“How was your day off?”
“I helped Simone move out of her apartment.”
“So, you basically spent your day off working?” He held a hand out to signal for her to go first when the elevator doors opened. “When are you not taking care of other people?”
She shrugged. “It’s what I do.”
“When’s she leaving for L.A.?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
He didn’t miss the trace of sadness in her voice and the sound tore at him. “Are you working that day?”
“Yes, but it’s okay. She’s leaving really early in the morning. Probably around the same time I have to leave to get here.”
“I don’t know how you early birds do it. Before Bailey ended up here, my idea of early used to be ten o’clock.”
As she moved past him to swipe her ID badge due to the early hour, the slight puffiness around her eyes caught his attention. “Late night?”
“What makes you say that?”
“I’ve seen you almost every day for the last month and I, of all people, know what someone looks like after a late night out. It’s in my job description.”
She grinned. “You caught me. Simone and I went out.”
“What’d you two ladies get into?”
“Dinner, drinks, and dancing. All of our favorite things.”
“Sounds fun.”
“It was,” she leaned against the wall and took a sip of her coffee. “How’s Leo? Did you guys get a lot done? Did he like the new songs?”
“He did, yeah. It’s been nice having him around. At the rate we’re going we’ll have a whole album’s worth of music ready to record when we get home.”
She nodded. “So, Dave liked what you guys have been putting together, too?”
“He’s into it, except for my one brilliant idea to add in a little yodeling. He put the kibosh on that idea.”
“I’m surprised. Who doesn’t like a little yodeling?’
“Right?” he grinned. “But, those guys can be such killjoys sometimes.”
Lexie tilted her head to the side and smirked at him, the look playful and sexy enough to turn him on. He glanced down the hallway and when he found the area deserted, he reached out for her hoodie and pulled her near.
“I’m glad you’re back.” He let his lips convey how much until they were both breathless.
“Me, too.”
As they stared at each other, Lexie’s heart hammered against her ribs in overexcited anticipation he might kiss her again. His mouth was only a breath away. One more inch by either of them and his lips would possess hers again. Her legs threatened to give out. A tremor moved up her arm. Wait, what? As she tried to think through the hormone haze currently flooding her entire brain like a fog, her phone vibrated in her bag, sending another tremor through her arm.
“Do you need to get that?”
The moment lost, she took a step back and dug a hand into her bag. She thought of where she’d left Simone sleeping on her couch, one arm flung over her face. It was highly unlikely she would be awake, but who on earth would be calling at this hour? She turned her phone over in her palm and her stomach sank.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to take this.”
“No problem.” Oliver started down the hall a few steps in front of her to give her some privacy.
She sighed and answered, “Hey, Donna. What’s wrong?” Because something had to be wrong. There was no other reason in the world she would call her at this hour or at any other time for that matter.
“Oh, baby,” she whimpered on the other end of the phone, “it’s over.”
“You mean with John?”
“Of course, I mean with John!” She sniffled again.
Lexie pinched the bridge of her nose. She never should’ve answered the call. “What happened?”
“His tennis instructor. That’s what happened. And, after we bought this house together. I mean what am I supposed to do now?” Her mom didn’t wait for her to reply. Instead, she launched into a rant about the bimbo who’d just cost Lexie another stepdad. “Can you come down to Florida for a few days? I don’t think I can go through this alone. Maybe we could go out and have some girl time, just you and me.”
Her fingers tapped on the edge of her phone. “I don’t know, Donna.”
“Come on, sweetie. I need you.”
“Well, I have work.” Lexie’s eyes focused on the place between Oliver’s shoulders. Would he still be there when she got back? Did she want him to be? She wasn’t stupid. She knew she was one step away from falling off the cliff into love’s oblivion where Oliver Honeycutt was concerned. She shook her head. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t get the time off, problem solved. “I don’t think I can.”
“Just once I wish you could put your own needs aside and think about mine. I didn’t raise you to be so selfish.”
The words stung and churned the guilt roiling in her stomach. The guilt she hated, but couldn’t seem to suppress. Hadn’t she put up with this kind of thing from her mother her entire life? There was only one person who mattered to Donna and that was Donna.
“I’m sorry, D—Mom, but I can’t.” She tugged on one of her hoodie’s strings. “I’m at work. I need to let you go.”
“It’s barely even six a.m. Why are you at work?”
Lexie opened her mouth to launch into an explanation, one she was pretty sure she’d given before, but Donna didn’t let her get started. After another drawn out guilt trip her mother finally hung up.
Lexie inhaled through her nose and exhaled the same way.
“Everything okay?” Oliver asked when she reached his place near the locker room.
“Yeah, fine.”
He reached over and grabbed her hand. Startled, she looked down at their joined hands and then up at his face.
“What’s going on, Lexie?”
“I’m tired and a bit hung over if you want to know the truth.” Her attempt at lightening the mood, failed.
“I call bullshit. I know you, and something’s wrong.”
She tried to pull her hand out of his grasp, but couldn’t. Trapped and unhappy about being called out on her deflection, her temper spiked. “No, actually you don’t know me. Now please release my hand, Mr. Honeycutt.”
“Mr. Honeycutt? Are we back to that now? I’m trying to be your friend here.”
“Don’t bother.” This time she jerked her hand free and ducked into the locker room where he couldn’t follow. As she changed clothes, her anger continued to build, the contents of her brain threatening to implode as though in a pressure cooker. It hadn’t been fair to take it out on Oliver, but he’d been standing there with his perfect life and his perfect family. What did he know about her life? How could he possibly understand what it was like to feel more like the parent than the kid? His mom cared what happened in his and Bailey’s life. She stood by them, protected them, and fought for them. The only people Donna ever fought for were the men who made the mistake of getting caught in her sights.
Lexie dropped her head into her hands and fought the urge to cry. Maybe it was better this way. Oliver could cut out now and save them both a lot trouble. It wasn’t like they could have something meaningful anyway . . .
She’d tried once before for happily ever after and had come dangerously close to following in Donna’s footsteps, the one thing she swore she would never do. Of course, this was different. She and Oliver weren’t together. Sure, they were spending time together, but that was it. They hadn’t slept together or even been on a real date for that matter. So, why did she feel so guilty about how she’d spoken to him? Because, she’d been a jerk, that was why. Her issues were her own.
Lexie pulled the door open to apologize, but Oliver was gone.
Lex
ie knocked on Mr. Roberts’s door and when she got no response, she entered and found him dozing. As she read through his chart and discovered his body was showing signs of rejecting the latest meds, her heart stumbled. Over the past several months his health had slowly been in decline and now the end seemed too close to bear.
“Hey there, Miss Lexie.”
Lexie blinked a couple of times to clear away her unshed tears and conjured up her best smile. “Hey, sorry I woke you.”
“That’s all right. All I do is sleep these days. I don’t have the energy to do much else.” Lexie moved over and sat in the chair by his bed.
“You look tired, Miss Lexie.”
“You’re not the first person who’s told me that today.”
He attempted to push himself more upright against his pillows, the effort too hard for him on his own. Lexie placed a hand on his arm to help him move, his bones fragile in her hand. Once settled, he smiled. “Were you busy with a special someone?”
Lexie laughed, “Hardly. I haven’t been in here five minutes and there you go, worrying about my love life again.”
“I hate to think of you being unhappy. You’re a sweet, pretty girl and you deserve to be as happy as my wife and I were.”
Lexie reached out and held Mr. Roberts’ liver spotted hand between her own, his touch comforting the way she imagined a grandfather’s would be. Tears sprang to her eyes and she did her best to hide them, but it was no use.
“What’s wrong with you today? I ain’t going anywhere, yet.”
“No, of course not. It’s not that.” She wiped at her cheeks. “You’re right. I want what you and your wife had. I want to be happy, but it’s not as easy as you make it sound.”
“Posh. You just have to find the right fellow.”
“I’ve found the wrong one a time or two,” her voice sounded watery and she hated it. Hated getting upset over silly dreams and what ifs.
“The right one will come along and you won’t even remember those others.” He squeezed her fingers. “Miss Lexie, don’t get caught up in the past.”
She looked into Mr. Robert’s faded blue eyes and wondered how it was he seemed to read the worries of her heart.
“It might make you miss someone better who is right in front of you.”
“You are a wise man, Mr. Roberts,” she kissed his knuckles and laid his hand back on the bed. “I have to go now, but I’ll be by to see you later.”
Lexie made her way back down the hall and stopped by the nurse’s station. “Laura, would you help me with Bailey’s platelets today?”
“Sure, when?”
“I need to stop by and see my other patient and then I’ll be ready. Say, ten minutes?”
“Sure I’ll meet you down there.”
Lexie kept moving and made her way further down the hall lost in her own thoughts. She wasn’t looking forward to facing Oliver again, not after the way she’d spoken to him. Guilt niggled under her skin the way it always did after she let her temper get the best of her. She’d been out of line. Her temper was not one of her better qualities and more often than not it got the best of her. It had always been an issue between her and Mike. Of course, his little infidelity problem was a bigger issue, but he didn’t see it that way.
Though still embarrassed by her little outburst with Mr. Roberts, she meant what she’d said to him, she did want to find someone to share her life with. She wanted to be happy, but she never allowed it to happen. Mike had broken her heart and worse than that, he had taken away her ability to trust. Logically, she knew all men weren’t the same, but she didn’t want to chance being humiliated all over again. It was the path Donna had chosen over and over again and unlike her mother, humiliation wasn’t her style.
She couldn’t let go or take the leap or have faith. None of the clichés worked for her. Simone insisted it was because she had yet to meet the right guy. She always told Lexie that when the right man came along he wouldn’t let her freeze him out. Lexie wasn’t sure she agreed with Simone on that point, but it was a nice theory. It meant there might be hope for her after all.
She took a deep breath and pushed down on the handle to Bailey’s room. He was chatting with Laura when she walked in, but there was no sign of Oliver. She waited to feel relief at his absence, but she didn’t. Instead, a strange emptiness filled her.
“Okay, here we go,” Laura started the process and while they worked, Lexie remained quiet and did her part, but the peace was short lived.
Halfway through the platelet transfusion, Oliver walked through the door with a large cup of coffee in his hand. Her efforts to avoid any and all eye contact with him were pointless because he barely acknowledged her presence the entire time they were in the same room.
Laura was either oblivious to the tension or she was smart enough not to comment. Either way, Lexie would take it. She knew she needed to apologize, but she didn’t want an audience.
“Okay, guys, I think that will do it. I have to run. Lexie, let me know if you need anything.”
“I will, thanks.” So much for her buffer.
With a wave Laura was gone and suddenly the room felt smaller. As Oliver sat with his ankle resting on his knee, she couldn’t help but brush his leg as she passed. “Sorry.”
“Not a problem.” His voice wasn’t cold exactly, but it wasn’t friendly either. Lexie made a note in Bailey’s file and then, after mentally stomping down her pride, turned to face Oliver. “Could I have a minute?” She jerked a thumb toward the hall.
He nodded.
She offered Bailey a smile as she turned to leave and he returned it, but the curiosity in his eyes suggested he’d be asking his brother about what was going on later.
She blew out a breath. There was no time to worry about that now. As soon as the door closed behind him, she launched into her apology. Better to tear off the Band-Aid all at once in her experience. “About earlier,” she started, already feeling like a fool. “I’m sorry about how I acted. I know you weren’t trying to pry.”
“You got that right.”
Okay, so he wasn’t going to make this easy. Fine. She deserved it. “I guess I got defensive because you were right. Everything wasn’t fine with me.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Go on.”
“Last night was our last night out. You know Simone and mine, before she leaves. It was our way to put off the inevitable goodbye for as long as possible. Well anyway, we went out to dinner and we ran into someone from my past,” she paused and took a deep breath. “Let’s just say I wish we hadn’t.
“We’ve all got people from our past. Whoever you saw must’ve been bad if it’s still bothering you today.”
She folded her arms over her chest in a mirror image of Oliver, but hers wasn’t so much a stalling tactic as it was a way to keep her insides from spilling out all over his shoes. How much baggage was she supposed to dump on this poor man? “You could say that, but it wasn’t just the guy. This morning . . . that phone call. It was my mom.”
“Ah.” He nodded slowly as though processing what she said. “I know your relationship with your mom is complicated, but why don’t you fill me in so I might be able to understand what one has to do with the other.”
She bit her bottom lip as she searched for the right words to try to make him understand. “How about I’ll explain part of the crazy and spare you the other? I don’t think you have time for all of it.” She didn’t want to talk about her mother either, so less was more. Unless one already had the privilege of knowing Donna, they couldn’t truly understand, but she owed him an explanation.
“Years ago, I was engaged to a guy named Mike. We met in college and dated for two years before he asked me to marry him. I thought he was the one. I spent a lot of time planning out the rest of my life and in the end I wasn’t the one he
wanted.”
“Just like that he changed his mind?” Oliver studied her with intense eyes, but his hurt from her earlier behavior was no longer evident.
“Well, I called it off after I caught him with a girl from his office in his car. It’s nothing that hasn’t happened to thousands of other people. I’m not the only one who’s ever been wronged in a relationship. I get that, but for me it wasn’t the guy so much as it was the shocking revelation I was on the path to turning into my mother. How could I have not seen that Mike was a creep? I mean, I’d practically been raised around every bad relationship imaginable. There were cheaters. Verbal abusers. Drinkers. You name it. And, there I was, suddenly about to mirror my mother’s behavior.”
“That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
A slight pull tugged at her heart because he understood or he was at least trying to. “You’re right, but that only made it worse. I was angry for a long time.”
For some reason talking to Oliver about Mike was easy. She guessed it was because Oliver wasn’t trying to make her feel better or downplay what had happened. He was, as he’d pointed out earlier, being a friend.
“Was last night the first time you’ve seen him?”
“Yes, and he was with his new fiancée. Seeing him transported me back to a dark time in my life and I’ve worked hard not to repeat my mistakes. Then, with my mom calling this morning, it was just too much.”
“I get it.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to placate me. I know I’m all kinds of messed up.”
“I’m serious. You aren’t the only one of us with parental issues. My dad was a lead singer with a drug problem who OD’d. Believe me, I get it.”
Lexie stared at him for a long second as it occurred to her she’d never thought about where his dad might be. Bailey was in the hospital and not once had a dad been in the picture. She should’ve realized. “I’m sorry.”
A Face in the Crowd Page 16
