I went to move and nearly fell over. My head was spinning, and I felt sick, causing my father to react immediately. I could feel my heart beating faster, faster than ever before. My eyes began to blur. No, please!!! I silently prayed.
“Jackson! Are you alright?” My father asked me in a panicked voice. “Get a doctor!”
My father lifted me up into his arms and carried me back over to my bed. As soon as he laid me down, I reached for the basin and emptied the contents of my lunch. My grandfather was shouting for help at this point and wanting to come over to me, but the security team held him in place. Dr. O’Larien rushed in with hospital security following him. He cleared the room and began flashing a bright light into my eyes. But not before I witnessed my grandfather dragged out of my room.
“Jackson. Eyes on me. Tell me the pain level. 1-10?” Dr. O’Larien asked me.
I was shaking my head back and forth. I was talking, but heard no words. My father was screaming at me. His strangled cries were resonating throughout the entire vast room. Speckles of light was all I could see. I heard Dr. O’Larien call out commands to nurses who were surrounding me. I could feel a hand wrapped around mine like a vice. It was my father’s hand, I think. He was crying, screaming, begging.
“You stay with me, Jackson!” His cries became faint, as I struggled to keep them focused on the light. This can’t be happening. I felt my body rising as I was looking down at the scene below me.
I was dying. And in front of my father, just like my mother. No! I have to hang on. Dr. O’Larien was working over me. A tube was being inserted in my throat, and I was being wheeled out.
“Page Dr. Briggs…Stat to O.R. One.” Dr. O’Larien screamed.
I heard one medical term being called out after another, as I tried to hang on and not go to sleep.
“Come on people…move!” he shouted as we crashed through another room. My father was held back by security as he tried to claw his way in to follow me. I will never forget his cries, as my world went dark.
“Jackson!!!”
“You fight, son.”
“Don’t let go.”
“Stay with me.”
This is not my destiny. My future is with Riley. How can history repeat itself in two lifetimes? I wouldn’t believe that fate could deliver that type of pain to my father again. I woke to Riley in my arms this morning, my beautiful girl, happy and so in love with me. I would lay my life down for her, but not like this. She’s not here to hold my hand. I need her. I need my crazy girl to tell me that she loves me. I need to feel her breath on me with her hot kisses. I need to see her walk down the aisle toward me.
I promised her forever. My forever promise to Riley was to love her all the days of my life. I would have never asked her to marry me if I didn’t believe I could keep that promise to her. No! I can’t leave her. I can’t leave any of them, especially my father.
This cannot be how my story ends…
“JACKSON!!!
“You fight son.”
“Don’t let go.”
“Stay with me.”
I continued to shout as my voice became hoarse. This is not happening, not again. I was rooted to the floor, as Stephen and Richard helped me up. They led me to a chair where I nearly collapsed in. I thought I had no strength left until I saw Henry cowering in a corner, crying for my son.
“You son of a bitch!” I screamed, as I lunged for Henry Townsend with intent of killing him with my bare hands. My hands wrapped tightly around his neck, constricting his airway. I allowed this monster to come in reach of my son. I went against all my internal instincts and let Jackson change my mind. I knew he was a bastard after I discovered his duplicitous side, but never in a million lifetimes did I ever believe he could be this hateful. His legs were buckling, as my guys pulled me off of him. All bets were off. No more promises to my dead wife to protect her father in the sake of her memory.
He did this to my son. I wanted him dead. He was on his knees gasping for air, spitting onto the floor. I wanted to kick him in his ribs and not stop until he was coughing up blood. I want him dead.
“Back the fuck off!” I spat at Stephen and Richard.
It was their job to protect me, but I knew exactly what I was doing and could handle this on my own. Stephen gave me the same censorious look when I took out Ralston in the ring. I could have easily ended Jake’s life, but taking his life would not give me back the years that were taken from me. Ending him and Henry would only take away my future. Fuck that! I have too much to live for.
I knelt down in front of the man I thought I knew. The man I once loved and respected. Oh, how I was fooled by him.
My jaw ticked as I gritted my teeth. My anger completely consumed me. What I did say would be the final words I ever would say to this man.
“I want nothing more than to see you suffer for the pain you caused here today. My son could be dying because of you. If I could, you would die by these two hands. I would relish in the fact that I was the one that ended you. I hate you, but even in hate, a man can find redemption for his enemies. My father did. And so could I. Hear this old man, because I will only say it once. If you ever come near any member of my family again…I. Will. Kill. You. There is a special place in Hell, reserved and waiting for you. You deserve nothing less.”
With what I had left of my control, I summoned over Stephen and Richard.
“Get this piece of shit out of my sight,” I told them.
They didn’t hesitate to pick him up and carry him away to the nearest exit. I was questioned by security, no doubt the cameras had caught everything. I didn’t care. My son was fighting for his life because of his grandfather’s hate for me. McGovern was filled in on the events that took place and hurried over to my side. He informed me that Briggs was with Jackson. He was in his office going over my son’s records once more. He answered his page immediately, and I thanked God that Samuel was nearby.
I slid my body down the wall with no strength left to hold me up. Please God…don’t take my son. Please…
I silently prayed for my pleas to be answered. Arms were enveloping me with love and warmth. My blurry eyes found hers.
“Reese,” I whispered.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
I cried in her arms. Riley was crying and being held by Richard.
“I can’t lose him, Reese. Not like this…not ever.”
“You won’t, Walker. He will make it. I promise you. He will make it.”
“How do you know?” I questioned my love.
“Because I believe. Fate is not that cruel. Jackson will come back to us. This…I know.”
I didn’t say anything else. My throat was burning, and it hurt to even talk. All I could do was silently pray that Reese was right.
CROSSING OVER FROM the life you had on earth to the next is nothing like you see in the movies. No one really knows what Heaven is like. Who knows if this is where I am right now. I feel free and light as a feather. How is this happening? I feel like I’m flying, a weightless gravity that has me suspended with no ability to feel the surface below.
I’m in an operating room where Dr. Briggs and Dr. O’Larien are working side by side to save my life. The nurses are working furiously around them and acting on every command they direct at them. With precision and calmness, Dr. Briggs begins to work on my brain. I think I feel sick and shouldn’t be watching this. I’m starring in my own horror flick, but it’s not the mad scientist working on my brain, it’s Riley’s father. This was not the way this was supposed to happen. I should be surrounded by my family with Riley at my side. I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye. What will happen to her if I don’t make it? What about my father? The look in his eyes will forever be burned into my memory. He was devastated.
I can’t look anymore. I need to get out of here, but where do I go? I don’t even understand why I’m here or what’s happening right now. At my moment of confusion, all became clear and was standing in front of me to show me the way. A
t first, all I could see was a shimmering light, almost how Riley’s ring sparkled and it shot off a rainbow of colors. This light was different though. It was calming and protecting. I wasn’t scared anymore. I felt the presence come closer to me as I tried to bring the image into focus.
I looked all around me, but was only surrounded by light. I could no longer see my body in the O.R. It was gone. Once again my fear of the unknown crept in and took hold of me. Was I dead? And this was the afterlife? Panic was setting in. What is this place? I want to go home! I shouted. And then I saw a hand reach for mine.
“Hello Jackson. Take my hand. And don’t be afraid.”
If this were a movie, I would probably be on the edge of my seat waiting to see what comes next. This was no movie. This was real, and it was standing right in front of me. The image was clear and there was no mistaking who it was. I was staring at my mother. My mother has come for me.
“Mom?” I barely got out above a whisper. “You look exactly like your portrait in the hospital. But if you’re here and I’m here, then it can only mean one thing…I’m dead.”
“No, son, you’re not dead, just sleeping. You called for me, so I’m here…for you.”
She was beautiful as I imagined her to be. Her hair was dark like mine, almost black. It was wavy with curls that went past her shoulders and down her back. I saw myself through her eyes. I was looking at a mirror, and my image was staring back at me. A life cut short by something that wasn’t controllable, and yet it’s happening again with me. Somehow looking at her took away all my fear and anxiety.
We walked in silence until we reached a tall tree, probably the tallest tree I have ever seen. We were in Big Sur. I was standing in front of the same tree where I had carved our names in. This was the place I had intended to propose to my girl. This was the same spot I professed my love and commitment to Riley. Pottersville was the turning point for us, but it was here where we made Our Forever Promise to one another. This was our place. And ours alone. I vowed to love Riley for the rest of my life and knew I would marry her one day.
I turned to look at my mother, who was smiling at me.
“Why have you brought me here?” I demanded to know. “I will never have this again. I can’t bear it. Please take me anywhere but here.”
I could feel my eyes moisten with tears until my mother leaned in and wiped them away.
“Don’t be afraid son. You will see this place again, I promise. I brought you here to remember why you need to fight. I know you believe that what ended my life is now ending yours, but that’s not true. It’s scary, but it will all be over soon. I’m so sorry for my father. The answers to your long list of questions as to why do not matter anymore. He chose his path a long time ago. He alone has to be responsible for the choices he made. It will be him that has to live with them, not you.”
She took my hand and guided my fingers over our carved names. I felt the bark rub against my skin and the memory of that day crashed through me. I felt Riley. I felt her love for me in that moment of clarity. I had to get back to her, to all of them. I would fight forever to spend one more moment with Riley.
“Mom, I can’t be here. I want to go home. Please help me?”
“Like I said, Jackson, your life does not end here. It’s just beginning, I promise. I love you so much. I will always be here in your heart where it matters most. I’m never too far away, and I will always look over you.”
I felt her arms around me. I have never been so comforted in all of my life. Knowing her through other people’s memories would never even come close to what I’m feeling at this moment. I can touch her. I can see her beautiful emerald eyes shining back at me. Now I can understand why I’ve been told all of my life how we have this one trait in common. I’m lost in them.
Our hands were entwined as we began walking again, this time towards a doorway. I once again was surrounded by light, the brightest I have ever seen. She held my hands and looked into my eyes.
“I love you, Jackson. I will always be with you, but here is where I say goodbye…for now. One day we will be together again. You must go now. You have people who love you and are waiting.”
“How can I say goodbye to you, mother when I just found you?”
“It’s never goodbye, my son. It’s just a pause until we meet again. Take care of your father. I will always be with you both. I love you, son. Forever and ever.”
She led me through the door, and I was back in the O.R. I didn’t want to be here, not after where I’ve just been. I had to trust my mother and what she said.
Warmth radiated through me, and I heard her once more. “Don’t be afraid, son. And Jackson? It’s time to wake up!”
“WE GOT HIM back. His heartbeat and pulse are back in normal range. This fucker was a bitch to get, but we got it,” I said to Liam and the rest of my team who accomplished a near impossible feat today. It was touch and go for a while there, but my daughter’s fiancé survived. Before I arrived, Liam had almost panicked with the thought of losing Jackson. He thought for sure that Jackson’s pupils were about to blow and that would sever all hope of saving this boy’s life.
With only minutes to spare, I located the AVM. Unbeknownst to me, there was a second one located directly behind the first. We took countless images, but this shadow never came into focus until we saw it with our own eyes. It was the second that nearly ruptured. Something bigger played a role here today that helped me save him. It wasn’t just these hands, it was something so much more. Jackson should have died here on this table, but he made it. We eradicated both AVM’s and have ruled out a stroke. It was the blood pressure spike that he experienced beforehand that set all of this in motion. A rupture was always to be considered and taken into account. The level of stress he experienced led to what could have culminated his life. Thank God it didn’t.
There was no way of knowing how long it would take for Jackson to wake. The stress of the seizure and hours under sedation, it would be a waiting game now. He would be taken to the I.C.U. of my Neurosurgery Center to be monitored closely throughout the night. I knew it would break my daughter’s heart to not be with him, but he needed to rest, and his brain needed to begin the healing process.
The route to the recovery units were off from the O.R. He would bypass his waiting family and be taken directly to his room. They were anxiously awaiting news, but I needed to catch my breath first. Liam did too!
“I was scared in there,” Liam admitted.
“I was too. I’ve done this operation more times than I can count. This was like something I never experienced before. Maybe it was because this case hit too close to home. We had no time to second guess our steps. We came so close to losing him, and then his heart rate steadied and there was a chance. How do we begin to even understand that?”
“I don’t know, Samuel, but what you did in there was miraculous. We were thrown together by the force of nature called Walker Reed. I’m damn proud to know you, friend. It was an honor sharing the O.R. with you. You are a truly gifted surgeon.”
“Thank you, Liam, but I did my job. I couldn’t have done it without you. Your initial reaction was probably what saved him in the end. One minute wasted could have changed this outcome. Do you want to tell the family? Or shall I?”
“I’ll walk out with you, but you’re the one they want to hear from.”
“Okay,” I replied.
My scrubs were soaked through. I quickly changed into fresh ones and cleaned up my appearance. Liam and I both checked on Jackson before making our way to speak with the family. He was stable and holding his own. My natural expression always came across as serious. I knew I couldn’t walk out there and show anything else but hopeful. Liam stopped me as we came to the door.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m ready,” I confidently replied. Jackson made it. That’s all that mattered.
DAYS LIKE THIS are days when you look at your life, and hope you still have more moments to come with the people you love m
ost in the world.
I just want to believe that everything is going to be okay. I want my life back to last week when I was making love to Reese and dreaming of our wedding day, laughing and imagining our future together with the new life our love created.
How do I get back there? To the best moments of my life? I’m a selfish man and I usually get what I want, but this? I have no control over, and that is the hardest part of it. I’m standing on the outside looking in. I’m suspended and held back by my fear, my fear of losing everything that matters to me, beginning with Jackson.
Reese made me believe in second chances, fate, the universe, and all it represents. Our future has been written. Some say our destinies are planned out for us before birth, but not our story. We changed it and took back what was always ours to have. Now I sit here and hope for the same conclusion for my son and Riley. They are so young, carefree, with light all around them. This is not their story.
I’ve been here before. I’m here again in this darkened room with candles and nothing else but my silent pleas screaming from inside of my head. I once again looked up to the man on the cross. Millions of faithful believers prayed to him every single day. Now I’m no different than the countless others, praying and hoping for good news.
I’m here again! Praying for divine intervention to save my son. I’ll never forget his first cry. The shrill of his newborn cry resonated throughout the entire operating room. I was holding Elizabeth’s hand and just praying for confirmation that our son made it.
My eyes never left His, as I heard my thoughts become words.
“I know it doesn’t seem fair that people from all walks of life sit here and ask for their wishes to be granted, prayers to be answered, and wrongs to be righted. We ask so much of you and hardly ever give back. I’ll do anything to save my son. When I lost Reese, and then lost Elizabeth, my son was all I had left. Jackson saved me a long time ago. He deserves this miracle. Please allow him to have it.”
Our Forever Promise Page 31
