“I’m not letting go of the dog!”
He swore under his breath and took another step back, kicking at the door. Fortunately it had a hollow core, and after the third kick he heard it splinter and crack. Then he used his shoulder again and was finally able to bust enough of the door that he could start ripping it apart.
“Okay,” she said. “That should do.” He reached in to steady her as she squirmed through the door, the struggling dog firmly hugged against her. “We need to get it to a crate before it stresses itself out any worse.”
He refused to let go of her, keeping a hand on her arm, shoulder, or resting on her waist, until they reached the kitchen. Lisa was waiting at the third crate, and closed it after Essie got the dog safely inside.
The other two dogs, who’d both calmed down, seemed happy to see their compatriot.
Josh ripped his face mask off. “What the hell was that? You could have been hurt!”
She ripped her mask off. “It took me too damn long to get hold of it. I wasn’t about to let go once I did because it wouldn’t have given me another chance!”
He stepped close, into her face. “You could have been hurt!” he yelled again, worry now flooding to relief that she was safe.
“And I wasn’t leaving it there!”
Their eyes locked. Before he realized what he was doing, despite how grungy both their overalls now were, he grabbed her by the back of the neck and kissed her, hard, possessively. He wrapped his other arm around her waist, refusing to let her go.
There was only the briefest resistance on her part before she melted against him, kissing him back.
Oooohhh fuck. But he didn’t stop kissing her, not until he’d satisfied himself that she was all right.
From the way she kissed him back, apparently she was all right.
Very all right.
Then she tucked her face against him and burst into tears. At first he thought maybe it was because of him kissing her, when logic took over.
She was clinging to him, sobbing.
He held her as best he could, softly soothing her. “It’s okay,” he said. “You did good. You did a good thing. I was just scared for you. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“I know. It’s just…that could have been my parents’ house. Those poor dogs…”
It was relief hitting her, the adrenaline crash. He’d seen subs post-scene have a cathartic cry and recognized this was along those lines.
He’d stand there holding her as long as she needed him to. Be a rock for her.
“They’re safe now, because of you,” he soothed. “You did good. They’re going to be all right. This is a good thing.”
It was the sound of Lisa clearing her throat that finally brought him back to reality a few minutes later. “Um, how did you want to load the crates in your truck?”
Josh gave Essie one final, silent kiss, hoping she understood the message he wanted to send her.
Mine.
Only then did he release her and step away, taking a deep breath. “I think there’s a box of tissues in my truck,” he said. “Go take a minute for yourself. Then let’s get these guys loaded and the cargo net secured over them before we take off these.” He tugged at his coveralls. “I have more so we can put fresh ones on at the vet’s office.”
He pulled her close and dropped his voice. “You ever do anything like that again and risk getting yourself hurt, I’ll spank your ass. Understand me?”
Wide-eyed, she nodded. “Okay,” she softly said.
He wanted to correct her, to draw a “Yes, Sir” out of her, but didn’t push it.
If she knew what he and his brothers were, and she wasn’t fighting him off, maybe there was a chance for them with her.
If they could prove to her how good it could be with them.
* * * *
Several hours later, Essie stood under a scalding hot shower in the guest bath at Ross and Loren’s house and vigorously scrubbed herself from head to toe. It was late afternoon and heavy thunderstorms had shut down the operation at her mom’s for the rest of the day.
Her mom, however, was still busy sorting things and cleaning the kitchen.
The vet’s office had been crazy busy since it was a Monday, so Essie had offered to shave the two matted dogs in the parking lot. With Josh and Lisa helping her hold them, she shaved the mats off the two longer-haired dogs while the staff bathed the short-haired one and got it ensconced in a cage in their kennel. After disposing of their second set of protective coveralls and accepting teary hugs of gratitude from Lisa, Essie and Josh had returned to Essie’s mom’s house.
They didn’t talk. She didn’t want to, too overwhelmed processing everything that had happened to speak yet. She suspected he felt that way, too, his silence not feeling chilly in the slightest.
She couldn’t believe she’d broken down in tears. She could cry over a scare and over neglected dogs, but still found it hard to cry over her father?
What’s wrong with me?
In fact, she kept replaying Josh’s threat in her mind, the protective, territorial tone in his voice when he’d threatened to spank her.
She had no doubts he meant it.
What shocked her was that she hadn’t recoiled. In fact, even thinking about it again had made her wet.
Well, it answered my question about whether or not Josh likes me.
Josh had left after dropping her off when Purson, who’d been helping his crew pack their gear, told him work was shut down for the day due to the storms.
I need to talk with Josh. She wouldn’t force it today, though. She suspected he needed as much time to process things as she did.
Ross had gone to work that afternoon, leaving Loren alone at home. When Essie finally emerged from the shower after using up most of the hot water, she towel-dried her hair and got dressed. Then she took her filthy clothes to the utility room and set the washer to hot, running them through without any other laundry to contaminate.
“Can I make you something to eat?” Loren asked when Essie returned to the kitchen.
At first she wanted to refuse, but at the thought of food her stomach grumbled. “I was going to say no, that I wanted to check on Mom, but maybe I should eat.” She slid onto a barstool at the counter. “I feel luckier than ever now.”
“Why’s that?”
“It was…” She couldn’t suppress her shudder. “Horrible. TV shows don’t do that kind of stuff justice.”
Loren’s nose wrinkled. “That bad, huh?”
“Let’s put it this way. Compare your house to what Mom’s house was like. Well, now think about Mom’s house being the equivalent of your house, and then compare that to the house we were at this morning. That drastic.”
Loren’s eyes widened. “Holy crap.”
“Three dogs.” She studied her hands. “I guess my motto through all of this needs to be, ‘It could always be worse.’”
Loren heated her up a plate of leftover lasagna and poured her a glass of iced tea. “Feel like talking about it?”
She wasn’t going to, at first, but then the story spilled out of her.
Before she realized what she was saying, she mentioned Josh’s kiss.
Loren’s playful smile startled her. “He likes you. Nothing wrong with that.”
Heat filled Essie’s face. “I guess. Can I tell you something else?”
“Of course.”
She admitted kissing Mark. And her growing feelings for Ted, along with his admission that he liked her.
Loren didn’t seem shocked in the slightest. Instead, she looked amused. “I don’t see a problem here.”
“You don’t? Three guys? Brothers? Not like I could choose.”
“Then don’t. They’ve been poly before. Poly’s not my thing. Then again, Sir’s very territorial. You’re a single adult. They’re single adults. Have some fun. Who knows? You might enjoy it. Wouldn’t hurt to talk to them about it.”
Essie had expected pretty much any other advice except th
at.
“I don’t live here.”
“No, but it doesn’t mean you can’t experiment with them if they’re willing. It doesn’t even have to be sex. Ask them to play with you. I can vouch for their skills. I’ve seen them play many times before. They’re good Tops and Doms.”
Essie forked a bite of lasagna into her mouth to avoid answering.
She didn’t fool Loren in the slightest. The other woman playfully smiled. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
“I’m supposed to be helping my mom,” she finally answered.
“Yes, and you have been. But you need to decompress a little through this whole process or you’ll have a meltdown. Consider it stress relief.”
Stress relief, hmm?
Their conversation was cut short by her mom returning. “Well, I feel better now. Ready to start again tomorrow.” Essie thought her mom looked ten years younger than the night she’d arrived at Ross and Loren’s house.
Happier, for sure.
At peace.
Essie opted to leave the pondering for later and focus on her mom. It was what she should do, a good daughter’s duty, to make up for lost time.
* * * *
Josh stood under the water and let it sluice the filth and stench off him. No matter how many times he’d handled a hoarding case involving animals, it never got easier.
I hope I didn’t piss her off.
He couldn’t believe he’d threatened to spank her, especially in front of someone else, but adrenaline had been flooding through him after getting Essie safely outside.
Considering how emotionally charged the whole situation was, it’d be better to talk to her, alone.
When he made it out to the kitchen, he found Mark and Ted waiting for him.
“What?”
“What happened today?” Ted asked. “Tell us.”
Knowing he was about to get reamed out, he told them, not leaving out any details.
Mark scowled. “You’re lucky she didn’t get hurt. I would have beaten your ass.”
Ted lightly backhanded Mark on the shoulder to silence him. “Tread lightly, guys. Okay?”
“You like her, too,” Josh shot back. “Who are you to tell us that?”
“It’s exactly why I’m telling you that,” he said. “Need I remind you about sub frenzy? We don’t need her regretting anything later on. If it’s meant to be with her, it will happen. Take it slow.” He pushed past them both and headed to his room, where they heard him shut the door. He’d brought some of his belongings over that afternoon from his apartment after rain shut down the Barrone job.
“Did I cross a line with her today?” Josh asked Mark.
He leaned against the counter. “Yeah, but I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t have done exactly the same thing in your shoes, so I don’t hold it against you. I’m willing to bet big bro doesn’t, either.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Josh muttered.
“Let it go,” Mark said. “Maybe we can talk to her tomorrow without film crews around.” He headed down the hall to his room, leaving Josh alone in the kitchen.
He wanted to call Essie, talk to her, but wasn’t sure that was the right thing, either.
Instead, after he ate dinner, he opted to go lie down and catch up on his sleep. Exhaustion had set in and he knew that wasn’t the best mental state to conduct a heavy conversation. When he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help but replay the scene in his mind, even with the gross circumstances, of having Essie in his arms and deliciously pressed against him.
I hope I didn’t fuck things up.
Chapter Sixteen
Tuesday went smoothly. Essie was relieved when Josh told her he’d received a call from Lisa Parker. The three dogs were doing well. They’d been vetted, wormed, given their shots, and microchipped. They still needed dental work, and then they’d go home with her. Fortunately, they’d already been spayed or neutered, the short-haired dog a male and the two others female.
Essie was glad to hear the woman was going to keep them instead of uprooting them to yet another home. At least this way maybe Lisa’s mom could visit with her dogs. Essie knew the elderly woman likely did love them, that the neglect wasn’t deliberate.
Deliberate or not, the effect was the same. The woman would never live alone again.
After a full day of working, getting the kitchen nearly emptied except for stuff that belonged there, and an on-site visit from the investigator to check on their progress, Essie was exhausted by the time Mark called it a day a little before six that evening.
A shower, dinner, and a quick phone call with Amy didn’t leave Essie feeling any more relaxed or centered. Not with her thoughts constantly turning to the three Collins brothers.
She felt like she was about to lose her mind. Between the disruption of her normal, calm, peaceful routine, the temporary displacement from home, the grief she didn’t seem able to adequately express or expunge, and the stress of her mental confusion over what she was feeling for the three men, it felt like she’d been ripped out of her tidy, cherished reality and dumped into a surrealist painting.
And she hated that.
She didn’t consider herself OCD, because she’d chosen her life, rigidly controlled it as much as possible, but could make changes as necessary. She wasn’t a slave to her routines.
But her father’s untimely demise, while an unexpected boon for her mother’s life, had completely upended her own.
Even after a second hot shower she knew she didn’t need she hadn’t relaxed.
I have to get away and think and process.
She grabbed her purse and the keys to her rental car. “I need to go out for a few hours,” she told Loren, who was on the sofa and watching TV. “I’m sorry, I hope that’s not a bother? I don’t want to disrupt you guys any more than I already have.”
Loren kindly smiled. “Need some alone time after yesterday?”
Relieved that she understood, Essie nodded. “Yes. Exactly. It was…intense.”
“Don’t worry. If you’re not back before we go to bed, we’ll leave the front door unlocked. Just lock it when you come in.”
“Thank you.” She swooped in for a quick hug before practically sprinting out the front door.
She didn’t know where she wanted to go. She pointed the car west, thinking about maybe just heading out to Siesta Key to sit and stare at the Gulf for a while. It’d be nice to stare at the ocean. Meditate under the stars.
It was one of the few things Essie missed about living in Florida. Yes, she could drive over to the Washington coast and see the Pacific Ocean, but it was different than the Gulf. It wasn’t as serene on a calm, starry night like tonight.
Instead however, as her mind churned through what she’d learned about the men in the past couple of days, she found herself driving toward Mark and Josh’s house. Even when she pulled into their driveway and shut the car off, she still wasn’t sure why she was there.
It wasn’t just about the animal hoarding case she’d helped with.
I guess there’s only one way to find out.
Locking the car, she headed up their front walk.
* * * *
Ted closed his eyes and tried to relax. It was weird living in this room again. An alien familiarity. Things not quite the same, but not quite different, either. Except that now Mark had the master bedroom, while Josh had the bedroom he’d shared with Mark while growing up all to himself.
Then again, living alone wasn’t everything he’d thought it’d be, either. It was okay for a few days here and there, but being alone all the time had proved…well, lonely. More lonely than he cared to admit to anyone, especially his two younger brothers.
Out in the living room, he heard Mark ask, “Who’s that?”
“I don’t know,” Josh replied.
He was about to open his eyes when he heard the doorbell ring.
Okay, no meditation for the muddle-minded, I guess.
Sitting up, he swung his legs over the side of
the bed and sat there for a moment. Being around Essie hadn’t helped him maintain his center.
Damned if he wasn’t attracted to her. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t. Especially when she’d outright asked him about the BDSM and hadn’t flinched when he’d honestly answered her questions.
She was a strong, willful woman, used to rigidly controlling her life. And that she was as desperately alone as he was became painfully clear the more he talked to her.
Yet she likely would never admit it to herself, much less anyone else.
He heard the front door open and Mark’s surprised sounding greeting. “Hey. What’s up?”
It was the sound of Essie’s voice that set his feet in motion before he even realized he was up and heading for his bedroom door.
“I’m sorry to drop by unannounced like this. May I come in?”
“Of course.”
Ted yanked the bedroom door open. Belatedly, he realized he was only wearing a pair of running shorts, but screw it. She was just stepping inside the front door when he reached the foyer.
“Hey,” he said, sliding to a stop, heart pounding.
Her eyes locked with his. “Hi.”
Every logical reason he had for not getting involved with her flew right out the damn window when he stared into her eyes.
Fuck. I’m so screwed.
She looked from him, to Josh, to Mark. If he had to guess, the concern on her face was due to sheer nerves. “Can I talk with you guys about something?”
“About your mom?” Mark asked.
She shook her head a little, both hands holding on to her purse. “No,” she softly said. “About the other…stuff.”
It clicked home for Ted. “BDSM.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.
Now her gaze dropped to the tile floor. “Yeah,” she quietly said. “That.”
“Oh,” Mark and Josh said together.
Idiots. Both of them.
“Sure,” he said, reaching a hand out to her. “Anything you want.”
After only a brief hesitation, she took his hand. That gave him hope, that maybe there was trust there.
A Clean Sweep Page 16
