Our Forever Promise

by Mary Wasowski

  “Anything, dad, name it.”

  “Good. I was hoping you would say that. Next Saturday, I’m going to marry Reese. I would love nothing more than to have the best man I know, well…stand up for me.”

  “Me? You want me to be your best man?”

  “I don’t see anyone else around. Yes, Jackson, I want you to stand up for me. Will you?”

  “Yes! Of course I’ll do it. It would be my honor, dad.”

  “Excellent. I was hoping you would say yes. Thank you, son. You don’t know how happy you just made me.”

  “No, dad. Thank you.”

  AFTER MY TALK with my father, I took a few minutes to myself to gather what I wanted to say to Riley. My girl had been more than patient with me while I’d been an ass. My father was right on all counts. I was shutting out my family and my girl. I’d been so selfish and consumed with focusing on school and my wants, that I never even considered how it was affecting Riley.

  She had been nothing but supportive and loving toward me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I just wanted “me” back, and I had to find some way to make her understand how I felt, and without pushing her away. I loved this house. The grounds were beautifully lined with blossoming trees and flowers. I knew I couldn’t walk too far without getting tired. My sight was improving as well as my balance. I couldn’t wait to throw this cane away, but for now it was my saving grace. I lowered myself to the ground and leaned back to stare up at the night sky. Stars were blanketing the sky tonight and left me wishing that Riley was here with me. As if she had a secret portal to my thoughts, I didn’t have to wish for long. I looked up to see her standing before me. She looked at me lovingly and waited patiently to be invited back in.

  She looked absolutely beautiful with the moonlight shining all around her. We had our own connection and could almost hear the other’s heartbeat. I opened my arms, and with no hesitation she dropped to her knees and fell forward into me. I folded her in, safe and protected. I loved her so much. It was time to show her how much.

  “Hey, beautiful girl. What’s with the tears? We’ve had enough of them lately, and they stop tonight.”

  “I can’t help it, I’m sorry. When your father walked back into the media room without you, my heart just sank deeper and I felt…lost. Lost without you. Jackson, please don’t give up. I am begging you to fight, and fight for us. I don’t care about school, I don’t care about New York. All I want is you, and for you to love me. Has that changed for you?”

  Gutted. Totally sliced wide open with her words. I already knew how she could sit here and question me. This was my fault because I was the one that left her so unsure. Her confidence had now been shattered, and she was left with the uncertainty of facing a future without me. Never! I could never be so lost for that to happen.

  “Riley, if I could, I would just hit rewind on the past month and take back every last tear you ever had to cry because of me. I am so sorry that I’ve hurt you. I never knew that I had a selfish side in my body until I was faced with losing something that I wanted so badly. I put my own wants before you, and for that alone, I am so very shameful. I know what I went through with having the AVM and the surgery that followed. I do know how fucking lucky I am to be alive, but even that didn’t stop me. All I cared about was that I wasn’t going to my dream school or city. My friends were moving on without me, and here I was, not getting to do what I had planned.”

  “Riley, I will never be that careless again with your feelings. Here you were putting everything on hold for me, and I just let you do it. I promise to work hard at getting ‘me’ back. I promise to listen to my doctors and follow my physical therapy. I survived baby, and that alone is a miracle. I’m done being an ass and taking for granted everything I still have. Specifically, you, my beautiful girl, are my life. If I’m ever selfish again it’s going to be for us and for us alone. We matter most, and I promise to always put you first. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. You didn’t have to say all of that, but I’m still happy you did. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t help but feel insecure. It’s a bad habit. I allow my overactive mind to analyze the shit out of everything.”

  “Don’t apologize, baby. You were just taking cues from me. I want you, but this is not the place to show you how much.”

  “I know. This place is on lockdown and I’m not sure if we could go anywhere that’s not being watched.”

  “My father is on high alert because of the press. And there’s my missing grandfather to worry about.”

  “We never really talked about it, Jackson. How do you really feel about your grandfather and all that happened? I know you loved him very much.”

  “I still love him, but he’s not the same person I knew as my grandpa. He’s changed into someone I don’t recognize. He hurt my father so much. Clearly after all of these years, he’s still hating on your mother for simply loving my father. I don’t get it, babe? But I’m done trying to understand it. My grandma is a mess. She’s divorcing him. Can you believe that? After forty plus years of marriage?”

  “It doesn’t matter how old you are. Hurt is hurt, and your grandfather caused a lot of it for many people. Your grandmother has a right to her feelings. She probably has many of them right now to work through, but I’m sure she will be okay.”

  “I hope so. Anyway, enough of that. Did you know my father asked me to be his best man?”

  “I did. I’ll be standing up for my mom as her maid of honor. I can’t believe they are finally getting married. We will both be witnessing a testament to their love story.”

  “It’s been quite the journey for them. All has finally been righted in their world.”

  “Jackson.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Is everything right in our world?”

  I pulled my girl on top of me and held her face in my hands. She was trying not to cry and be brave, but I knew any tears that would fall would be because she loved me so much. I saw myself in her reflection and let a tear or two fall down from my own eyes. I never felt more in love with Riley than at this moment with her under the night sky. I didn’t answer her, I showed her. And I really didn’t care about being seen. All I wanted at this moment was Riley seeing me, and feeling my love for her.

  She hesitated at first, and then opened up for me, as my tongue met hers. I never loosened my grip on her, as my tongue twisted in unison with hers. She let out a soft moan, sounds that flowed straight down to my hard erection. My eager body wanted hers. Riley sat up and now was straddling my hips. She lifted her shirt from the hem and slowly removed it from her body, leaving her with her pink lace bra on. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her between her breasts, biting through the barely there material. I took her pebbled nipple into my mouth, as she screamed out her pleasure. I quickly silenced her with my mouth. We were away from the house, but we didn’t need an audience.

  “Please, Jackson, make love to me. I need you so much.”

  “I am making love to you, baby.”

  “I want you inside me. Stop teasing me, please.”

  “We have time, Riley, so let me love you and show you how much you mean to me.”

  My leg was tingling again. I’d been on the ground way longer than I should have. I could feel it begin to spasm, but I bit back the sensation and continued loving my girl. I placed my shirt on the ground and laid Riley on top of it. I kept her skirt on, but pulled off her panties. She was wet and ready for me. I inhaled her intoxicating scent as I drove my tongue into her inviting aroused bud. She cried out again and lifted her pelvis further to get my attention. Oh I was there, and I wasn’t going anywhere. She withered beneath me, as she bit her lip to the point of ripping it open.

  “Now, Jackson, right now!”

  “You are a demanding little thing, aren’t you?”

  “Only for you. I need to feel you fill me, please, Jackson.”

  “Her words were my undoing as she handed me a condom, taking me by surprise again. I didn’t ques
tion it. I slid the condom down my length and entered Riley slowly at first, and then picked up the pace. The pain in my leg was keeping me from going faster, but my girl wasn’t complaining. She felt so good wrapped around me.

  “Look at me, Riley. And don’t close your eyes.”

  “You said that the first time we made love.”

  “I’ll say it every time. I need to see you…always, and I want you to always see me. You make me come undone, baby. I am so head over heels in love with you.”

  “I love you, Jackson.”

  We were close as two people could be. Our bodies were tightening around the other, as we both came at the same synchronized moment. I felt alive, and so very strong. This was how Riley made me feel. We were one. I knew that we would be okay from this minute moving forward. My father was right. My future wasn’t gone. It was just beginning, and with Riley. No more doubts. No more sad tears. I had it all. And had the girl of my dreams here in my arms.

  “We better get back before they send a search party out to look for us.” My girl giggled and quickly dressed. I tied off the condom and pocketed it until I could throw it out. I struggled to get up, but nothing got past Riley, as she noticed me wince in pain. Holding out her hand, I took it with no hesitation and got myself up.

  “Team Reed, right?”

  “Forever beautiful girl. I can’t wait to make you mine forever.”

  “I’m already yours, Jackson. A piece of paper won’t change that.”

  “Yes, it will. We will be married, Riley, and that will be the happiest day of my life.”

  “Our life,” she said as she smiled at me.

  “Absolutely.”

  “Our life.”

  Taking her hand in mine, as we walked back to the house, I whispered to myself, “Our life.”

  THE WEDDING PLANS were back on. Not a minute was wasted on finalizing every last detail for our big day. I felt like I could finally come up for air and just take a breath. With all that my family has been through, no family deserved a win more than we did.

  My son was getting stronger every day. Reese’s pregnancy was right on track. She wasn’t getting sick anymore, and her little baby bump wasn’t so little. She was nervous about fitting into her wedding dress, but Freddy assured her that she would look stunning in his one of a kind design. I downsized the wedding guest list to family and close friends only. I gave Reese what she wanted, an intimate wedding in our meadow. After we met with Rosalyn, and she revealed her revised plans, Reese was thrilled. And Lila? She was over the moon. Rosalyn had won them both over with all she had done.

  My mother had arrived, along with Marsha Malin. Reese had insisted that Marsha stay with us. This was my first time having the opportunity to spend some time with Reese and Freddy’s longtime friend. She was like no one I had ever met. She was loud, opinionated, and had no filter when it came to what was on her mind. Having Freddy, Marsha, and Lila all at the same table made the dinner conversation very animated, but we all had a great time as new friendships were born.

  As much as my mother tried to be part of this fun group, I also saw some sadness on her face. I hadn’t really had the opportunity to spend any real time with her. When I suggested a walk through the grounds, her eyes lit up and happily accepted my invitation.

  We walked arm and arm through the garden that led to the meadow where Reese and I would marry.

  “Are you okay Mother?” I asked her, as we sat in the gazebo.

  “Of course. Why do you ask?”

  “You say that you’re okay, but your body language tells me differently. What is it? Haven’t we made you feel welcomed in our home?”

  “Oh, Walker, please don’t be defensive. You know I am so happy for you and your lovely Reese. She’s making me a grandmother again. That alone is the best news I could ever receive. You wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

  “Try me. I may just surprise you.”

  “Please don’t be angry with me, but I’ve been thinking about your father lately. I know you were at the house and you made your peace, Reese told me. But the bigger question is, why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there for you, son, and helped you through it. I know your father hurt you very much, but I’m still here, Walker, and I feel disconnected from you.”

  “Mother, I’m sorry you feel this way, but it was not my intention to hurt or shut you out. I needed to be alone at the house, and with father. His presence is still so strong in that house, and I needed him to hear me. I no longer am carrying the anger I once had. I lost too much already to waste one more day being angry over something I cannot control.”

  “What does that mean exactly? Have you forgiven your father?”

  “I have. I gave him his absolution. I truly hope he is at peace.”

  “And Henry? What will you do about him?”

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He’s dead to me. He’s alienated his grandson and his wife. The man has lost everything. He only has himself to blame. He’s another subject I no longer wish to discuss. For what’s it worth, I am very happy you are here with us. Reese couldn’t be happier that her family and ours have finally come together. This is what we have always wanted, and now we have it.”

  “I’m happy too, son. You deserve all the happiness your heart can hold. You found your soul mate again. To have that happen once in a lifetime is miraculous, but twice? I would say you, Walker Phillip Reed, are the luckiest man in the world, and I’m damn proud to be your mother.”

  “Thank you, because I’m damn proud to be your son. I don’t say it often enough, but I do love you very much.”

  “I love you, too. Come on, and let’s go share a piece of pecan pie.”

  “You want pecan pie?” I laughed out loud with my mother’s request.

  “Yes, and what’s so funny about that? That Lila Mitchell is one hell of a baker. One bite of that pie, and I was hooked. Now let’s go back inside before that grandson of mine finishes it off.”

  “As you wish mother. You never cease to surprise me.”

  “Touché son, touché.”

  It was amazing how far we’ve come in our relationship. We went from not having one to laughing and enjoying each other’s company. All was fitting into place.

  IS THIS REALLY happening? How did I get here? I’m here with Walker. The man whom I have loved all my adult life. The man that has made all my dreams come true. My fantasies have now become realities.

  I smiled and took it all in. The sun was warming my skin on this beautiful September morning in California. Our gardens were exploding with color from the hundreds of flowers blooming throughout the grounds. Our gazebo was ready. The dance floor had been installed, and the tents were presently being put up. It was like watching a movie play out in front of my eyes, and I had the front row seat in my balcony above.

  “Ouch, little one. That was a hard kick.”

  I rubbed my growing belly as I talked to our daughter who was being very active this morning. I was just far enough along where I could feel her, but it was a little harder for Walker to. I told him that his time was coming soon, and he would love it. He talked to her every night and played his favorite melodies for her. Times like this, I often think of our son who we lost. He probably would have looked just like Walker. Jackson mirrored his father almost completely, except for his eyes which belonged to his mother.

  I could sit here and daydream all day, but I had vows to write. What could I say that I haven’t said to Walker a thousand times before? I thought about just waiting to the moment where his eyes would meet mine and the words would easily come, but decided it was best to write them down.

  Freddy had given me some of his best one liners to use, but I would save them for when we didn’t have an audience listening. I didn’t think it was appropriate to call Walker “Mr. Wall Sex” in front of Nana. Oh my goodness! I love my best friend.

  “Knock, knock. Come on, Peaches. It’s time to meet my god daughter.” Speak of the Devil, it was Freddy at my door.
r />   “Hey, what time is it?” I nervously asked Freddy.

  “It’s time for your appointment. Hurry up and get dressed, or we are going to be late. I promised your very hot man that I would drive you to your appointment where he will meet us.”

  “I’m sorry, BFF. I just got lost in my thoughts.”

  “I hope it was all thoughts of Mr. Sex on a stick!”

  “Of course, are there any other kinds?”

  “Ha ha, very funny. Let’s go, Peaches.”

  Freddy had driven me to my appointment at Dr. Lemay’s office. Walker had early morning meetings, so they worked it out that he would meet us there. Freddy was so excited to see the baby. He never experienced something like this before, so I was happy to share it with him. He was also over the moon that we asked him to be god father to our daughter. Who else would love her more?

  Arriving before Walker, I was taken into my exam room where we waited for the man of the hour to arrive. After consuming a gallon of water, I was going to burst any minute if he didn’t get here soon. Freddy kept making faces at me and trying to make me laugh. I shooed him away after the last joke, when Dr. Lemay and Walker entered the room together. He looked incredibly handsome in his three piece grey pinstripe suit. I loved watching him dress, but this morning I missed my own private viewing because he left so early.

  “Hello, baby. You look amazing,” he said as he leaned down to kiss me.

  “Why thank you, stud, but not in front of Reese. Our girl gets jealous.” Freddy winked at my man.

  “Freddy! You are terrible,” I playfully slapped him.

  “What? That compliment wasn’t for me? Oh Walker! You hurt my feelings.” Freddy feigned his hurt.