by Maddie Wade
“I ain't stupid, baby bro and you are not going to see her like this.”
“Fuck you, Jake. I need to make her understand,” I say and even I can hear the belligerent child in my voice.
“Yeah, well, not like this,” he says and grabs my shoulder to guide me towards the taxi rank.
Shaking him off, I spin around and lose my balance nearly falling on my ass as I hurl insults his way.
“Fuck off, Jake. I don't need your pathetic advice. Always getting it right and looking down at the loser in love brother,” I spit angrily. I know I'm being a prick but somehow, I can’t control the bile that is coming out of my mouth.
“Is that what you think?” he asks, and I can see the hurt cross his face. I turn away from him and stumble to the taxi, a mixture of pain, regret, and anger burning in my gut. A rough hand grabs my arm and without thinking I lash out with a right hook. Landing my brother a bloody nose. He touches a hand to his face and anger darkens his features.
“Oh, it’s on baby brother. Time to teach you some manners.” Before I know it we are brawling on the floor like we are fifteen, with people watching. I stumble to my feet and swing again, wanting to hurt someone and not caring who. I hear sirens and still we carry on fighting, until we are hauled apart and cuffed.
I am being led to the police van with my brother behind me when I see her. She is standing on the corner in jeans and one of my hoodies her eyes streaked with tears as she watches me being led away.
I think I just made the single biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter 25
Ashley
I look over at Taylor as she stands next to me, rubbing my back. The man I’m in love with lied to me, has been lying to me from the start. I watch as the police put him in the back of the van with his brother, his eyes lock with mine, and I can’t help but think what else has he lied to me about.
Shaking my head, I walk back up to my apartment with Taylor next to me. “I’m sorry, I know that you liked him.” Not replying to her, I open my door, at the moment all I want is wine, a lot of wine and a cry. That’s it.
Walking over to the fridge, I grab the bottle of wine and pour myself a glass, a very big glass. “You want to talk about it?” I hear Taylor behind me, I shake my head at her again, I want to be left alone. I feel too embarrassed that I don’t want to see anyone.
“I know you mean well, but I really just want to be left alone,” I tell her, as I sit on the chair and look outside.
“Ash, I don’t want to leave you…”
“Taylor, at the moment, I don’t want to talk to anyone. All I want to do is sit here and drink my wine,” I tell her. I want to drink alone, drink to the point where I can wake up and forget this day happened, and if I can drink enough even forget meeting Jackson in the first place.
I can feel her standing there, just watching me. She doesn’t want to leave me, but she also knows me well enough to know that I really do want some time alone right now.
“I’ll open up, so don’t worry about the shop tomorrow.”
I give her a nod while refilling my glass. I hear the door close behind me, and I continue to look out the window, and think back to all our conversations. I mean, did anything pop up and I ignored it? I think this would have been something I would have picked up on straight away. I mean who has a breakup service?
Pouring the last of the wine in my glass, I walk over to grab my laptop. Sitting back down, I open up the Google page, and let my fingers move around the keys, not sure what to type in.
Eventually I type in The Heartbreaker and click search. I have a look at all the results and wonder which one is his. I want to know why he does this, I mean there must be a reason for him to something like this. I click the first link, and it opens.
It opens up with a heart, which slowly starts to break, leading me to the main page. As much as I hate this website, and what Jackson is doing, the website itself is very slick. The words at the top make me narrow my brows together. Can’t do the deed yourself then call the heartbreaker and get the job done with class.
I continue to scroll down the site, looking at what he says he will do for them, and how he will break up with a girl because the guy is too much of a pussy to do it himself.
Grabbing another bottle of wine—I need more to drink if I want to keep looking at this site—I look at the reviews left by the guys and I can’t believe how many have used him, I mean there are so many.
I click on the bottom at the link more and I look up at the box that appears. I need a password. Why the fuck do I need a password, what is behind this screen?
Pushing the laptop to the side, I grab my phone as it beeps.
Jackson: Can we talk?
I stare at the message for a moment, I can’t believe that he has the nerve to send me a message after what he's done. I go to throw my phone on the couch, but it beeps again.
Jackson: I’m sorry.
Jackson: If you can give me 5 minutes, I can explain.
Ashley: What is the password?!!!!!!
I see the dots appear then disappear. If he wants to talk, the password is a very good place to start.
Jackson: I can explain more than the password can, just please can you open door, I’m outside the shop.
I walk over to the window and see him leaning on a taxi. He looks up at me, and he’s begging me to let him in, but I know that I’m not ready to talk to him yet.
Ashley: I have nothing to say to you, so if you want to give me the password, give it to me, or leave.
I watch as he reads the text, then his head looks up at me again, and he shakes his head.
Ashley: I don’t know what is behind the password, but to you the password is more important than our relationship. I think you better leave!
Walking away from the window, I turn my phone off and turn the lights off and get into bed, I’m really not in the mood to play cat and mouse and chase him for the password, if I’m not worth fighting for then I really don’t care. Even I know that’s a lie. I care, I care a lot, but I feel cheated, I feel like my relationship with him was a lie, and at the moment I don't think I can, talk to him about anything.
KNOCK KNOCK
Looking over at the door, I crawl out of bed, if that is Jackson I’m calling the police. Peeking through the peephole and seeing who was on the other side, I open the door, “What are you doing here?” I ask Ethan as he walks into my apartment.
“I wanted to make sure that you’re okay, I mean you left so fast.” He pulls me in for a hug and holds me there for a little longer than he needs too. “You’re too good for him, and he will realise that now.”
I walk over to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. “I’ll see. I know that I’ll have to talk to him sooner or later, and…”
“And nothing Ashley, he lied to you. I mean how can he even look you in the face and…” Ethan stops and walks over to me. “You deserve better, I bet there is someone out there right now, that is perfect for you.”
I lean on the counter and drink my water and I watch Ethan leaning on the fridge watching me. There is something different about him, and I can’t put my finger on it right now.
“I need to talk to him first,” I tell Ethan.
His eyes narrow at me and I wonder what he is thinking. “I will always be here for you,” he says, my heart catches in my throat, is Ethan my stalker?
“I know you will, I appreciate that,” I tell him, walking to my bedroom. I’d left my phone in there, but Ethan follows me, and stands by the door, his expression is hard to read, and it makes me apprehensive. Something seems off, but I can’t put my finger on what, for the first time since I met Ethan I feel uncomfortable with him.
“Did...I just…” He wants to say something, but he's not, and I turn my phone on and send Taylor a quick text, telling her to come over. Just before I hit send my phone flies out of my hand, crashing into the nightstand as Ethan’s body barrels into mine. What the fuck? My hip is on fire where I smashed into the
footboard on the bed and I am pinned to the bed by Ethan. Heart beating at an alarming rate I try and twist my head to look at him.
What I see chills me to the bone, gone is the kind, funny man I know. He has been replaced by the sick, twisted gaze of someone obsessed and it looks like I am the target.
“You,” I breathe as my mind tries to comprehend what is going on.
“I’m sorry Ashley, but I just can’t let you keep making these mistakes.”
My fear is almost palpable now as I look at him. “You’re hurting me,” I say trying to wriggle out from under him. He moves back but only enough so that we are not touching, not enough for me to make a run for the door. He sees me eyeing the door and closes any gap with his body.
“See, you’re still not listening to me,” he says scolding me as he stands and starts to pace a little. “I tried to show you I care, sending you gifts, but he kept getting in the way. Subtlety is wasted on you it seems.”
He walks over to me, kneeling in front of me. My hands are shaking so much that I ball them up into fists, as he leans his head onto my stomach. What should I do? I can’t reach my phone as I see it on the floor, from when he hit it out of my hand. I close my eyes, and take in a deep breath, I have to get through the night, Taylor will open the shop in the morning, and when I don’t come down to bake the cakes, she will come up see if I’m okay.
“Ethan, it’s been a long day, I was hoping to get some sleep,” I say in a quiet voice. I’m too scared to say anything just in case he turns violent on me.
“I know Jackson really messed up and I know that you need some time.” Ethan stands back up and cups my face. “Get some rest, and then we can talk about us,” he says kissing my forehead.
Okay, he doesn’t want to hurt me, he wants to love me in his own sick way, wants to make me happy. So, he won’t hurt me unless I do something to annoy him, so I’ll play along with him for the night.
“Right, let’s get some sleep, and in the morning, I thought maybe we can go out for breakfast or something.”
“We can see in the morning,” I tell him taking a step away and pulling the covers off the bed. “I have a spare blanket in the closet if…”
“Yes, I’m on the floor next to the bed. When you’re ready we can take the next step.” Why can’t my body stop shaking? I can’t believe that Ethan has been doing this for so long. I would never have thought it was him, he never gave off the vibe he liked me, or that he wanted anything from me.
Pulling the cover over myself, I turn to the side Ethan is sleeping on, there is no way that I can sleep, how does he think I’ll sleep?
I can try to get my phone when he falls asleep, but at the moment I’m too scared to do the wrong thing, in case I upset him. I mean at the moment he’s being normal with me, so if I stay awake until morning and wait for Taylor to come I should be okay.
*~*~*
I hear the door behind me closing, and Ethan comes out of the shower. I am tied to the bed with a paisley pink scarf that he had seen on the chair in the corner of my room. He took my phone in there with him, so I couldn't call for help, now my only hope is that Taylor comes to find me.
“Do you want a shower?” Ethan walks around the bed to me, I give him a nod, and look over at the door as I hear a knock. Inside I’m so happy, I knew that Taylor would come to check up on me.
“Ashley it’s me, just want to see if you’re okay,” I hear her shouting, and Ethan looks over at me.
He grabs one of my scarfs and ties my mouth, and leaves the room, I listen to him tell her that I’m in the shower.
“Well I’ll wait to see her.”
“I will tell her you came over, once she is out,” Ethan tells her.
“Well I don’t hear the shower, so I don’t think she is in there yet.”
“Taylor, I will tell her. She had a bad night with Jackson and I think some space would be good for her.”
“When did you get here?” Taylor asks him. Come on Taylor come to my room, fight him.
“This morning. I wanted to see how she was, so soon as she is out of the shower she will be down.” And with that I hear the door shut.
There is no way that Taylor would just leave without talking to me, not after what happened last night. I look over at the door as Ethan walks back into the room.
“You can have a shower at my place. We are leaving before she comes back.” Ethan grabs my arms quickly untying the scarf from around my wrists, so that I can stand up, taking the scarf off me. “Grab what you need,” he tells me as I stare at him. He's being serious about this.
“No, I’m not going anywhere. Ethan this is silly, and has gone on long enough, you have to stop this,” I tell him, and walk around him, but he grabs my arm and pushes me against the wall.
“No, this is how it is meant to be, so get a bag together,” he shouts, and I look out the window hoping maybe someone will look up at me.
“Ethan, you’re hurting me, please stop.” I’m trying hard to push him away from me, but he is a lot stronger than I thought he would be.
“Stop fighting me, Ashley. I can make you happy, and I won’t ever lie to you like Jackson did.”
Biting his hand, he lets go of my arm, and I try to run to the door, he catches my leg with his making me trip and hit my head on the dressing table. Ethan gets on top of me and I fight with him, but it’s not helping me, he is too heavy, and my head is bleeding. My eyes blur and dots start to flicker at the corners of my vision. Blackness envelopes me, the last thing I think is that I wish Jackson was here.
Chapter 26
Jackson
“I don’t give a fuck what you say, Jake, I’m going over there.” Pacing the length of my kitchen I glare at my brother. He arrived about twenty minutes ago, he’s been trying to convince me to give Ashley time, but fuck that, she doesn’t need time she needs to listen to me.
“If you go over there like this she’s going to kick you out on your ear,” he reasoned. He and I hadn’t mentioned our fight and it had been a long time coming. Part of me felt bad for decking him, but the other part felt he’d had it coming. I love my brother, but I was sick of feeling second best. He had the perfect wife, perfect kid, another on the way. Mum was always on my case for more grandkids.
Sitting down opposite him I look at his black eye and the cut on his lip, and regret fills me. I was wrong he didn’t deserve that, I was a drunk prick who lashed out at someone I care about just like I did with Ashley.
“I’m sorry man, I was a dick.”
Jake laughed and rubbed his chin. “You’ve always been a dick bro. Seriously don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t break my nose this time.”
I chuckled at his words. “I forgot about that, can you believe I broke your nose with a lightsaber.”
“Uh, yeah I have the crooked nose to prove it.” We both laughed as we thought back to earlier times, happy times.
“Do you think I’m like him?” I ask finally. We never spoke about our father, but Jake knew who I meant.
“Not in the fucking slightest. You just got hurt by that bitch Jade and never met anyone worthy until now. I got lucky, but don’t think I haven’t fucked up. Sadie and I nearly split last year.”
His words stop me short. “What?”
He nods and looks at his hands, twirling his wedding ring round and around on his finger. “A woman at work was hitting on me and like a sap I fell for it. Nothing happened but she kept calling me to fix her shit, first a fuse, then something else. I had no idea what she was up to. I genuinely thought she just wanted a friend to help her out. Sadie and I fought about it, I told her she was being jealous and needy and imagining everything. I went around there to help her move some furniture and when I got there she was laying naked on the sofa.”
“Fuck, man,” I say complete shock edging my tone.
“Yeah, I left straight away and went home to beg Sadie to forgive me. She did, but it was hairy there for a while. Needless to say, I learnt my lesson. She and Maisy are the
most important people in my universe apart from you and mum and I’ll never put her second again, not to anyone or anything. So, you see baby brother I am far from perfect.”
My phone buzzes on the counter in front of me where I threw it after texting Ashley for the hundredth time. Picking it up Taylor’s number dances across the screen and for some reason my heart drops to my guts.
“Taylor?” I answer.
“Thank God.”
I stand and the look on my face alerts Jake that something is wrong. “What’s the matter, where’s Tinkerbell?”
“She is in her flat, but I can’t get to her and Ethan won’t let me in. Something’s wrong, Jackson, I can feel it. Please hurry. I’ve called the police but you’re closer.”
I hear tears in her voice and that spurs me on as much as her words, Taylor is not one to overreact. “I’m on my way.” I hang up and look at Jake who is already at the door with his keys in his hand. All the way over in the car my thoughts are all over the place. Why is Ethan in her flat? Who is he to her? Has he hurt her? My fists clench as I think the last. If he has, I’m gonna kill him.
Arriving outside Sweet Heaven I’m shocked to see two police cars and an ambulance. Jogging closer I see Taylor being comforted by Corey. She sees me and rushes over.
“What’s happening?”
“The police are getting ready to go in, he says she is unconscious, but he won’t let them in until they guarantee he won’t be arrested. He says it was an accident because she wouldn’t listen,” Taylor finishes on a sob. Corey pulls her into his arms and comforts her as I sink to the kerb beside me. I feel my insides shaking with fear. I’m terrified that something has happened to my Tinkerbell and I never got to tell her I love her. It hits me like a truck that I love her. This crazy beautiful eccentric woman owns my heart and instead of telling her I acted like a complete tool.
I feel Jake sit beside me, but I can’t speak, fear has robbed me of speech.
“She’ll be okay,” he says as he nudges me with his shoulder.
I nod and fight back the tears. She has to be, because whether she forgives me for lying about my job is irrelevant. A world without her in it is incomparable, a world in which she does not forgive me is dark but at least I would know she is alive and safe.
