by M. Robinson
We graduated eighth grade. Only Austin was left to watch over Alex for one more year, and then she would be alone again. Two more years until we were all under the same roof and school. Our friendship stayed the same, but the feelings we had for each other grew in ways that were far more complex. After that kiss there was no going back, and that was probably why I did it in the first place. I claimed her.
Summer came and went and so did another school year, and then another summer. Before we knew it I was sixteen, and Alex was about to turn fourteen. It was her last year in middle school and we were in tenth grade, Austin in ninth. I went to get my driver’s license on my birthday with Alex impatiently waiting in the sitting room with my mom, and the boys waiting at the beach to celebrate. When I told them I passed my test she jumped in my arms, shrieking and acting like a girl. My mom smiled, and we all walked outside. Parked right out front was a silver Chevy Silverado with my dad in the drivers’ seat.
I instantly looked at Alex who smiled and enthusiastically nodded her head, turning to my mom who was holding up keys.
“No?” I softly asked.
“Happy birthday, baby,” Mom replied, placing the keys in my hand.
I was shocked as shit that they bought me a truck. It was very unexpected, even though I had been hinting that I wanted one. Our boards would fit perfectly on the bed and it had enough room to fit the boys and Alex. Now that I had a truck we could try different beaches to surf. Dylan got a black Jeep for his birthday, and Jacob got a classic black Ford Mustang that we spent hours fixing in his garage.
“I can’t believe you got this truck! This thing is a beast, Bo!” Alex excitedly shouted while I drove.
She looked so tiny sitting in the seat beside me. She wore a black dress that seemed more like a baggy shirt on her. She wore dresses all the time now, but they never clung to her body, still a tomboy at heart. I would say her style was sort of like a hippy, and the makeup on her face was always minimal. She didn’t need it. She was naturally beautiful with her dark brown, waist length, wavy hair. It was as soft as it appeared to be. We still spent every second we could alone in our abandoned house, but we hadn’t kissed again.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m kidnapping you for the day.”
She giggled. I loved hearing her laugh.
“It’s not kidnapping if you tell me first, besides it’s your birthday shouldn’t I be the one kidnapping you?”
“I want to spend my birthday with you, that’s what I want to do.”
She blushed, it was subtle but I saw it.
We pulled up to our abandoned house and I grabbed her hand before she went up the patio stairs.
“Stay here.” I went upstairs and grabbed the blanket and picnic basket that I stole from my mom earlier that day. I left it inside for us. “We’re always in there,” I stated, answering the question that appeared on her face as she followed me down to the beach.
The house came with a private beach and no one could see us without trespassing. I laid out the blanket on the sand and she sat down, helping me take out the sandwiches, chips, and waters from the basket.
“I can’t believe you did this.”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I wanted to do something nice for her, so I did.
“You even used the crunchy peanut butter. Your mom doesn’t even buy this kind.”
I grinned.
We ate our food in silence but every so often I heard Alex take a deep breath. I knew she was content. In the grand scheme of things this was a very simple surprise but to her this was huge. This was worth everything and I wanted to make her happy, that was my present. We spent the entire day talking about meaningless things and when the sun began to set I laid down extending out my arm for her to lay on. She snuggled up beside me.
We watched the sunset in comfortable stillness with the waves of the ocean receding on the shoreline. I couldn’t help but think about the next time…
I would have her like this.
***
Dylan was exclusively dating this girl named Aubrey. She had blonde hair and bright green eyes, and her body was exactly like the ones he admired in those magazines all those years. Jacob dated Ava, who had red hair and blue eyes, and she was much more petite than Aubrey, who was Jacob’s style — she wasn’t as tiny as Alex though, she was still our Half-Pint. Austin was a player and that surprised all of us. He had a different girl around him every time I saw him. They flocked to him like bees to honey.
There was a birthday party waiting for me the next day at Alex’s parents’ restaurant. I hated being the center of attention, but I was a good ol’ boy and played my part. Stacey was there, and we were still playing the same old game, and just like before, it worked for me.
“Stacey’s eye fucking you from across the room,” Dylan chuckled, hitting the solid six ball in the corner pocket.
“No shit,” I replied, casually looking around for Alex.
“So what are you waitin’ for? She’s like a bitch in heat. I can smell her from here.”
I hit the stripped five ball in the side pocket.
“She’d let you hit it tonight. I’m predicting that she may already be waiting for you, too. You know, birthday present and all.”
Jacob raised a questioning eyebrow.
“God, Dylan, do you have to be so crass?” Ava asked, annoyed. “How does Aubrey put up with you?”
“I have a big dick,” he stated.
I shook my head, shutting my eyes. I swear he did it just to fuck with her.
Ava was very sensitive. I found Alex talking to Aubrey by the bar. She really liked her, more so than Ava. I think it was because Ava was really whiney, but Lily was by Alex’s side. My baby sister was ten and looked up to Alex for some reason, she followed her relentlessly, and I knew a part of Alex really loved that. I saw her trying to teach Alex how to play her guitar a few times, but Alex couldn’t carry a tune. Lily on the other hand, her voice was a gift and the talent she had with her guitar excelled everywhere she played.
“You wouldn’t be talkin’ that way if Half-Pint were here,” Ava declared.
“That’s because she’s a lady.”
“Cut the shit, man, you tryin’ to cock block me?” Jacob joked, making Ava slap him in the chest and left.
“Thanks, man.”
“Stop being such a pussy. Tell Lucas to grow a pair and get balls deep into Stacey already. Damn, man, you’re already doin’ everything else with her, what’s one more thing?” Dylan snidely alleged.
We had messed around a few times, she had blown me and I had fingered her, but I wouldn’t go down on her. It was too personal, even though she begged me for it. Alex didn’t know that, at least I didn’t think she did.
“Why don’t you worry about your own dick?” I eyed him.
“Because I love ya and I want you to get your dick wet.”
“Right…”
“I mean check out Austin,” Dylan nodded behind me.
I turned to find him making out with some chick. “I swear he better be using rubbers, he’s going to get an STD or shit get someone pregnant.”
“Legit,” Jacob stated.
“So how was it gettin’ your cock sucked?” Dylan blurted, making me look over at him.
“What?”
“Your cock, Lucas, you can’t tell me you didn’t love it. Now times that by ten and that’s what it feels like to sink into a warm pussy. Lose your goddamn virginity already, you’re making us look bad.”
“He kinda has a point, Lucas, what are you waitin’ for? You got a girl who doesn’t even care if you want to fuck her seven ways from Sunday with no commitment. Git ‘er done,” Jacob added.
I locked eyes with Stacey from across the room. She sat on a barstool sipping her water with hooded eyes.
I nodded to the boys. “Yeah,” was all I could say.
It wouldn’t be the last time I thought with my head and I’m not talking about the one on my neck.
>
“How’s school going, Alex?” Aubrey asked as we stood by the bar.
“Good. My classes are killer but so far, so good.”
I really liked Aubrey. She was sweet and down to earth. Dylan started seeing her exclusively a few months ago. She was fifteen and her body was ridiculous, I guess she resembled Stacey in that aspect. They both looked like they should be in nudie magazines. Although you would never be able to repeat that after talking to her, she didn’t act that way one bit.
Stacey, on the other hand, was a different story. She didn’t pretend to be anything she wasn’t already called to her face and behind her back. I never understood Lucas’s attraction to her, other than she gave it to him for free. Why buy the cow and all that. I hadn’t a clue how far they’d gone. I didn’t ask and he didn’t offer. It wasn’t discussed. The boys were good about keeping things behind closed doors, seeing as we didn’t go to the same school and all, but come next year that would change. It made me nervous just thinking about it. Stacey and I weren’t friends, we barely even spoke, but I knew her role in Lucas’s life and she knew mine.
End of story.
Ava was dumb as hell and I couldn’t see the appeal of her either, but Jacob didn’t seem smitten with her so I didn’t feel like I had to worry about her. It was more of a passing kinda thing. Jacob was hard to please, and every girl that came in his direction realized it and then moved on. It became difficult for him to hold down a steady girlfriend, although I knew in my heart that eventually he would meet the right girl. It would be about timing for him, and that proved to be true when we were all older.
I wanted Aubrey to stay around, though, but I knew how Dylan was. I mean not personally because he guarded his crass and vulgar side when I was around. I wasn’t ten anymore, but I had heard enough things to know that there were two sides to him: one when I was around and one when I wasn’t. Aubrey put up with him and God knows I commended her for it. It took a lot to settle the bull inside of him. She had subtle ways of calming him like rubbing the back of his head. She loved his long hair. However, I thought maybe there were two sides to him with her as well, one that we saw and then one when they were alone.
Now Austin, he was a hot mess. I think it caught us all by surprise. I didn’t know what was up with that boy, and a huge part of me knew he didn’t either. I had heard our mama’s yell at him one too many times to wrap it up and think with the head that was on the upper half of his body, not the lower. I laughed just thinking about it. Austin and I were closest in age and it wouldn’t be until the boys left for college for us to truly form a bond without them around. I understood Austin in ways that the boys didn’t, he was a lot like me in the sense that he wanted to be one of them, possibly losing himself in the process.
I would turn fourteen in a few weeks and I still didn’t have any life experiences outside of the boys. I hadn’t dated anyone, kissed anyone else, or even been on a date. All the boys on the island were too scared to come near me because they knew I came with baggage.
Four of them.
My boys grew up. And by that, I mean they looked like men, tall, muscular and broad. They had the whole bad boy, intimidating thing down. One would think they had rehearsed the part their entire lives, or something. They protected me even more than they had when we were growing up, and it got to the point where I just gave up. It wasn’t worth it to me, having them all in my life was enough.
Especially Lucas.
The mere thought of them leaving in two years, and just having Austin for one more after that, it killed me every time it crossed my mind. I hated knowing that things would once again change.
Lucas and I were the same as we’d always been. We spent every chance we could alone in our abandoned house. It was our special place and no one could take that away from me.
From us.
I had a torn emotion in my heart. It was the same one that’s been there for so many damn years. A piece of me sustained the hope that maybe one day, there might be a chance for us. Exactly how our mama’s had told me a few years back.
I waited. Maybe someday there would be a place for us outside of our abandoned house.
Where he could hold my hand.
Where he could kiss me whenever he wanted.
Where he could be mine and I could be his.
Where he could tell me he loved me the same way that I loved him.
Waiting. That’s all I ever did.
Little did I know that life had a funny way of keeping you on your toes and making you see the reality of the world. I desperately and urgently tried to ignore what had been staring me in the face all along.
As I was about to walk out of the bathroom stall, the restroom door opened.
“I think tonight’s the night.”
I recognized her voice immediately, stopping me dead in my tracks.
Stacey.
“Oh yeah? What makes you think that?” another girl replied.
“Because we’ve done everything else. I know he wants to fuck me. He’s hard every time I’m around,”
I had to sit down on the toilet, my legs unable to hold my shuddering body.
“How is he?”
“Amazing! Of course, I taught him everything he knows. His cock is fucking huge, Mallory! It would definitely hit all the right spots, I can barely take half of it in my mouth.”
My hand rose to my lips, swallowing down the bile that threatened to escape.
“He’s a dirty boy, too, the shit that comes out of his mouth when he’s fingering me and I’m sucking his dick, Jesus! He’s ruined me for other guys.” They laughed, loud and throaty.
“Tonight’s the night. I know it. I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you all about it.”
I heard them walk out the door and it rattled when it closed. My body instinctively spun and heaved up everything I had eaten and drank. It came out in one swift motion of opening my mouth, disposing of the toxic words that I overheard.
Over and over again until there was nothing left inside of me, including my heart. I spit into the toilet and wiped my lips with the back of my hand. Opening the door, I went right for the sink to splash cold water all over my face, hoping that it would hide the truth that I had been denying for the last several years.
I’d been lying to myself and to everyone around me. It was all a dream, a hope. It was a young girl's fantasy.
Lucas wasn’t mine.
And he had never been. I stood there for a long time, dreading the reflection that would be staring back at me. I avoided the mirror and walked out of the bathroom instead, finding them immediately. I watched Stacey lead Lucas out of the restaurant and onto the beach.
I was no longer the girl waiting.
I was now...
Broken
Stacey walked beside me on the beach, hugging her body firmly around my arm. Her attempts of trying to hold my hand over the last few years were taxing, and she finally gave up. It was dark out, but the full moon illuminated the entire beach, producing a soft glow around us. No one was on the beach. We were alone.
“Come on,” she baited, pulling me under the pier. She laid a towel on the sand, laying her body in the middle propped up on her elbows.
Peeking up at me through her lashes, “Don’t you want your birthday present?” she rasped, spreading her legs open, showing me she wasn’t wearing any panties.
I watched her every move. Stacey was never subtle, and it only made things much easier for me.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I reminded her, sounding like an asshole, but I’d rather she knew what she was about to get herself into than lie.
I would fuck her if she let me but that’s all it would be. Nothing more, nothing less.
“I know,” she stated with hooded eyes and a confident demeanor.
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I do.”
Reaching for my hand she lured me onto the towel, sitting her body on top of my hard dick. I gripped her waist when she started to gyrate
her hips in a back and forth motion, leaning forward, close to my face.
“That feel good?” she teased, swaying her hips slower and steadier.
“It would feel better inside you.”
She seductively smiled and slid down my body, stopping when her face was in front of my zipper. Grinning up at me with glazed eyes she unbuttoned my pants and then lowered the zipper, freeing my cock and putting it into her awaiting mouth. I watched her suck my dick like she had something to prove, enjoying the sensation she stirred in my balls. She unwrapped a condom and placed it on the tip of my head, rolling it down in one swift movement. Confirming what I already knew, she used me as much as I did her.
She climbed up my body with a slow, steady stride, till she hovered above me waiting for me to make the next move. I didn’t falter. Grabbing my cock I angled it toward her opening. My eyes shut as I clutched her hips, gliding her down my shaft, making my head roll and my back arch. The feeling was indescribable, way better than having her mouth wrapped around me. With my eyes closed it made it easier to pretend she was someone else, even though I knew she wasn’t who I desperately wanted her to be.
I felt her lips on my throat, licking and sucking all over, intensifying the sensitivity of being balls deep for the first time. I groaned loud and hard. Panting and trying to control the pace of her riding me, she took it as a sign to move faster, grabbing the back of my neck for good measure. She wanted me to look at her. I could feel her sex driven glare on my face. She moaned louder and heavier when I didn’t open my eyes, kissing my mouth, beckoning me to open.
I didn’t, pulling my face away.
It fueled her fire to work me over harder and more demanding, each sway of her calculated hips hitting every spot that drove me closer and closer to release. I couldn’t hold back any longer, it felt too fucking good.
“I’m going to come,” I huskily groaned.
“So come.”
I came so fucking hard I saw stars behind my eyes, my body spasmed uncontrollably. Every inch of me perspired. My chest heaved as I lay there catching my breath and steadying my heart. After this experience it only made me want Alex more. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like with her.
