“I know you do,” I say, inhaling the bonfire smell that seems to accompany Cooper these days. “I love you too. You’re my big brother, right? Leah would be so proud of you,” I say.
The mention of his late sister sees him fighting down tears, but he squeezes me tighter. “You know that I need you. I know I joke and can be a prick, but I need you, Teds. I’m not sure I’d know who I am without you. You think I’m a good person, so I am a good person. Without you, who am I?”
“You’re Dominic Cooper and you don’t need me to tell you that you are a good person for it to be true. You deserve a great life, Coop, and I’m going to see that you get it.”
“I know what that son of a bitch is capable of. I’m scared for you.”
“Don’t be scared, be angry. Be angry for what we’ve all been through and everyone we have lost.”
“You know me, angry I can do,” he jokes, holding me at an arm’s length. “I don’t know about being a good person, but everyone now thinks that I’m a bloody wet blanket. Thanks for that, Sis.”
“You’re welcome, Bro,” I say. We share a cheesy smile. “I know someone else who’d be proud of you,” I say. He tilts his head. “Fabian.”
He shoves me away like you’d expect a big brother to do to his annoying, kid sister. “Get lost before I start blubbing and my rep is damaged beyond repair.”
“My rep must be shattered,” Adam says from behind us. His eyes are puffy and red and he looks simply broken.
“Emotion doesn’t make you weak,” I say, softly.
Cooper doesn’t say anything, he just pulls Adam into an embrace. He whispers something that makes Adam smile, and then slaps him affectionately on the side of the face. “Where would she be without us, eh?” he asks Adam. “God knows she likes to get herself into these situations.” With an antagonising wink over his shoulder, he heads off to the med lab to see Crow.
“How’s Crow?” Adam asks, linking his fingers through mine.
“Not quite with it, but he’s stable.”
He nods, clearly relieved, but unable to process anymore emotion. “Can you spare an hour?”
“Is there a meeting?”
He shakes his head. “No, planning starts this evening. I was hoping you would read to me.”
Taking his face in my hands, I tiptoe to place a gentle kiss on his warm mouth. “Until I lose my voice,” I reply.
CHAPTER FORTY
The tech lab is fairly empty when I finally arrive with Celeste. She’s not usually involved in the meetings, but seeing as it is Ethan who shall be making contact, Adam encouraged Rafe and Fernan to let her listen in. Other than the three of them and Celeste and I, only Kesh and Lorrell remain.
Rafe stands one side of me, whilst Adam occupies the other. Both of them impede my personal space, as if being close to me will in some way keep me safe from Ethan’s words as they come out of the speaker.
“Towley has the Technokins holed up at an experimental facility in Yorkshire. I’ve patched through the coordinates to Kesh. There are powerful EVO at this lab for the purpose of research, so I can only imagine what they’re going through. If Teddie were to hand herself in, that is the only lab equipped to hold her that we know of.”
“And you’re sure on this?” Adam asks.
“That we know of?” Ethan repeats. At least he’s not got false confidence. “My father has spoken to Towley personally about this facility. It is Towley’s go to place for powerful EVO. He mentioned no other.”
“Couldn’t your father or Minister Cox get a chip inside?” Fernan asks.
“They have no business being at any facilities or detention centres. Their being there would only raise questions and scrutiny.”
Rafe remains silent, his eyes searching my face.
“I think the more important issue you face is why Teddie would willingly hand herself over in the first place,” Ethan adds.
“I’ve lost people at the detention centre,” I say.
“No offense intended, but you’ve lost people throughout this whole affair. It needs to be more than that, or at least something Towley will understand.”
Rafe twists in his chair. “You sound like a man with an idea, Ethan.”
“What if it was Adam who died in the bombing? Towley knows of the relationship between them. He knows of Adam’s continued involvement in the rebellion. Of course, he would have been at the detention centre, and there is every chance that he was killed in action.”
“That’s actually a good idea, “Rafe admits. “Strong motivation for Teddie.”
Adam sucks in a breath, but doesn’t look to contradict the suggestion. “How and where does Teddie hand herself over?”
“Believe it or not, this will probably be the easiest aspect of this mission,” Ethan continues. “There is a military outpost about seven miles from the facility. If Teddie hands herself over at that outpost, it is almost definite that she will be transferred there. In relation to your worries expressed in your message, all of you have ‘exterminate on sight’ orders upon your heads. That is, all except Teddie, if it so happens that she is alive.”
Fernan preens, and I expect it is all she can do to not shout ‘I told you so’ at the top of her lungs.
“And how is it that Teddie – we - know of this outpost?” Rafe asks.
“That is the ingenious part. The outpost used to be a TORO training facility back in the early days of the project. One of the TORO Squad must remember the place.”
There is silence as everyone processes the ingenuity of the plan. Even Adam can’t fault the logistics. The fact that everything seems to fall into place so easily is enough to ignite confidence in my belly.
Ethan clears his throat. “However, we need Towley to be at the facility when Teddie arrives at the outpost. If he is partial to Teddie, his security over her well-being is essential. That’s where things get a little trickier. Towley’s next visit to the facility is in two days’ time. After that, his schedule may keep him away for two weeks or more. It’s up to you how fast you act.”
“We don’t have two weeks,” I state. “We barely have food enough for one week. We do this in two days. Is everyone agreed?”
Rafe and Fernan both state their agreement. Adam squeezes my hand and holds it against his chest. “Agreed, but if this goes wrong, I may as well have died in that centre.” He kisses my knuckles, and then heads for the door.
“Give him a minute,” Rafe says, patting my shoulder. “He needs to clear his head, and we need to get on with planning.”
Lorrell gets to her feet, smoothing out the creases in her wool skirt. “First things first, the chip.”
Kesh hands Celeste a headset, so she can talk to Ethan privately for a few minutes, and the rest of us gather around an unimpressive looking microchip. It’s about half a centimetre long, but still big enough to be detected.
“Where do I hide that?” I ask, turning it over in my fingers.
Kesh opens a file on the computer. It’s an x-ray of teeth. “You have a filling in your back molar.”
I gawp at the image on the screen. “You have my dental records?”
Kesh ignores my question. “We will extract your filling, insert the chip, and fill it back in.”
Oh, what a joy. I hate dentists.
***
Sitting in a chair whilst Jonah drills out my filling and clutching at Adam’s hand like I’m being tortured is my idea of hell. Cooper pointed out that I was less of a wimp when I was actually being tortured. I seriously hate dental work.
“It took her father three weeks to get her to the dentist to have that filling put in in the first place,” Shana says. I’m surprised she remembers that. “She would have put up with toothache rather than go anywhere near the dentist’s chair.”
Jonah takes the drill out my mouth, giving me a breather. Adam has to wipe his hand in his jeans because I am sweating so much.
“When I was thirteen, I had a nightmare that I had a telekinetic episode in the dentist ch
air. It stuck with me,” I say, flexing my jaw.
“Ready to go again?” Jonah asks.
I lie back, open my mouth, and clench my eyes closed tight.
“I’m putting the chip in now and will fill over the top of it. It’s not going to be as secure as an ordinary filling, so you need to be careful when chewing, and you may experience some discomfort.”
A pathetic whimper escapes me as Jonah roots about in my molar. It is bizarre how something so unthreatening and straight forward can incite such irrational fear. That dream really did impact me, and despite what I have been through since, my psyche is afraid of the dentist.
“Hardcore,” Adam says into my mind, and then he starts humming Iron Maiden’s The Trooper into my head. It helps.
***
Knowing there is a computer trip buried in my tooth is a little off putting. I keep running my tongue over the new filling, half expecting to find it poking out. My lip is still numb, so I’m trying to avoid talking and drooling over everyone.
Watching people eat in the canteen is excruciating. Jonah has given me a two-hour fasting period. Two hours isn’t much, but my stomach thinks that my throat has been cut and gurgles in protest. The pellets have never looked so appetising. Some eat them dry, some add a touch of water and mush them in bowls like wheat biscuit cereal. I just want to eat something before my stomach starts to eat itself.
A boiled sweet is dropped on the table in front of me. Jonah slides into the seat beside mine with his pellet meal in his plastic lunchbox and starts polishing the spotless cutlery he keeps upon his person. I had joked with Jonah about his lack of sugar-free lollies and stickers for my effort in his faux dentist chair, and somehow, he has sourced a real-life sweet.
Patting my hand, he says, “That’s for being a brave girl.”
His sense of humour is making an appearance lately.
“Where’d you get it,” I say, holding my numb lip up with my fingers.
“It was in the pocket of a coat that I claimed from the laundry when I first arrived. It may have been through the washer, but its wrapper is still intact. I shoved it in a drawer and forgot about it. I wouldn’t be putting it anywhere near my mouth if it has been through the wash with people’s smalls.”
I tuck it into my pocket. “I won’t turn my nose up at it. I haven’t had anything sweet since the chocolate bar that Wheeler stole…”
I catch myself, swallowing down a surge of emotion. The burial takes place soon, and the memorial is this evening. The thought of it forces away my appetite.
Jonah continues polishing his cutlery, waiting for me to compose myself. “Impartial counsel time,” he states. I nod my head, blinking back tears. “Do not go into this mission with revenge as your motivator. Justice is what you seek, and fighting for justice will hold you steady. Justice for those who have suffered, those you have lost, is more satisfying than revenge.”
“I don’t see the difference.”
“You will when and if the time comes. Justice will ensure that you can live with yourself after all of this.” He opens his lunchbox, cuts the pellet into three equal sized pieces, and then cuts those three pieces into two again.
“Can I return the favour?” I ask. He looks up from his perfectly cut pellet. “Don’t ever change who you are, Jonah. Always cut your food with surgical precision, always fix your glasses with the blue plasters, and always be my friend.”
He lowers his head bashfully. “You’re a very forgiving person, Teddie.” I scoff. “No, you are. You forgave me, you forgave your mother, you forgave Rafe and your Shift friends. That’s why I know that revenge won’t serve you well, not in the long run. You can forgive, but first you need to see injustice rectified. Never stop being that person- the person I am proud to call my friend.”
“I’ve killed people,” I state, matter of fact. I don’t want him disillusioned about who I am, or who I have to be.
“You had no other choice. I know you well enough to know that to be true. I pride myself on being a good judge of character, even when people have me by the throat intent on throttling me.”
I laugh. “I like this Jonah. He makes funnies.”
“I like this Teddie, she isn’t trying to beat me up.”
October walks into the canteen and scans the faces until she finds me. Jonah instantly blushes, straightening his bow tie and running his hands through his hair. I’ve never seen Jonah so unravelled, and I’m sure it’s down to October’s presence.
“They’re preparing for the burial,” she whispers, solemnly. “Emiko was asking for you.”
I haven’t properly looked at October in a long while. Her dark roots have grown out, so only the bottom half of her hair is purple. It’s not as noticeable as Bo’s lack of peroxide blonde hair. Her brunette, buzz cut still stuns me. October, however, maintained the shaved part of her head, revealing her tattoo. Jonah can’t take his eyes off of her.
“I’ve finished the book on phlebotomy you leant me,” she tells him. “Perhaps you could test me later.”
“Of course, come by after supper. I found another on vein integrity that may be of interest to you. I’d be happy to go through it with you.”
It’s October who blushes this time. Her attention is drawn to my bemused face and she clears her throat in embarrassment. “I’m interested in learning phlebotomy. You know, taking blood. Jonah’s helping me. I thought it would be a useful skill to have, especially after… well, just after.”
“There’s a good career to be had as a phlebotomist,” Jonah agrees. “I know the medics here will always welcome a competent phlebotomist to delegate to, and you’re a conscientious student. And with your beautiful ability, you could calm even the most distressed of patients.”
October smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. This is the weirdest flirting I have ever been witness to, but each to their own as they say. Excusing myself to go up-top, I pocket my pellet for later.
Jonah grabs my wrist. “Remember what I said.” He stands and hugs me. This one is much better than his first awkward attempt.
“You’ve been working on that,” I say, hugging him back.
“No, I just really mean it,” he replies, stepping away.
Leaving Jonah and October to their conversation about vein integrity, I make my way to the TORO camp to try and comfort my friend who is about to bury her fiancé.
Emiko paces back and forth at the entrance to the TORO camp. When she sees me, she rushes to forward, taking my hand and dragging me into her tent. “Will you be a pall bearer?” she asks. I literally can’t find words. “We have Adam, Cooper, Jude, Kesh, Seth, and I was hoping you’d be the sixth.”
Grasping her shoulders to calm her, I sit her on the bed. “I’m confused? Where did you get a coffin?”
“Rafe had some in storage. So, will you do it?”
My tummy knots at the thought of having to be pall bearer for a friend. “Of course, I will. I’m honoured to be asked.”
She exhales, smiling through tears. “It felt right to do it properly. This is how Wheeler would have wanted it under difference circumstances. We haven’t been able to honour the others in the same way… Golding, Haydn.”
No one has been given a burial except Boyd and Norah, and even then, it was undignified and rushed. This does feel right. This isn’t just for Wheeler, but for them all.
“Wheeler would have been proud of you for this,” I tell her.
“He would have been proud of you for what you’re doing,” she replies. “I heard Adam and Fernan talking a few minutes ago. The details of the mission are going to be announced after the memorial. Did I hear right… two days?”
“Yes, but today’s not about that.”
There’s a knock on the table outside the tent. Adam’s head pops under the door flap. “I thought I heard my two favourite girls in here,” he says. “Emi, everything is ready when you are.”
He tucks his hands in his pockets to disguise the shaking. I’m fairly sure Emiko notices it too.
“It’s going to be alright,” she says, kissing his cheek. “We keep moving forward because that’s what Wheeler would want. Nanakorobi yaoki.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
As Seth and I are the shortest, we are paired together at the back. Jude shows us how to link arms across our shoulders to support the coffin. I’m listening and learning, and then I’m overwhelmed and crying. This sets Adam and Seth off again.
“How many times should we have done this, but we never got the chance?” I sob. “Dad, Golding—” I start crying again, but straighten myself up. I need to keep it together for Wheeler, and for Adam. “Sorry, guys. I’m good. I’ve got this.”
Jude and Kesh are in front of us, and Cooper and Adam lead. The coffin was brought in the back of a truck to a sunny clearing just behind the base. Emiko politely refused Rafe’s offer of burying Wheeler in the Shift burial plot as it is quite a shaded spot. The clearing is definitely more Wheeler. He’d laugh at us negotiating rabbit warrens and mud with his weight on our shoulders.
It is a small affair, just those closest to Wheeler out of respect to those that haven’t had the opportunity to bury friends and comrades. Darcy stands beside Rafe. It’s the quietest and stillest I have seen him apart from when he’s asleep. He knows this isn’t the time for fun and games.
I find it hard to concentrate on what is said by Jude who has been appointed officiate. Even when Emiko and Adam place posies on the coffin, I feel distanced. My attention is entirely on the coffin that holds a twenty-four-year-old man who didn’t deserve to die. We don’t get to see his smile anymore. He won’t call me Baby Girl ever again. I have to pinch the bridge of my nose to stop from breaking down. This just makes Jonah’s words even harder to act upon. I want revenge as much as I want justice. In this moment, I want to kill Towley with my bare hands, so I can feel his last breath leave his throat.
“Dad will look after him for you,” whispers Mum. She stands behind me with a posy of her own.
EVO Nation Series Trilogy Box Set Page 81
