by Meg Jackson
Mina took a moment to just study Ricky, a moment in which Ricky grew noticeably uncomfortable. Mina may have been younger than Ricky, but her eyes bespoke an agelessness that had a peculiar effect on the people she chose to turn them on.
“Are you willing to risk that?” Mina finally said, breaking the tension between them. Ricky’s brow furrowed, and she opened her mouth as if to protest, but Mina continued. “I mean, forget about everything that will happen after. Forget about Tula's visions. Even if she’s wrong about everything else, you have to know what you’re doing to him, and know that he’s not going to take it for much longer.”
“Doing to him?” Ricky was growing irritated. “I’m not doing anything to him. If he’s impatient, that’s on him. I can’t help that. I’m not going to jump feet-first off a cliff just to make him feel better.”
“Do you really think that loving him is the same as jumping feet-first off a cliff? Because if that’s how you feel, maybe you should think about ending it now, before he can end it with you.”
“What are you talking about?” Ricky asked, her mood souring by the moment.
“You know how he feels about you. And if you don’t think you can let yourself feel the same, you should let him go. It’s not fair to him. And it won’t be fair to either of you if you force him to do your dirty work.”
Ricky chewed her lip, her eyes dark.
“You’re just a kid, Mina,” she finally said. “I don’t know what authority you think you have to talk about my relationship, but you don’t have it. This is between Cristov and me.”
“It was,” Mina said, “until it became clear that you’re hurting him.”
“I’m not,” Ricky said, not sure she believed her own protest. “He’s happy with me.”
Mina shook her head, her eyes never leaving Ricky’s.
“If you think that, you definitely don’t know him enough to understand what I’m telling you,” Mina said.
“People don’t fall in love in a month and a half,” Ricky said, hearing a desperation in her voice that she couldn’t understand. Why should she be taking any of this seriously? Mina was just a teenager. She didn’t know half as much about life as Ricky. Even if she knew Cristov better, she didn’t know anything about their relationship.
“Maybe not,” Mina shrugged. “But they certainly know whether or not it’s possible. And if you’ve been with him this long, I expect you’ve already decided that it is. He needs to hear that.”
“Mina, just stop,” Ricky said, feeling claustrophobic even though they were standing outside. “I’m going to deal with Cristov the way I’m comfortable dealing with him, alright? Thanks for the advice, but this is really not your business.”
“My brother, my business,” Mina said, but squared her shoulders as though she accepted that the conversation was over. “Just think about what it would feel like if he left you. Are you going to wait until he’s gone to realize you want him to stay? You don’t have to believe me about the future. You just have to know that I do know my brother, and if you lead him on long enough, he’ll chew through the leash. Got it?”
“Crystal clear,” Ricky said, voice thick with sarcasm. Movement out of the corner of her eye attracted her attention.
What great timing, she thought dourly.
“Mina?” Kim asked, approaching the now-shivering figures outside the bar. “What are you doing here?”
Kim looked from her sister to Mina with happy curiosity, unaware of the conversation she’d interrupted.
“I was just leaving,” Mina said brightly, saving one last serious glance for Ricky. “Just happened to run into Ricky and thought I’d say hi, since we never see her around the kumpania.”
“That’s true,” Kim said, nudging her sister’s shoulder. “Ought to remedy that some time, right?”
“Yeah,” Ricky said, distracted.
“See ya,” Mina said, waving herself off and trotting down the street, hands in her pockets and coat drawn up to cover her face. Ricky watched her go, mind still reeling from what she’d said. She felt like she’d need a few more drinks to even begin dissecting it.
“What’re you even doing out here?” Kim asked with an exaggerated shiver. “It’s freezing.”
“Yeah,” Ricky repeated, still watching the street even though Mina had disappeared around a corner.
“Sis?” Kim asked, nudging her once more.
“Did you ever…uh…did Kennick ever introduce you to Tula? Just kind of curious,” Ricky said, turning to face her sister. Kim smiled affectionately and tapped Ricky’s nose with one finger.
“You look like Rudolph,” Kim said. “Uh, yeah, a few times. She’s a drabarni, that’s, like, a psychic. She did a reading for me once and…well, I mean, it did come true. I don’t know if I can totally subscribe to the practice, but Kennick sure does. And seeing the vision come to life did sway me a bit. Come on, though, I can tell you more inside.”
“Tricia’s in there,” Ricky said, pulling her phone out. “I’ll meet you inside. I just want to make a quick call.”
“I’m sure Tula will do a reading for you for free,” Kim teased. “No need to go calling the psychic hotline.”
Ricky offered a smile in response to the joke, but it felt as cold on her face as the air. Kim blew into her hands as she opened the bar door, the wave of heat offering Ricky the smallest respite. The phone rang against her ear.
“Girl’s night over already?” Cristov’s voice came over the line, male laughter in the background.
“Not yet,” Ricky said, wondering what she was even doing. “Got another few hours of girl talk in me, I think. But…do you want to come over after?”
There was a pause, and more laughter. Ricky felt herself hoping, absurdly hard, that he would say yes.
“Sure,” Cristov answered. “You know you don’t even have to ask.”
She smiled, though her heart was unsettled behind her ribs. Mina might have been eight years younger than Ricky, but the way she’d spoken had made Ricky think she ought to take her seriously. No; it wasn’t the way she’d spoken. It was what she’d said, and the fact that somewhere, deep inside, it rang so true that it hurt.
“Good,” she said, and meant it. She had a few more hours to figure out what she’d do once Cristov got there. The conversation had given her the unshakable feeling that she had to do something. She hoped a few more drinks would make that feeling go away. If not, maybe they’d help her find the words she wanted to say. For the first time she realized the irony: for someone whose whole life was built on words, she never knew how to use them when it really mattered.
20
Cristov met Mina on his way out. She was holding a greasy bag; it was late, and he was surprised to see her at the trailer.
“Munchies?” he asked, pointing to the bag. She stuck her tongue out at him.
“It’s for Damon and Kennick,” she said. “Didn’t they tell you they asked me to pick up food?”
“No! They didn’t! Because THE BASTARDS WANTS ME TO STARVE TO DEATH!” Cristov yelled behind him into the trailer. Damon’s laughter rolled in from the living room, joined shortly by Kennick. They’d been having a rare night together, with Kim out of town for some conference and Ricky out with her friends.
“Well, don’t worry,” Mina said, smiling. “We’ll save you some ketchup packets. Where are you going?”
“Ricky’s,” Cristov said, cocking his head at the look that fluttered across Mina’s face. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly, but he saw through her lie, and she knew it. The siblings weren’t good at lying to each other. “I just…I saw her tonight. She was out drinking with Kim and stuff.”
“Yeah, I know,” Cristov said. “So what?”
“So, I just saw her, that’s all,” Mina said, growing irritated. When Cristov blocked her way into the trailer, she stomped her foot and released an exasperated sigh. “The food’s getting cold.”
“So? I don’t care. What’s with the dod
gy eyes?”
She glared at him, but the battle was already lost.
“I had a little chat with her, that’s all,” Mina mumbled. “I mean, she might bring it up, but…”
“What kind of chat?” Cristov snarled, irritation in his eyes. “What business do you have talking to her?”
“Look, Cris, I see what she does to you. I see how you get because of her. I just told her…you know, to be…to be mindful of your feelings.”
“Jesus Christ, Mina,” Cristov groaned. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I can’t fucking deal with my own life? I don’t need my baby sister trying to push her snooty little nose into my love life. You don’t understand me and Ricky, and you don’t need to. No one does.”
“Yeah, including you,” Mina shot back. “You don’t get what you’re doing with her, she doesn’t get what she’s doing with you. Someone’s going to get hurt, Cristov, and if you’re not careful, it’s going to be you.”
“Goddammit, Mina,” he seethed, shaking his head back and forth as his sister held his glare. “You’re a pain in the ass. And you’re the worst kind of pain in the ass, because you don’t even know it. That’s probably why she called me. I’m going to have to go over there and apologize for my crazy-ass sister…”
“Don’t apologize for me, Cris,” Mina hissed back. “All I told her was the truth. And if you ask me, she needed to hear it.”
“Get out of my fucking sight,” Cristov snarled, and shoved himself away from the door. The screen slammed shut in Mina’s face, her small figure shivering now as she stood in the cold. She watched Cristov get into his car, saw that his eyes never left hers as he turned the engine and pulled away. And Cristov’s eyes were full of anger. She knew she’d done the right thing, but she wished it didn’t come at such a terrible cost.
21
“Listen, Ricky,” Cristov said before even getting all the way through the door. Ricky felt her heartbeat double as soon as she saw him. She hadn’t come to any conclusions in the time between inviting him over and hearing his knock on the door. But Mina’s words still rang in her head, and she recognized something moving in her chest, right where her heart was. Fear. Fear of losing him. Fear of losing something she’d never even decided she wanted.
But as soon as her eyes landed on him, his muscled body bringing cold air with it, his eyes wary and almost frantic, she felt that fear evolve. It became something else. Something even bigger and stranger. But at least she’d felt it before. Plenty of times.
The door shut behind him. He seemed to be searching for words, his eyes on hers.
“I don’t know what she said to you,” he finally said, “but whatever it is…”
“Shh,” Ricky said, moving closer to him, entranced by the hint of muscle peeking up from under his V-neck t-shirt. She slid her arms under his open jacket, pushing it away from his body. Cristov instinctively pulled her in closer. She heard his heart beating. She wanted him then, more than she ever remembered wanting anyone. As always, they melted in each other’s arms. Ricky warmed him with the heat of her body, and his cold skin made her nipples hard through her tank top.
“We should talk about…”
“Just fuck me,” Ricky whispered into his ear, her voice urgent, her body warm. “Just fuck me, Cristov.”
He paused, and Ricky realized she hadn’t even noticed how they’d been moving, undulated softly, slowly, as they embraced. They were standing right inside the front door, where Ricky’s table – a kitchen table repurposed as a magazine-and-junk-mail graveyard – stood.
“As you wish,” he murmured, kissing that tender spot behind her ear as he lifted her onto the table, running his hands up her bare thighs, past the top of her panties, tracing along the sides of her torso. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she reached down, yanking off the thin camisole, then fumbling with the button of his jeans.
They fell to his ankles, and Ricky could feel his hardness pressed against her thigh. His lips fell to her neck, sucking in gently, her pale flesh rising in goosebumps. Down to her shoulders, his tongue traced a path, her hand closing around his shaft and stroking gently.
His hands, hungry for her skin, cupped her breasts, his thumbs rolling over her nipples until they stood taut and firm, her back arching when his mouth dropped to take one between his lips. She leaned back to give him access to her chest, his hands kneading each breast while his mouth moved between them, suckling her before closing his teeth and tugging, the sensation pure pleasure and pure pain at the same time.
“Fuck,” she breathed, and her voice called him back to her like a siren song, his fingers replacing his mouth as he kissed her long and hard. He reached around and pulled her closer to the edge of the table, his cock angled against her stomach, feeling the fluttery hum of her arousal deep within. Her panties were damp at the base of his shaft.
“Gonna take all of me again,” he whispered, moving his mouth to her ear. “Gonna take all of me, whenever I want you to. Right, baby?”
“Yeah,” Ricky moaned, now tugging desperately at the top of her panties, though she was pinned to him so tight she could barely squirm.
“All mine, Ricky,” he growled, moving away and doing what her hands couldn’t manage; her panties dropped around her ankles, her slit wet and ready for him. He pressed the head of his cock against her entrance, knowing that if he only gave her an inch, she would beg for more.
“Please,” she moaned, right on cue, as the head of his cock spread her wide but stopped before filling her. “Please, Cristov…”
“All fuckin’ mine, right, Ricky?” he growled, reaching around to grab her hips. She nodded desperately, squirming in his grip.
“Yeah, baby, all yours,” she breathed, her words turning into a groan as he slid himself into her all the way, pulling her to him at the same time he thrust forward. His cock buried itself deep into her center, filling her entirely and making her shoulders shake with the force of her pleasure. Her thighs clenched around him, her ankles crossing at his waist, holding him inside her like he was her captive.
Their eyes met as he began to thrust, his strokes deep and hard, looking for that place inside her that made her melt. When he couldn’t find it, he growled and lifted her off the table, supporting her weight in his strong arms so he could slide upwards and pierce her even deeper. Ricky’s eyes widened, her arms coming together around his neck, her mouth opening in a wordless cry as he plunged into her again and again, wanting her climax to set off his own.
“Do it, Ricky,” he grunted, never letting her eyes travel far from his. “Come for me, because you’re mine.”
“Ah – oh, God,” she moaned, shuddering forward into his arms as his cock slipped deeper into her- through her- and set off the fireworks her body had been building. Her knees snapped, her stomach vibrated with ecstasy, her fingernails turned into claws on his back as she shuddered and came on his cock, the sensation only getting more intense as she felt him spill into her in burst after burst, a seemingly endless series of spasms that connected them in an infinite bliss.
Ricky murmured and moaned, her pussy seeming to drink the last of his cum like precious water, her head rolling along his shoulder as he carried her to the couch with the last of his strength. They collapsed like a gladiator and a wild animal, trapped together in the coliseum, doomed to fight until they were both too tired to live any longer. Just who was the gladiator and who was the wild animal was irrelevant.
“What were you trying to say before you…well, before all that?” she asked after they’d regained their breath.
“Nothing important,” he said. “Not important anymore, anyway.”
“Mmm,” Ricky hummed, loving the way his strong arms curled around her, the smell of him filling her nose. “I don’t believe you.”
He chuckled as he released her and moved away, towards the couch. Ricky followed, somewhat dizzy, leaving her crumpled panties on the floor but pulling her shorts on as she went.
“Tell me,” she sai
d, sitting beside him and picking up her abandoned beer; it’d gotten warmer, but it was still just fine. She brought her knees to her chest and lifted one hand to play with the soft blonde locks ringing Cristov’s head like a halo. Except he was no angel, that was for sure. The ache between her legs testified to that.
He was silent, staring down at her like she held the answer to her own question.
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” he said, and Ricky saw the flinch in his eyes when she stiffened.
“I just told you that, didn’t I?” she said, looking away. I thought that would be enough, she thought.
“What you say when I’m fucking you doesn’t always count,” Cristov growled, reaching forward and tugging at her chin until she looked back at him. For the first time, she saw how much he needed her to say it. Admit that she felt something for him, even if she wasn’t sure what that something was. Maybe his sister had been right…
How long has he waited for this? She wondered, sensing the tension growing between them as the question lingered, unanswered, in the air.
“Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, I’m yours.”
He smiled, relief in his eyes that made her stomach fall. The rest of that thought remained unspoken in her mind. For now, she thought. Until you don’t want me anymore.
Where had that idea come from? Mina, of course. Damn Mina. Cristov wasn’t going anywhere. He’d proved that from the questions he’d asked. The only doubt was whether or not the answer she gave was enough.
Maybe it was the way he looked at her then, like she was the buried treasure he’d spent his whole life looking for. But she wasn’t a treasure. She was just…
He released her chin and she looked away, taking a sip of her beer.
…just another girl who can’t give you more than a good time.
“Listen,” she said finally, pushing her thoughts away, as far as she could push them. She got up and looked around for a moment, then found her bearings. The record she wanted was on the top of the pile, and she slipped it on, then played with the needle until she found the song she wanted.
