Our Forever Promise

by Mary Wasowski

  Answering me through his tears, he says “Yes, I do, dad. We are always a team.”

  “Good. Don’t ever forget it. With your sister on the way, we are outnumbered with the women in our life, so stick it out with me, okay?”

  “Okay. I love you, dad. I will never keep anything from you again, I promise.

  “I love you more,” I whispered, holding him once more and thanking God I still had him with me.

  I think we both felt the weight of the world slowly fall off our shoulders. He should have never had to carry this burden on his own. I’m here now, and I meant everything I promised. We will get through this together.

  “Dad, please don’t be angry with Riley. She didn’t know. When I told her, it was only a few days ago. She’s pretty torn up that you don’t like her anymore.”

  “Jackson, I was angry and I lost my temper, but how can I not love her? She’s Reese’s daughter, and the love of your life. I was just taken by surprise. When I found out about the marriage license, I just lost it. Son, I’m not going to sit here and lecture you about being young and question your feelings for Riley. You’re in love, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. But to make a decision to marry Riley now was just plain reckless. You have to look at all sides and what it would have meant, especially when it comes down to your health.”

  “My health?”

  “Yes, your health. Legally, Riley would have been your next of kin, because in the eyes of the law, she was now your wife. She could speak on your behalf and become your medical advocate. If anything would have happened to you, and you were not able to make a conscious medical decision, that responsibility would have fallen upon Riley. This is what I meant about being reckless. Does she even know everything about your medical past? Judging by your silence and the way you are looking at me, I will take that as a no. We all need to have a long discussion about this, but right now you need your rest. I need to check on Reese. She wasn’t feeling well before.”

  “Dad, I’m not finished talking yet. Can you answer a few more questions, please?”

  I let out a long extended breath, and braced myself for what was next. “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

  “If Dr. Briggs agrees to perform my surgery, will you fight against my decision? You were uncharacteristically quiet throughout his entire explanation, and it was kind of freaking me out. I have never seen you so calm and reserved. Do you dislike him so much that you wouldn’t want him to help me?”

  “Jackson, my history with Dr. Briggs is complicated, as you well know. He’s too close to the situation, and he still holds a strong personal grudge against me. I know he is probably the best in his field, but knowing all that, I am not convinced that he can so easily put his personal feelings aside. You are the patient, obviously, but I am the man his wife left him for, and you look just like me. Okay, there’s more to it than that, but it pretty much sums it up. I can’t take the risk. I’m sorry, Jackson, but yes, I will have a problem with your choice. Dr. O’Larien is more than qualified to handle your surgery.”

  “What if Dr. O’Larien assists? Will that change your mind?”

  “Why are you championing Dr. Briggs? Is this because of Riley?”

  “No, of course not. I want the best, and a Reed only gets the best. For me, my choice is Dr. Briggs. If I am truly to beat this ticking time bomb in my brain, then it’s him. I will not settle for second choice. I have choices where mother didn’t. I feel this is the best option for me, dad. You said you would respect my choices, so now here’s your chance to prove it.”

  “You sure are a Reed, but I can’t decide if you are me or sounding more like your grandfather at the moment. Jackson, let me be clear. Do not mistake my moment of grief and worry for weakness. I will not be topped. Respect goes both ways. When I received Riley’s call about you being here, I thought my heart stopped beating. I was back to a very dark place in my life, and it scared the shit out of me. Until you are a parent, you truly will not be able to understand how I felt seeing you here, and in this hospital bed. It is an image I will not soon forget, if ever. Please give me time to process all of this and allow me to speak with Dr. O’Larien. Together, we will come up with an answer, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Good. It’s late, and you need your rest. Please close your eyes, and get some sleep. I love you, son. I won’t be far away.”

  “I love you too, and I didn’t think you would.”

  “Smart ass.”

  In light of all that happened here today, my son still managed to make me smile. As I exited his room, I looked to the chapel and considered going back in. They say prayers are always welcomed and you can never have enough. I would scream from the tallest buildings if I knew they would be answered. I had to trust the medical science of it all and have faith that my son would be okay. No room for doubts here, just positive affirmations to get him through this. I had never broken a promise to my son, and I would not start today.

  I guess the hardest part of this entire mindfuck of a situation was that I knew deep down that Briggs was the best. Can he truly put aside his feelings for me and focus solely on my son as his patient? No matter what had happened between us all, even Reese still championed his surgical skills. He was a well-renowned doctor, an innovator in his field. Patients came from all over the world to seek his help when all others have failed.

  Can I do it? Can I actually ask Samuel Briggs for help to save my son? I heard the words in my head, but to say them out loud would be like swallowing gasoline. He hated me. Knowing his feelings toward me didn’t give me the assurance I needed to make this decision.

  I was exhausted and desperate to be with Reese, but I needed to do something first. I quietly walked back into Jackson’s room just wanting to take one last look before I left, and that’s when I heard him praying and talking with his mother. I stepped out before he knew I was there. I had my answer and knew where I was headed next. Please let this be the right thing.

  I HELD MY head in my hands in my semi-darkened office. Surrounding me were AVM case files covering my usually meticulous, custom Italian made desk. I was not used to disarray of any kind. It was abhorrent to me.

  When I woke up this morning, I played out in my mind how the day would go: I would reconcile my differences with my daughter and once we were able to talk maturely, all would be righted between us. But I never imagined the turn of events that actually happened.

  “How did today happen?” I asked myself, not realizing I spoke the words out loud.

  “I’ll tell you what happened. The golden apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He’s here, and expecting you to fix him, which is exactly what you will do.” Dr. Christopher McGovern said, as he popped his head into my office unannounced, enunciating each word he spoke.

  Clearly agitated with his intrusion, I was not in the mood to go round and round with him tonight, but of course McGovern never took the hint.

  “Not now, Christopher. On top of everything else I have going on, I will not engage you right now. I am inundated with papers here that I need to research.”

  He sat down and was about to put his feet on my desk. With the death glare I shot at him, he decided against it.

  “That research could wait,” he said. “We need to have a talk about Jackson Reed and the treatment plan you have in place for him. So what’s the answer?”

  “There is no answer, because there is no treatment plan for him, at least not by me. His doctor, Liam O’Larien, will arrive tomorrow morning at seven. I will turn over my findings to him, and I will be effectively removing myself from this case.”

  “The hell you will.”

  “Excuse me? You don’t get to decide what cases I take on.”

  “Yes I do, especially when it comes to this one. As far as me and this hospital are concerned, you are his doctor now. If your patient wants this surgery, then you, Dr. Briggs, will perform it. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Fuck you. Do I make myself clear? Who the hell do you think yo
u are, speaking to me like that, Christopher? You barge in to my private office and make unrealistic demands of me. If I operate on this boy, it presents a major conflict of interest. And what about the ethics code?”

  “That’s a load of bullshit, and you know it. No code is being violated here. You just have a rod up your ass, because you are making it personal and using that to say no. You can’t do that Samuel. Be the damn professional I know you to be, and do this surgery.”

  Running my hands through my usually perfectly in place hair, I sighed in frustration. “I just can’t do it, Christopher. It has to be someone else. What if…”

  “You’re fucking with me now, right? You, Dr. Samuel Briggs, are actually doubting yourself? As long as I draw breath, I never thought I would hear those words come from your mouth.”

  “I didn’t say anything, Dr. Exaggeration. You did. I’m too close to the players that are involved in this case. He is in love with my daughter…. my daughter, Christopher! Right there is conflict of interest number one. My ex-wife is pregnant and marrying his father. Right there, conflict number two. Do you even know how this feels for me? Or are you too busy suckling on the power teat of the millions of dollars that Walker Reed donates to this hospital? Fuck! You don’t know shit, and you certainly don’t care how it affects me. Get out of my office before I throw you out!”

  I pushed away from my desk and went over to my cabinet where the hidden bar was kept.

  “What are you so worried about?” Dr. McGovern asked me. “AVM’s to you are like tinker toys for mechanics. You can operate on them in your sleep. You’ve got this. Hell, these papers you have strewn all over your desk here, half of them were written and published by you. What are you searching for that you don’t already know? Do what’s best for your patient, and fix him. He wants the best…You are the best.”

  “Stroking my ego is not what I need right now.” I sighed at the fact that I had to explain myself to my friend. “Christopher, you just don’t understand. And my friend, you are too obstinate to even try.”

  Swallowing my drink with one fast gulp, I sat back down into my chair, feeling defeated.

  “I understand more than you know, Samuel. You have this boulder sized chip on your shoulder that you can’t seem to knock off. It’s weighing you down, layer by layer, and if you don’t cut it the fuck loose and let it go, it will bury and consume you. I’m afraid it already has. I’m not your boss right now. I’m your friend, and I’m asking you to let her go. Find yourself again. He’s in there somewhere, and I miss my friend. You got a raw deal. We both know it, but you are better off now in the grand scheme of it all. What is the saying, how does it go? ‘It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved…?’ Well my friend, screw that! I’ll take being loved by the right person that loves and accepts me whole, and not just a part or two. Take all of me, or none of me. If I can’t have that, then love can take a hike, because I deserve better. You my friend, deserve better.”

  “Christopher, are we still talking about me, or did we shift this conversation to you?”

  “Fuck you. We are talking about you, and the pile of shit that you are carrying around. You dare call me obstinate? Hell, you invented that trait, not me. If you want to talk about my story, then I think we need to find an open bar that has no closing time.”

  “You know, McGovern, just when I thought I knew everything about you, you actually show me your human side. It’s quite the revelation, if you ask me.”

  “Well, Briggs, I didn’t ask, so shut the hell up. Don’t go and blow sunshine up my ass. I do that enough for the both of us, and sadly, I do it well. Taking over as the hospital’s lead on the board, I never thought it would be this way.”

  “Then give it up. Concentrate on being a surgeon again, if that is your true passion. Don’t you ever grow tired of wining and dining the power players that fund your ambition?”

  “Let’s not forget, Samuel, the power players fund yours as well. Don’t forget who paid for this wing. The King may have turned down our expansion proposal, but that didn’t stop him from donating another two million for your…ambition. Excuse me, I meant to say, research.”

  “He did what?”

  “You heard me, don’t act so shocked. You all want the fruits of my labor, but balk at me on how I get it. Your gifted hands—your skill,—can only do so much. You still need the funding and equipment to make the miracles happen. Move on with your life, man. Let her go. Do the surgery.”

  Absorbed in our conversation, we didn’t hear his subtle cough to get our attention. We both looked up at the same time to see Walker Reed standing on the threshold of my office. I remained where I was, while McGovern practically leaped out of his chair to bow down to his feet.

  “Come in, Mr. Reed. We didn’t see you standing there,” Christopher said.

  “Clearly,” Reed said. His tone was clipped and by the look on his face. He wasn’t in the mood to have his ass kissed right now. For the first time, I actually could relate to him. I didn’t want to have the conversation I just went through either, but Christopher insisted.

  “Dr. McGovern, if you don’t mind, I would like a word with Dr. Briggs,” he said as he fully walked into my office and moved closer to my desk.

  “Of course, Mr. Reed. I’ll speak with you in the morning. You have my numbers if you need anything. Good night, Briggs.”

  Raising my hands up to Reed, I knew what he was thinking. “Yeah, he’s pretty much a weasel, but the guy has his moments,” I said. “What is it, Reed? To what do I owe the honor of a once again unannounced visit?”

  “May I sit?”

  “Is that a serious question? Are you actually asking my permission to sit in my office? Has hell frozen over?”

  “Look, Briggs, stop being a dick. I’m trying here. Are we really going to keep doing this? Or can we have a real conversation?”

  “Have a seat. Scotch or Bourbon? I have a feeling you might need a drink.”

  “Bourbon, please.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “What isn’t on my mind? I know you hate me and blame me for everything that ever went wrong in your marriage to Reese, but why I’m here has nothing to do with that at all. This is about my son, and I’m asking you—no begging you—to save him.”

  “Reed, what Jackson has is not life threatening.”

  “Today it’s not, but you know it can be, don’t you? Briggs, what happened to his mother can happen to him.”

  “Yes. Yes it can.”

  “Please Samuel, help him. I won’t stand in your way. You can have anything you want, just please save my son.”

  As I poured myself another shot of bourbon, I never expected to see this level of emotions coming from Walker Reed. The man behind the mask has let his armor fall down around him. He’s not the mogul who swims in his billions. He’s just a worried father that will sell his soul to the devil if he had to. I almost feel sorry for him.

  I replied, “A few months ago, had you asked me this same question, we probably would be having a different conversation here today.”

  “No, Briggs, I don’t think so. You are a doctor first. I know your patients matter, even the son of the bastard you hate matters to you. My boy is just eighteen years old and has a ticking bomb in his brain, not active now, but we have no guarantee when it will be set off. I can’t just sit back and do nothing. I can’t lose him like we lost his mother. I never knew back then, but I know now, and all my power and resources can’t do what you can. Please, Samuel, save him and give my son a chance at the life and future that was robbed from his mother.”

  “Is she happy, Reed?”

  Shaking his head at me, he questioned, “What?”

  “Is Reese happy? Really happy?”

  “Yes, she is. I can say that with my whole heart that we both are.”

  “When I first met her when she woke up in the hospital with me holding her hand, she was scared, but beyond beautiful even in her darkest time. Just looking at
her, my breath hitched and made my heart skip a beat. I nearly stumbled over my words when I had to be the one to deliver the devastating news to her. We couldn’t save her child. Believe me, Walker, I tried and I failed. He was just so small and not ready to be born. She suffered so much blood loss, I had thought for a second that I may have lost her as well. Your son was my first loss, and to this day, you never forget your first. Watching her sleep in a twilight bliss was calming to my unsteady nerves. I never felt that level of emotion with my patients before. She just captured me. I knew I had fallen in love with her. I helped her through her grief, pain, and loss. I convinced her to move on and take a chance with me. Reese was easy to love, and she healed me in some way that I never knew I needed. It’s a wonder our marriage lasted as long as it did.”

  I continued, and Walker listened. “She wanted children right away. I wanted to wait. My career was my life, and Reese was my most prized possession. She was right to call me out on treating her like a trophy wife, because that’s exactly what she was. I don’t know how my beginning feelings for her shifted into something else. She needed another baby to truly be happy again. I don’t think she got pregnant to replace or forget her loss, I think it was just a need to feel whole again. The day Riley was born, I thanked God for making me a father. I was holding a six pound miracle in my hands. I had never been happier in all of my life. Nothing in my life since that moment has even compared to witnessing her birth.”

  “Now here we are,” I said to Walker. “You get your second chance at fatherhood. You get your miracle with Reese. I look to my daughter whose eyes once held so much adoration for me, and now all I see is contempt. She loves your son and hates me. I think I need another drink.”

  “Briggs, I get it. I can see the hurt you are carrying with you, but I swear to you that your daughter does not hate you. She’s young and confused with her feelings, but hate is not one of them. The night I met Riley, she sang your praises. She put you on this pedestal of God-like status. She said you performed miracles, and that’s what you do.”