“Thanks, Bro,” Danny quipped, “just rub it in, why don’t you?”
Kevin looked up and smiled (really smiled) for the first time in weeks, and Danny’s heart soared. He brought his thumb up to wipe the last of the tears from his little brother’s cheeks and then closed his arms completely around him as Kevin snuggled in closer again.
“So, how come you didn’t tell me?” Kevin questioned after a while.
“I couldn’t, Bro,” Danny responded.
“Why not?”
“There’re a whole lot of reasons.”
“Like what?”
Danny was quiet for a moment. “It’s complicated, Kev,” he said, finally.
“Can you tell me now?”
“I can try, I guess,” Danny affirmed, wondering where to start. “It’s kind of a tradition,” he went on at last.
“Great tradition,” Kevin scoffed, hiding his face once more as tears burned his eyes.
Danny couldn’t help laughing a little as he squeezed his little brother’s shoulder. “It is, actually,” he returned seriously. “You haven’t figured it out yet, have you, Kev?” he whispered.
“Figured out what?” Kevin inquired. A knock on the door prevented Danny from answering.
“Who is it?” Danny cried irritably.
“Room service!” came the high pitched response.
“Damn it!” Danny cursed under his breath but couldn’t help smirking all the same. “It’s not a good time, Ry,” he warned. There was a long pause and Danny waited, listening intently to the nonexistent sounds outside the door. “You see, Kev,” he started again when all seemed quiet, but another knock interrupted the thought.
“What??” Danny exploded.
“Housekeeping . . . .” This time it was Steve’s barely recognizable falsetto voice that floated through the door, and now even Kevin couldn’t help laughing a little.
“Beat it!” Danny commanded.
There was a pause and then, “No Habla Ingles!” came the reply.
“Sorry, Kev!” Danny muttered, and he got up from the bed, and went to the door as Kevin brushed in frustration at the tears that persisted in streaking his cheeks.
“What do you want, guys?” he started, cracking the door just wide enough to peer out at them. “It’s not a good . . . .” He stopped in mid-sentence as his eyes fell on the packages his brothers were carrying, and they grinned at him. “You knew?” Danny demanded, opening the door wider. Steve and Ryan just simpered at him. “You bastards!” he accused laughingly. “You totally fucking knew!”
“So, are we just going to stand out here in the hall all night?” Ryan quipped.
“Yeah,” Danny teased, and he started to close the door.
“Come on Bro,” Steve laughed, wedging his foot in the door. “Let us in before we drop something.”
“Would serve you right,” Danny griped, but he swung the door open, stepped back to let his two impish brothers pass, and then shut it securely again behind them.
“Hey, Kev,” Ryan greeted as he placed his boxes carefully on the desk.
“Hey,” Kevin returned the greeting half-heartedly. He resented having his time with Danny interrupted, especially when he was just about to get some answers, finally. “What’s all that stuff?” he asked, indicating the boxes Steve and Ryan had brought in.
“Well,” Steve began, “rumor has it that someone around here had a birthday not too long ago.”
Kevin raised his eyebrows, hopefully, feeling all of a sudden a great deal more cordial towards his two oldest brothers. “Those are for me?”
Ryan laughed. “You know someone else who just had a birthday?” Kevin smiled sheepishly.
“We just thought we’d celebrate it properly, Bud,” Steve asserted more seriously, and everyone was quiet.
“We didn’t mean for things to go down like they did, Kev’bo. We all want you to know that,” Ryan added softly after a minute.
“I know,” Kevin muttered. “It was my own stupid fault . . . .” His voice trailed off, and he looked down uncomfortably.
“Hey, Man, we’ve all been there,” Ryan soothed.
“Yeah, we have,” Steve agreed.
“Did Danny tell you what he thought?” Ryan threw a lopsided grin at his little brother.
“Ok!” Danny cut him off. “Yes, I told him. As you said, we’ve all been there, ok? No need to dwell on it.” With a crimson face, Danny made his way to the pile of packages, and plucking one off the top, sat down on the bed next to Kevin. “Here, Bud,” he pushed the box into his little brother’s hands as Steve and Ryan traded looks of amusement. “Open this one, first. It’s from me and Ryan.”
“You guys didn’t have to do that,” Kevin started quietly.
“We wanted to, Bro,” Danny assured.
“I don’t deserve it,” Kevin remarked bitterly.
“Oh, Kevin,” Ryan laughed, “Danny had the thing picked out months ago and he’s been waiting all this time to give it to you. Just open it, Bud! And happy birthday!”
Kevin looked at Danny, and seeing the anticipation in his big brother’s eyes, he couldn’t help smiling a little. Finally, he turned his attention back to the box and taking no more than a moment to strip off the somewhat crude wrapping, he lifted the top. In that moment all else was forgotten.
“It’s authentic!” he squealed, jerking the blue, red, and silver jersey from the box, and all his brothers laughed as he hugged it to his chest. “I can’t believe it!” he cried. It was indeed an authentic New England Patriots jersey, sporting the number twenty-eight. Kevin had idolized the team since childhood. His dream was to play for them, someday. Number twenty-eight was a popular number that year and jerseys were hard to come by (even the replica jerseys). Authentic number twenty-eight jerseys were nearly impossible to get and very expensive. Now, there were not enough words in the English language for Kevin to accurately dispel his feelings of gratitude and enthusiasm. He hugged both his brothers a thousand times and kept holding the jersey up to himself. Finally, when it became apparent that he was not going to let go of it, Steve laughingly told him to shut up and put it on. Happily, Kevin complied. More gifts followed, lots of odds and ends that his brothers had felt it necessary for him to have (some of them related to school). The clear second favorite was an autographed picture of his favorite New England player (from Matt and Steve), but nothing delighted Kevin more than the jersey. He kept looking down and fingering the number as though to be sure it had not disappeared, and Ryan and Danny couldn’t help exchanging smug smiles of satisfaction.
Finally, only one package remained. An air of anticipation filled the room as Steve picked it up and Danny and Ryan once again sought one another’s eyes. The festive mood that had been developing was replaced by one of sober expectation, and Kevin felt it instantly. Danny brought his hand up to his shoulder, and Ryan moved from the desk chair where he had been sitting to sit on Kevin’s other side. Steve dropped to his knees before them and gently laid the package on their little brother’s lap. Kevin bit his lip. “Is this something I want to open?” he mumbled. None of his brothers answered and he looked at Danny. Danny met his eyes, and squeezed his
shoulder.
“Go on, Bud, it’s all right,” Ryan urged softly from the other side. Kevin swallowed, dropping his eyes again to the package as Ryan placed his hand soothingly against his back. Slowly, and with considerable dread, Kevin peeled back the paper and lifted the top of the box.
His cheeks burned and tears welled up quickly as he saw what was inside. He pressed his fingers to his eyes. “Do we have to do this?” he choked. “I’m sorry for the way I acted. I know I was a brat!” Tears started to streak his face and Danny’s stomach tightened. He placed his arm around his little brother once more and hugged him close. “I’m sorry!” Kevin sobbed, burying his face on Danny’s shoulder. “Please can’t we forget it? I just want to forget it! I’ll try harder from now on! I promise I’ll try!” he
whimpered.
“Kev,” Danny soothed, “this is not what you think, Bud. This is not about you or your behavior right now.” Kevin just continued to sob. “You know those questions you were asking me earlier?” Danny went on huskily. Kevin nodded. “Well that’s what this is about, Bud. Look at the handle.” Danny directed his little brother’s eyes back to the intimidating fraternity paddle that lay in the box. It was a minute before Kevin could bring himself to look, but finally he turned his head and wiped at his cheeks as he did his best to focus on the blurred object before him. “See the names?” Danny whispered.
“Oh, that’s great!” Kevin blurted, crying harder as he zoned immediately in on his own name. “That’s just fucking great!” he sobbed. “Now, the whole world will know what a shit head I was my freshman year. What an honor!” Ryan turned his head and Danny chewed his lip to keep from smirking, but Steve laughed outright.
“Well, Bud,” he assured affectionately. “You’re not alone. Look a little higher.” Kevin wiped at his cheeks again and tried to peer closer, but all the names blurred together. Finally, he made out Danny’s name just above his own. “Look higher, Bud,” Steve urged again, seeing that he was still confused. At last Kevin saw what his brothers wanted him to see. Before Danny’s name, came Ryan’s, before Ryan’s was Steve’s, before Steve’s was Matt’s and the string of names continued all the way up the handle, but what did it all mean?
“I don’t understand,” he sobbed.
“This is not just any paddle, Kev,” Steve explained. “This implement has been passed down for over fifty years, now, from the Rho Beta Chi president to his youngest brother upon completion of the Mandatory Meeting.” The look on Kevin’s face left his brothers in no doubt of his feelings regarding the tradition and Danny and Ryan were doing their best not to laugh. “It’s yours now, Kev,” Steve persisted. “Until next year, you are now its keeper.”
“I don’t want it!” Kevin cried, looking at the box with undisguised distaste.
“I know,” Steve acknowledged with a small smile. “I’d be surprised if you did, but it’s your duty, now, to keep it safe, until it’s time to pass it on to your little brother next year.”
Kevin just looked at his oldest brother blankly. “Don’t you need it?” he petitioned brokenly.
“Naw,” Ryan answered for his big brother. “This paddle is special, made especially for us. It’s nothing but the best for our royal asses. We get the polished oak, while the rest of the fraternity has to endure the lower class, everyday variety.” Steve glared at his little brother reprovingly and Ryan grinned crookedly at him.
“Don’t you understand, Bro?” Steve returned his eyes to Kevin, who now looked even more confused than before, and gently cupped his youngest brother’s face in his hands, forcing him to look at him. “We don’t do this idly, Kev,” he continued softly as his little brother sobbed. “We didn’t single you out to torture or humiliate you. Why do you think it was you, Bud, instead of James or Alex or one of the other fraternity miscreants?” Ryan and Danny both pressed closer as Kevin’s agitation visibly increased.
“I don’t know!” Kevin sobbed.
“Do you think your behavior was worse than theirs?” Steve asked softly. Kevin shrugged, and Steve used his thumbs to wipe the fast flowing tears from his little brother’s cheeks. “Well, it wasn’t,” Steve assured tenderly, looking intently into the tear filled eyes. “Many of your classmates deserved it just as much as you, Kev,” he whispered, “but they are not my brothers. As my youngest brother you have a responsibility to set and maintain a certain standard of behavior. Others will look to you, Bud. You have to set an example they can follow. We expect more of you, Kev, because you are capable of more, and when you’re not setting that example we have to come down harder on you than on them. They have to know that we are all accountable, that everyone in the house must abide by the rules or suffer the consequences.” Steve glanced at Danny and Ryan, but they avoided his eyes. “It has to be clear, Kev,” he went on softly, “that there are no favorites. You took your licks in one big dose, Kid, and you took them in front of the fraternity.” Kevin cried harder as feelings from that night rushed back on him and Danny squeezed his shoulder once more. “I know it’s hard, Bud,” Steve continued, “but it’s over, ok? And hopefully there will be no need for any repeats. Do you understand what I’m saying, Kev’bo?” Steve caressed Kevin’s cheek gently as his little brother sobbed. “It’s only supposed to happen once for you, Bud,” he whispered.
Kevin hung his head, and when, after a minute, he still didn’t respond, Steve got to his feet. He removed the box with the offending implement, and placed it once more on the desk. He then pulled Kevin to his feet and folded him in his arms. “You’re all right, Kev,” Steve reassured as his little brother buried his face in his chest. Ryan and Danny looked on quietly, fighting now with their own emotions. Steve looked at them again as he spoke comfortingly to Kevin. “It’s over, Bro, ok? Nothing but the most serious kind of infraction would induce me to summon you, now. Understand?” Kevin nodded against his chest, and Steve stroked his hair. “It’s only supposed to happen once,” he repeated. He was talking to Kevin, but his eyes never left Danny and Ryan and his two other little brothers cringed. Tears burned Danny’s eyes and he looked down, putting his face in his hands. Ryan slid closer to him as Steve went on. “You know what it feels like, now, Kev’bo,” he said. “You know how horrible it is to be on the receiving end of such a paddling. That’s important, Bud. Neither The Code nor the process of the summons is to be taken lightly. The paddle is to be used only in the most serious instances and as a last resort. Knowing what it feels like, makes it less tempting to abuse that power.”
“What power?” Kevin sobbed. “I don’t have any power!”
“You will,” Steve chuckled.
“What?” Kevin looked up at Steve with a bewildered expression that touched his oldest brother’s heart.
“Don’t you get it, Bro?” he asked softly, bringing his hand up to wipe away Kevin’s tears once more. “In three years, Kevin, you will be president.”
“Me?” Kevin exclaimed.
“Yeah, Little Bro, you,” Steve laughed at the look of astonishment. “What do you think about that?” As he tried to process it all, Kevin turned to Danny. Danny still had his face in his hands and Ryan had his hand on his back. His big brother nudged him gently and Danny looked up to find Kevin’s eyes on him. Kevin seemed not to notice his distress, and Danny had to smile a little at the shocked expression on his brother’s face.
“So, what do you think, Kev?” he repeated Steve’s question. Kevin thought about it for a moment; he was still trying to collect himself.
“I think,” he said finally and he paused.
“Out with it, Bro,” Ryan coaxed.
“I think,” Kevin repeated with another little sob, “that I don’t know if I really want to be president.” He hid his face on Steve’s shoulder again, and all his brother’s laughed.
“Welcome to the club, Kid,” Steve commented. “That’s how we all feel about it, but it’s not so bad. By the time you get here, you’ll be very used to the idea.”
“Come on, Bud, cheer up,” Ryan encouraged from the bed. “That’s three years away. I’m the next one on deck,” he asserted tentatively, watching his older brother for a reaction. He got none and Steve avoided his eyes.
“Yeah,” Danny agreed. “Don’t worry about it just yet, Bro. Lots of time between now and then.”
“Yes there is,” Steve agreed. “And in the meantime, Kev’bo, whenever you’re ready, I think there are a few more people who might like to wish you happy birthday.” “There are?” Kevin queried into his shoulder.
“Yes,” Steve smiled.
“Who?” Danny’s surprised tone echoed Kevin’s, prompting Ryan to grin too.
“Sean, Jesse, Alex, and James for starters,” he laughed, “but by now who knows? I believe they’ve invited all of Rho Beta X
i and only the good Lord knows who those girls will drag through the door.”
“The girls are invited?” Kevin looked up eagerly.
“Don’t sound so surprised, Bro,” Steve laughed. “We all like a good party. It’s just that there is a time and a place.”
Ryan’s eyes sparkled. “I hear there’s going to be cake and ice cream, and maybe even, now don’t quote me on this,” he quipped, “but I hear there might even be beer.”
“Beer?” Kevin’s squeak of excitement made even Danny laugh, now, as his little brother turned eagerly to Steve. “Can I have some, Steve? Just one or two? I promise not to overdo it!” Steve squeezed his shoulder, touched by the earnest appeal.
“Well, you have been working very hard, Kev . . . .”
“Hey, that reminds me!” Danny interjected excitedly. He picked up the report from where it still lay beside him on the bed and dangled it mischievously in front of his two older brothers. “Who here has ever gotten an A from Merrick?” he grinned.
“You mean besides you?” Ryan retorted.
“Yeah well, Danny is his pet,” Steve ribbed. “The man doesn’t give A’s to anyone else. It’s just a fact. Scored another miracle this semester, did you?” he smiled indulgently down at his second youngest brother.
“Nope, not me,” Danny could hardly contain himself.
“What? Let me see that!” Ryan made a grab for the report, and Danny let him have it. “Kevin!” Ryan exclaimed in disbelief. “Kevin got an A from Merrick??” he laughed.
“What?” Steve too had trouble concealing his astonishment. “Let me see.” Keeping his arm around Kevin, he stretched out his other hand for the report and Ryan gave it to him. “How’d you get an A from the biggest hard ass on campus, Kev?” he teased as he thumbed through the clearly legitimate report. Kevin shrugged and blushed with pleasure, looking along with Steve as his brother continued to leaf through the pages. The comments definitely had Merrick’s tone. Though Steve had never gotten anything so positive on his own papers, he had read the comments on some of Danny’s before.
The Fraternity Files Page 19
