Erk. Ralph hadn’t even thought of that. “Yeah, you’re right. We have a few more hours, at least.”
Gerontius held up his hand. “We need more information about this world from these children.”
Jandia leaned in. “Agreed.” She turned to Jojo. “Tell us about this world. Is there truly no magic?”
“I don’t think so,” said Jojo, “but then again, I didn’t think I’d be talking to a barbarian warrior with butter all over her face either. Come here.” Jandia stepped back as Jojo reached out. “Your face is a mess. You really have to wipe it.”
Bram smiled. “Clearly you have never taken a meal with a barbarian.”
“We must be on one of the Astral Dominions,” Mirak said. “Perhaps we should ascertain if it is good or evil?”
Gerontius turned to Cammi. “Good and gentle Cammi, you will speak the truth?”
“I’ll try,” Cammi said shyly.
Gerontius’s eyes softened and he smiled. “Then I ask you, is this a place of good or evil?”
“I don’t know.” Cammi squirmed. “I mean, sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s evil, I guess. Like most places.”
“So this isn’t one of the nine hells of Baator?” asked Torgrim.
“Nope, just one of the five boroughs of New York City,” joked Noel. “Some people do think it’s hell, but they’re mostly tourists.”
“So this is a city,” said Bram as he helped himself to a glass of water.
“How big a city?” asked Gerontius. “Five thousand people?” Cammi shook his head. “Ten? Fifteen?” the Wizard continued.
“Um, a little more than that,” mumbled Cammi.
“Oho!” said Mirak. “A great city indeed! I would wager fifty thousand at least!”
Bram laughed. “Let us say a hundred thousand, if you’re going to make such a ridiculous claim.”
“Actually, the current population of Brooklyn is about two and a half million people,” Noel said helpfully.
“So this…Brooklyn…is no city,” gasped Mirak. “It is an entire world.”
“Well, to a lot of people here it kind of is,” admitted Persephone.
Bram leapt to his feet and rubbed his hands. “Enough talk. I say we explore.”
Jandia grunted. “I agree with the rogue. We are wasting time.”
Ralph ran to the door. “Wait! You can’t leave!”
“Why not?” Gerontius asked.
Ralph looked wildly at his friends for help.
“There are…enemies out there,” Persephone said in her best scary-sounding voice.
Torgrim brandished his giant war hammer. “Even without spells, we can take care of ourselves.”
Ralph pictured dozens of police cruisers descending on his street. “No, we cannot have anyone else see you.”
Bram frowned. “But if we do not find the one with the magic to help us, we will be trapped here forever.”
Gerontius turned to his fellow adventurers. “We need to find the last of the seven serpents. Once that is done, the power of the scepter shall return us to our world.”
Jojo turned to Ralph. “Is that what the campaign said?”
“The campaign doesn’t ever talk about the seventh serpent. Once you find it, you’re supposed to make up that part of the story!”
“We’d better make up something fast,” Noel said, “because they are definitely not staying.”
Gerontius had pulled his silver sword from its sheath, and the others raised their weapons as well. “I warn you not to stand in our way. We will leave this house and seek our fate out there in this strange place.”
The adventurers headed for the door.
Ralph looked on with dread as the adventurers reached the door. But then they stopped short, and Ralph and his friends watched as the group conferred in hushed voices (except Jandia, who seemed incapable of speaking in an indoor voice). “I am growing impatient!” she barked above the murmur of hushed voices. Finally, Gerontius drew himself up and turned to the kids.
“We have come to a decision. We need to learn more of this place. Venturing out by ourselves would be…unwise.”
Of course.
All of a sudden, it dawned on Ralph that they would follow the rules of all RPGs. He needed to think of this as an adventure. And what was the first step after meeting the locals?
“You need a guide,” Ralph said confidently. “And here you have five of them.”
Mirak’s face lit up. It was still somewhat unsettling to see her smile, with her large mouth and jutting lower fangs, but if you concentrated on the eyes, it was all right.
Persephone swept over to the door and ceremoniously offered Mirak her hand. “I will gladly be your companion on this journey!” she announced breathlessly, in her best “I am an actress” voice.
Gerontius held out his hand to Cammi, who shyly came forward. “Young master Cammi, would you teach me of your people?”
Jandia strode up to Jojo, grinned, and patted her on the back with her large pawlike hand. “You are with me!”
Jojo coughed and regained her balance. “All right!” she gasped.
Bram made a low, exaggerated bow to Noel. “Young Noel, I have a feeling we are kinsmen! Come and let us adventure together!”
Noel nodded delightedly and bowed back.
Ralph turned expectantly to Torgrim, who was glowering at him. “I guess I’m stuck with you, Ralph.”
Ralph sighed. “The kids call me RPG, remember?”
“Oh, yes. But what means this…‘Arpy Gee’?” asked Torgrim, looking confused.
“They’re the initials of my name,” Ralph began, before deciding it was too long to explain.
“I’ll just call ye Arpy, then,” decided Torgrim, looking happier. “So, Arpy, have you a map to this town of millions, as you say?”
A map! Of course they would want a map. There was always a map in the games.
“We don’t need a map. What we need is information,” Noel said. “We know this neighborhood backward and forward.”
“Are there any thieves and brigands about?” asked Bram.
“Are you kidding? This is Brooklyn!” said Noel, laughing. “That’s why we have to be careful.”
“Okay, before we go, I gotta text GG to let her know we’re…uh, going for a walk.” Ralph turned away for a second to tap on his phone.
When he returned to the group, he found the adventurers gathered, awestruck, around an embarrassed Jojo. She also had her phone out, open to the weather app, with a shining sun and drifting clouds on the screen.
“The magic glass! It calls up the very heavens!” whispered Torgrim.
“What sorcery is this?” demanded Gerontius.
“It’s just a…Well, we use it to talk to people who are far away and get information,” Persephone said.
“It is an enchanted box indeed,” marveled Mirak.
“Take your finger and press there,” Jojo said. “It can make music too.”
“Perhaps this is a trap,” Bram said.
Jojo shot him a look. “Gosh, you always think the worst of people. Just press it already, Mirak. Trust me.”
Mirak tentatively reached out. “I do not need a spell?”
“If you end up getting captured inside that box, do not say you were not warned,” said Jandia, who crossed her arms. “The wizard and cleric have no magic to protect you here.”
Mirak locked eyes with Jojo and pressed the musical note icon. The screen changed and the music app opened. Mirak gasped with delight.
“Now push any of these,” Jojo instructed. Mirak pressed.
The tinny speakers boomed out the bass line from the hit of the summer, and the drum kicked in a dance beat.
The adventurers nodded to the beat.
“It is a song of war!” Jandia said app
rovingly.
“Actually, it’s a dance song,” Cammi said.
“But it has drums!” Jandia pouted. “It is a war song. Maybe a dance of war song.”
Jojo pressed the button to stop the song.
Mirak shook her head in amazement. “How incredible! You silence the magic with a touch of your finger.”
Noel turned to Ralph. “So what’s the plan?”
Ralph shrugged. “Just like in any game. We just need to go out there and hope to find someone or something that can help us.”
Persephone had moved to the front and opened the door. A blast of hot early spring air greeted them.
“How is this possible?” asked Mirak. “It is cool and fresh inside the house, but fierce as the burning sun outside.”
“What sorcery is this?” Gerontius said.
“There’s a machine that takes the hot air and changes it into cool air inside the houses,” Noel said helpfully. “Most people here have them.”
“Truly remarkable,” said Torgrim as he removed his helmet and wiped the sweat from his gleaming head.
The party headed out into the sunlight and proceeded down the steps of Ralph’s stoop.
It was a late-April Saturday, and most of the families who lived on the block were either away for the weekend or enjoying the weather in the parks down by the piers. The quiet stillness was broken by the clanking of the swords, armor, and boots of visitors as they clumped down the stairs.
“I didn’t realize they’d be so noisy,” Cammi said to Persephone.
“I know. I don’t think they’d be very good at sneaking up on people in real life.”
Suddenly, a voice spoke in her ear. “Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Persephone jumped and whirled around to see Bram, smiling that smirky smile of his.
“I forgot about you,” she said. “You are a pretty good sneak, I guess.”
“Comes in mighty handy, my girl,” Bram said, “and it keeps people from talking about you behind your back.”
Ralph saw that Jandia had strode ahead of the others, taking Jojo along down the block toward downtown Brooklyn. The rest of the party caught up just as they turned the corner, where there was the sound of hammers striking stone.
A crude voice called out, “Hey, guys! Get a load of her!”
Ralph winced. He knew that voice. It belonged to one of the workmen on the street. Brooklyn Heights was a charming place filled with old brownstones, as the buildings were called (after the sandstone that was used to cover the bricks that made up most of the houses). Because the houses were all old, inevitably one or more of them were being restored at any time. The workmen on this particular house were big and burly and talked loudly, making nuisances of themselves, especially at lunchtime. Usually they were off on weekends, but sometimes the bosses brought them in on Saturdays to finish a job before the owners came back.
The man who spoke was wearing a sweat-stained sleeveless T-shirt and a yellow safety helmet. He was holding a hammer and a chisel. He was leering at Jandia.
He had two buddies. One had a bandana wrapped around his head and no shirt. His pink belly gleamed with sweat, and he was pushing a wheelbarrow filled with wet cement. The other had a baseball cap on backward and was wearing overalls. He held a trowel.
“Niiiiiiice!” Bandana said.
Jandia stopped. Gerontius held up his hand, keeping the rest of the party back from Jandia.
“This isn’t going to end well,” whispered Cammi to Gerontius.
“We shall see,” answered the wizard with a small smile.
Overalls made kissing noises. Yellow Helmet put down his tools and cocked his head. “Smile, beautiful!”
Jandia coolly looked from man to man.
“Whatsamatter, honey? We’re telling you you look good,” said Overalls. He stood in her way.
“I would suggest you let the lady pass,” Jojo said in the nicest way possible.
Yellow Helmet laughed. “I don’t see no lady here. I see a chick in skintight shorts showing off everything she’s got!”
“This is going to be good,” said Torgrim.
Jojo smiled grimly and started backing away toward the others.
“And she’s got a lot to show,” said Overalls, guffawing as if it were the funniest thing anyone had ever said.
“Come on, sweetie. Don’t you got anything to say? We’re just being friendly.” Yellow Helmet took a step toward the barbarian.
Ralph felt he had to do something before things got ugly. “Guys, I really wouldn’t mess with her—”
Bandana answered Ralph without taking his eyes off Jandia, a nasty look on his face. “Nobody asked you, kid. Besides, we’re just playin’. Right, boys?”
The others laughed, but it wasn’t a good laugh. It was an ugly laugh. Filled with something gross and dirty.
It felt like it took less than a second.
Jandia picked up the man in the yellow helmet by the scruff of his neck like he was a puppy. She shook him and threw him into the wheelbarrow of cement. The gray muck splattered his two friends, who moved toward her. With a growl, she grabbed Bandana by the waistband of his jeans and the other man by the back straps of his overalls. She held them up for a moment, like two wriggling fish.
“I don’t like the way you talk,” she growled. She dropped them to the ground in a heap. They sat there, stunned, eyes wide.
Jandia turned to the others. “Should I let them live?”
“Yes, please!” said Ralph. “I don’t think they’ll give you any more trouble.”
Yellow Helmet climbed out of the wheelbarrow. He was shaking.
“No more talking like that, do you understand?” Jandia hovered over the shaking Yellow Helmet.
“No, ma’am,” he said in a little voice.
“We didn’t mean no disrespect,” said Overalls in an even smaller voice.
“I think you did,” Jandia said. “I know your kind.” She leaned in to the three cowering men. “If I hear of you not being nice to women, I will come back.”
Bram came up and peered around Jandia. “Good gentlemen, if she does come back, I assure you she will cut off at least one part of your body. And I don’t think she’s decided which one yet.”
There was a brief silence. And then the sound of clapping from across the street.
Ralph looked over and saw a nanny from one of the families from up the block with her stroller. There was also a young woman in colorful nurse’s scrubs, and another with rainbow twists and a turquoise yoga mat. They were all applauding.
“You go, sister!” yelled the lady with the mat.
“They bother me every time I walk past!” added the nanny.
The nurse exchanged a high five with the nanny. “Me too! It’s the last thing I need after a twelve-hour shift.”
Jandia smiled as she watched the men clean themselves up.
She squared her shoulders. “All right. Now where?”
Ralph knew just the place. Where do campaigns always start?
Ralph called the kids together. “Look, every time we come to a new town in the game, where do we head?”
“A tavern!” said Cammi.
“So where’s the nearest tavern?” asked Jojo. “I mean, it’s not like we have them on every corner….”
“Also, we’re kids and can’t go into one. Maybe we can find the modern equivalent? Like—”
“A coffee shop!” Ralph said, nodding. “My mom loves the Brooklyn Beanery. Let’s try there.”
They headed back to the adventurers, who were perched warily on a nearby stoop, looking around for more threats.
Gerontius looked up. “We are in your hands. We do desire food and drink. Is there a tavern nearby?”
“That’s just what we were discussing,” said Ralph. But food and drink? They’d ju
st eaten half the food in his family’s fridge. How hungry and thirsty were these people?
“Only one problem,” Persephone said. “We don’t have any money.”
“I have three hundred dollars from my birthday!” Noel said. “But it’s in the bank and I’m supposed to save it for college.”
“Payment is not a concern, Arpy,” Torgrim grunted. “Bram has a purse full of coin and I have a terrible thirst. So let us be off to this place.”
Ralph turned to Bram. “About those coins…”
Bram pulled a small pouch attached to a cord around his neck. He opened it and proudly showed a handful of small round pieces of copper.
Gerontius raised an eyebrow. “I see concern in your faces. Surely there is enough there to get us what we need. The greediest taverner in all of Demos would not require that much for a simple meal.”
Ralph stepped in. “I don’t think they’ll take your money. Copper is, well, not very valuable here.”
Bram shrugged and put the coins back in his purse. “ ’Tis a pity. This is all we have in the world.”
Noel laughed. “Well, sure. If you don’t count that gold piece you stole from the mines of Ramgash and sewed into the seam of your vest.”
Bram’s eyes went as wide as saucers. “H-how could you have known that? What spell have you cast on me?”
Torgrim’s face turned to an unpleasant shade of purple. “You WHAT?! Stole from a dwarven mine? I should pull those sharp little ears off your head, Rogue!”
Mirak stepped between the two smaller men, keeping them apart. “Explain yourself, Halfling. You have kept these from us?”
“I swear!” Bram protested, pointing at Noel. “He has put a spell on me! He put that coin in my vest!”
Ralph cocked his head at Noel. “In a way, he’s right. You did steal that coin when we were in the mine.”
“I was a rogue! What was I supposed to do?” Noel beamed. “I knew it would come in handy someday.”
Cammi pulled on Gerontius’s robe. “It doesn’t matter how he got them. The important thing is that we can use gold.”
The elven wizard knelt down and clapped Cammi on the shoulders. “The youngling speaks wisely, does he not? Arpy, is this indeed the coin of the realm?”
The Game Masters of Garden Place Page 11
