THIS book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the authors' imagination or are used factiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Unspeakable
Copyright ©2014 Michelle K. Pickett
All rights reserved.
ISBN 978-1-63422-019-4
Cover Design by: Marya Heiman
Typography by: Courtney Nuckels
Editing by: Cynthia Shepp
For Bre’Anna, Evan, Aleigha, and Alana.
You are loved.
For more information about our content disclosure,
please utilize the QR code above with your smart phone or visit us at
www.CleanTeenPublishing.com.
If you press me to say why I loved him,
I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
~Michel de Montaigne
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Epilogue
Playlist
A Note From Michelle
About the Author
Acknowledgements
Breathe. No one will break me. I’m strong. Breathe. Just breathe.
It wasn’t always that way. Him. Us. I knew people wondered. But it used to be different. It was sweet, loving, and everything a girl wanted from a boy. But he learned my secret and in that second, he wasn’t my wonderful, perfect boyfriend anymore.
He was my jailer.
I watched Jaden celebrate on the field with the rest of the football team. Another victory—the Cougars were on their way to another undefeated season. Jaden stuffed his blue-and-gold helmet under his arm and jogged across the football field. He swiped a bundle of red roses off the team’s bench as he passed. He’d had roses there for me the first time I ever went to watch him play.
I waited at the fifty-yard line after the game just as Jaden had asked. Sweat dripped off the ends of his dirty-blond hair and his cheeks were still flushed from running the last play, but he stood in front of me and butterflies swarmed in my belly. Bright, beautiful butterflies. Fluttering their multi-colored wings, tickling me on the inside.
“These are for you.” He held out ten magnificent, long-stemmed red roses tied in a shimmering, white ribbon. “Um, I made sure there were no thorns.” A small smile tipped the corners of his lips, giving me a tiny glimpse of his dimples.
I sucked in a breath. “They’re so pretty, Jaden, thank you.” I took the roses from him. Goose bumps ran up my spine like someone had tickled me with a feather, and my fingers trembled when I grazed them over the velvety petals. “But shouldn’t I be the one buying you something? You just won the game.” I peeked at him through my lashes.
Jaden shook his head slightly and wiped away the sweat on his forehead with his arm. “No. I had to buy something for my good-luck charm. Something beautiful for the most gorgeous girl here.”
I felt my cheeks warm and couldn’t help my nervous giggle when he slid a lock of hair behind my ear. Crossing one foot over the other, I brought the flowers to my nose. “Why ten?” I asked, my nose buried in the blooms. Ten seemed an unusual number, not that I minded.
“I read on the internet that red roses were for love, and ten meant you’re perfect.”
“Oh,” I breathed just before his lips descended on mine.
After that night, at the end of every game, he’d meet me at the fifty-yard line and give me ten long-stemmed red roses.
“Hey.” His voice brought my thoughts back to the present, and he leaned in for a kiss. “Some game, huh?” He pressed the flowers into my hand. A thorn bit into the soft flesh of my palm, and I winced.
“Yeah, you were great.” I knew that was what he really wanted to hear.
He gave me one of his swoon-worthy smiles before jogging toward the school. “I have to shower. Wait for me in the car,” he called over his shoulder before grabbing a scrawny kid by the arm. “Do you have money?” he asked him. He shook the kid’s arm to punctuate his question.
“Ye…yeah,” the kid answered.
“Good, buy her a Coke.” Jaden shoved the boy toward me, almost knocking him over.
Rushing forward, I outstretched my arms to catch the boy before he fell face-first in the mud. I frowned at Jaden’s retreating back. “Are you okay?” I asked the boy.
“Yeah. Here.” He shoved two wadded-up bills at me.
“No, no, you don’t have to buy me anything to drink. Don’t listen to him.” I shook my head, pushing the money away.
“Ha! Yes, I do. I don’t want him handing me my ass.” The boy’s eyes were wide as he shoved the money at me. It fluttered to the ground when he turned and jogged away. He acted like I had the bubonic plague. It was close. I dated Jaden.
I looked at the ground where the money had fallen. With a sigh, I knelt to pick it up just as a black boot landed on top of the two bills. I jerked my hand away and looked up into blue eyes so bright they seemed to glow in the darkness. The owner of the eyes squatted next to me.
“Yours?” the guy asked.
“No… I mean, not really…” I looked for the kid who gave it to me, but he’d already disappeared into the crowd. I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
His lips twitched into an amused grin. A lock of dark hair fell over his forehead. “Well, I’m glad we cleared that up.” He picked the money out of the mud, wiping it across the leg of his black jeans before he stood and handed the bills to me. “There you go.”
“Thanks. I’m Willow.”
“Brody. See you around, Willow.”
“Who’s that?” a voice boomed behind me, and I stumbled forward.
“Jeez, Karen, don’t sneak up on people like that.”
“I wasn’t sneaking. You were preoccupied staring at the Scooby snack.” She smiled and quirked a pierced eyebrow, colored black to match the black stripes in her long, blonde hair.
“No, I wasn’t.” I could feel the blush creeping over my cheeks and was glad we were standing in the shadows so she couldn’t see it.
“Whatever. Personally, I don’t give two shits if you look, but you’d better not let Jaden see you scoping out some random guy.”
“You’re seeing things. I wasn’t looking at anyone.” I stuffed the money into my pocket.
Maybe I can find the kid at school and give it back to him.
“I’m supposed to make sure you’re waiting at Jaden’s car.” Karen linked her arm around mine and pulled me toward the parking lot.
“What, you’re his personal spy and wrangler now?” I rolled my eyes. “I was on my way to his car. It’s not like he’s gonna hurry or anything. He takes longer than a girl to shower and change.”
Karen laughed. “True, but he wants you safely in the car while you wait for him
to pretty himself up for you.”
The gravel parking lot crunched under our feet as we made our way to Jaden’s car. Karen kept her arm linked with mine like we were besties. We so weren’t. I could smell the reefer in her hair and cheap liquor on her breath.
When we reached Jaden’s cherry red Mustang, I slid into it and, with a sigh, sank into the soft, black leather seats. I waited thirty minutes before Jaden sauntered out of the school and slipped into the car. He leaned over, wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, and pulled me to him for a hard kiss, his tongue invading my mouth. Lifting his head, he smirked. “Hi. Sorry it took me so long,” he murmured, his hand snaking under my shirt.
Whatever. I’m used to waiting.
“That’s okay.” I held my e-reader between us. “I read while I waited.”
“You always have your nose in a book. Live a little.” Soft lips grazed across the skin of my neck.
“It’s kind of hard to live life on the wild side while I sit in your car and wait for you to blow-dry your hair, Jaden.”
Pushing away, he glared at me. “Check the attitude.” He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, taking a left, the opposite direction of my subdivision.
“Where are you going?”
“There’s a party at Jamieson’s.”
“I’ll miss curfew. I need to go home.” My hands balled into fists in my lap. I took a deep breath to stay calm. “Just because you don’t have a curfew doesn’t mean you can ignore the fact that I do.”
“Damn it, Wills, I’ll miss half the party if I have to take you home,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Don’t call me that. I have to go home, Jaden. You know I have a curfew. Why do we have to fight about this every time we’re out?”
With a curse, he made an illegal U-turn, tires screeching against the pavement. I grabbed the dash to steady myself. He didn’t speak to me the rest of the ride, and when he pulled into my driveway ten minutes later, he shifted the car into reverse and waited for me to get out. I barely had time to shut the door before he squealed out of my drive and sped away.
Breathe. He won’t break me. Breathe. I’m stronger than he is. Breathe. Just breathe.
“Willow? Is that you?” my mom called when I walked through the door.
“Yeah.”
“Did you have a nice time at the game?” She walked around the corner and smiled at me.
I shrugged a shoulder. “I guess. We won.”
“That’s good, huh? Why the sad face, then?” She cupped my chin in her hand, lifting my face to look at her.
“Jaden. He’s mad that I couldn’t go to a party because of curfew.” I blew my hair out of my eyes.
“Oh. Well, next time, just call me. You could have gone. As long as you’re with Jaden, I know you’ll be okay.” She patted my cheek and kissed the tip of my nose.
If you only knew. “I will next time. He’ll like that.”
“Better hurry up to bed. It’s getting late,” she told me, “but try to be quiet. Ralph has another migraine.”
That was code for he drank himself into oblivion and passed out. So we tiptoed around the house and spoke in quiet voices—we did not want to wake the beast.
Nodding, I gave her a hug. “‘Night, Mom.”
I climbed the stairs and went into my bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I flipped the lock closed and tossed my things on my bed, before going into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I crawled in bed, closed my eyes, and braced myself for the nightmare that was sure to meet me in my sleep.
The same scenes played over and over in my dreams. The secret no one could know—the one Jaden used to blackmail me. The one Ralph taunted my mom with. The secret that changed our lives. No. Ruined our lives. If she’d only done something. Anything. But she just stood there and watched. Listened. And then it was over… and the real nightmare began.
Breathe. Just breathe.
“Hey, Willow, I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. I thought Jaden hated these school dances?”
I sat down next to Jenna. “Jaden didn’t come with me.” Looking at her date, I smiled. “Hi.”
He nodded in greeting. Most guys didn’t speak to me. I dated Jaden. I was off-limits, and he made sure everyone knew it—and since most people were scared of him, they stayed at a safe distance.
“Oh. He let you off the leash tonight, huh?” Jenna asked. Sarcasm laced her words.
“Something like that.” I shrugged and picked at the plastic covering on the tables set up in the gym for the school’s fall welcome back dance.
I took in my surroundings. The gym was decorated in oranges, yellows, and reds. Streamers hung from helium balloons floating overhead and brightly colored silk leaves were spread across the tables. Twinkle lights were strewn everywhere. A photographer had set up a photo booth in one of the corners, complete with bales of hay, dried cornstalks, and pumpkins.
“Who’s on the decorating committee this year? These decorations are a disaster, and the photographer’s booth looks more like a farm threw up in it than a fall scene.”
“I know, right? It’s heinous. The head of the decorating committee should be put in front of a firing squad.”
“You’re so funny.” I bumped my shoulder into Jenna’s. “You did a great job, Jenna, except for the photographer. I still say he missed the memo on the theme.” Giggling, I watched the girls perch on top of the hay bales while their dates stood next to them, waiting for their photo to be taken. All they needed was a pitchfork to hold and the look would’ve been complete.
“Yeah, well, it was either him or one of those giant, blow-up pumpkins you see in people’s yards.”
Jenna and I met in sixth grade, just after the first week of junior high. We shared a table in science class, and it didn’t take long for us to become besties. Now we shared everything—well, almost everything.
There was one thing no one knew, not even my best friend. And it had to stay that way. Only, somehow Jaden found out. The thought made bile rise in my throat, leaving a fiery trail behind. And that was why I stayed with him—so he’d keep my secret.
“Hey!” Jenna snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. “What world were you visiting?”
I looked at Jenna and smiled. With her flawless mocha skin and warm chocolate eyes, she was stunning. Her soft ringlets were styled in a perfect up-do to show off the backless soft pink, silk dress she didn’t just wear—she owned. When Jenna walked into a room, people noticed. She would dominate America’s Next Top Model. I told her she totally needed to audition for the show after graduation.
“I’m here, just looking around at everyone. No one really changed over the summer.” I waved at some friends across the gym.
“Nope. Look at Kirsten dancing with Jason. Her dress is about to ride up so high that she’s gonna give everyone a peek at what color her thong is. She’s as skanky as ever.”
I laughed. “Yup, and Jason still loves it.”
“Well, most guys are pigs. They’re probably all looking to see if they can get a peek.”
Her date huffed next to her. “I’m going to get something to drink.” His chair screeched across the floor when he stood.
“Who’s the guy?” I watched him stalk to the snack table and grab a cup of punch.
“Earl. He’s the one I told you moved down the street a few weeks ago. My ever-so-helpful mother told his mom that I’d show him around. They thought it’d be cute if we came to the dance together, so I could introduce him to people. After all, I didn’t have a date or anything.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “Sometimes, I think my mother hates me.”
“So, why aren’t you mingling so he can get to know the high school hierarchy?” I twirled my finger around the expanse of the gym.
“Because I don’t particularly want to encourage another date, so I’m trying to make this one miserable for both of us. He has the personality of a rock.” She dropped her forehead against the table, banging it several times, making t
he leaves shuffle across the plastic, orange table covering.
“Keep knocking yourself in the head like that and your personality will match your date’s. You can be rocks together,” I said with a chuckle.
Her head on the table, Jenna turned and looked at me. “At least he’s easy to look at even if he is boring as sin.”
“Not as easy as that one.” I nodded my head toward the guy standing at the door, guiding a girl out with his hand on her lower back.
“Holy rippled abs, Batman. We have a new hottie on campus.”
“Don’t get your panties in a wad, ladies.” Tim leaned his hip against our table. “That’s Brody Victor. He just transferred from Stanton High. He’s the bad boy your mamas are always warning you about. You know, the love ’em and leave ’em type. Rumor has it he’ll date you ’til he does you, and then he’ll drop you cold.” Tim shrugged a shoulder and inspected his fingernails. “At least that’s what my cousin who goes to Stanton told me. And I have it on good authority that he did her and dropped her.”
“Hey, Tim, when’d you get here?” I hugged him before he sat next to me.
“Don’t hug me. My features are too delicate. They couldn’t withstand a run in with Jaden’s fist,” he whispered, looking around the gym.
“Jaden’s not here.” I bumped my shoulder into his. “You know he doesn’t do these dances.”
“How’d you manage to get him to let you come without him?” Jenna glanced at me over the rim of her paper cup.
My gaze fell to my lap, and I mumbled, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
“No, it’ll just hurt you if he finds out.” Jenna puffed out her cheeks and let out a breath.
“Well, we’ll just make sure he doesn’t find out, chickie.” Tim smiled and patted me on the hand. His mop of brown curls fell over his forehead and into his eyes, and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from giggling. Sometimes, he reminded me of my neighbor’s labradoodle. But even with his untamed curls and puppy dog eyes, he was one of the nicest people who ever lived in my opinion. He was my closest friend, next to Jenna.
Jenna looked over her shoulder. “Karen’s here.”
Unspeakable (Freedom Series Book 1) Page 1
