by Max Lockwood
Not to mention, the thought of disappointing Cooper again didn’t sit well with her. As far as he knew, they hadn't encountered the boy again. But Cooper didn’t show his emotions, from what she’d seen. He tended to stick to himself and tried to work things out on his own, even though he was the one usually pushing her to accept his help when she had a problem.
None of the others knew what was going on, but they definitely knew something wasn’t right. They must have noticed her mood, because Clara didn’t think she imagined they were walking on eggshells around her. When she entered a room, they all suddenly went silent. Whatever she wanted was just suddenly there for her, like they were trying not to make her madder.
Clara could have told them not to bother. When she held so tight a rein on herself, there was no way she would let her emotions out unless she wanted to. And she knew better than to let her anger out on everybody else. She was supposed to guide them, and, even in her state, she knew better than to risk alienating them because she was in a foul mood.
She did appreciate what they did for her, though, and made sure to let them know before she went to bed that night.
That night, while in bed, most of her anger disappeared, to be replaced by worry. Worry for the boy, and for bringing him to the farm house. Jack had given her permission, but if Tessa continued to act the way she did, would it even be okay?
She couldn’t think of leaving the boy out there, but what if Clara brought him back, only to have Tessa do something to scare the boy again? Then he would really be lost to them, and that was even worse in Clara’s eyes.
But there’s no way I can just leave him, she thought fiercely to herself.
But what could she do to rein her sister in? Clara didn’t control Tessa—her sister decided when she would behave, and when she didn’t want to. While Clara was used to having arguments with her sister, usually they ended when she got Tessa to concede, or her sister got her so mad that she just walked away from the argument and spent some time ignoring her.
Now, though, she would have to think of something more effective. If it meant keeping Tessa away from the boy altogether, Clara would find a way. It meant she might have to be with the boy all the time, or Cooper would. Maybe some other people she trusted, but this had to be handled when they brought the boy in.
Then, there was the other dilemma. Would the boy even want to come with them, after what Tessa had done? Even if they found him, if they couldn’t talk him into coming with them, the effort would be useless. She didn’t want to corner him and force him into listening to them, but she didn’t want him running at the sight of them, either. Tessa was obviously not going out with her again, but he had seen Clara with Tessa and Clara hadn't spoken to him at all. It was possible he might not recognize it was even her...
Because of all the worrying, Clara barely got any sleep again, but she was up earlier than usual, and she skipped her morning shower to leave the bedroom and go prepare something for breakfast. She was earlier than even Jack, because she couldn’t hear anyone else moving around. But then, when she sat down to eat, all she could think about was that boy and how he’d looked before running away.
She couldn’t let food go to waste, though. And she would need the energy for the rest of the day. She forced the food down, feeling restless and somewhat guilty the entire time. If the boy didn’t show up… with how thin he had looked, she wondered just how long he would survive without a meal.
Which brought her back to her current distress, whether or not to go deeper into the woods and look for the boy, because she couldn’t just wait at the edge of the fields for him to show up this time, not for long, anyway.
Like he could read her thoughts, or maybe her anxious expression, Jack asked about him.
“Have you seen any sign of the boy recently?”
Clara grimaced. She’d have him in the house if she’d seen him again, somehow. “I haven’t seen him since Tessa scared him off.”
“Then go look for him,” Jack advised.
Clara stopped walking, turning to him in confusion. “Wait, really?”
She had thought he would tell her to wait. He knew how skittish the boy was, as she did, and he’d been the one to tell her before that chasing after the boy would only make him run. Now he was giving her permission to go after him?
“It’s probably for the best right now. If your sister really scared him, he might be holed up somewhere by now in fright. I don’t think he’s come back for food recently, at least, not here.” Then he turned a knowing look her way. “And besides, you would never forgive yourself if you missed the chance and he never came back, right? I regret the lost time with my daughter.”
As he said it, there was the screech of tires. There was a battered old car heading into Jack’s driveway. Clara was immediately alert, but Jack held out a hand to her.
“You can relax—I know who the car belongs to.”
Jack ran for the car, and all Clara could do was watch in surprise. He’d said he didn’t know anyone in the area and didn’t get visits at all, even before the EMP strike. She watched as Jack came to a stop beside the car, staring at the young woman inside.
She got out of the car, tears streaming down her face. She ran for Jack and threw her arms around him, sobbing and saying, over and over;
“I thought I might never see you again!”
Clara came to the realization that the woman was Jack’s daughter. She must be, with how familiar they were with each other. Jack was hugging her back fiercely with a hand clenched in her hair, and, though she couldn’t see it, Clara could almost picture the look on his face.
Satisfied, now that she knew it wasn’t an enemy, she went near them. The woman pulled away from Jack and wiped at her face, her eyes landing on Clara.
“Dad, who’s this? What’s going on?”
Clara stopped a few feet away so she wouldn’t interfere with their reunion. They probably didn’t need her hanging around, but she stayed anyway. Besides, if his daughter would be staying with them, they would come to know each other soon enough.
“Things have changed since the EMP,” Jack said. “A lot of people have been stealing from my crops, and it’s simply too much for me to deal with alone. I met Clara’s group not that long ago, and they needed a place to stay, so they’re here to help.”
The daughter frowned at Clara with suspicion clear in her eyes. But then she shot her dad a look and noticed how open and trusting he was, and she softened slightly, clearly she trusted her dad and his opinion.
She extended a hand for Clara to shake and introduced herself, “Hi, my name’s Audrey.”
“I’m glad you came,” Clara said in answer as she shook the hand held out to her. “Jack missed you very much.”
At least this way, he’d experienced something he’d wanted for a long time, as well. Clara felt happy for him, truly, to have his daughter back.
She was a little surprised this woman had made it all this way, alone and with a car, and it made Clara wonder where she’d lived before everything went down, and what happened to her along the way. Her face, beneath her drying tears, was hardened, as were her eyes. Jack hadn’t seemed to notice, but Clara couldn’t miss it, because she assumed the same look was mirrored in herself.
Jack was grinning as he said, “We should all go inside and get a cup of tea.”
Chapter Seventeen
They went inside the house, and Jack was insistent on getting Audrey something.
“I’m fine, dad,” she tried to protest, but he shook his head stubbornly.
“No. This is your first time back, and I don’t plan on taking it lightly. Please, have a seat, I’ll be back soon.”
It was rare that Clara saw him act so excited, so she could only stand by and watch. The time he had shown off his crops came sort of close, but it was nowhere near this level. But she could definitely see that he was happy, and she felt happy for him.
Her eyes moved curiously to Audrey, the prodigal daughter. Well, on
e of his children anyway, but from what Jack had told her, she was probably the one he had wished he could see the most, so he could apologize to her.
Technically, Clara still had to be out on patrol. She was worried about the boy and had been going out pretty much every day since Tessa scared him off, hoping to catch sight of him. But this was important to Jack, so she didn’t remind him that he needed to be outside, as well.
While Jack was out of the room, Clara and Audrey sat down together in the living room, the other woman looking around the house before her eyes fell on Clara again.
“I haven’t seen my father so happy since my mother died, you know,” she commented.
Clara wasn’t sure if the other woman was trying to make conversation, or accusing her of something. She had obviously expected to find her father alone, yet to find Clara there with him, and Clara carrying a gun, she couldn’t imagine what the other woman thought. And she hadn't even seen the rest of the group yet. Clara wondered how that would go over, since none of them seemed to be inside, or near the house. Her sister was either outside trying to help, or cooped up in her room, Clara didn’t really care which.
“It’s not a surprise he’s so happy,” she finally said, her voice a little quiet, not sure if she was supposed to be talking back.
But when Audrey turned back to her, it didn’t seem like she was planning some interrogation. If anything, she looked at Clara with curiosity. And Clara thought she could detect some insecurity in the woman’s eyes that surprised her.
Did she really think her father wouldn’t want to see her? Clara didn’t know what went on between them, exactly. The little Jack had told her only moments ago had been enough to paint a picture, but not an entirely clear one.
She didn’t understand how an argument could have gotten so out of hand that she didn’t want to be around her father anymore. In Clara’s family, arguments could usually be worked out. Well, aside from the one between her mother and grandmother, that always seemed to run hot and cold. Though, even then, it hadn’t stopped Clara’s mom from letting the siblings getting to know their grandmother, and Viola had visited them plenty of times as they grew up.
Clara didn’t know what she could say, or if she should say anything at all. She was definitely curious, though this was so obviously none of her business. She should get up and go do what she was supposed to be doing, patrolling in case they got any other visitors, but the look in Audrey’s eyes kept her where she was.
“It’s probably because he really did miss you.” Clara bit her lip, not wanting to interfere in this family reunion, but Jack had left them alone together, so he probably wouldn’t mind them talking. “He’s told us a lot about his children, though he didn’t tell me about you specifically until literally seconds before you drove up. And it was about how he regretted missing time with you. Of course he’d be happy to have you back after that, right?”
She smiled and looked down at her lap with a sigh. “He was always a good dad, and I wish I’d listened to him instead of running off with a boy.”
Clara could tell by her voice, and the clench of her hands, even though her face was still downcast, that there was a story there.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” she asked, not expecting something positive.
“He’s long gone,” she answered, sounding bitter. “Along with everything I own.”
Ah.
Then she sighed again and glanced up at Clara with a desperate look. “I’ve wanted to come to my dad for years, but I thought he wouldn’t want to see me after my betrayal. After the EMP, I realized I couldn’t even phone him if I wanted to. It made my decision for me—I had to come to him and see if he was okay.”
Jack returned then, unintentionally interrupting their conversation. He had a cup of tea that he put on the table in front of his daughter and ruffled her hair, still looking stupidly happy.
“Look at how beautiful you are,” he commented, part pride, part praise. “You look so much like your mother did at your age, you know? She would have loved to see you…” he sighed, sadness taking over his face for a second, but it was gone almost immediately. “Well, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
Audrey blushed, but took the comment, smiling tentatively at her father. But then the expression crumpled, and she looked like she could cry again.
“I am really sorry, dad,” she started to apologize. “For my long absence, for not listening to you before. For letting my stupid pride keep me away from you, until it was almost too late.”
But Jack just waved her words away. “We have so much wasted time already—I don’t want to waste more on apologies I’ve already accepted. You must have had your reasons for not coming back, but I won’t hear them. All that matters, Audrey, is that you’re here.”
Audrey started crying again, and Clara thought it was meant to be a private moment between them when her father pulled her into a hug. Besides, she couldn’t just stay there any longer. Seeing them together, she was happy for them, but it still hurt when she remembered what she lacked.
Tessa was the only family she had left, though she did consider Cooper her family. But her parents, her grandmother, were all people lost to her. And Tessa…
Her sister was problematic. Clara had been mad at her again for what she did, and they hadn’t talked much in the past few days. But watching Jack reconcile with his daughter after who knew how long, part of her wanted to go find Tessa and apologize, then try to talk. Only, a bigger part of her—her pride—wouldn’t let her.
She smiled, a little bitterly. Audrey was a lot like her, wasn’t she? Only she finally gave in to come and see her father. Clara knew she would never be the one to make that leap. Even Viola had done it, picking them up because she felt regret for the situation with her daughter that she hadn't managed to resolve before her death, then tried to talk to Tessa when she couldn’t take the silence between them anymore, even though Tessa kept rebuking her. But Clara didn’t think she was that strong.
In that one thing, though, Audrey was lucky. She didn’t waste time, and she had the best dad. He hadn't held a grudge at all, and Clara didn’t think that would change once she explained to him what happened with the boyfriend she ran off with. He’d probably be mad on her behalf and insist on coddling her some more.
He was a good father, and, in a lot of ways, reminded her of her own. She sighed, feeling unrest in her heart.
But then she bumped into Tessa, who had been standing outside the living room, eavesdropping on their conversation by the look on her face.
She hadn't expected to come into contact with her sister so soon, and with them relatively alone. After what she’d just seen between Jack and his daughter, and the thoughts going through her mind, Clara almost softened her stance, before she firmed it. Tessa had definitely been in the wrong, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that she had been eavesdropping on a private conversation. While Clara had been there herself, she hadn't exactly hidden the fact. Which made her wonder why her sister would.
Clara froze, not sure what to say to her sister. She should probably scold her for what she’d done, but after the display she’d just witnessed, her throat tightened and wouldn’t let words out.
Then she noticed Tessa was crying.
Clara was instantly panicked. There were few instances where Tessa cried, and other than when their grandmother died, it almost always had to do with a nightmare. Her hands fluttered over her sister, looking her over to see if she was hurt anywhere. She didn’t even think about being angry anymore, because her instinctive response was to make sure her sister was fine.
“Tess, are you okay?”
Sound from the living room behind her reminded her where they were, and she took her sister’s elbow and walked her some steps away so they wouldn’t interfere with the father-daughter reunion. Tessa’s body shook with her near- silent crying, and Clara had the urge to pull her sister into a hug.
Tessa was the older sister, she was taller than Clara, t
hough thinner, but the line had always been blurred between elder and younger after the accident that changed their lives. Because her sister couldn’t cope, Clara had taken the big sister role plenty of times.
This time, though, she thought Tessa needed to cry herself out. Clara wouldn’t allow it for herself, but if crying helped Tessa in some way, then she was willing to encourage it. She patted her sister’s back, rubbing in a circular rhythm, as she tried to offer comfort to her sister’s unknown distress.
“I’m fine,” she hiccupped, wiping her eyes as she tried to get a hold of herself. “I know listening in like that was rude, but… I didn’t want to interrupt, and then I heard what they were saying.” She looked at Clara through eyes that were still leaking tears and full of misery. “Hearing it just… made me miss our parents and Viola.”
Clara’s panic subsided, but it was replaced by sadness. Of course Tessa would be thinking about it as well, she probably thought more about it than Clara did. She was the one that still had memories of the three of them dying, and while Clara felt guilty about their grandmother’s death still, Viola died taking a bullet for Tessa.
Clara had thought briefly of them, too, and it hurt, but probably not to the extent that it did Tessa with the added mental trauma that Clara had been lucky to evade in at least one of those instances. And she realized she had been doing it again, thinking selfishly instead of for her sister. Even if she was mad at Tessa, it was too cold to just ignore her sister when she was obviously going through her own issues.
Instead of treating Tessa like a child and calling her worries tantrums, Clara should have tried to talk her sister into her way of thinking.
“I understand,” Clara whispered, pulling her sister into a fierce hug, and Tessa clung onto her. “I was thinking of them, too. But it’s a private moment for the both of them, so we shouldn’t interfere with that. And you never have to think that you’re alone, okay? You still have me, and I’ve already promised that I’m not going anywhere.”
