He shifted slightly to face her. “You don’t look sick,” he said.
“Yeah, well, I don’t feel sick, either. But I didn’t before, either. It was almost a fluke the cancer was discovered early, due to new blood testing that they offered to staff at the hospital.” She sighed. “Ovarian cancer is often a silent killer because by the time there are any symptoms, the disease has progressed to the almost incurable stage.”
“So they took bloodwork and there are anomalies. What else could it be?” Tate asked carefully.
“Anemia. Or some other blood disease, but that’s unlikely. Diabetes maybe. I don’t know. As I said, I have to wait another week to find out. But if the cancer has recurred, I’ll need to go to Portland for treatment. We don’t have that capability at the clinic.”
He rose and paced across the room, turning to look at her. “You’ve been living with this for how long?”
“I found out on Tuesday.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know.”
Tate looked as if she’d slapped him. “Why not?”
“I don’t want you to feel obligated in any way. I’m not your wife.”
He studied her for a moment. “You’re not my wife, but the way things were going, you could have been.”
Faith felt a jolt. “What do you mean?”
He balled his hands into fists “I mean you and I have something special between us. I’ve never felt this way about another woman, since Mandy died. I have a dozen reasons why I shouldn’t be falling in love, but they don’t seem to matter.”
“Please don’t think you have to be the white knight, riding to the rescue. I don’t know for sure that the cancer’s back.” And if it had recurred, the last person she would cling to would be Tate. He’d been through enough heartache.
“But you wouldn’t be asking for someone to take your dog if you didn’t think that.”
She shrugged. “I’m just making contingency plans.”
He studied her for a moment, then crossed back to the sofa, pulling her up into a tight embrace. “Marry me, Faith.”
“No,” she said, burying her face against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. She would never move from this spot if she could have one wish in life. Yet she couldn’t stay. She soaked up the sensation of his strong arms holding her, of his heart beating against hers, of the might-have-beens if life were more fair.
“Why not?” he said, resting his cheek against her hair.
“Not as long as there’s a possibility I’ll be sick again. I would never do that to you,” she said, her voice muffled.
Pushing away slightly, she did her best to smile up at him. “I’ll be okay. I have a lot of friends in Portland. They stood by me last time. They’ll rally again.”
“Friends aren’t family.”
“No, but I’ve been without family for most of my life, Tate. I know how to handle that.”
“I’ll pester you until you give in,” he said, gazing into her eyes.
She laughed at that. “No, you won’t. My answer is no. Thank you, though. I’ll always remember that you asked.”
He studied her expression, obviously believing her. He gave her a sweet kiss then he left.
Faith waited until she heard his car drive off before bursting into tears. The greatest thing she could have wished for in Rocky Point would be to find a family, a man to love, a man to build a future with. Only it had come at the wrong time.
Why, Lord? Why Tate? How could I put him through the very thing that had been so hard for him with his wife? I couldn’t. You know I couldn’t. Please, let him know this is the right decision. Please, take care of him. I would have loved to have been his wife.
She sat on the sofa. Maggie came over and rested her head on Faith’s knee.
“I know, girl. We’re both sad. I hope I don’t have to give you away, too.” Please, Father, please, be with me. Heal me if it’s Your will. If not, give me the courage to face the next step in my journey.
When the phone rang later, Faith almost didn’t answer it. She was sure it was Tate and she wasn’t up to battling with him.
It was Dr. Mallory. “Faith, Tate just filled me in. Why didn’t you say something? Meet me at the clinic. We’ll draw blood and take it to the lab today. There are emergency services for accident victims who need results right away.” He cleared his throat. “We’ll say this is an emergency. That way we’ll find out about the anomalies long before your oncologist returns. I’ll be there in ten.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she protested. But hope flared. If they got the lab results back tomorrow, at least she’d know.
“I do. I can’t have the best nurse I’ve ever had talking about returning to Portland. Ten minutes.” He hung up before she could protest.
Faith gave thanks that Tate was the kind of man he was and went to get her shoes. She arrived at the clinic only moments after the doctor. Tate was there, chatting with Dr. Mallory.
“I could wait another week,” she protested weakly when she joined them.
“No need. We’ll find out what’s up. I can’t believe it’s serious or Stephens wouldn’t have left without making sure you knew. And started treatment right away.”
“I had a message to call him before he left.”
“Which you didn’t get in time,” Tate said.
Dr. Mallory raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
Tate shrugged.
“I think Marjorie forgot to give it to me,” Faith admitted. Deliberately forgot, but since that couldn’t be proved, she’d keep those thoughts to herself.
“Come on through here. Too bad you can’t do it yourself. I’ve heard patients comment on how well you give shots or take blood. They hardly feel a thing.” The doctor led the way to one of the exam rooms.
She watched as several vials of blood were drawn. Then the doctor wrote out a handful of request slips, taping them to the different vials. He then put them into a carrying case and handed it to Tate.
Faith looked at him. “What are you doing?”
“I volunteered to take the blood to the lab. It’s in Monkesville.”
“Can you do that? It’s Sunday.”
“I don’t know how busy they are. There’s a reduced staff on weekends, but they’re open seven days a week. I know Paul Murray, the director. I’ve already spoken with him. He’ll expedite the blood tests,” Dr. Mallory said. “With luck, we’ll know something pretty quick. Better to know the full extent today or tomorrow than wait another week.”
“Thank you,” she said. She smiled at the doctor and then Tate. “Thanks for taking it over.”
“I’m waiting for my yes,” he said as he left.
“Yes to what?” the doctor asked when the sheriff left.
“He asked me to marry him. But I can’t. Not unless I’m healthy and likely to remain so. Even then, I’m not sure it’s fair to him if I say yes. I think he’s just being kind, wanting to give me support at a time of need.” She swallowed hard. “You see…I can’t have kids. Tate’s so good around children, he should have a bunch of his own. I know his parents want grandchildren.”
“The man knows what he wants. Funny, I’ve known him most of his life and I never thought he was especially kind—not enough to put his own life in disarray just to be kind to someone else. And I’ve heard the rumors running around. You’re the first woman he’s shown any interest in since he moved back to town,” the doctor said as he cleaned up. Then he looked at her. “And he’d be lucky if you did say yes.”
Faith flushed with pleasure at the doctor’s words. “Thank you. Still, I need to know where I stand before I make any decision along those lines.” And she’d have to make sure Tate was all right with not hav
ing children. Allen hadn’t been. She couldn’t bear it if, down the line, Tate resented her inability to have a baby.
“With luck, we’ll know something soon. Next time something like this comes up, tell me. No need to carry the burden alone,” the doctor chided.
“I’m not alone, I have the Lord on my side,” she said, conscious that she had more than that with the help of her boss and the sheriff.
“Ecclesiastes says, two are better than one—if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” He raised a brow. “That’s not you, Faith. You’ve made a lot of friends in town. We’ll all be there for you to help you face this. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t. Thank you, doctor.”
“And we’ll have a talk with Marjorie in the morning,” he said as they were leaving.
Tate drove swiftly to the lab in Monkesville. He was still stunned that Faith had received bad news—and that she’d kept it to herself for so long. Didn’t she understand that her friends would want to help, if only to support her with prayers? Maybe not. She’d said she was a new Christian. Maybe she didn’t fully understand the power of prayer or the support other Christians could offer.
Please, Father, if it be Your will, let her be all right. Let the anomalies be minor, quickly healed. Let her live a long and faithful life serving You and being a witness to others. And help me, Father. I think I love her. No, I know I love her. The question is, am I strong enough to endure whatever might come? I don’t think I can face another life wasting away. Tate wished he was different, that he’d plunge in wherever he was needed. But could he do that a second time?
Yet Faith had no one. Mandy had had her parents, her brother, Tate and Tate’s family, plus numerous friends and other relatives. Faith was alone, except for a foster family who barely kept in touch and friends. But friends weren’t the same as family.
“If she married me, she’d have all the family she’d need,” he said aloud. He’d asked her spontaneously. Now that he had time to think about it, the full ramifications of what marriage to her could entail struck him with full force. Life didn’t come with guarantees. He had his faith and trust in the Lord. And his love for Faith. Could he do this again?
Unceasing faith. The words echoed in his mind. I put my trust in You, Lord.
The lab was on the far side of Monkesville. It was practically deserted by the time Tate got there. In a flash, the technicians had logged in the blood, promising to get the results to the doctor first thing in the morning. Tate had no choice but to leave it at that, much as he wanted to urge them to run their tests immediately.
He used the drive home to pray, think of what could be done if the cancer had recurred. Praying again for healing. First thing he’d do was call Pastor John and start the prayer chain. It hadn’t been too long ago this summer that Marcie’s dad had been on the prayer chain. He was recovering from a kidney transplant and doing even better than the doctors expected. Tate knew better than to underestimate the power of prayer.
Yet, he’d prayed long and hard, as had others, for Mandy. No one knew the Father’s plan. That didn’t mean he couldn’t trust the Lord to know best. And hope for a complete recovery and a long and happy life for Faith. With him.
When Tate reached town, he stopped at his house to call Pastor John. He asked if the pastor had some free time and was immediately invited to come to the pastor’s home. Tate called the doctor to update him, then took off to visit Trinity’s pastor.
“Hi, Tate. Come on out back. We’ll be alone there. Virginia and the kids are preparing dinner and there’s always a lot of commotion with that task,” Pastor John greeted him when he arrived.
They walked to the shade in the backyard and sat on chairs on the patio. “What can I do for you?” the pastor asked.
“First, I need for the prayer chain to get going praying for Faith. She’s kept it quiet, but I don’t think she’d mind my talking about this…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “She had ovarian cancer a couple of years ago. She went through surgery and chemo and thought she had it licked, but this week she received bad news. We don’t know the full extent yet, but it could be a recurrence of the disease. I’d like prayer for healing.”
“We can get right on that. But you could have called me to start the prayer chain,” Pastor John said, looking at him with kind eyes. “What else?”
Tate nodded. “I wanted to talk to you about me. Me and Faith.”
“Faith as in belief in God, or the young nurse we’ll begin praying for?”
“Both, actually.” Tate realized that’s where his main problem came from. His lack of strong faith to trust in God to do best for all. How did a man regain his faith when it had been damaged?
Funny how everything seemed to have changed, Faith thought as she walked with Maggie along the marina. Just a few weeks ago, Tate had plunged into the water to rescue that child. She had never met him before. Now she was in love with him, yet couldn’t do anything about it. Even if this scare proved manageable, there would be others. She might make her five years and be considered cured, but the specter of cancer would forever hang over her.
And the children she had once hoped to have—that would never come to be. For some reason the Lord saw fit to have her live without any blood relatives. She had some wonderful friends, whom she loved and who loved her in return. She needed to remember that. Cherish what she had and not yearn for what she could not have. Hadn’t she just read in the Bible this weekend when Paul said he’d learned to be content, whatever his circumstances? She needed to follow that example and be content with what she had. For however long she had it.
It was a wonderful time to be alive. Modern medicine was available to fight the insidious disease. Friends had rallied around her before. They’d do it again. And now she had even more friends.
And she had Maggie. For as long as she could keep her. And even if she had to give her up, she’d remember these weeks. If the Lord let her be cured, she’d see about getting another dog.
When she returned home, Faith was surprised to see Tate sitting on the bottom step, a big white paper bag beside him, Marcie’s café’s logo emblazoned on it.
“I brought dinner,” he said. “I know it’s sort of late, but you haven’t eaten, have you?’
“No, I haven’t. Thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” she said, holding the leash to prevent Maggie from grabbing their dinner and scarfing it down. What a special thing to do.
Tate lifted the bag and stood up. “This is for me and your mistress, Maggie girl. You have a yummy doggie dinner upstairs.”
“Yuck, how they like that stuff’s beyond me. But it’s nutritious and the way she wolfs down the food, she must like it,” Faith said, happy to see him. She wanted to be strong, send him away and carry on by herself. But as Doc Mallory had wisely said, two were better than one. As long as she kept their relationship at the friendship level. Which was hard when she just wanted him to hug her and promise that things would turn out okay.
The shrimp sandwiches and coleslaw were delicious. Faith had more of an appetite today than she’d had all week. Due, she knew, to the help she’d received once Tate and the doctor had found out her concerns.
“So the lab said results will be available tomorrow. They’ll call the doctor first thing.”
“I hope he gets the call,” she murmured. Maybe she should arrange to be in the reception area until the call came through.
“What’s going on with Marjorie?” Tate asked.
She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “What makes you think anything is going on?” she asked.
“A couple of things you’ve said. So?”
“She wanted her niece to get the job. I think she believes if work becomes uncomfortable enough for me, I’ll leave. She’s alway
s saying how many more opportunities there are in Portland.”
Tate nodded. “True. But what you don’t know is that the doctor interviewed her niece two weeks before interviewing you. If he’d wanted her, he would have hired her and not kept the position open for so long.”
Faith stared at him. “Truly?”
He nodded. “She’s fresh out of nursing school. Doesn’t have nearly the experience you have. In a small-town clinic like this, medical workers have to be able to pitch in with a lot of different skills. Your time in the E.R. obviously paid off. Heather still has years of work to catch up to you.” He shrugged. “So if you left tomorrow, Heather still wouldn’t get that job. Someone should remind Marjorie about that. And you should have told the doctor you were having problems.”
“She’s been there for years. I kept hoping things would get better. I didn’t want to cause trouble,” she admitted. “I like my job, love the town. I wanted to work harmoniously with her.”
“Work relationships are not one-sided. She has to meet you halfway. And if she can’t, then changes might need to be made,” Tate said firmly.
Faith nodded. “Though the changes could be me returning to Portland for treatment,” she said wistfully.
When they finished, Faith quickly cleaned up, stumbling over puppies who were always underfoot these days. She laughed. “I’ll miss these guys when they go to their new homes.”
“Jenny can’t wait. I suspect the others feel the same way. Kids and puppies—that’s one thing that makes families. Our family had dogs when my sister and I were growing up.” He looked sad for a moment. “I still miss the last one. But once I left for college, my folks weren’t as excited about keeping dogs. So after he died, they didn’t get another one. Dogs do require daily care.”
Rocky Point Promise Page 17
