Shared Too

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Shared Too Page 9

by Lily Harlem


  Immediately Quinn shoved forward harder, faster, catapulting my pussy and anus into a free fall of pleasure that came in great waves of sublime crescendos. His powerful hips rammed against my butt, over and over, harder and harder. Liam spurted into me, groaning and writhing, his hands gripping at my body as my innards spasmed and convulsed.

  Quinn stilled as deep as he could possibly seat within me, his long, rich moan a release of hot air coated in pure orgasmic delight. Then he too was pulsing, his cock like another living beast, shooting his climax into me and becoming one with us. My sphincter throbbed, gripped him—tight, stretched and so damn hot it was as though it was being licked by flames. When both Liam and Quinn filled me it was perfect and my existence reached full actualization.

  “Oh, baby, so good,” Liam gasped, finding my lips and threading his hands into my hair. “So damn good.”

  I kissed him back, lost to the dreamy state my orgasm had left me in, fading in and out of a dark well of fulfillment. Satisfaction pooled low in my belly, warm and syrupy, its presence beautiful and nurturing.

  Quinn finally eased his softening cock from me. I lifted gently from Liam and flopped onto the mattress, my clit and pussy still humming and my intimate hole scorched and throbbing wonderfully.

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  Quinn curled his legs with mine and wrapped his arms around me as I squeezed my body against Liam’s. His breaths were still hard in my ear and I could feel his heart beating against my back. I reached for Quinn’s hand, looped my fingers with his and welcomed a night’s sleep surrounded by both my men.

  *

  The next morning Liam was already locked in his office when I awoke. I showered, pulled on jeans and an old top and set about my morning jobs in the yard. After feeding the chickens, I spotted Quinn alone by the fence, dressed in his thick, brown fleece and black jeans. He was staring out over the paddock, his arms spread wide and his back slightly bowed as he gripped the top planks.

  I walked over and stood against the fence, placing my hand right next to his.

  “Morning.”

  “Hey.” He glanced at me.

  “Are you all right? You look lost in thought.”

  “Yeah, I’m okay.” He stared back out at the paddock.

  I waited for him to elaborate. Quinn standing still, not doing something productive was an unusual sight. “So what are you thinking about?” He sighed. “Stuff.”

  “What stuff?”

  He gave a sharp shrug. “Last night, with you, Liam. It was good.”

  “Yes, it was.” I smiled. “But it always is when we’re together.” I slid my gaze over the horizon, at the swallows flying low and catching the last of the autumn midges before their long migration.

  “How does it feel, Ariane?”

  “What?”

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  “To be with two people, have two men adoring you, making sure you get pleasure.” His voice lowered. “Making you come.” I stared at the lush grass and a lingering buttercup, searching for the right words.

  They all came to me at once. “It feels intense, super-satisfying, amazing, so damn hot to be completely connected to you both.” I smiled. “Once upon a time you said I was going to be the most pampered, sexually satisfied woman in the world and you’ve lived up to your word…more than lived up to your word.” His mouth tipped in a grin. “Yeah, I remember that conversation on the balcony.

  We were so worried we’d scared you off.”

  We were quiet for a moment. A tractor pulling a plow chugged in the distance and a murder of crows squabbled in a nearby copse.

  “Why are you asking me this?” I asked eventually, poking at a piece of moss on the fencepost.

  “I’m just curious.”

  “Are you thinking about Eve?”

  He turned to me, his eyes searching my face as though examining me for signs of imminent hysteria.

  “It’s okay if you are,” I said, willing my heart to stop its sudden thumping. “If you’re thinking about her I’d rather you told me.” He sighed and looked away.

  “You like her,” I said. “You’re attracted to her and you said you’d make sure the two of you weren’t ever in a position to let anything happen again.” I pulled in a breath.

  “But that doesn’t mean she’s disappeared from your thoughts.” A muscle flexed in his jaw.

  “Was she at Hanrahan’s the night you went there without me?” He straightened, rolled back his shoulders and turned. His butt rested on the top rail of the fence and he stared across the yard with his arms folded across his chest.

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  “Quinn?”

  “Yes, she was, she was there, okay?”

  “And you thought about her after that night?” I kept my voice calm and controlled even though he’d snapped. I didn’t want to fight about this. I sensed it was too important to lose my cool.

  “No, yes, well, I thought about her a little.”

  “What did you think?”

  “That her conversation about patient care and surgical time management was insightful, that the other members of the team respected her, listened to her.” He paused.

  “And?”

  “And that her hair looked like silk, like a long, golden sheet of silk smoothing around her shoulders as she moved… I wondered what it would be like to touch it.” I was quiet as I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets. There was a chill in the air that was penetrating more than my skin.

  “How do you do it?” he asked, looking down at me with an expression of genuine confusion.

  “Do what?”

  “Love two men, be with two men. How do you do it so brilliantly?”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  “You do, and you have done for so long. Not only that, you share your love and time and attention between our daughters too, and all the animals. I’m in awe of you.”

  “Love is worthless until it’s given away,” I said with a smile and rested my fingers on the arm of his fleece, attempting to placate his fractious mood.

  “How about attraction?” His eyes flashed. “Is that worthless?” He swallowed and I watched his Adam’s apple bob low then all the way back up again. His jaw tensed and a muscle in his cheek flexed beneath his stubble.

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  “We’re not talking about me anymore, are we?”

  He gave a small shake of his head.

  “I don’t know about attraction, Quinn. I’m in love with you and Liam—that’s what I understand, love.”

  “But there is a difference between love and attraction. A big difference. I’m in love with you, so in love with you, you’re my wife, the mother of my children, I want to grow old with you, look back on my life and say I spent it with you.” I felt a sting in my eyes. His words matched my feelings. My emotions were ballooning inside me and I dragged in a breath to keep them under control.

  “But…” he said.

  I tilted my brows and blinked away the moisture.

  “But,” he went on. “Part of me wants her as well. Not to spend my life with her. I just… want her.”

  “You said you’re not going to have an affair with her.” He shook his head firmly. “No, of course I’m not going to have an affair with her.”

  “Does…?” I hesitated. “Does that include you’re not going to sleep with her too?” He shut his eyes for a long second, gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

  “Quinn.” My voice was shaky but I managed to hide the wobble—just.

  “No, I’m not going have sex with her, okay? Because that…” He uncrossed his arms and gripped the rail behind himself again so tight his knuckles paled. “Because that would hurt you.”

  “Is that the only reason?” My voice was a little sharper. “Because you don’t want to hurt me?”

  “Yes, Ariane, that’s the only reason.” He pushed away from the fence and took several quick strides across the yard.
r />   “Wait.” I rushed to follow him. “You can’t say something like that and walk away.”

  “But what else is there to say?” He spun around.

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  I halted in front of him, put my hands on his chest and willed my voice to stay even. “How about talking about the vows we made to one another in our commitment ceremony, how about that?”

  “We never said ‘forsake all others’. Those vows tied us together, you and me, and allowed Liam to be part of our relationship the same way I’m allowed to be part of yours. Those vows make it okay to share.”

  “Yes, you share me.”

  “But you get us both, don’t you? You get both the people you’re attracted to.”

  “Love, Quinn, I get both the men I love, and the whole threesome relationship was your idea, not mine. I had to get my head around it.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “Love, attraction, either way, you get it all and it doesn’t seem fair.”

  My hands dropped from his chest. My breathing was hard and blew like smoke from my mouth into the cold air. “You want it fair?” I asked, my mind full of disbelief.

  His gaze captured mine and his voice dropped low. “Yes.”

  “But how would that work?”

  “Fair would be me going to bed and being shared too.”

  “You want to be shared in bed?” I shook my head, hardly believing what he was saying. “By me and Eve?”

  “I wouldn’t say no. Hell, what guy would? It would be so fucking hot.”

  “But, but I hardly know her.”

  “So get to.”

  “Quinn, I―”

  “Oh, forget I said anything. It’s all hypothetical, a fantasy. Everyone has fantasies, just some people are lucky enough to carry them out.” I stared up at him. What he was saying slotted into my mind like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. He thought I was standing in his way of fulfillment. He wanted Eve, he wanted 90

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  to fuck her. He wanted me in the bed too. I turned and walked back to the fence. Quinn pushed everything to the limit, his work life, his expectation of the children’s behavior and achievements, and here he was pushing my tolerance of his need to explore his attraction to another woman further than I could ever have imagined.

  Betsy jumped up onto the fencepost at my side, wobbled briefly then nudged her whiskered cheek against my arm. Absently I stroked the thick black fur on her back. I needed to give Quinn something, but I couldn’t do what he was asking. I couldn’t climb into bed and share him with another woman.

  My morning coffee swirled in my stomach. The last thing I wanted was to force him into an affair. He said he wouldn’t and I trusted him, but only as much as it was sensible to trust a potently sexual man like Quinn. I also knew my imagination would run riot. Late nights at work I’d wonder if he was with her. His pager and mobile would ring and I’d think it was her telling him she was missing him or that she wanted him. Lipstick on his collar, the scent of her on his body—I’d be searching for it when he came home.

  I could never cope with that. I couldn’t live with that suspicion.

  As my coffee continued to lay heavy in my belly I turned to him. He stood with his feet hip-distance apart and hands in his jean pockets, staring at me, an air of patient anticipation and determination hanging around him.

  When Quinn was denied something, or when he couldn’t figure out a problem, he was not easy to handle. No way. He became single-minded, focused on the result or the goal he required. It was what made him a brilliant surgeon. He went after what he wanted like a Rottweiler.

  Suddenly I realized that I had only one option. For the sake of my sanity and for the happiness of a man I loved.

  “So do it,” I said quietly.

  “What?”

  “Invite her ‘round and…and fuck her.”

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  His brows lifted high and he opened his mouth to speak.

  “But don’t involve me in the bedroom. I’m not sharing myself with her. I have Liam to think of, my vows to him.”

  He took four ground-eating paces over to me. I couldn’t tell if he was furious or pleased with my offer. “Do you know what you’re saying?” he asked gruffly, gripping my upper arms.

  “Of course.”

  “You don’t, not really.”

  “Yes, I do. I don’t want you thinking it’s not fair that I get two lovers and you get one. I don’t want you lying to me, sneaking around.” My mind was whirring. I’d said it now and I just hoped the reason for Quinn sharing me with Liam in the first place would stop it going any further than a one-night stand. He barely had time for me in his life, his hours and responsibilities were crazy. There was no way he could fit in a relationship with another woman. It had to be just about the sex. It had to be. “Fuck her, Quinn, and get it out your system. Then we can carry on with our lives.”

  “What if once isn’t enough?” he asked.

  “It will have to be.” I shook my head. “It will have to be. That’s my offer. Once.

  Scratch the itch.”

  He reached up and cupped my cheek in his cool hand.

  I pressed my face into his palm. “Invite her tonight. She can eat with us and then you can…you can both go upstairs.”

  “But why? Why, Ariane, why? Why would you do this when you were so upset last night about just a kiss?”

  “Because I can’t bear lies and secrets, it makes me feel sick. I would rather know the details. Have it out there. If it’s going to happen, it has to be done in the open. So I’m in some kind of control of when and where.”

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  He swept his tongue over his bottom lip. I stared into his eyes. They swirled with confusion and relief. I also saw excitement.

  “Call her, before I change my mind. But, please, Quinn, not in our bed. In the spare room.”

  “I’ll call her, but I’ll invite her for dinner only. If you change your mind, if you decide you don’t want it to happen, it will be your decision. Right up until the last minute you can change your mind, Ariane.”

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  Chapter Seven

  “Quinn told me,” Liam said. “He told me he’s invited Eve for dinner and you said he can…”

  I looked up at Liam. He swept his hand over his forehead then pinched his finger and thumb at the top of his nose.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, fine.” He dropped his hand to his side.

  “Do you feel unwell?”

  “No.”

  I sighed and stirred the chili I was cooking for the dinner that felt like the last supper.

  “I thought you hated the idea of him and Eve together,” Liam said. “So why would you give him permission to have sex with her?”

  “Because that’s what it is, just sex.” I sighed. It was hard to explain my feelings. The decision was so new, so unbelievable, but I felt deep down it was the right and only thing to do. “I remember one day in the paddock,” I said. “Sophie had caught a butterfly in her hands. It was a tortoiseshell, fluttery and pretty, like a leaf come to life.” I reached for the can of chopped tomatoes and added more to the chili. “She wanted me to get a jam jar, she wanted to keep it.”

  Liam rested his hand in the small of my back and stepped in close to my side.

  “I told her I wouldn’t rush back to the house and get a jar, the butterfly needed to fly free.” My voice quieted. “If she let it go and it came back it would be even more special. I feel…” I paused. “I feel I need to let Quinn do this to keep him mine. I need to 94

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  let him have the freedom to explore something, someone, who’s captured his attention in a way I’ve never seen before, and trust him to come back to me.”

  “Except with you,” Liam said, dropping a sprig of mixed herbs into my mixture.

  “He fell in love with you as fast as a brick hits the bottom of a puddle.”
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br />   “I hope to god he doesn’t fall in ‘love’ with her,” I said, squeezing my lips tight.

  “Me too,” Liam said.

  “But what the hell would happen if he did?” I looked up at Liam.

  “Quinn has been happy with us for years. He, we, always knew we didn’t have the time a wife deserved which is why we have this, the three of us.” He circled his hand in the air. “Nothing has changed in our circumstances. Where is he now?”

  “He got called in.”

  “Exactly,” Liam said firmly.

  “But this is my point.” I dropped the spoon against the side of the pan and spun to Liam. “His pager goes and he’s off. Today I know he’s at work, at the hospital, but what if I was left wondering if he was with her? I couldn’t stand it. I need to know.” My voice quieted. “This is the only way.” Tears filled my eyes.

  “Baby, don’t cry,” Liam said quietly as he squeezed me to him. “It will all work out fine, you’ll see.”

  I looked up at his beautiful face. He hadn’t shaved today, there was a heavy coat of blond stubble on his jawline. “Do you think so?”

  “Yes, I do, and just so you know, I would never do this to you. You are it for me, today, tomorrow, forever.” He pressed a kiss to my head. “You will only have to cope with this and Quinn, I will never ask it of you.” I pulled in his wonderful, freshly showered scent and absorbed the strength of his body molded against mine. “I’m so glad you’re here today and not in the office.”

  “I’m here,” he said. “For as long as I can be, baby. I’m here.” 95

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  *

  In the early evening, I polished the table in the dining room. Spread a scarlet tablecloth that matched the color of the walls over the huge mahogany surface and set the table for four with our best silverware. After lighting three fat, cream candles in the center I wiped the duster over the large antique sideboard, shifting photos of the girls on their ponies at the summer shows as I went. Seeing their faces made me miss them all over again. But I was glad they weren’t here to see the mess we were going through.

  I couldn’t put a brave face on it for them. It would be hard to put on a brave face for Quinn.

  I’d just pulled the curtains when Quinn’s Mercedes crunched up the drive. I scooted back to the kitchen, stirred the simmering chili and poured myself a glass of white wine.

 

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