by M Dauphin
“Bye Felicia.” I push past him and head to my room to finish getting ready. He follows me, as usual, and leans against the doorframe judging me as I finish putting together my outfit. I’ve never been a skimpy dressing person, but tonight I feel like being a little more carefree about things. It seems like my entire life I’ve spent being worried about something. It started with my dad’s sickness, then my mom’s substance abuse, then bills and school and now it’s everything. I just want to be free for a night.
“You’re wearing that?” Leigh’s eyebrows rise in surprise as he looks over my outfit.
A black and white skirt with a black tank. Bright blue high heels and my hair curled.
“What’s wrong with it?” I spin and look in the mirror. “I think I look good.”
“You do. Way too fucking good. What’s Knox going to think about this?”
“Knox doesn’t get a say in what I wear when I go out,” I scoff. “Plus, he’s out of town tonight.” A grin slips out and Leigh chuckles.
“You’re going to ruin this before you even give it a chance to start, Harper.”
“Am not. He’s leaving soon, Leigh. And I’m still young. Now let’s go.” I grab my purse and take his hand as I pull him out of my apartment.
“So where’s John tonight?” As I slip into the car Leigh gives me a tired glance.
“Working. Always fucking working lately.” He rolls his eyes and starts the engine.
“Yeah, Knox has been too. Hopefully it gets better for you soon, babe. Once the club is open I’m sure his schedule will even out.”
He doesn’t answer, but with a chuckle he turns out to the main drag.
Tonight we’re heading downtown to Washington Avenue. Tonight I plan on getting out of my comfort zone. Tonight I want to forget about Knox and everything he’s done to my world since he showed up.
I don’t want to think about him moving out.
I don’t want to think about my feelings for him. Feelings that are stronger than even I will admit to myself. Fucking feelings.
I don’t want to think about him. Period.
“Doll, your phone is going insane over there,” Leigh’s voice cuts through my thoughts and I realize I’ve been thinking about Knox nonstop since getting in this car.
“Shit,” I huff, pulling it out of my purse.
KNOX: Where are you?
KNOX: What are you doing tonight?
KNOX: I miss you.
KNOX: Hello?
“Jesus, obsessive much?” Leigh’s reading over my shoulder as we sit at a red light, seeing the multiple texts from him that I missed in the last fifteen minutes.
“Yeah really,” I huff. “He’s never been like this before.”
“He likes you, Harper. A lot.”
“Yeah.”
I type out a quick reply and turn my phone on silent. My goal for tonight isn’t to sit on the phone texting my live-in sex mate…or whatever he is. My goal is to forget him and I can’t do that with my phone on.
ME: Going out with Leigh and some of the girls. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow
“A ball sack kiss? Really?” He laughs from the drivers seat and I punch him in the arm.
“Shut it, let’s get drunk.” He laughs it off and maneuvers his way around Saturday night St. Louis traffic. This is why I don’t drive around here; people in this city are horrible, rude drivers. Not my cup of tea. I have my license, but I prefer not to add that stress into my life when I can walk everywhere I need to go.
As Leigh slides into the parking spot behind the bar I have a momentary lapse of judgment and pull out my phone to check Facebook.
Stupid idea, Harper.
KNOX: Where?
KNOX: Be safe
KNOX: Check in later please, I worry about you.
Jesus, protective much?
ME: Yes, daddy. I’ll be a good girl.
“Let’s go, woman. I need to get my drink on.”
“Harper, why’s Knox here?” Leigh’s voice comes from behind me as I’m staring at a beautiful piece of man meat across the room.
We’ve been here a few hours and much to my surprise I’ve only checked my phone and texted Knox a handful of times. That’s good for me when drunk!
“No clue,” I mumble, grabbing my beer off the table.
His eyes hit mine and no matter the amount of alcohol I put in my body tonight, I know I won’t be able to forget him. Ever.
No…right now I want to think about Knox and everything he could do to me. Fuck, just looking at him move over to me like he’s fucking floating pisses me off because I’m already wet and he hasn’t even talked yet! I’m supposed to be here to forget him! What the hell is he doing here?!
“Harper.” My name rolls off his tongue and I melt a little more inside. How can one guy, one guy that I’ve known only for a few months, do this to me? He’s sex wrapped up into a nice, tight, very decent sized package, and he’s looking at me like I’m the only girl in the room.
“Knox.” I smile and take a sip of my beer, realizing I finished it off already and have been milking it dry for the last few minutes. Shit.
“Hey.” He smiles at me, his brilliantly bright teeth contrast nicely to his sun kissed skin. How can he look that tan? I’ve never seen him spending time in the sun. And how can he smell so damn good after a long days work? Why can life be so unfair to some, yet so loving and gentle to others?!
“Hi.” I think I’m sober enough to stand, but when the room starts to spin I know I’m more drunk than I thought.
I’ve only been here a few hours and only been downing beer. I didn’t think I could get this drunk so fast, it’s never happened before like this.
“Let me drive you,” he whispers, placing his hand on my back and growls when I stumble towards him, pressing my body against him. “You need to get home. I think you’re done, Harp.”
“I’m fine,” I mumble. “Let’s dance!” My body starts moving to the music, grinding against him until his hands clash onto my hips. With eyes of steel, he doesn’t look amused.
Well fuck you too, Knox. I came out to forget you and now that you’re here I can’t help but want to fuck you in front of everyone in this club.
“Let me drive you home, Harper.” It’s not a question that comes out of his mouth this time, but more of a demand. He’s not asking me if I want a ride home, he’s telling me he’s going to take me home and I don’t have any objections anymore. I should. I should care that I’m having all kinds of physical and mental reactions to my roommate, more than I’d like to admit, but I don’t. I don’t, because I know how good he can make me feel, and I’m a selfish bitch when it comes down to it.
I nod silently and reach to grab my purse but miss, almost falling into the table. Fuck me, why do I feel so drunk and out of it? I shouldn’t. I finished my last drink almost a half hour ago and I haven’t had too much.
“Hey, you ok?” He’s holding on to me as I blink rapidly to get the room to stop spinning.
“I’m fine,” I mumble, trying to right myself as best as I can. It takes everything in me to bring myself to walk out of the club without assistance. Leigh nods a goodbye at me as he mingles with some of our closest friends. They all watch me leave with Knox but none of them stop me. Good thing, because I need to get in a car before I fall flat on my face.
On the walk out to the car he takes my hand in his and gently slides his fingers between mine. His hand is so big it feels like it’s swallowing mine. It’s so warm, but even in this summer heat it doesn’t bother me. This isn’t one of those uncomfortable heats…it’s a heat that makes me want to throw caution to the wind and fuck him on the roof of his Mercedes right here.
Obviously I can’t do that, though, so I do the only other thing I can…I get in his car and wait for us to get to the privacy of our apartment.
We don’t talk on the way home. We sit in silence, letting the purr of the engine fill in the voids. His hand never leaves mine and he maneuvers one handed with ease th
rough the traffic lights of downtown St. Louis. I’m glad he hasn’t had anything to drink because cops here don’t joke and I’d hate to see this nice of a car taken to a lot somewhere.
It wouldn’t last a night there.
“Here we are,” he whispers, pulling into his spot behind the apartments.
“Yes, here we are.” I sigh and look over at him, letting an uncharacteristic giggle escape my lips. “Sorry. I um…let’s go in.”
Getting out of the car, I’m scared that the alcohol buzz seems worse and I’m having a hard time focusing on anything. I’ve never been a lightweight, but for some reason tonight’s a little different. Maybe I should have eaten more for dinner. The minute we get into the apartment everything changes for the worse. I go from thinking I’m going to be fine after a little sleep to nauseous and dizzy in a matter of seconds.
That’s when I black out.
The last words I hear before the darkness is a string of curse words from Knox.
“Harper?” His soothing voice flows through the darkness and I moan, wishing his lips were doing something other than talking right now. Can’t he wake me up any other way? “Come on Harp, wake up.” I feel his warm hand touch my cheek and I turn into it, groaning when I realize how much my head hurts.
Opening my eyes, my ears start to ring immediately and a very heavy feeling in my chest stops the instant I try to sit up. Shit.
“Hey you,” Knox’s voice is close, and I notice he’s practically on top of me at this very moment. I should be worried, but I’m not. I’m not, because all I can think of right now is not puking on him.
Holy shit.
“Knox,” I whisper, my eyes catching his and I immediately see the one emotion I hate. Worry. Worry…and something else I think I’m reading too much into, because that look on his face is showing more emotion than I want to accept.
His eyes flick to my lips and we’re so close, if I had it in me I’d reach up and pull him to me, but there’s that whole ‘feeling like I’m going to barf’ thing happening, and that’d be horrible if I puked in his mouth. Gah!
“I have to pee,” I mumble, trying to sit up again, slowly. He lets me and helps me to the bathroom where I lock the door behind me and immediately grab my toothbrush and start scrubbing my teeth. The minute his skin hit mine today all I could think about was fucking him. I need a hot shower and clean teeth before any of that happens.
Fifteen minutes later I’m clean and feel surprisingly better. It’s amazing what a shower can do for a hangover. When I leave the shower, I run into him in the hallway. He must have had the same idea, because his hair is still dripping and all he’s wearing is a very low-slung towel.
Woah.
“What are you doing?” I manage, unable to peel my eyes from his torso. His bathroom is in his room. Why in the world would he be out here in just a towel?
“Needed a drink,” he smirks, eyeing the top of my towel. “I’m just so parched,” he murmurs, his voice low.
A stare-off ensues. He knows I caught him in his lie and I’m not about to let him by me. Not when he was wandering around the apartment like this just to make me want him more. Tease. Him and those beautiful biceps. And that V. And those abs.
Before I can fully register what’s happening, my instincts kick in and I’m smashing my lips to his, frantically wrapping my body around his and tugging the towel off. I can’t get him inside me fast enough, and from the looks of it he’s feeling the same exact way.
“Woah, woah. Slow down there, peach.” He chuckles and takes my face in his hands. “You sure about this? You hit it pretty hard last night…how’re you feeling?”
“I’m fucking positive,” I growl, dropping to my knees in the hallway. When I take him in my mouth as far back as he can go he groans and rests his hand on my head. He starts pumping into my mouth as my hands play softly with his balls.
“Up,” he growls. “Not in the hallway.” He lifts me, allowing the towel to fall from my chest and my legs wrap around him. As he carries me to the bedroom, he’s showing every part of my body the attention it deserves. When he lays me down I wriggle my hips up at him silently begging for it. He smiles and chuckles, then presses his lips to mine as his fingers find their way inside me.
“Shit,” I gasp when he finds my g-spot almost immediately.
“Feel good?” he murmurs on my neck.
“Fuck yes,” I moan. His mouth moves down my body to my tits and he nips just hard enough to send a wave of painful pleasure straight to my clit. “Fuck!” I buck up towards him to get more friction and a deep chuckle escapes him.
“You’re turn,” he says, breaking the kiss and backing away, leaving me feel cold from the sudden space between us.
I bite my lip and grin at him. He likes a good show and who am I to stop him from seeing it. Spreading my juices up and down my pussy, I grin at him, then close my eyes and moan when I slip a finger, then two, inside me. He groans and curses as he starts to rub himself. I pause, enjoying the feeling of watching him pleasure himself while watching me.
“Don’t stop, Harp. Keep going. I want to see you finish yourself.” His eyes, filled with desire, lock onto mine as I start rubbing circles around my clit. I’m trying my hardest to keep my eyes locked on his, but as my desire grows so does my urge to throw my head back. Moaning, I finally give in and squeeze my eyes shut as the first wave of orgasm starts to rip through me.
“Oh god,” I groan, rubbing my clit harder and faster.
“That’s perfect, babe,” His voice is deep and I open my eyes to see his arm jerking becoming more sporadic. “So fucking sexy, Harper.”
“Mmm,” I groan. “Fuck!” I throw my head back as my orgasm peaks and my entire body quivers.
“Yes,” he hisses. I hear him walk over to the side of the bed and open my eyes to see him standing there looking down at me. “Now finish me.” The power in his voice and my resonating orgasm rippling through me makes me feel so weak to him right now.
Right now I’d do anything he wants. And he barely touched me.
“Mmm, gladly.”
And I do. Every sound that comes out of him just turns me on even more. The power I feel over what I just did to this man, turning him on that much without even touching him, that’s a power I never knew I could feel.
That day a week ago was the last time we’ve had any type of sexual contact. I’ve been attempting to distance myself from Harper to prepare for what’s to come this weekend, but so far it hasn’t been working as planned. Last night I drove into Springfield again to try to give myself more time away from her. I figure the more time I spend away from her the less attached I’ll be when the time comes to hand her off.
I spend the morning cleaning up the basement, preparing myself for this. As I look around the empty room, a shiver runs down my spine. The floor is so cold it feels damp. The walls are no better. There are zero decorations…no bed. A simple mattress on the floor awaits her and a small toilet area in the corner. There’s no mirrors, pictures, TV’s…nothing.
I can’t really do this, can I? I can’t take a human life and make it live in these conditions can I? Especially Harper…I don’t know if I can do this anymore.
I have to. I just don’t know how I’m going to come out of it in one piece.
It’s after three when I finally make it into the office. There’s paperwork here that I don’t have to get done, but it makes me feel better just doing it myself. Kayla has been sketchy lately and with the St. Louis club looking like it’s never going to take off, the last thing I need is for this one to fail too. Not when I’m so close to my goal.
“Knox, you can’t drag this on for much longer.” Kayla’s sitting on my desk, her legs swinging back and forth while she watches me pace my office.
The club opens for the evening in an hour and I need to get out of here before the patrons see me and want to schmooze it up with the big guy, but I needed a break from Harper and coming here was the only way to get it.
Truth
is, I’m getting way too addicted to her. Being so close to her makes it hard to keep focused on the end game, and at this point I’m not even sure I know what the end game is anymore.
“I know,” I huff. “What if…what if she’s not really the one? Have you ever thought about that? What if I just got caught up in the game and picked the wrong girl?”
Maybe I can talk Kayla out of this game she wants to play then I can talk her in to something else…something less dangerous for Harper and I’s relationship…whatever it may be.
“Excuse me?” She stands from the desk and walks over to me. “What’d you just say?”
Her hands go to her hips and she’s glaring at me. I have to remember I’m in charge here.
Not her.
It’s not like it used to be between us. It hasn’t been for a long ass time.
“Kayla, have you ever thought about the legal aspect of this? Taking someone, especially someone like Harper that has multiple friends across a very populated city, that could put us in jail.”
“Jail!” She barks out a laugh. “Knox, you thought nothing of the legal side of this when I presented you with this offer. Find us a plaything and my interest in the club is handed over to you. You could be one hundred percent owner…all it will take is finishing your task.”
I glare at her, never realizing how fucked up this entire situation is until right now.
She’s brainwashed me all these years and it’s taken me falling for a girl that’s nothing like Kayla in order to realize how wrong we’ve been.
In everything.
“I know,” I sigh. I can’t back out now. But maybe I can make it less of a dramatic exit for Harper. Maybe I can tell her what I need from her and it’ll all go smoothly.
And maybe tomorrow pigs will learn to fly.
“You just get her here. I’ll take care of the rest,” she purrs, running her finger up and down my arm, attempting to be seductive. All it’s doing is churning my stomach. Yet another warning sign that things have gotten way out of hand.
