by Jaime Maddox
Hesitating a moment, she watched Katie hop out, wearing some sort of Kentucky Derby hat on her head. She briefly acknowledged Jet with a brief wave as she rushed to open the rear passenger’s door. Before Katie completed her task, Jet was halfway down the stairs. She was startled to see the word CORONER printed on the door. Without breaking stride, she met Katie on the sidewalk and took a sleeping Chloe from her arms. The passenger doors, front and back, opened in tandem, and Andre jumped from the car to the sidewalk. “Jet,” he exclaimed, looking excited. From the front, an elderly African-American woman emerged, holding onto the car for support.
“Hey, pal,” Jet said to Andre.
“Jet, this is Nan. Nan, my friend Jet.” Katie quickly made the introductions and then without delay ordered Andre to follow Jet back up the stairs to her apartment. “I’ll be back in ten minutes,” Katie explained, then hopped into the car again. The sooner she had Nan home, the less likely she was to be caught taking her there.
She dropped her off at the end of her block, pulling to a stop where the street was dark. Both of them climbed out, but Katie rushed around to meet Nan on her side. “I’ll call you as soon as I can, and I’ll try to return the car in the morning. Please, please…” Katie was going to ask for Nan’s protection if and when the police questioned her. Then she thought for a moment and smiled. After what they’d been through this night, she was sure Nan would do whatever necessary to protect her and the kids. “I guess I don’t need to say any more, do I?”
“I’ve got your back,” Nan said.
Katie laughed and hugged her. “Thank you. I’ll call when I can, okay?”
“You make sure you do. I’ll be worrying about all of you.”
She turned to walk away, but before she’d taken a step, Katie spoke again. “Nan, there’s something else.”
Nan turned and looked at her, and though the light was poor, Katie thought she saw concern on her face. “What is it, honey?”
“I’m going to need your help about Billy. A funeral. I don’t know what to do.”
“Does he have a family?”
Katie shrugged. Billy had never known his father, and his mother had died of cancer when he was fifteen. Like Katie, he’d lived on the streets until Simon Simms took him under his wing. “None that I know of. Maybe a brother somewhere.” Katie vaguely remembered Billy mentioning an older sibling who’d left town.
“I’ll help you then. We’ll use Marker’s. They did a good job with Gerald, and you’ll get a discount ’cuz the owner belongs to my church.” Her reassuring smile suddenly replaced by a frown, she leaned closer to Katie, nearly whispering. “How are you going to afford this, Katie? Funerals aren’t cheap.”
Had it been only three hours ago that she’d told Billy she wouldn’t give him a penny? Now she’d be spending her inheritance—some of it, anyway—on his funeral. “I have some money saved,” she said, as she used her sleeve to wipe away fresh tears.
Nan nodded. “Okay. I’ll find out if Mr. Marker’s available.” They hugged again and Nan patted Katie’s back reassuringly, then turned and walked to the end of the block. Only when the porch light was extinguished did Katie finally pull away. She was parked in the space behind Jet’s apartment ten minutes later.
Jet’s door was ajar, and after crossing the threshold into the apartment, Katie turned and double-locked it. She checked to make sure the curtains were drawn, then kicked off her shoes and followed the sound of voices into Jet’s kitchen. Andre was perched on the counter, with Jet standing guard beside him. Drinking a glass of milk out of a bending, curving, transparent straw, Andre said, “Look,” pointing to the mixture of milk and bubbles moving through the hollow tube. This wonder of modern engineering totally amazed him, and he showed no fear or fatigue, just boundless joy.
“That’s one amazing straw,” Katie said.
Beaming, he answered her. “Jet bought it for me.”
Katie prided herself on her independence, especially when it came to supporting her children. Yet for some reason, Jet’s attentions didn’t bother or threaten her. Her kindness wasn’t calculated to gain Katie’s affections; it was genuine. Jet loved her kids, and for that, Katie loved her even more. Gazing at Jet, who wore the cut-off sweatpants and soft cotton T-shirt Katie recognized as her pajamas, she smiled.
“Did you thank Jet?”
“Yes, he did.” Jet ran her fingers through Andre’s curly hair as she looked lovingly down at him.
“Well, drink up because it’s way past your bedtime.”
“I put Chloe in the spare bedroom. She never even stirred.” Their eyes met and Jet said, “Nice outfit.”
Katie ran her hand up the back of her neck and removed the hat. With a flick of her fingers, the hairpins came out, too, and her thick mane of hair tumbled down. She shook her head and looked at Jet. “Better?” she asked.
“Oh, I’m not sure. It’s a pretty cool hat.” Jet bit her lip to suppress her laughter, and suddenly Katie’s spirits felt a little lighter.
Reaching up, she placed the floral hat on Jet’s head and then brought her fingers to her chin as she appraised the look. “I’m not sure it goes with the outfit.”
“I’m more of a Phillies cap kind of girl.”
Katie nodded in agreement and removed the floral hat from Jet’s head. She’d seen Jet in a baseball cap, and it was quite a sexy image. As much as she would have liked to linger on thoughts of Jet wearing nothing but a Phils cap, she knew they needed to get Andre to bed.
“Thanks for taking care of Chloe. She was exhausted,” Katie said, rubbing her eyes and thinking of her daughter, guarding her brother as they lay waiting in the hospital bed. Andre had slept, but not Chloe. Now, though, with Katie to watch over Andre, Chloe could finally rest. It wouldn’t surprise Katie if her children slept through the day.
Katie took the milk glass from Andre and, after rinsing both glass and straw, followed Jet and Andre toward the bedrooms. “Wait,” Andre suddenly exclaimed. “I have to brush my teeth.”
“It’s okay. Sometimes in an emergency we’re allowed to skip,” Katie explained.
“I can’t skip. If I don’t brush twice a day all my teeth will fall out and I’ll look like a zombie.” He made a funny face, pulling his lips over his teeth and sucking in his cheeks.
Jet laughed. “I think I can save you, Buddy. I happen to have a spare toothbrush.”
Katie winked at Jet, slumping a bit as fatigue began to set in. “Thank you.” At this hour, after this night, she didn’t have the strength to argue.
“Are we having an emergency?” he queried.
“What?” Katie watched Jet open a new pack of toothbrushes.
“You said we could skip if it was an emergency. Is that why the police were at our house? Are we having an emergency?”
Jet raised her head to look at Katie, the fear and confusion on her face evident, but Katie didn’t explain. She just wrapped her arms around Andre and hugged him tight. “No emergencies. That’s why you have to brush your teeth.”
When they all finished brushing, Andre climbed on her back for the trip to the bedroom. “G’night, Jet,” he said as he blew her a kiss.
After catching it, she blew one back to him. “Night.”
“I’m going to lie with him,” Katie told Jet.
Jet nodded, and they disappeared into her spare bedroom. Not sure what to do, she debated going back to bed. Although she assumed the kids would sleep in this day, she had to be up for work in five hours. As tempting as it would be to take a personal day, it would be difficult at the clinic if both she and Katie were out at the same time. Jet had taken over as nurse manager six months earlier, and Katie was second in command. A dozen daily crises demanded their attention, and Jet was fairly certain the place would cease functioning without them. And at this point, Jet was fairly certain Katie wasn’t going to work in the morning.
Undecided, she glanced toward her bedroom. If Katie didn’t fall asleep with Andre, and for some reason wanted to t
alk to her, she’d know where to find her. Jet could crawl back into her own bed and be comfortable. Then she looked at the couch and knew that’s where she’d go. She wouldn’t be able to sleep with all the questions and uncertainty racing through her mind, so she might as well wait for Katie. Even if Katie didn’t come, Jet would still wait. She’d been doing it for months.
Less than ten minutes later, after Jet had produced a clean sheet and pillow for the couch, Katie reappeared. Springing to her feet, Jet met her across the living room and pulled her into her arms. She didn’t know what was happening, but whatever it was couldn’t be good. “Are you okay?” Jet whispered after a moment, never letting go. Katie was petite, just a fraction of an inch above five feet tall, and Jet was just that much shy of six feet. It seemed she could swallow Katie with her arms, and that was what she wanted to do, to protect her and take away all the sadness evident on Katie’s face.
Tears began flowing silently down Katie’s cheeks, the bright emerald eyes suddenly cloudy. Then the dam burst, and she was sobbing uncontrollably as Jet led her to the couch and sat beside her, managing to keep her arms around her the whole time. They fell back into the warm embrace of the couch, and Jet held her tighter, stroking her back gently and kissing the forehead that rested against her chin. When Katie’s breathing slowed and the shaking subsided, Jet spoke again, keeping her voice soft and calm. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
Clearing her throat, Katie sniffled, then wiped her nose on a tissue Jet provided. “Billy’s dead.”
Jet had prepared for bad news, but this was beyond her imagination. “Oh, no! Katie, I’m so sorry.” Jet pulled her closer and held Katie’s head, running her fingers through the luxurious thickness of her hair. Jet knew Katie was no longer in love with him, but Billy was the father of her children, so his loss was an awful blow for both Katie and the kids. The tears began again, and still Jet held her, comforting her, stroking her face and planting kisses of comfort. Again she waited for Katie’s cue to probe further. Finally, when Katie’s breathing once more sounded normal, Jet spoke again. “What happened? How did he die?”
Now Katie pulled back enough to look at Jet. She was so…gorgeous. Even with her black hair in a state of disarray, she was beautiful. Brown eyes flecked with gold watched her intently. Her broad cheekbones and angular jaw line, and her long straight nose suggested a strength Katie needed at the moment. And those full, red lips. They were so inviting that Katie shuddered.
She wanted so badly to kiss those lips. She’d spent hours—days, even—thinking about them. Could the fragile roots of the love growing between them sustain the awful pull of Katie’s past? Their lives and their worlds were so different. Her life had been such a disaster, much of that of her own making. How could someone as amazing as Jet ever truly care for her?
She didn’t know that she could. But if they were to have a chance, it had to be based on truth. She’d never lied to Jet and had shared more of her story with her than she’d ever told anyone. But she hadn’t told it all.
“He was shot.” Then before Jet could say anything and before Katie could lose her nerve, she said, “Jet, there’s so much about me and my life you don’t know. I came here tonight because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I’m alone. You’re my friend, but I’ll understand if you tell me to get out, because this is a lot to handle.”
Shaking her head defiantly, Jet responded. “No, Katie. It’s not that simple. I can’t just walk away. I love you! I love the woman you are today. I don’t know that person you were yesterday. Your past doesn’t matter. I have a past, too. We all do. As long as you love me now, that’s all that I care about. And whatever you’re dealing with, I want to help you. We’ll get through it together.”
Katie cupped Jet’s face. She’d never felt this before, this joy brought just by looking at someone. “I do love you,” she confessed.
A smile spread across Jet’s face. She wiped her tears with her sleeve, looked into Katie’s eyes and brushed her fingers across her forehead. “I’m so relieved.”
Katie couldn’t help giggling at the theatrics. “Why?”
“Well…it’s been slow going. I was afraid I’d lost my touch.”
“Am I just another notch in a well-worn belt?” Katie kept her tone light, because she didn’t have doubts about Jet or her intentions.
“No, I’m teasing you. I thought maybe you were just looking for a good friend. And I could have handled that…I think. But it certainly isn’t what I want.”
Katie nodded. “I didn’t expect this, Jet. I’ve never…felt this way before. About anyone, man or woman. At first, I did think you were just my best friend, my favorite person in the whole world. But then I started thinking about…other things, like kissing you, and I realized that maybe my feelings meant something more. I was afraid that might be a problem, except I sensed you feeling them, too, which makes them completely, totally great. Does that make sense?”
Jet laughed, and in spite of everything, Katie felt blissfully happy.
“Perfect sense.” Jet reached out and gently clasped Katie’s chin in her fingertips. Love glowed in her eyes for a moment before they closed, and their lips met in the softest of kisses, and every part of Katie caught fire. They held each other for a few seconds—or hours—it was hard to tell, feeling each other tremble. Time and senses were suspended, every nerve fiber in Katie fired by the mere touch of their lips. When they pulled apart, she was shaking.
“I’ve never been with a woman, Jet.”
“It’s okay. It’s really not that difficult.” Jet’s dark eyes held hers, and Katie felt all of her love. It was so pure, really, and sweet. Jet was sweet.
Katie laughed, pulling away and breaking the contact so she could look into the dark pools of Jet’s eyes. What she saw there—love, tenderness, kindness—gave her the courage she needed to keep speaking.
“Is that why you’ve been taking this so slowly?” Jet asked.
In Jet’s question Katie recognized the opening she needed. “Actually, no.” Before she could have the kind of relationship with Jet they both wanted, Katie needed to bare her soul. “I’m sure I’ll figure out the technical details,” she said with a smile. “And my heart has been skipping beats at the thought of you since the night we met. But before anything happens, I have to tell you everything. I don’t want you to ever be surprised by my past. If you know everything about me and still want me, then I’m all yours.”
Katie looked to Jet for some sign—fear, hesitation, anger—but all she saw was the love in Jet’s eyes.
Jet pulled Katie into her arms, kissing the top of her head once again. “So tell me.”
Chapter Eleven
Haunted Pasts
Seeing no point in rehashing details they’d already discussed, Katie didn’t talk of things like her mother’s death or her father’s neglect, the way her father’s second wife had abused her. She’d shared many of those stories with Jet already, encouraged by Jet’s kindness and the simple squeeze of her hand. Jet cared, and though the feelings were foreign, Katie felt safe enough to open up her heart.
Taking a big breath for courage, Katie slowly exhaled, staring at the wall, at nothing really, trying to sort her thoughts. She had so much to tell and wasn’t sure where to begin the sordid tale. “Okay, let’s start with the drugs. Heroin—check. Crack—check. LSD—check. Pot—check. Vics, Percs, fentanyl, methadone—check, check, check, check. Xanax, Valium, Ativan—check, check, check. Get the picture?”
With her face twisted into a frowning grimace, she looked to Jet for her reaction. Jet hesitated a moment, giving Katie time to go on if she wished. When she didn’t, Jet replied. “What are you using now?”
Katie shrugged. “Ibuprofen and Maxalt for migraines. A multivitamin. Tums. That’s it.”
“When was the last time you did any of those other drugs?”
“When I found out I was pregnant with Chloe.” She remembered that day in the clinic so well, Dr. Bennett’s words sinking
into her brain as no others had before. You have to stop using. The drugs are going to hurt the baby.
“So nine years, give or take?” Jet asked, and Katie nodded. “Sounds like you’ve got it kicked.”
Katie shrugged again.
“Do you have cravings?” Jet’s voice contained no accusation, only curiosity.
“Yeah, mostly for pot. It calms me.” She frowned.
Jet laughed, then asked, “But you don’t do it, right?”
She shook her head. “No. I have too much to lose.” When she thought about it, she realized she really didn’t really crave marijuana, just the peace it offered. She would have liked to take something stronger when a bad migraine hit, but the fear of slipping back into a pattern of habitual use frightened her. Never again would she live that kind of life. No headache pain was as awful as her life had been back then. “Too much to lose,” she repeated.
Jet squeezed her hand but didn’t say anything further, so once again Katie had the freedom to direct the conversation.
“Okay, so we’ve covered drugs,” Katie said. “Let’s talk about men. You’ve never slept with any, and let’s just say I’ve got you beat.” Katie didn’t even want to think about the things she’d done, let alone find the words to describe them to Jet. She would if she needed to, but she hoped Jet’s general animosity toward male anatomy would squash any desire for details. “Any questions?”
Jet nodded. “Are you healthy? No diseases?”
“Yes, healthy. I’ve been checked for everything and it’s all good.”
“You’re lucky.”
“Yes, I know.” Her mood was suddenly somber as she remembered people she knew contracting incurable viruses like HIV and hepatitis.
“Okay, what else?”
Katie rubbed her temples as she thought about the laundry list of misdeeds she’d wanted to share. “Abortions. Two of them.”
“How’d that go?”
