“Deal.”
We both wrote in silence.
Not for long though.
I finished a few sentences before she did.
“Read,” she said to me.
It was getting a little more comfortable to do that in front of Miss Whitaker.
I cleared my throat like I was giving the greatest speech of all time.
“The road, it did end. Look away, look away, please. I can’t breathe, near you.”
Miss Whitaker nodded. “Not bad.”
“Your turn,” I said.
Miss Whitaker leaned back in her chair again. “Why don’t we just speak? Like the rain to the ocean. Don’t tell me it’s tears.”
“Not bad,” I said.
Miss Whitaker crumpled up her paper and threw it out.
I grabbed the paper and threw it at her. “My one rule… keep everything. Even if it’s shit. Which that wasn’t.”
The door opened and in poured a bunch of people.
I got away from Miss Whitaker before she could say something to me.
She held up both hands, wiggling all ten her of fingers.
I pushed my way out of her room, smiling.
She knew how to calm the world.
I turned to my right and saw Ash again.
Standing at the end of the hallway.
I shook my head.
Fuck this.
I walked toward him.
“If you walk away again, I swear on my life I will never talk to you again.”
Ash didn’t move.
I was able to walk right up to him.
I called his bluff and he called mine.
And I was the one speechless.
I licked my lips.
His amber eyes tore through me.
“Ash,” I said. “What you did to Chester…”
He curled his lip.
I jumped up to my toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for doing that.”
I turned and Ash grabbed my arm right at my elbow.
His tight grip sent chills through my body.
Head to fucking toe.
“Come for a ride with me, angel.”
“Oh, look, you finally talk. Didn’t realize you had a voice still.”
Ash pulled me closer to him.
His cologne was amazing.
The opposite of leather and smoke, huh, Belle?
My heart sank a little.
There was no way to compare Ash to Hil. Or Ash to Uly. Or Uly to Hil.
They were all so different.
And that’s what makes this decision so hard…
I shook my head.
There’s no decision.
“Don’t shake your head at me,” Ash said.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“You owe me.”
I laughed. “So you went after Chester to get a favor out of me? That’s pathetic, Ash.”
“I will punch the next person I see if you don’t come with me.”
“Don’t give me that tough guy shit. Not after what you all did. What was the point of that if you were all just going to show up to help me?”
Ash looked to his left.
I looked and there was someone walking toward us.
Some guy.
Wireless earbuds in his ears.
Walking with his head down.
“Don’t make me hurt this guy,” Ash said.
“You wouldn’t,” I said.
Ash let me go.
He started to walk toward the guy.
“Holy shit,” I said. “Ash! Stop it!”
He looked back at me.
He wanted me to say I was going to go with him.
I gave him my most rich bitch look I could muster up.
The guy was getting closer.
Ash moved again.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
I cupped my hands to my mouth to yell for the guy, but I didn’t know his name. And he was listening to music. He had no idea…
I took a few steps and stopped.
Ash swung a right hook that made my stomach curdle.
I covered my mouth.
The guy’s head snapped to the side.
His wireless earbuds went through the air… or maybe that was his teeth…
He fell into a locker and crumbled to the ground, holding his face.
And Ash, being Ash, he just kept walking.
He looked back at me and called out, “I’ll keep going, angel…”
“I’ll go with you!” I yelled. “Just stop! I’ll go with you!”
Ash spun right around and walked back toward me.
I was so pissed at him.
No.
I hated him.
Hated. Him.
At least with Hil or Uly I knew what I was getting. I could somehow handle those two. But with Ash…
He was protective one second and then knocking random dudes on their ass the next.
Ash put his hand out for me to take.
I looked at the bright colors of his tattoos and sighed.
I put my hand into his.
He led the way toward the door.
“You’re an asshole for that,” I said. “It’s like I hit that guy.”
“Good,” Ash said.
“Good? Why is it good?”
Ash punched opened the door and looked at me. “He made a force it list.”
“What?”
“His name is Marcus. And he made a list of girls he would force…”
“That’s horrible,” I said.
“You were on that list, angel. He and his little shit buddies thought it would be cool to each have a copy. And then see who they could force…”
I swallowed hard. “So that was… you knew he was going to be walking there…”
Ash nodded.
He was terrifying, bold, and maybe the hottest guy I had ever met.
And everyone he hit had it coming to them.
Then again, what did my innocent heart ever do to him?
Because it was taking a beating… and not in the normal thump-thump way.
four
I felt stupid that it took me as long as it did to realize Ash was driving me back to my old town. And then it took me another five minutes to get the courage to ask what the hell he was doing there.
Two words were fired back at me.
You’ll see.
As we crossed into the old, shit town I called home, Ash stopped at a red light. I looked down the street to my left and felt everything coming back to me. Leaving class early because of the red V on my locker. Finding my mother all messed up. The cops. Ambulance. Jo…
The light turned green and Ash hit the pedal and cut the wheel to the left.
He cut off a car to cut across the lane that wasn’t his.
A horn blared and then the car sped up and started to ride the bumper of Ash’s truck.
“Tell me when,” Ash said.
“For what?”
“For whatever is down this street, angel.”
I was in no mood for any more games, so I just pointed to the apartment building.
Ash slowed and came to a complete stop right in the middle of the street.
“That’s the place?” Ash asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Where my life changed. Not sure if it was for the better.”
Ash looked at me and curled his lip.
He parted his lips and the car behind us beeped.
And beeped.
And beeeeeeped.
Ash threw open his door and jumped out of the truck.
“Ash! No!”
I turned and watched through the tinted windows as Ash walked to the car.
The driver’s door opened and as someone started to get out, Ash kicked the car door. The door bounced off the guy driving the car. He let out a scream and grabbed for his arm. Ash then opened the door and with one right punch, he hit the window and made it shatter.
I gasped.
Ash then walked back to the truck and got back inside b
ehind the wheel.
His right hand was cut up, blood started to run down the back of his hand.
“Uh… Ash…”
“I have a bag in the back,” he said. “Get me a t-shirt. It’s fine.”
I reached into the backseat of the truck, my stomach jumping, my heart racing.
I got him a shirt and he wrapped it around his knuckles and started to drive again.
As I sat back in the seat, I couldn’t believe how turned on I was.
What the fuck is wrong with you, Belle? How can that turn you on? It’s not some movie or some biker show, okay? This is real life. Real fucking life. He just attacked someone for beeping… just like he attacked the guy in the hallway… just like he attacked Chester… just like he…
I looked at Ash. “You’re fucking crazy, Ash.”
Ash looked at me. “You make me crazy, angel.”
I sucked in a breath and couldn’t remember how to exhale.
He drove through the rest of town in silence.
He started to get close to the old building I once called school and my heart raced again.
“Ash…”
“Not here,” he said. “But close enough.”
He turned and cruised by the main parking lot.
He circled around to the back lot.
We always called it the secret lot because of how overgrown and shitty it was. There were always rumors about junkies sleeping in the grass. And someone started a story of how someone stepped on a used needle and died.
It was the perfect spot to hide to ditch class. Or get high. Or take someone for a little fun in the backseat of your car.
Gray showed me the spot.
He had his own parking spot.
And while we didn’t get to the backseat, things happened.
Ash came to a stop.
“There,” he said.
“There what?” I asked.
Ash sat up straight and motioned for me to climb over him.
I rolled my eyes and leaned toward him.
I didn’t know what he…
My breath was gone again.
Ash brought me all the way here to show me that Gray was sitting in his favorite parking spot. In his car that was the nicest of the shitty cars. His right arm was stretched across the passenger seat. His head back.
I swallowed hard.
“Keep watching, Belle,” Ash whispered.
I was so close to Ash… smelling his cologne…
Watching Gray.
Gray looked down for a second and then put his head back. He moved his hand from the passenger seat to his forehead. Then he made a fist and bit it.
I gasped.
I knew what was happening.
And I couldn’t believe I was watching it.
Like I really gave a fuck that Gray was getting off by some whore…
I started to get angry.
“This is pointless,” I said to Ash.
Ash didn’t say anything.
I started to move back when I saw movement in the car.
I was hooked again.
The some whore lifted her head from between Gray’s legs. She sat back in the passenger seat and touched her jaw.
“See it yet?” Ash asked.
I felt all color leave my face.
It wasn’t just some whore.
It was my best friend… it was Sarah… with my ex…
* * *
“At the very least he should keep napkins in his car,” Ash said.
I told myself ten times to sit back in my seat and look forward.
But I couldn’t do that.
It was Sarah.
It was Gray.
My best friend Sarah. The one who was always there for me. The one who… she hated Gray. She called him ‘Grayson… the Assholeson.’
She did everything possible to talk me out of being with him. Being near him. And even the morning after Gray and I… were together… Sarah was mad at me, but she stayed by my side in case I regretted it.
Which I never really did.
And the day of the red V…
“Silent anger is the worst kind, angel,” Ash said.
My eyes stayed on Sarah and Gray for a little longer.
They were talking.
Just casually talking.
Normally if Gray took someone to his parking spot, it was about getting down to business and getting out of there. Except when he and I went there… we talked. We talked for a really long time. And actually, by talking with Gray there, I started to believe he might have been a normal guy. Which was my own fault for buying into it.
I should have…
I finally turned my attention away from Sarah and Gray.
I looked at Ash. “You’re an asshole.”
“Me? Why me? What did I do?”
“Why… how…”
Ash touched my face with his left hand. His fingers were beautifully long, his thumb able to stroke under my bottom lip while the tips of his fingers dug into my hair.
“Any doubt,” Ash said. “You leave it right here, Belle.”
“And what doubt is that? You worried I might leave BFH without making my decision?”
Ash curled his lip. “This has nothing to do with decisions. Just look at the truth.”
“I’ve been trying to look at the truth, Ash. You don’t make it so easy.”
“I just did. You’re welcome.”
I moved my eyes back to Sarah and Gray.
Now Sarah was leaning across the front seat. Again. But she wasn’t dipping her head down like before. This time she put her head on Gray’s shoulder. And whatever the fuck he was saying, she was loving it. Laughing. That whore mouth of hers open as she laughed…
“It’s okay to feel it, angel,” Ash said. “And it’s not completely what you think either.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“I already told you that.”
“How did you know this? How did you know about… what he did…”
Ash moved my face so my eyes met his again. “The question is what do you want to do now, angel? We can’t drive away. We can’t leave this as the unknown.”
“So you want me to be like you? Get out of the truck and smash some windows?”
“I never said that, but I’m not against it.”
“You’re worse than Them,” I whispered. “Worse than Hil and Uly combined.”
“Don’t bring up their names to distract me from what’s happening right now. It’s not going to work, Belle. This is all real right here. All of it.”
“Tell me how.”
“What are you going to do about it first?”
I grabbed Ash’s wrist and pulled his hand from my face.
I sat back in my seat and swallowed hard.
“It doesn’t matter what I do,” I said. “That’s their decision. Whatever bullshit Gray fed Sarah, she bought into it. And if this is their version of happiness, then I’m fine with it.”
“Do you really mean that?”
I turned my head and stared at Ash again.
He wasn’t the devil on my shoulder. No way. Because there was no angel on my other shoulder. Ash was the devil in my heart. The devil all over my body.
“No, I don’t fucking mean that,” I said. “Drive over there right now, Ash.”
Ash grinned and reached into the backseat area of his truck.
I heard a clang clang noise as he shook his hand.
He showed me a can of spray paint.
“What the fuck are you going to do, Ash?” I asked.
He held up the can. “Obviously paint something, angel.”
* * *
It was complete madness as Ash circled around to get to the only opening to the shitty parking lot. Once he was inside, he slammed on the gas pedal and sped forward toward Gray’s car. When he started to go too fast, I grabbed the sides of the seats.
“Ash… Ash… Ash…”
My voice got louder each time I said his name.
I
watched as Gray looked at us and the look on his face was worth the risk of causing a potentially deadly accident.
Ash dropped the can of spray paint and reached across the seat for me. He put his arm out, against my chest, holding me against the seat as he locked up the brakes on the truck. The truck screamed and skidded to a stop.
“Let’s go, angel,” Ash said.
He got out of the truck.
Without hesitation, he jumped up on the hood of Gray’s shitty car.
I scrambled to get out of the truck.
My focus… what do I do?
I wanted to punch Gray. Slap Sarah. Pull Ash off the hood of the car.
When Gray saw me, his eyes went wide and he put the window down. He didn’t even have the balls to get out of the car. Then again, just looking at Ash, Gray knew he would be destroyed in a second.
And Ash just stood on the hood of the car.
“Belle?” Gray called out.
I approached the car and crouched so I could see Sarah.
She looked at me, her face a deep shade of red.
I touched the corner of my mouth. “You have something there, Sarah. Something you forgot to swallow.”
Sarah was dumb enough to wipe her mouth.
She opened her door and got out of the car.
“Belle, wait a second,” she yelled for me. “You have to let me explain what this is.”
“I saw what I saw,” I said.
“But it’s different.”
“Different,” I said. “You know what, Sarah… just tell me one thing. Before or after me?”
“Belle, I swear on my life it was after. I went after him. Okay? You can ask Gray himself. I went after his ass. Not like that. I wanted to get him back. I slashed one of his tires. I broke into his car and hid food so it would smell. I spread rumors. I attacked him for you.”
“Wow,” I said. “You went from attacking his car to attacking his co-”
“Please,” Sarah said. “We confronted each other and started talking.”
“Just talking, huh?” I asked.
“She gets it now, Belle,” Gray said.
“Gets what?” I asked.
“Who you are. That all you ever tried to do was be this pretend innocent thing. It was exhausting to watch. It still is.”
I looked at Sarah again.
She bit her bottom lip. “I told you so many times to stop worrying about it…”
I moved my eyes to Ash.
When I nodded, he crouched down.
“What the fuck are you doing, Ash?” Gray yelled.
NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel Page 4
