Our Forever Promise
Page 21
“Enough!” I screamed, slamming my both hands down to my desk. “This conversation has gone way off course, and it stops now. Francesca De Luca, you are hereby off my surgical service. I expect all my patient files returned to this office within the hour. Am I clear?”
“Yes sir,” she answered with no fight left in her voice, having been replaced with feeble cries.
I knew I had just shredded her. It didn’t sit well with me to hurt her, but I wasn’t a man to be challenged and pressured, especially when it came to my personal life. This was about work and work only. She was an amazing nurse when her head was in the game. I couldn’t have her flying off the handle in a lover’s quarrel because I couldn’t measure up to her timetable.
I gathered my files and didn’t look back at her as I exited my office. Passing Gretchen without a word spoken, I slammed out of my wing. Dammit!! This can’t be happening, not today. I have the biggest case of my life right now, and I need to focus all my attention on Jackson, nothing else. I’ve yet to meet with Dr. O’Larien, and no doubt Walker will arrive soon with Reese in tow.
I climbed the stair access to the roof. By the time I reached the top, I was out of breath. I needed to clear my head and all I kept coming back to was Francesca. I hate myself for how I had spoken to her, but the tigress certainly gave it back to me. She could fight, that’s for sure. She wasn’t entirely wrong. We did share a connection in London, but I never promised her anything in return, I thought she understood that. Everyone in my life seemed to want me to just forget the life I was leading a few months ago and just magically move on without a care in the world. Christopher to Francesca, and even Reese all think that. But how can I? How can I just let it all go and take a chance on love again?
I pulled my buzzing cell phone from my pocket and saw it was Gretchen phoning me.
“Dr. Briggs here.”
“Dr. Briggs, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I think we have a problem here.”
“What is it, Gretchen?”
“Ms. De Luca, she’s crying hysterically and hasn’t left your office yet. How shall I proceed?”
“Leave her be. I’m on my way.”
By the time I reached my office, Francesca was gone. I had her paged, and my calls went unanswered. I could spend no more time on this matter right now. I had to concentrate on my patient. He was my priority at the moment. Even dealing with Riley and her anger toward me would have to wait. I guess I can add it to the long list of grievances she feels about me.
As I tried to begin this day again, I left instructions with Gretchen. “Please try to locate Ms. De Luca for me. Once you do, send me a text, and I will take it from there.”
She gave me a raised eyebrow look, but held her tongue. I left without another word spoken.
I LEFT REESE asleep in bed while I took in a quick workout with Stephen, not that the past few hours of making love to Reese wasn’t a total body workout. I had to clear my head before seeing Jackson. After receiving updates from Liam, I called Jackson, and he assured me he was feeling better. He was with Riley and hadn’t seen Samuel yet. The two doctors would be conferring this morning to go over Jackson’s reports and come up with the best course of action for my son.
Asking Samuel Briggs for help was no easy task on my part. My pride meant everything to me. A man needs that, but I faced my struggles before, lord knows I had. I promised myself I would put aside my contemptuousness feelings for the doctor and put the needs of my son first.
I clocked four miles on the treadmill. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do for now. Quickly showering and dressing, I looked for Reese, who was now missing from our bed. She wasn’t in the sitting room either. Where is she? A panic suddenly washed over me. I hadn’t been gone that long. I ripped the blankets off the bed and searched for a note. I found nothing, only accelerating my heart rate even more.
“Stephen!” I called out.
“Sir.”
“Where the hell is Reese? I came back here to find the suite empty. Did she call you?”
“No sir, she didn’t, but Richard is also not present. I can only assume she is with him.”
“Never assume anything in my world, Stephen. Get him on the phone…now.”
“Right away, sir.”
Before Stephen could even dial, we heard the door to our suite open and close. My eyes dismissed Stephen and Richard. I only saw Reese. Rushing past Stephen like a linebacker, I made my way to Reese, who looked absolutely beautiful. Her cheeks were red and flushed. Carrying a bouquet of wild flowers, she sat them down on the table and began walking over to me. Unbeknownst to Reese that she nearly gave me a heart attack with her absence, I reined in my temper and took her in my opened arms. I didn’t let her know how scared I was when I couldn’t find her.
“Good morning, Walker…again. How was your workout?” she asked so innocently.
“It was fine. I’m more curious to know where you’ve been. Reese, where were you?” I tried to ask as calmly as I could manage.
“I went for a walk with Richard and then took a drive down to the outside market place where I picked up these flowers.” She gestured over to where she placed them on the table. “Not as beautiful as the ones we have in Georgia, but they come pretty close. I thought they could brighten Jackson’s room and his spirits.”
“That was very thoughtful of you, but Reese, you can’t just walk off without telling me. You left no note and never called me.” I let out a breath; that was the best I could do without losing my shit right now.
“Walker, I did leave you a note. It’s right on the nightstand table on your side of the bed. Even back home, that’s where I always leave my notes for you. I would have called you, but my cell phone battery died. Why are you worrying so much? I was perfectly safe with Richard.”
“Reese, your safety and well-being will always be a priority for me. Don’t you know that by now? I hate not knowing where you are. It rips through me and wounds me deeply.” There I said it. I revealed what scares me the most, and now Reese knows too. I can’t lose her again. I won’t survive it.
Reese looked at me with pure love in her eyes. No sadness, no pity, just love. Her arms tightened around me, and she kissed me on my neck.
“Come sit with me for a minute, please?” she asked.
I half-heartedly smiled as she led me to the couch, holding my hands in hers and bringing them up to her lips, where she placed soft kisses on them.
“Walker, talk to me,” she said. “Other than the obvious with Jackson, what’s going through your head right now?”
Her questions went unanswered until I had a chance to catch my breath. I got up and turned away from her. Grabbing onto the mantle of the fireplace, my knuckles were white from how tightly I was holding on.
I screamed, “I hate this! Why is this happening to us? We should all be in California right now, having the time of our lives, readying for our wedding. Instead, we are thousands of miles from home, and my son is in the hospital instead of preparing to leave for college.”
Reese’s arms wrapped around my waist. She pressed up against my back, waiting silently and patiently for me. I couldn’t ignore Reese; that was impossible. I was instantly comforted and turned around to hold her as close as my arms were able to.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I said. “It feels like that is all I’ve been saying to you lately.”
“That’s not true, and you know it. I’m here, Walker, and I’m yours always and forever. I promised you no more running. I will never leave you again.”
Her words poured over me, wrapping me up in her love.
“I love you so much, Reese. It scared the hell out of me. I find myself lost in the moments where I don’t know where you end, and I begin. You are my entire world. I can never be without you again. You have to promise me something.”
“Anything my love. My answer is ‘Yes’ to anything you need.”
Just a few simple words from Reese and my world felt right again.
“
No matter what is happening right now, please don’t let my pain over Jackson or my nightmares about my father push you away.”
“Impossible. We are in this together.”
“How come I feel so alone then?” I asked.
“Because you’re in a place again that you have no control over. The past is colliding with the present, and your fears that you have for me and for Jackson are consuming you. Walker, what happened to Elizabeth will not repeat with your son. And I will not lose this baby I’m carrying. You will not come home one day to find me gone with no promise of return. All I have to make you believe that is my love for you and for us.”
“You’re breaking me down piece by piece.”
“No, Walker, I’m not. I’m putting you back together, just like you did for me.”
“The day you left me, was a day a part of my heart just died. I feared I would never feel love flow through my heart again. It’s there, Reese, believe me it is. I’m deeply in love with you that I can only fear the unknown. And now with Jackson, it’s almost hard to breathe. Do you understand that? I never want to hurt you. And I fear that the demons that I am struggling with will do just that.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you,” she said. “We will get through this and come out stronger in the end.”
Her tears fell as she folded her arms around me. One lift and her legs were secured around my waist. No more words needed to be spoken between us. She took control as I easily allowed her to do so. My body totally submitted to her. We craved each other and shared the same addiction and carnal desires. I made sweet love to her, sealing my body with hers. Reese’s love was my salvation and cure for my brokenness. The pieces were put back together again the day she walked back into my life.
The short car ride to the hospital was met with silence—not a bad kind, but peaceful. I held Reese’s hand the entire time while she rested her head against my shoulders. We talked through so many issues that were weighing me down, and now that I shared my deepest fears with her, I felt lighter. I knew that sounded crazy with what we were all facing today, but I just did.
“Are you okay, Walker?” she asked me with hope in her eyes.
“Yeah, baby, surprisingly I am. I love you, Reese, and I’m never going to stop telling or showing you. There’s something I need to tell you before we go see Jackson.”
“Okay. Has something happened since you received your last update?”
“No, nothing like that. Jackson is fine and resting comfortably. Before I left the hospital last night, I went to talk with Samuel, and before you ask, we didn’t argue. He was talking with Dr. McGovern when I got there.”
“Oh, Christopher? Ha! I’m sure Samuel loved hearing him go on about you.”
“Right about that. McGovern is pretty much a tool, but what he does for the hospital is for the greater good of the patients, so I won’t judge him too harshly for his efforts.”
“What happened with Samuel? What made you go talk with him?”
“It was Jackson, and what he said to me while we talked. Reese, you should have heard him go on about why he lied to me and then explaining to me his entire life plan. I am in awe of my son. He is an amazing individual, and although I want to believe I know him like no other, I saw him differently last night. He was determined to make me see what I never wanted to.”
“Which was?”
“My fear. I never realized how much it truly affected him. Reese, I literally checked out of showing any kind of emotion after I lost Elizabeth. I put up walls that protected me from ever getting hurt, and it was those walls that I kept Jackson safely tucked behind. I think back now on how selfish I was to him. I never allowed him to play football or any contact sport. To hear him list why he kept his condition from me and the reasons behind it was a true epiphany for me. I love him, Reese, more than my own life, but he deserves to have his own too. I’m not saying I’m going to stop being overprotective tomorrow, but I have to give him some breathing room. After our talk, I almost forgot why I was angry in the first place.”
“Where does Samuel fit in all of this?”
“Jackson opened my eyes, and he championed the good doctor and his abilities to help him. I had nothing left but to agree to Jackson’s request. He wants Samuel to be the one to operate on him. With a heavy heart, I agreed to let him. That’s why I found myself at Samuel’s office last night. I was prepared to beg him if it came down to that, and I did Reese. I begged for my son’s life.”
I continued, “The conversation then shifted to you and the life you had with him. He touched on how he met you the night in the hospital and how sorry he was that he couldn’t save our son. He was remorseful and repenting all at the same time. I almost felt bad for him, but I’m a selfish man and I was there and prepared for just about anything to have him agree to help Jackson.”
“Did he agree? Will he do the surgery?”
“Yes, he agreed. He’s a doctor first, and you know better than anyone that he just can’t walk away when a patient needs him. Reese, I’m putting all my faith in the hands of your ex-husband, who probably deep down still hates me. Please help me with this? It wasn’t easy for me to ask him for anything, let alone save my son. We could walk in there, and he could change his mind and be done with it.”
“Walker, that’s not Samuel. If he gave you his word to help Jackson, then he will keep it. Forget about what happened months ago, that is irrelevant. Samuel Briggs is one of the most honorable men I have ever known. He is a brilliant doctor.”
“Careful, Reese, you know how jealous I can be.”
“Oh, I know, but you never have to worry. I’m yours forever, and you’re mine. I’m proud of you, Walker. Last night you took the first step on the path of forgiveness.”
“Forgiveness? What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. You took the first step in healing. You did something that your father could never do. And when he finally did have the balls to reach out to you, forgive my language, but he chickened the hell out. You could go round and round with your conscience about how you were the one that shut him out, but really, Walker? What did he expect from you? It was too late for Phillip to right his wrongs, but it is not too late for you.”
“I’m trying, baby, but I would be a liar if I said I’m still so fucking angry.”
“I get that, and you have a right to be, but staying angry at the people that hurt you the most just gives them more power in the end. You put up a strong front and it leaves your enemies in a state of fear, but I also know what it costs you. Maybe your father is trying to tell you what he couldn’t say while he was alive. You’re fighting a ghost, one that will keep coming back until you stop fighting. Listen to him, Walker, and just maybe you will finally be able to have the closure you need to move past all of this hurt. Whatever you choose, I will be here for you.”
“That I know with my whole heart. It’s your love that has made me whole again. I swore to all who hurt us that I would never forgive any of them for what they put us through. I got my revenge on Ralston, and I cut Henry out of our lives, but he needs to know about Jackson. I have to tell my mother as well.”
“Why don’t you speak with Jackson first, and ask him how he feels about Henry. He is his only living grandfather. Please understand I am not saying this to you for his benefit. It’s for Jackson, and if he wants his grandparents here, then you must respect his wishes. Let’s go in and meet with Liam and Samuel, and then your son. The phone calls to the grandparents could wait for now.”
We got out of the car and made our way through Samuel’s hospital.
“Are you ready?” she asked me.
“Let’s go. And Reese?”
“What is it?”
“I love you. Thank you for everything. You can’t even begin to know how you help me. I don’t think I would be able to get through this without you. You are so incredibly strong, and your faith is amazing. I hear Lila through your comforting words.”
“That reminds me, she is ano
ther phone call we need to make today. I don’t want to worry them.”
“They’re all fine. Stephen checked in with them this morning. They are still at the Grand Canyon and should be leaving sometime today to continue on to California. Let them have their fun, and we can call them later.”
“Whatever you say, as long as I can have some fun with you later,” she said with a wink.
“Well, we can have some fun right now. I do love a good elevator ride.”
She flashed her beautiful smile at me and delivered a wink that could bring me down on my knees. This was Reese’s way of helping me face what was beyond these doors. Just holding her hand set my mind at ease. Breathe, Walker, breathe. Everything is going to be okay. It has to be.
We reached Jackson’s room and heard laughter coming from inside. I thought that was a good sign that my son was in good spirits. Although we spoke already this morning, I was not reassured that he didn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear.
“Good morning,” I said as we made our way inside.
Jackson smiled and greeted us, but Riley’s smile had fallen, no doubt because of how I spoke to her yesterday. Reese walked over to her and gave her daughter a hug. Riley took a step back and took a closer look at her mother.
“Oh my god! Mom, are you pregnant?” she asked, as Reese couldn’t contain her smile any longer.
“Yes, sweetheart, I am.”
What came next could seriously break the sound barrier. Riley screamed and then hugged Reese with such a force, she almost lost her balance. Thank goodness I was behind Reese to catch her.
“So sorry, mom, but wow, I can’t believe you’re pregnant. When? How?”
“Okay, Riley, take a breath. I would think you know the how part, but when? A few months ago. We wanted to wait until I was safely out of my first trimester to tell you the good news.”
“Are you okay, mom? How’s the baby?”
“I’m fine sweetheart, and your sister is perfect.”
This time we were all prepared for the screams and covered our ears, even Jackson knew what was coming. We all laughed and my earlier anxiety was already forgotten. The next thing Riley did was touch her mother’s stomach and asked if she could say hi to her little sister. Reese could barely answer through her tears, she was so happy. Riley whispered that she couldn’t wait to meet her, as she promised to be the best sister ever.