Gerontius gazed at the screen on the back with astonishment. “Such amazing sorcery,” he murmured.
Torgrim and Noel were bringing cases up from the cellar just as Ralph reached the bottom of the stairs.
When they started their business, Ralph’s parents had lugged their own equipment from one commercial shoot to another. Backdrops, cameras, tripods, everything. Nowadays, they just rented it.
Thankfully they hadn’t gotten around to selling their old equipment; they’d just stowed it downstairs. And the cases were exactly what the kids needed: the large, tubelike case that held the backdrops and frame fit the swords and bow perfectly. They even had a dolly to wheel it all on. Torgrim’s chain mail and helmet fit into one duffel bag, and the robes of the others fit into another. There was a large hard-shell case that was just right for Torgrim’s war hammer, and they were done.
“I need to be able to move,” Jandia complained. “This is too tight.” Cammi had put her in a small sweatshirt and leggings, which emphasized her strong thighs and calves.
“You look great!” said Persephone, who was putting up Jandia’s hair.
Jandia scowled. “Why does he get to keep his cape?”
Cammi sighed as he adjusted Gerontius’s pants. Since the elf was so slim, they had decided to get him women’s sizes, which he somehow still made look elegant. His ears would be a problem, so they’d gotten him a beanie to hide them. He definitely looked eccentric.
“He’s supposed to be the photographer, so he’s allowed to look a little…different,” Ralph explained.
Jojo reached into the bag and got out the accessories they’d bought at the street vendor.
She handed Cammi a bandana, which he carefully wrapped around the large head of the dwarf.
“What is my role, Arpy?” Torgrim asked.
“You are what’s called the assistant to the photographer,” said Ralph. “You help with carting all the bags and basically setting up the shoot.”
“I am a servant?” growled Torgrim. “A servant to the wizard? Absolutely not.”
“It’s a part,” Persephone said with irritation. “We keep telling you, you’re just pretending.”
“I love it!” said Bram, preening around the room.
“You would.” Mirak smiled. “It’s what you do best.”
“Why isn’t the bard a servant?” groused Torgrim.
“She is the producer,” Ralph tried. He had given up explaining all the roles to everyone’s satisfaction. The only one who was important was Bram.
Noel remembered that one of his most powerful skills was the ability to impersonate anyone. So he would do all the talking.
They had showed him a video entitled “Behind the Scenes of a Commercial Shoot” on Jojo’s phone. Once he and the others had gotten over the marvel of moving pictures on a screen, Bram watched it a few times and then nodded. It was uncanny how he had internalized the speaking patterns and the mannerisms of an arrogant celebrity supermodel’s assistant.
He cleared his throat. “Listen, man, have you any idea what the budget is on this shoot? We’re running behind as it is!” Bram looked at the children.
Persephone clapped her hands. “That was amazing. Perfection.”
Bram glowed. “I suppose if I knew what any of it meant it would be better, but this will have to do.”
Cammi moved over to Mirak and arranged the long scarf they had gotten at the street vendor around her neck, puffing it up so it would hide her lower jaw. In his expert hands, it had become both a disguise and a fashion statement.
Cammi stepped back. “Well, I wish I had more time. I’m sorry….”
“What are you saying?” Persephone said. “They look great!”
It was true. Cammi had somehow transformed the group of ancient adventurers into a hip team of fashionable creative types who would be checking into the hotel for a photo shoot.
“What if we need to do battle on the way?” Jandia asked. She was reaching into the large case and grabbing her sword. After a few tries, she was satisfied she could reach it in seconds. “I still do not feel right about leaving here swordless.”
“I will protect you, my lady,” Bram said. He opened the blazer to reveal that he was still wearing Salt and Pepper strapped to his shirt.
“Somehow I do not feel better.”
“You used a funny word to describe Jandia,” Mirak said to Jojo. “What was it you called her?”
“A supermodel,” Jojo responded.
“No, it was another word,” Gerontius said.
“We called her the star,” Persephone said, “because she is.”
Jandia looked uncomfortable. “I am no star. I do not shine.”
“But you do, my barbarian queen,” said Bram. “Brighter than any in the sky.”
“Enough with your jokes, or I will cut out your tongue,” snapped Jandia. But there was a small smile on her face. “Lying rogue.”
Ralph took one last look around the living room. It was now three-thirty. An hour and a half to get them into the hotel and figure out their next step.
His friends had helped him clean everything up and make it look almost as if no one had been there. All the trash was in a large plastic bag they would deposit in a public trash can on their way to the hotel.
As a last touch, Ralph handed out hip-looking dark glasses, knockoffs from the street.
Gerontius looked at them, confused.
“They’re sunglasses,” said Noel. “Put them on.”
“But we’re inside,” Torgrim protested.
“You wear them everywhere,” Cammi explained.
“But that makes no sense,” said Mirak. “If they are sunglasses, shouldn’t they—”
“Yes!” said Jojo through gritted teeth. “It doesn’t make sense. It’s fashion. It’s not supposed to make sense.”
The adventurers put on their sunglasses.
Ralph and the others stepped back and marveled at the transformation.
Jojo snapped a photo of them. She turned and showed the visitors. “Looking pretty sharp, right?”
Jandia gasped. “It is an image of us! Frozen in time.”
Gerontius was about to speak, when Ralph held up his hand. “We know. ‘What sorcery is this?’ ”
“Actually, I was going to say it was a lovely likeness,” Gerontius sniffed.
“Yeah, right. You were totally going to say that,” drawled Bram, in his “assistant’s voice.” He turned to the kids and winked.
“You’re so good at that it’s scary,” said Persephone.
“You’re not so bad yourself, sweetheart,” he answered, adjusting his blazer and pushing his glasses up onto his head. He definitely had the look down.
Ralph glanced at his watch. They had an hour. Plenty of time to get to the hotel, check them in, and get home before his parents.
This was going to work. No one would ever know about it.
Except GG, who had just come through the front door.
“We are betrayed!” exclaimed Jandia, reaching for the tube that held her sword.
“It’s my sister!” Ralph said, grabbing her arm.
“Ralph, you want to tell me what’s going on?” GG said, eyeing the strange-looking people surrounding her.
All eyes turned to Ralph. “They’re friends of Mom and Dad’s. You met them at that holiday party last year.”
GG looked dubious. “I don’t remember—”
“GG!” Ralph said. He pulled her aside. “Sure you do. That group that stayed by themselves in the corner? The ones everyone was talking about?” He desperately hoped some of Bram’s skill at bluffing had rubbed off on him.
“I…think so. The tall dude with the gray hair looks familiar. Did he do a job with them?”
“Yes!” Ralph said, as if this were the most o
bvious thing in the world. “Of course he did.”
“What was his name, again?” GG whispered.
“Gerontius!” Ralph said. “How could you ever forget a name like that?”
“Right…,” GG said. She turned and addressed the group. “Gerontius! Right?”
Behind her back, Ralph gave a “just play along” look to Gerontius.
“Great to see you again!” GG continued. “I’m so sorry my folks aren’t here.”
“Yes, well…we took a chance,” Gerontius said.
Bram stepped forward. “Hey, babe. Bummed your parents aren’t here. We were so stoked about shooting your parents.”
GG looked confused.
“Oh, you’re so funny!” said Persephone, laughing incredibly convincingly. “He meant to say ‘meet’ and said ‘shoot’ instead!”
“They’re so jet-lagged,” said Jojo quickly. “We were just walking them a little way to their hotel.”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” GG said to Gerontius. “Usually nothing will pry them away from their game.”
“Yes, the game,” Gerontius said, smiling weakly.
GG shook her head. “You should see these guys pretending to be wizards and barbarians and stuff. They’re so into it.”
“It sounds like a lot of fun,” said Mirak pleasantly.
“Have you ever played?” asked Torgrim, adjusting his bandana.
GG laughed. “Me? Yeah, I don’t think so. I can’t see myself hanging out with a bunch of wizards and bards or whatevers. That’s not going to happen.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised,” said Noel. “You never know.”
Ralph had a feeling Noel would be too tempted to give more away if they stayed much longer.
“We’ll be right back,” Ralph said. “I have my phone. We’re just walking them partway to the Beveren.”
“I dunno…I should check with Mom and Dad first,” GG said, taking out her phone.
“GG, don’t bother them on a shoot with something like this,” Ralph said. “The last time, Mom got all mad because they were in the middle of a crisis, remember?”
GG thought for a minute. “I guess that’s true. But if you’re not home by the time they get here, I’m not covering for you.”
“It’s literally going to be like fifteen minutes!” Ralph said.
“Just make sure you’re back, because I’m not dealing with anyone else’s parents,” GG said.
The other parents. Great. One more thing for them to worry about.
Jojo pulled at Jandia’s sleeve. “Okay, guys. We’re off.”
Torgrim grunted as he pushed the dolly down the stairs to the street, followed by the others.
* * *
The bored young man in the black form-fitting T-shirt was aimlessly flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine when he looked up to discover an amazing scene at his welcome desk at the Beveren. He had gotten used to all the geeks and nerds who had been checking into the cheapest rooms in anticipation of tomorrow’s convention, for whatever corny board-game thing the hotel had booked. He was glad he was off in fifteen minutes.
But these were no nerds or geeks. Instead he was greeted with the sight of a group of fashionistas, as the staff called them. From the looks of the luggage, they were here for a shoot.
He smiled as a small man in a blazer approached.
“Well, hey there, Gorgo,” said Bram, peering at the name tag on the young man’s shirt. “We’d like to check in as soon as possible.”
“I’d be delighted to help you,” the young man said, adding acidly, “It’s pronounced ‘Giorgio,’ by the way.”
Bram gave him another huge smile. “You know, I really don’t care how it’s pronounced, Gorgo. I have a photo shoot to arrange with an international supermodel, and every minute is costing me money.”
Giorgio snapped to attention. “Of course, sir. May I have your reservation number and credit card?”
Ralph handed the sheet to Bram and whispered in his ear. Bram nodded. “Here’s the reservation information.”
Giorgio typed the information in and nodded. “Very good, sir! Now all I need is that credit card.”
“We will be paying in cash,” said Bram, pulling out a roll of bills from his pocket.
Giorgio turned slightly pale. “This is rather irregular. We usually require a credit card.”
Luckily, Ralph had already rehearsed Bram on this possibility.
Bram leaned in, and said in a low voice, “Listen, this is for a Japanese magazine. Kawaii Kitty Girl. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?”
Giorgio looked confused for a moment.
“Ah.” Bram sighed. “It’s really only read by the hippest people in the business. So it’s not surprising that—”
“Of course I’ve heard of it!” protested Giorgio. “I have a subscription!” Seeing as there was no such magazine, it was clear that Bram wasn’t the only one who was good at bluffing.
Giorgio looked over at Jandia, who was tossing her hair about and doing her best to remember all the things Cammi had taught her. She pouted and tried to look as unhappy as all the starving women in the magazines they’d shown her.
“She looks so familiar,” Giorgio said, trying to catch her eye.
“That’s Jandia,” explained Bram.
Giorgio looked confused. He thought he knew the names of all the supermodels in the business. “Is she new?”
“I’m sorry. Maybe you didn’t hear me. She’s Jandia?” Bram said, looking over his dark glasses in shock.
Giorgio immediately nodded. “Ohhh…of course. Jandia. Please forgive me. She looks different in person.” He yelled out to her, “Welcome to the Beveren! I’m Giorgio!”
Jandia bared her teeth at him.
“Wow. She is fierce, isn’t she?” said Giorgio.
“You don’t know the half of it,” said Bram pleasantly.
“We still need your credit card and you’ll be on your way,” Giorgio said.
“As you know,” Bram said conspiratorially, “these companies pay for everything in cash. Tax purposes. Makes things easier for everyone. You understand, of course?” Bram asked.
He peeled a fifty-dollar bill from his roll and put it between himself and Giorgio. “I would really appreciate your help in this matter, Gorgo.”
Giorgio looked around and put his hand over the money. Hey, for fifty bucks, the little guy could call him Gorgo.
“All right,” he said, typing a few more things on his keyboard. “I think we’re all set. I’ll need a cash deposit as security in case of damages.”
Bram took the roll of cash and spread it out on the counter. “Will this do?”
Giorgio coughed. “Yes, yes. Very nicely. Here you go! You have a suite of rooms on the eighteenth floor. Elevators to your left.” He handed a set of key cards to Bram, who looked confused.
Ralph scooped up the cards and pulled at his sleeve. “Thanks so much.”
“Wait, who are you?” Giorgio asked, eyeing the kids suspiciously.
“Um, we’re…we’re…” Ralph turned to Persephone for help.
Persephone knew what to do. Everyone always made assumptions about what Asian country she was from, and she bet this guy was no different. She swept to the front of the group and grabbed the key cards, then bowed.
Giorgio broke out into a big grin and bowed back. “Irrashaimaste!” he said proudly, mangling the Japanese welcome.
“Hai, Dozo,” she answered.
“Her parents own the magazine,” Ralph informed Giorgio, who nodded his understanding.
“So you’re her friends,” he reasoned.
“Exactly,” said Jojo.
“I do hope you enjoy your stay,” said Giorgio as they headed to the elevator banks.
“She looks so much skinnie
r in her photos,” he mused as Jandia walked past.
“I didn’t know you knew Japanese,” Cammi said to Persephone.
“I only know that from when they greet you at a sushi bar,” Persephone said. She glared at Ralph. “We were lucky that’s all the Japanese he knew too.”
“I panicked,” said Ralph. “Sorry about making you do that.”
“Just don’t make a habit of it,” Persephone said.
“But how are we to get all this up eighteen flights of stairs?” asked Torgrim, eyeing all their baggage.
Jojo sighed. “Don’t worry. This is an elevator. We get into the box and press a button and it takes us up to our floor.”
Jandia let out a low growl. She had been keeping herself in check for the entire walk over to the hotel, and even kept quiet as the men around her seemed to regard her as a piece of meat.
She was not going to be trapped in some box.
“I will check for traps,” Bram promised as the door slid open. He gazed upward. “Look there!” He beamed. “An escape door. We can crawl up that if we have to.”
Jandia relented, and they moved all their stuff into the car. Just as the doors were closing, a young couple entered.
The elevator smoothly moved upward, and the man whispered to Ralph, “That’s Jandia, isn’t it?”
Ralph tried not to look alarmed. “Why…yes. How did you know that?”
“The man at the desk told us,” the woman said excitedly. “Do you think we could get a picture with her?”
“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Jojo chimed in. “She’s a little touchy about that.”
“I totally understand,” the woman said as the doors opened. The band unloaded their gear and exited the elevator.
“We love your work!” the young man called after Jandia.
It had taken longer than Ralph had hoped to settle the adventurers into their room.
Just explaining how to open the door was a challenge. He finally had to tell them the card was an enchanted scroll that needed to be inserted just the right way in order to gain access.
The Game Masters of Garden Place Page 16
