment, you see no other way out. All you want is to protect the one that you love. You sacrifice your own heart and happiness for the other.”
I continued, “Riley is a dreamer. She leads with her heart. She sometimes acts before she thinks, but that’s not for you to judge. Jackson is the one that has chosen to love all parts of her, including her spontaneity and zest for life. Those two young adults are exactly how we were. I know we joke about it, but they are, Walker, through and through. Don’t you see it? The difference is that they will not repeat our mistakes. They will stick it out no matter what challenges life presents to them.
Say something, Walker. Give me a sign that you heard what I said.”
“Only if you sit and get off your feet. I see the exhaustion on your face, Reese, please.”
“I’m fine, Walker. Going round and round with you only fuels my energy, it doesn’t exhaust me. Please don’t shut me out. I’m sorry for coming down so hard on you, but you have to see what is happening here. I know you are upset over Jackson, but lashing out on those around you will not help anyone, especially your son.”
I said all I could at the moment. I wasn’t angry with him, I was just as worried. I pushed him far enough. I saw the pain in his eyes, as he stared at me. It was time to give him comfort and reassurance. He wore many masks to hide his emotions and to keep me at bay, I knew this.
I got up from my seat, and his eyes followed me, but not for long. I sat on his inviting lap and held my love close to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tighter against him. He was breaking my heart with his sadness. I ran my fingers through his hair and sheltered him the best way I knew how.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said to me. “Please forgive me. Don’t leave me when I need you to breathe.”
He needs me? Oh my goodness! If he only knew how much I needed him as well. Leaving Walker now would just destroy me. It would be like living in a constant state of darkness with no light on the horizon. This was his fear talking for him, and he was reaching out for anything to hold onto.
“I love you, Walker Reed. You have my heart…forever. Now stop this right now and look at me.”
I cupped his beautiful face and kissed his lips, closing my eyes and letting his love wash over me. His strong arms caressed up and down my back. His tension slowly eased with each touch he placed on me.
“I love you, Reese. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’m sorry for my behavior back there. I just feel so fucking betrayed and hurt by Jackson. He lied to me, Reese, and it’s been going on for I don’t know how long. He can potentially have something seriously wrong with him, and he just shuts me out? How could he do this? This is what I can’t come to terms with. Please, Reese, help me understand.”
“Oh baby, I wish I could, but the only person that can answer these questions is Jackson himself. When he wakes, you can ask him, but, baby, you need to give him the time to tell you. Trust him to tell you the truth. It’s there, believe me. Give him time to explain his reasons to you. The way you handle hearing those reasons will make th
e world of difference for the both of you.”
No more words were needed to be spoken. Holding him in my arms was all I needed.
“Excuse me, Mr. Reed?” the nurse said as she came up to us.
Walker remained where he was. He didn’t move and didn’t talk. I nudged him, but his arms remained around my waist. I greeted the nurse. I could feel Walker’s heart rapidly beating against my chest while I talked for him.
“I’m Francesca, Dr. Briggs’ O.R. nurse. Dr. Briggs is still in Radiology but asked me to come find you. Your son has completely awakened now and knows you’re here. You can visit with him now, and Dr. Briggs will be up here shortly.”
Walker just remained silent, while I thanked Francesca for the update on Jackson. He didn’t let go of me, so I tried again to nudge him to move.
“Walker, go see your son. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”
“I can’t. I’m not ready. What if I lose my temper in there? I can’t do that, Reese.”
“Listen to me. You will not lose your temper. You love that boy with every fiber of your being. You are an amazing father and would never hurt him. You need to listen to Jackson, no matter how much it hurts you. You need to move beyond what you think is betrayal. Once you truly understand his reasons, I know you will feel differently. I can join you if you wish, but I think you should go in on your own.”
Walker looked at me for what felt like a minute without speaking. Then he said, “How do you do it, Reese?”
“Do what?”
“Look beyond all my flaws.”
“It’s because I love you, remember? I love all parts of you. Wasn’t that our agreement?”
“It is and so much more. Thank you, Reese.”
I was going to say something more, but then Walker knelt down in front of me and held his cheek to my stomach.
“Princess, it’s your daddy. Forgive me for being an ass today. I love you, baby girl.”
Our Forever Promise Page 15
