by Maria Geraci
“I’m a little confused here. Exactly where do we stand?”
“I don’t know. There’s the matter of your boyfriend for one.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. Nick and I broke up last weekend.”
The color drains from Ben’s face. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I know I’m giving him a bit of a hard time, but honestly? Ben needs to own his actions.
“Really? Okay, well, that’s confusing. Did I imagine it or did you not kiss me at Jackie’s party?”
“I think we both got a little carried away that night. We’d both been drinking and—”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Are you getting back with Elise?”
“Elise is going back to New York. It just isn’t going to work out between us,” he says with a sad face.
“That’s too bad.” Although I cannot help but feel that Elise has been given a reprieve. I was right, Ben doesn’t deserve her. I think about how accomplished Elise is and then I think about Amy, and her Harvard Law degree, and something occurs to me. Is Ben intimidated by successful women?
“So I can count on you, right? You’re taking the job?”
“Would I have to move to Orlando?”
“It would be tough to do the job from Tampa. You could commute, but I think that would get kind of old.”
“In that case I’m going to have to think about it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.”
Ben sighs. “Okay, but I need an answer by Monday.”
I leave Ben’s office feeling a mixture of dazed and disgusted. Dazed because I really wasn’t expecting to be offered the editor job so soon. Obviously Jackie knew, though. It’s what she was hinting at when she said I might not be working from home. I’m flattered and excited by the possibilities the job offers, but I also know that I don’t want to move to Orlando, which seems silly, but there it is.
And I’m disgusted. Mainly at myself. How could I have ever thought that Ben got me? Richard was right. I hate to say it, but Ben did get off knowing I was crushing on him. Just like he gets off having Elise dangling on an emotional string. It boosts his ego (or whatever) and that speaks very poorly of him.
I think I also understand Jackie’s remark about Abby now. Abby shows all the same signs that I must have once exhibited. The lingering looks, the admiring sighs. I wonder if Ben has been subtly encouraging her too? Poor girl. I almost wish I could warn her but I don’t think she’ll listen. I know I wouldn’t have.
Richard is right about something else too.
Ben is definitely a schmuck.
chapter thirty-one
That night, Trip, Kimberly, and I go to dinner, where Kimberly regales us with the story of how she marched into Murray’s office and turned in her resignation. According to Kimberly, everyone at the Yeager Agency is shocked, and Kimberly is thrilled by their reaction. I had no idea she hated her job this much, but I get it. I really hope this thing with Trip works out for her.
Kimberly and I are in the restaurant bathroom and I take advantage of our moment alone to ask, “So what do you think? You and Trip?”
“Me and Trip what?” She pauses in the middle of touching up her lipstick. “You mean, me and Trip as in a couple? No way. It’s strictly business and friendship between us.”
“Oh, okay. I thought…well, never mind.”
Kimberly is obviously just as smart as I always knew she was. Mixing business with pleasure is never a good idea, something I should have already known.
We finish dinner and the next morning Trip drives home to Catfish Cove. I spend the next two days editing down the article but it still reads like something out of a cheap tabloid. The week goes by quickly, and before I know it, it’s Richard’s last day at work. Lisa decorates the office with balloons and signs wishing Richard GOOD LUCK. Jackie, Lisa, and I take off after lunch for a girls’ only afternoon. We get manicures and pedicures at the mall and Jackie talks me into buying a new dress for tonight’s going-away party. The dress is red, a color I rarely wear. Jackie phoned Kimberly, who dashed over with the same four-inch red stilettos she wore to the celebrity cocktail party at the Don Cesar, and the three of them convince me to wear them tonight.
“You look great,” Jackie says as we approach Captain Pete’s. A second before I open the door, she reaches over with both hands and pulls down the bodice to my dress, which effectively pushes my boobs up.
“Hey!” I joke. “Hands off.”
“Think of it as a going-away present for Richard,” Jackie says.
“I don’t see the two of you exposing your cleavage.”
“It’s not our cleavage he wants to see,” Lisa says. She exchanges a look with Jackie and I freeze.
“Oh, come on,” I say.
“For someone as smart as you, Emma, you sure are dumb,” says Jackie.
Lisa shoves me inside the door and once again I’m hit with the myriad of emotions that a crowded bar always evokes in me. Only this time add confusion to the list. Jackie and Lisa are insinuating—no, they are blatantly telling me that Richard is interested in me. I have to admit, I’ve been wondering about that myself. But that can’t be possible. Wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago that he said I was like a little sister to him?
We zigzag our way through the crowd. Ben arrived early to hold the big table in the back so that we would have plenty of room for our party. Richard is deep in conversation with Lisa’s fiancé, Tony. Jackie’s husband, Chris, is here too, along with a few of the sales guys from Orlando who have driven over for the party. I notice Richard has not brought a date. I choose a seat as far away from him as possible, which puts me between two of the sales guys, which is a big mistake, because they both immediately start talking about the Trip Monroe article.
I try my best to fend off their questions, alternating between pretending to check my cell phone and stealing glances at Richard.
Richard looks really good tonight. He has obviously just shaven, because by this time of the day he is usually sporting a pretty significant five o’clock shadow, and that isn’t the case this evening. He’s wearing jeans and a blue oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled back to his forearms. Even from across the table I can see that the blue in his shirt brings out the blue in his eyes. Richard has the kind of eyes that can appear either blue or green, depending on the light. Not that I’ve ever stared at them or anything. I’m just stating a fact here. Other than an initial greeting in which he playfully ogled my chest the same way he would anyone else who practically had their boobs hanging out, he has not singled me out in any way. I definitely think Jackie and Lisa are playing a joke on me.
I glance up and see that Kimberly and Torie have arrived at Captain Pete’s. They come over to wish Richard good luck in his new endeavor. I can tell the sales guys want Torie and Kimberly to join us but they decline, saying that they don’t want to “crash” our good-bye party, and since the majority of the conversation is dedicated to talking about work, I don’t blame them.
Torie takes me off to the side. “Have you seen Jason lately?”
“Not tonight,” I answer truthfully. I think about telling Torie about Jason and Amy but decide against it. This is news she needs to hear from Jason himself.
“Where’s Kurt?”
“Who? Oh, Kurt,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “Yeah, he and I are through. Turns out he was a jerk.”
I give her a hug. “Sorry.”
Torie’s eyes are bright with unshed tears. “Live and learn, right?”
“Right,” I say, mustering up as much supportive enthusiasm as possible. A part of me wants to tell Torie “I told you so,” but as her best friend, I’m sure this is not what she needs to hear from me right now.
Torie and Kimberly take off to mingle at the bar and our party resumes.
We’re on our umpteenth pitcher of beer and our third tray of hot wings when I spot Amy and Jason walk through the front door. I immediately tense.
Richard looks at me with a question mar
k in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” asks Lisa.
“Nothing!” I raise my beer mug in the air in an act of faked cheerfulness.
It’s now time for everyone to make toasts.
Ben goes first. “I remember the first time I met this guy.” He nods at Richard. “It was my first day at work and I walk into my office and there’s this dude sitting in my chair with his legs propped on my desk, his cell phone in hand.”
We all start to laugh because I remember this day clearly. There was a one-week interim between the time that Stuart left and Ben arrived. It had seemed a shame to let a perfectly awesome office go to waste, so Richard, Jackie, and I drew straws to see who would use the boss’s office. Richard won, although I clearly remember accusing him of cheating and he never denied it.
Ben continues his story. “So in between texting he glances up at me and asks if I remembered the egg rolls. Now I ask you, do I look like the delivery boy from First Coast China?”
We all laugh again and everyone takes a drink in honor of the memory.
One of the sales guys goes next, and then Jackie regales us with a story about the first time Richard and she did a story together. They were driving to interview a guy who lived out in the middle of nowhere (literally). On the drive over they got lost but neither of them wanted to stop for directions. It is funny but, at the same time, poignantly sad because it is just occurring to everyone that stuff like this will never happen again. Jackie actually has a tear in her eye as she wishes Richard good luck.
It’s now Lisa’s turn. “To Richard,” she says, raising her glass, “and his awesome Steve Danger novels. May you hit the New York Times bestseller list!”
The table claps in approval. Richard grins sheepishly. Our gazes meet for a long second and I feel my cheeks burn. What sort of friend am I that I haven’t yet read Richard’s manuscript? Yes, I’ve been incredibly busy, but who hasn’t? I should have found time to work it in somehow. It’s the least I owe him after all the help he’s given me with the Trip Monroe article.
“Emma!” Jackie shouts. “You’re up next.”
“Toast toast toast!” everyone chants.
In anticipation of tonight’s party, I have prepared this great ditty recalling the time Richard did a story about a new ride at Universal Studios. We went together to preview the ride, and when Richard saw that it was basically a giant roller coaster, he insisted on holding my hand. He squeezed it so hard I thought it was going to fall off. The idea of big bad Richard being afraid of a little roller coaster is hilariously funny. I know the sales guys are going to get a big kick out of it. But when I go to speak, nothing comes out.
Maybe I should simply say that I’ll miss him, but after all our years of bickering it almost seems disingenuous. It occurs to me that this may very well be the last time we are all together and the truth is I’ll miss everything about our Tampa office. I’ll miss the drive every morning with the bustling traffic on Howard. I’ll miss my tiny cubicle with the chair that wobbles, the daily interaction with Ben, who, despite everything, is still a great editor. I’ll miss Lisa’s giggle and Jackie’s intenseness. And yes, I’ll even miss Richard’s raunchy jokes, the blare of his hard-rock music, and the way he always challenges everything I say. Although it makes no sense, in some ways, I think, I’ll miss him most of all. But that must be because he has been here the longest. He is a part of everything I equate with Florida! and all that’s about to end and a new era will start, and despite the fact that’s it kind of exciting, it’s also sad.
I stand and raise my mug in the air. “To Richard. I…best of luck.”
Everyone waits for the rest of the toast. I take a sip of my beer and this signals everyone to follow suit, except Jackie, who says, “That’s it? That’s your toast?”
I shrug, too embarrassed to say more, so I excuse myself to head to the bathroom. I go into one of the stalls and swipe the tears from my eyes. I think everything has just hit me at once. My breakup with Nick. Mom’s secret marriage to Frank Monroe (which I’ve yet to get to the bottom of), the pressure of getting the article in, and now the pressure of trying to edit it so that everyone will be happy, the decision whether or not to take the job as editor and having to move to Orlando, and now the office breaking up. You know how much I like Mondays? Well, it’s like the Friday of my life has finally arrived. I tear off some toilet paper to dry my cheeks, when I hear the sound of familiar voices.
“I can’t believe you’d go behind my back like this!” It’s Torie.
“Jason is a big boy,” I hear Amy say. “He can make his own decisions.”
“You know, when you tried to steal Ben from Emma, I thought you were a bitch, but now, wow, this really cements it. It’s no wonder you have no friends, Amy.”
I hear Amy sniffling.
Sigh.
I open the stall door. Amy and Torie turn their gazes on me. Talk about déjà vu. Was it really just a couple of months ago I overheard another conversation between them in this exact same manner? Only this time I’m not pretending I didn’t hear it.
“Leave her alone, Torie.”
Torie stands there, hands on her hips, looking more intimidating than any playground bully. “Can you believe Amy has been seeing Jason behind my back?” she says to me.
Amy looks at me with her big blue eyes, but she doesn’t give me away. While I am no fan of hers, I still have to do what’s right here.
“Jason’s not your boyfriend, Torie, so how could anyone be seeing him behind your back?”
Torie looks like I’ve just slapped her in the face. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Jason is…well, no friend of mine would ever go after him, that’s all I’m saying.”
“What if he went after her?”
“Whose side are you on? Don’t you remember what she did to you? She practically stole Ben right out from under your nose!”
“And she ended up doing me a favor. Look,” I say more forcefully, “Jason and Amy have every right to see one another, whether or not you approve.”
Torie’s jaw drops. “You knew about this?”
Uh-oh.
“I…not exactly. Amy asked me what she thought about Jason, so I told her Jason is a terrific guy and that she should go for it.”
Torie looks at me like she’s never seen me before. It has just occurred to me that she has been doing the same thing to Jason that Ben did to Elise. Through her subtle flirtation she has kept Jason dangling on a string in the hope that they will one day get back together again. She’s been keeping him around for “just in case.” I want to add that I’m glad Jason has moved on to Amy, but I don’t think that will go over too well just now.
Amy looks between me and Torie and senses that it’s best to get out while she still can. She mumbles something and slips out the bathroom door.
“I thought you were my best friend,” Torie says in a voice that almost breaks my heart.
“I am your best friend and that’s why I’m going to tell you that you’re wrong here. I told you Jason still had feelings for you. I tried to warn you that you were going to lose him, but you told me it was over between you two. Torie,” I say, gentling my voice. I go to touch her arm but she steps out of reach. “You can’t keep Jason in the wings like some consolation prize. He deserves better than that. Believe me, I know how much it hurts to let someone you care about go. You were right about Nick. He was like some…trophy boyfriend for me because my ego was hurt when Amy called me the ugly friend. But I had to break up with Nick because it wasn’t fair to keep stringing him along when I knew he wasn’t the one for me. You have to do the same for Jason. You have to just let him go and move on.”
Tears run down Torie’s face. I’m torn between wanting to shake her and wanting to pull her into my arms and console her. I go for the latter, but once again she pulls away from me.
“I’m never going to forgive you for this, Emma. Never.”
I stare in numb si
lence as she walks out the door. After a minute a couple of girls walk into the bathroom and begin chatting. I text Kimberly and briefly tell her what happened. She texts me back. She and Torie are on their way to Torie’s apartment and she’ll keep me in the loop. I wish I could go with them and console Torie. Just like the night they followed me out of Captain Pete’s and we all got drunk on Absolut and stayed up talking till the wee hours of the morning. At times like this, a girl needs her friends. Only knowing Torie the way I do, I know she will not want to see me right now. I do my best to pull myself together.
I walk out the bathroom door and run smack into Richard. The hallway leading to the barroom is narrow, so I scoot back against the wall to let him pass.
Richard takes one look at my face and says, “Have you been crying? Emma, I had no idea that my leaving would be this hard on you.”
Despite my misery I manage to smile. “Your ego is unbelievable.”
“Is it the cop? Is that why you’re crying? I noticed you didn’t bring him tonight.”
“Nick and I broke up.”
“Oh yeah? You or him?”
“Me,” I admit.
Richard takes a few seconds to think this over. “Is there someone else?”
“Nope. There’s no one else.”
“Rule Number Three: You never break up with someone unless you have someone else waiting in the wings.”
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”
Richard drops his smile. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry. I really liked the guy.”
“Me too.”
“Maybe it’s not too late to get him back. Especially if you’re willing to debase yourself with some sexual tricks.”
“Sexual tricks?”
“Yeah, you know. Hanging from a chandelier. Dressing up like Darth Vader. The usual stuff.”
I laugh. “Thanks for the advice, but it’s not going to work out with Nick.” I decide this is a good time to fill Richard in on the events of Jackie’s housewarming party, my long conversation in the bathroom with Elise, and my “talk” with Ben on the dock, including our big kiss.
