by Tina Martin
Then there was her future to contemplate. What did she want to do with her life? Volunteering was a good start, but at some point, she wanted to be independent. To take care of herself. She couldn’t take care of herself without making money and while volunteering was rewarding in itself, it certainly wouldn’t pay any bills.
And then there was Royal…
She wasn’t hearing things today. He actually said he couldn’t stop thinking about her, but then again, if she was being honest with herself, Royal always said something flirtatious whenever he came around her. But it seemed to be happening more frequently to be mere coincidences. No, he was doing this intentionally. But why?
“Hey, Gem,” Gianna said, breaking into her thoughts.
Gemma looked up at her sister and smiled. “Hey.”
“Slide over so I can sit down.”
“Gianna, there are a million chairs out here and you want to sit next to me?”
“Yes. Now slide your skinny butt over.”
Gemma moved over enough to give Gianna clearance to recline beside her.
“Ah,” Gianna said. “Me and baby sis…just like old times.”
“Oh, crap. Please tell me you’re not going down memory lane again.”
Gianna laughed. “No. It’s just crazy how different life is now. When people say your life can change in the blink of an eye, I know exactly what they mean.”
“Yeah. You met your prince charming and now you’re living your happily ever after.”
“Not only that but think about everything else that’s changed, Gemma. You are better now, thank God. We don’t have to struggle anymore. The bakery is doing outstanding. My nerves are under control—well partially. Ramsey still makes me—”
“La, la, la,” Gemma said covering her ears. “Nobody wants to know what Ramsey does to you. Keep that to yourself.”
Gianna laughed. “Anyway, my point is, we’ve come a long way.”
“We have. I still need to figure out what I want though. After having conversations with Royal, I realize I want more for myself. I want to know why mom is such a nutcase. Or if she really is a nutcase. I want to know if she actually has legitimate reasons for leaving us.”
“Well, I can save you some time there, Gem. She’s already told—”
“I know what she told you but I feel like I need to talk to her personally to see where her head is at.”
Gianna nodded. She could understand that even though she knew what the outcome would be. Geraldine had some serious issues, and surely Gemma would see that for herself if she decided to meet with her.
“And I want to know if I have a father,” Gemma continued.
“You deserve to know those things, Gem. I wish I could’ve found those answers for you.”
“You’ve done enough for me, Gianna. I’m getting better now. It’s time I start doing some things for myself.”
“Have you been studying for your driver’s test?”
“I have. I’ve decided that I’m going to take my time because I only want to take this test once. I’ve heard horror stories about the DMV.”
“Oh yeah,” Gianna chuckled. “You don’t want to get stuck at the DMV. I’d rather eat a gallon of cottage cheese than make that mistake.”
“But you hate cottage cheese.”
“That’s the point I’m trying to make.”
Gemma chuckled, then stared up at the star-sprinkled night sky. “I’m surprised your husband ain’t out here looking for you yet.”
“That’s because I told him I was coming out here to check on you.”
“Oh.” Gemma released a breath. “So, I have a confession to make.”
“And what might that be?”
“Um…” She was too nervous to say it at first, then she blurted out, “I think you were right about…”
“What?”
“Royal.”
“In what aspect?”
“That he likes me.”
“Aw shucky duck,” Gianna said.
Gemma laughed. “The expression is shucky ducky, Gianna.”
“Whatever. I told you Royal liked you! He’s been feeling you since forever.”
“No, he hasn’t. In the beginning, there was a clear distinction of us being friends. Now, I don’t know. He’s always saying things—like how beautiful I am, and how he can’t stop thinking about me.”
Gianna’s eyebrows raised toward her hairline. “He actually said that to you?”
“He told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me when I talked to him earlier. I think it slipped out though because shortly after he said it, he found a reason to get off of the phone.”
“Jeez, Louise! And I thought Ramsey was bold. I had known him for all of two days when he sucked chocolate off of my finger. Now, he licks it off of anyplace he—”
“La, la, la….oh, my poor ears,” Gemma said.
Gianna giggled.
“Ramsey turned you into a lil’ freak, huh?”
“No. It’s just what lovers do,” Gianna explained. “But I don’t have to explain. You’ll find out soon enough. Royal’s flavor of choice might be caramel. You know it takes longer to lick off caramel.”
Gemma looked at Gianna and said, “If you weren’t pregnant, I’d push you right off of this chair.”
Gianna couldn’t stop chuckling, placing a hand on her stomach as she did so. “Karma is so sweet,” she said. “Remember when you used to tease me about Ramsey liking me? Huh? Now, it’s payback time! Royal likes you and you don’t know how to take it.”
“I don’t know how to take it because I could never see anyone falling in love with me. I mean, not to say that Royal is falling in love with me…I’m just sayin’. I never imagined a man finding me interesting, especially one like him.”
“He’s never told you that he loves you?”
“Well, yeah, but it’s in a friendly way like, love ya, girl. You know. It’s not like the dreamy-eyed love. The kind of love like when Ramsey looks at you. I can see love in his eyes and all up in his facial expressions when he looks at you. I don’t see that when Royal looks at me. Maybe it’s there. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know. I never had it. Never experienced it, so how would I know?”
“Well, let’s look at the facts. First of all, he always wants to be with you. Second, I’ve watched him, on several occasions stare you down when you weren’t looking. He likes to steal eye shots of you when you’re unaware.”
“Gosh…that’s so nerve-racking.”
“Why?”
“Because half the time, I look a hot mess. I have no figure so I don’t even know what he’s looking at.”
“You do have a body. Listen…if a man really likes you, which we already know Royal does, he’ll be more focused on the person you are on the inside instead of the outside.”
Gemma nodded, then pulled her phone from the right pocket of her sweater when she felt it vibrating. She looked at the display and said, “Oh, shoot. It’s Royal.”
“Welp, that’s my cue,” Gianna said standing up. “I don’t want you to catch a cold, so don’t stay out here too much longer, okay.”
“I won’t.”
She waited until Gianna was a good distance away before answering the phone. “Hello.”
“What you mean, hello? You know who this is?”
Gemma gnawed on her bottom lip as she listened to the sexy tone of his voice again. “How are you tonight, Royal?” she asked. Conversing with him seemed a lot different now that she had reason to believe he was feeling her.
“I’m good, but I’d be a lot better if I was there. With you.”
She smiled, letting his words float around in her mind. When she settled back down to earth, she heard him ask, “What are you up to?”
“I’m sitting outside by the pool.”
“It’s not raining there?”
“No.”
“It’s pouring down over here,” Royal said.
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
�
�That’s crazy. I wish it was raining here. I love the rain.”
“I do, too,” Royal said. “It does something to me.”
Gemma chuckled. “You mean like when the old people say it messes with their arthritis?”
“No.”
“Then how?”
“It turns me on. Don’t ask why. It just does.”
“Oh,” Gemma said, deciding she wasn’t going to ask him a thing more about being turned on or nothing else related to his desires.
“I wish you were here,” he told her.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. He wished she was there after he just admitted to being turned on by the rain? Is that what he said? Yeah, that’s what he said. She was sure of it. But just to make sure, she asked, “What’d you say?”
“I said, I wished you were here.”
“Uh…” She swallowed hard. Okay, she’d heard him correctly. Why did his voice have to sound extra smooth and delicious though? Jeez. “You—you said you wish I was there?”
“Yes. That’s what I said, Gemma. Is something wrong with your phone?”
She could hear a slight chuckle come across the line when she asked, “Why do you wish I was there?”
“Because I miss you. I haven’t seen you all day. I hate not being able to see you. Hate it.”
A chill or something like it ran through her bones. “I missed you too, Royal.”
“No, you didn’t,” he teased.
She laughed. “I did.”
“What’d you miss about me?”
“That ginormous bear hug you usually give me.”
“That’s it? You miss my body?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It is. You miss my body,” he joked. “Admit it.”
“I will admit no such a thing, silly,” Gemma said, tickled. “Anyway, did you get things ironed out with Ramsey? I know you were a lil’ upset earlier.”
“Yes. I think he understands me now.” Understands how much I love you.
“Good. I’m glad everything worked out.”
“Me, too. On another note, looks like I’ll be heading to Paris for a week.”
Gemma frowned. “You—you’re going to Paris for a whole week?”
“Yes, unfortunately. Me and Regal will be flying out Monday morning.”
“Oh,” Gemma said trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. The knowledge of knowing she wouldn’t see Royal for a week was disappointing. She wondered if she’d get a chance to spend some time with him before he left.
“Gem?”
“I’m here. I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“You leaving. I don’t know if I like that, Royal.”
“I know. I don’t like it either, but it’ll go by fast.”
“Can you at least come by and say goodbye to me, first?”
“Gemma, I’m not leaving until Monday, bae.”
“I know, but—” she sighed, but her heart was constantly racing.
“Talk to me, Gem.”
“Okay. Tomorrow’s Wednesday. As it stands, I haven’t seen you at all today and I—I just—when am I going to see you again?”
“You sound panicky. Stop it.”
“So, I’m not supposed to care, Royal?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I—”
“Then when am I going to see you again?” she asked. She didn’t care that she sounded needy and desperate because she was those things. She’d grown close to Royal and was used to having him around and now, he was going to be gone for an entire week? What was she going to do without him for a week, especially after they’d been inseparable for three months? “You know what. Forget it. I’m trippin’. I’m sure you’ll show up whenever you get ready, so—”
“Do not hang up on me, Gemma.”
“Then say goodnight to me and I won’t have to.”
Silence.
Long, awkward, painful silence.
Royal wasn’t about to say goodnight and influenced by the austerity of his warning tone, Gemma wasn’t about to hang up. So the silence lengthened. Grew. One minute. Then two. Then…
“Okay. I don’t like where this conversation is headed,” Royal said, “So before either of us say something we don’t mean, I think it’ll be best to end it.”
End it. End what? The conversation? The friendship? Gemma was so angry, she had no clue what he meant. She just wanted to hurry up and get off of the phone.
Royal continued, “So, I’m going to say goodnight, and—”
“Goodnight,” she responded quickly right before hanging up the phone. She stood up and walked toward the house. What the heck just happened? One minute, she was on cloud nine telling her sister how she thought Royal liked her and the next, she was abruptly ending a phone call with him and feeling bad for doing so. And he was going away to Paris for a week. That’s what really bothered her. For the first time during the course of their friendship, she was forced to recognize that he held all the cards when it came to them. The only time she saw him was when he made himself available to see her. When he drove over to Ramsey’s house or came by to pick her up to take her to the movies or out to grab a bite to eat. He held the cards, and she didn’t like that one bit. Never before did she need her independence more than she needed it right now. But one just couldn’t be independent without a driver’s license and a job. That’s what she needed to focus on instead of sweating a man who may or may not want her.
Chapter 14
Gemma clicked the submit button, successfully submitting her application. She folded the laptop closed then looked at the driver’s handbook. She was beyond tired with just doing that task. She had no energy left to study. She needed to be wide awake and refreshed before trying to learn about right of ways and the meaning of double yellow center lines.
“You have a package, madam,” Carson said, stepping into the kitchen, carrying a box.
“I do?” Gemma asked, looking up at him as he brought a medium-sized box into the kitchen.
“Yes. Would you like for me to open it for you?”
“Oh, no, Carson. I can open a box, but thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Carson placed the box on the counter, in arm’s reach of her. “Is everything okay by the way? I noticed you looked a little down at breakfast this morning.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said dismissively.
“Nothing, you say? I didn’t know Royal went by the nickname nothing these days…learn something new every day, I reckon.”
Gemma glanced up at him. She knew he was a wise man, but a mind reader, too? “How’d you know it’s about Royal?”
“I would say lucky guess, but I know better. Nothing calls me every single day to check up on you.”
“He does?”
“Yes, indeed. Sometimes multiple times a day.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Not this time, madam.”
Still not believing a word he said, she asked, “How long has this been going on?”
Carson chuckled. “You make it sound like a conspiracy.”
“It is…somebody’s doing something behind my back. Isn’t that like…wrong on so many levels?”
“Not when what’s being done behind your back is in your best interest, dear.”
I guess it wouldn’t be, Gemma surmised. “So tell me…how long has he been checking up on me behind my back?”
The old man couldn’t get the amusement off of his face. “For quite a while.”
“How long is a while?”
“Since you were released from the hospital after your surgery, madam. Just yesterday he called and chewed me out about leaving you here alone. You must’ve told him I ran out to do some shopping.”
“I mentioned it casually when I spoke with him, yes, but I didn’t think he was mad about it, and I definitely didn’t think he would call to fuss at you.”
“Well, let me tell you…I had to hold the phone away from my ear.”
“It was that bad?”
“Yes. That bad.”
“Carson, please accept my apology on his behalf. He gets too protective of me and sometimes, he doesn’t know when to take a step back.”
“No, it’s alright. It’s fine by me. I can’t be mad at the man for showing how much he loves his woman.”
“Ah…uh…um, I’m sorry.” She shook her head as if to physically juggle her thoughts together. “What was that?”
“I said, Royal loves you. You do know that, right?”
“Um…” Gemma scratched her head. “He gets on my nerves, Carson, like really, really bad.”
Carson smiled. “That’s only because you love him, too.”
“Ugh…love, love, love. Why does everyone keep tossing this word around like it’s disposable?”
“It’s not disposable. It’s liberating. It’s what people live for. What people long for and if you’re lucky enough to find it, and by all accounts, you have been, then you better hang on to it.”
“Carson, did you not hear what I just told you? Royal get’s on my nerves.”
Carson laughed harder. “Oh, young love. I remember those days. Boy, I tell ya…”
Gemma looked at the man like he was crazy. Was he not listening to her or what? He seemed to be in dreamland. Reminiscing about when he was younger and whatnot.
Before she could offer another complaint about Royal, Carson said, “I lost my wife a long time ago. What I wouldn’t give to have an argument with her now…”
He set about his business and she sat there thinking about what it was he was trying to relay to her. Dang it, she hated it when people made her see a point. Made her see the importance of loving people while they were still here because tomorrow isn’t promised and all that jazz.
But who knew that better than her? There were many days when she thought her tomorrows would be nonexistent. When she felt like her life was ending – a horrible feeling for a young woman. A horrible feeling for anyone. But just because she couldn’t predict the future – did that mean she wasn’t entitled to her feelings? She felt like she was, and her feelings had her upset with Royal at the moment but more so at herself. She wanted independence. She wanted her life to start right now. Not later. She’d waited enough. She was tired of waiting.
