by Meg Farrell
“Sir, I can assure you—” I start to defend my ability to do the job, when he cuts me off.
“Stop. I’m not going to fire you. You need to know my sister has some…quirks. She’s special. You need to know that if she takes a shine to you, it could become a job worthy of hazard pay.” He chuckles at the end of the sentence.
I nod. “What kinds of abilities does she have?”
“She’s… talented. Just a different kind of girl, ya know.” He’s being elusive, which makes me give new consideration to Bud and Smitty’s stories.
A cross look passes over his face before he can tamp it down. There it is. The first sign of his mental state reveals itself. My senses heighten, and I pay closer attention to his words.
Jared smiles. “Her song is sweet and puts all who hear it under her sway. The earplugs they gave you are important. The only time she can’t influence you is when she’s asleep. She’s been napping all afternoon. However, if she’s focused on someone, even asleep, her influence can cause visions. It’s like her dreams are imprinted in your mind.”
This gives me pause. The vision this afternoon. Lyra’s focused on me. The vision was her dream. Lyra dreamt of a summer afternoon with me. I work to keep my face blank, but I can feel the rising heat as it bleeds into my cheeks. The idea pleases and terrifies me at the same time.
“You had a vision when you first came in here, didn’t you?” Jared observes.
I lie this time. “No. Why?”
He looks suspicious. “No reason. Come on.” He stands. “Let me show you around and tell you what to be on the lookout for. You did good last night, but you can’t let anyone get as close to her as that one guy did.” He starts to walk away, but stops and turns to face me. “I’ll kill you if you fail at this job. In any way.”
The coldness in his eyes causes me to shiver, and I know, without a doubt, he’ll make good on that promise.
After a few weeks on the job, I’ve learned that Jared is every bit of the shrewd bastard Bud and Smitty told me he was. I’ve seen him addressing other hands, and they’re all terrified to cross him. Me, on the other hand, he treats as a friend. This drags up old feelings about my moral compass and the things I once did in the name of making a living. Things I know I can’t do anymore. But here I am, working for one of the craziest people I’ve ever met and protecting a siren.
What’s keeping me in Jared’s good graces is my usefulness to him beyond security. Now that he knows I’m an attorney, he has me weigh in on contracts and other business ventures he wants to get into. My specialty is criminal defense, but in his eyes, one attorney is as good as another. We have a mutually beneficial relationship.
Lyra has infected me. There’s nothing I can do to resist the temptation of looking at her. Absorbing her every move. Her eyes consume me from the inside out. I see her in my dreams. I hear her when I’m alone. It’s an intoxicating addiction, and I can’t wait for the next hit. I would do anything to protect her, including sacrificing myself. Without a doubt, I would die for this woman, yet we’ve never even touched or had a conversation. Her dreams and visions assault me when I least expect them. If her dreams are even remotely related to her true feelings, I need to be with her.
I decide to risk it and talk to her. Find out why she’s possessed me so completely. I’ve heard the warnings. I’m fully aware that Jared will kill me if he finds out, but I need to know. I have to believe her visions are the true way she feels. How I feel must be real. I’m sure it is. My rational mind reminds me that talking to Lyra is a ridiculous plan, but my emotional mind can’t separate the feeling…the desire to understand how she sees me.
Jared exits the tent as I arrive. He tells me to get started on the routine security checks. Crowds have doubled over the last week, for which Jared has no explanation.
When I asked him about it he said, “I’ve seen it one other time, and it was…” His answer trailed off as his eyes glazed over; lost in thought. It was like he was seeing something a hundred miles away, and we never finished the conversation. The answer lay just beyond my reach.
So we’re reevaluating the security plan. Jared has Old Man Lucas add some men to Lyra’s security detail, and appoints me head of the team. None of the other team members are here for this evening’s shift yet. With Jared in Old Man Lucas’s tent for his weekly pay meeting, I seize my opportunity by stepping into Lyra’s room and removing my ear plugs as I walk toward her cage.
She doesn’t turn to look at me, so I pace around the perimeter. Standing behind her, I catch a glimpse of myself in the dressing mirror Jared moves into the cage each night for her performance preparation. I stop in my tracks.
Lyra looks directly at me and smiles so sweetly my heart clinches. “Hello, Coen.”
I open my mouth to return her greeting, but my voice won’t work. Clearing my throat, I feel it clear and try again. “Hello, Lyra.”
Saying her name aloud fills an empty place in my heart, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. Heat floods my cheeks. I’ve never been shy or timid with women, but then I’ve never met someone like her.
“I’m glad to see you again tonight,” she says coyly.
“It’s always a joy to work with you. I need to ask you a question.”
“Why you love me?” she asks. “You want to know if you truly love me or if I’ve bewitched you.”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Why does it matter?” The look on her face is sad when she answers, and she turns to face me.
The nausea and squeamish feeling starts in the pit of my stomach, and I clutch my arms around my middle. “Lyra. Lyra, please…” The words get choked in my throat as the pain spreads throughout my body. “Please, stop it.”
She blinks innocently. “Stop what, Coen?”
“You know what I mean! Stop trying to sway me. Don’t you want anything real in your life? If I’m crazy about you because of your abilities, it can’t be real. You’re messing with my head.”
As if I’ve hit the right button, she stops and the pain recedes.
“It doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s all a chemical reaction in your brain. You love me. Why you love me doesn’t matter.”
“But it’s not real. You have no feelings for me.”
She shrugs. “It’s real enough.”
“Enough for what?”
Her gentle smile seems to be hiding something. “I like you. You’re handsome and I can tell you’re kind. Everyone else is afraid of Jared and especially afraid of me. You’re the first bodyguard I’ve had that is genuine to the core of your being. Swaying people’s feelings and invading their minds isn’t my only talent.” She winks.
I frown. “Tell the truth, Lyra. Tell me why you keep replaying visions in my mind and consuming me.”
She replies, “I can influence anyone, but you’re the first person I truly want. I think you can take me away from here.” Her smile disappears, and she looks away from me.
Lyra’s like any other girl in this moment. Any girl who’s unhappy with her life and looking for a way out. She just wants the freedom to live her life as she chooses. And she’s choosing me.
“So it’s real, then? You love me?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m more powerful. I think that’s because of you. You make me happy. Is that the same as love?”
I try to think of a way to explain the differences between love and happiness, but I can’t. Instead, I begin to think of ways to help her escape, but I come up empty handed. I don’t know how to get her out. I don’t know where we can go. We have no time. Softly, I say, “We can’t. Jared will kill me. He could kill both of us.”
Slowly, she lifts her head, and with her gaze on me, she says, “We can leave. You’re smart, and I know you can figure out a way.”
“I don’t even know how to get you out of that cage yet.” The reality of that statement hits me hard. It’s a hollowness in my chest that radiates out into my limbs. I shiver. “I will figure this out. Somehow we’ll get you
out of there.” It’s a promise.
She’s calculating when she says, “If I can tell you how to get me out of the cage, can you figure out how to get us away from the show?”
I nod. “I’ve disappeared before.”
She walks to the bars of her cage, and reaches through them to hold my hand. Her hands are freezing, so I warm them between mine. Curious heat builds between us.
Her voice is barely audible when she whispers, “The key to the cage is in the wet bar. There’s a secret panel under the rack of bottles; it slides out of the way. I’ve seen him open it before. Jared keeps one key on him at all times. A copy of that key is in the panel. Next time he leaves to see Old Man Lucas, steal the key and hang on to it.”
Thinking through her plan, I nod slowly. “All right. Once we get you out, you’ll need to dress differently. You’ll need traveling clothes that help you blend in with everyone around you. Where can I find some clothes for you?”
Lyra nods and slides her hands up and down my biceps. She smells like jasmine, lavender, and sweet vanilla. I’m starting feel like I’ve been drinking, and she whispers, “You’ll have to go into town. Maybe the thrift store the carnies talk about would have something. But you can’t bring the clothes here. I’ll have to change on the way to wherever. What else do we need?”
“Money. I have that covered. I’ve been socking away everything I make. Lucas takes out money for my room and board, but I save what’s left. I have enough to get us on a bus. I need a bus schedule to know when we can go. Perhaps we can do it when there’s another pay meeting. Next week? Jared is going to hunt us like dogs when he finds you gone.”
She giggles. “He will.”
I shrug. “If the bus schedule doesn’t match up close enough to the pay meeting next week, we’ll need to lay low at a hotel until we can get on the bus. I’ll work on that.”
She moves her palms down my arms and squeezes my hands before letting go. My pulse is steadily increasing, and warmth spreads through my body like a fever. My mind begins to fog, and I don’t think I can keep talking to her much longer. I’m just not strong enough.
“Lyra?”
“Yes?”
“Have you ever left that cage? In your life?”
She smiles. “I wasn’t born in this cage. I know that much. Jared lets me out when I need personal time. You know, showers and bathroom breaks. I’ve never left the tent, though.”
I can’t help worrying about her. “Are you sure you’re ready for life outside?”
She sighs. “Take me away from this place, Coen. Get me away from Jared.”
Two weeks pass before I’m able to pin down Jared’s exact schedule. There are times when he leaves Lyra unattended besides when he meets with Old Man Lucas. I compare that to the times Jared leaves the tent each Tuesday. I do a time study to understand how he typically goes from one place to the other.
The walk to Old Man Lucas’s office is roughly three minutes. The walk back should be the same. He usually spends twenty to thirty-five minutes in Old Man Lucas’s office when he goes. We’ll have twenty-six to forty-one minutes to get as far away from Carnivale Mystique as possible.
I manage a trip to town with some of the other fellas. While they hang out at the local watering hole, I slip off to the Goodwill and pick up a few normal looking outfits for Lyra. I also walk down to the bed and breakfast to make a reservation for the following Tuesday night. After that, I make a detour by the bus station. The schedule doesn’t look great for Tuesdays. However, at six a.m. Wednesday, a bus is scheduled to leave for Arizona with a connection to California. That should be a good start. In hopes of making that bus, I buy two tickets.
Back at the carnival, I cut open the bottom of my mattress to hide the bus tickets and the remainder of my money. No one knows about the escape plan, but these guys are so paranoid and suspicious that I don’t want to risk anyone asking any questions. Sometimes, I get the feeling everyone is watching us.
When I’m not planning or plotting our escape, I watch Lyra. Some days are mundane and routine. Other times, when we’re alone, we risk everything to talk. She touches my hands or arms, desperate to find a way to connect us. Her hands are consistently cold and then warm upon contact with me.
Lyra always smells delicious, and I crave the next time when we can be together because nothing is ever enough. I’ve discovered that she has an interesting sense of humor, and I love to make her laugh. Her smile is burned into my mind. Not since the day we made our plan have I questioned if this is real or her influence over me. As she once said, “Does it matter?” and the answer is no. It doesn’t matter. I’ll take a short time with her over anything else in this world.
When her performance is over each night, I tuck her in, as I call it, by latching her cage into its resting place on the tracks. When Jared isn’t looking, I silently mouth the words “I love you” to her. She answers by sending a burst of loving energy to me. It feels similar to the heat that radiates from a fire when you’re standing close by it. Tonight, instead of “I love you,” I say, “Tomorrow.” She acknowledges me with a minuscule nod. When I finish checking in all the equipment from my security team, I turn to Jared and bid him farewell.
Jared stops me when he asks, “What happens tomorrow, Coen?”
Fear strikes me like lightning from head to toe. Thinking quickly, I answer, “I’m working the show tomorrow.”
At this he turns to face me. “I warned you not to talk to her.”
I nod. “You did. I’m sorry. It feels awkward to spend so much time guarding her and not speaking. I won’t do it again.”
“No, you won’t.” He says with a look that lets me know, without a doubt, that I face the same fate as Big Jim if I mess up. “Watch yourself. I kind of like you, and it would be unfortunate to have you removed from the show.”
“Yes, sir,” I answer as I leave the tent.
As I lie in bed and shake with fear about what might be happening to Lyra since Jared seems to be sniffing fairly close to the plan, I receive a vision from her. I’m sure it’s from her because, in the vision, it’s daytime and we’re running away from the show. We’re holding hands with nothing ahead of us, but I know we’re running away by the main tent in the distance behind us. It’s her only impression of what this will be like. She craves the sunshine and has no idea what’s coming.
I smile because of the innocence in her perspective and I know Jared’s not hurting her. Finally, I can relax enough to get some sleep, and all I can do is dream about the moment I can take her into my arms.
When I report for work the next day, Jared is amped in a way I’ve rarely seen. He’s pacing and ranting at Smitty, who’s standing stock still and silent. Something’s wrong, but I’m too scared to ask. I want to draw as little attention as possible. Jared sees me and growls before storming away.
Smitty takes this chance to tell me, “Big Jim died.”
I have no words because I didn’t know the man, but the gravity of the news settles on me anyway. I manage a weak, “I’m sorry.”
Smitty accepts this and leaves to find Jared. It’s too early for Jared’s meeting with Old Man Lucas, but I’m scared that his mood will delay our escape attempt. I don’t have the money to start over. This may be our only chance, so I take it. I pretend to do my security check, and step over to the wet bar, immediately locating the hidden panel Lyra told me about. Within seconds, I have the key to her cage.
My hands shake when I run to her cage and try to unlock the door. At first, it’s hard to get the key into the slot correctly. It’s a standard skeleton key, but it just won’t go in. I realize my shaking hands are causing the problem. Lyra reaches through the bars to steady them. At the contact, I relax and have the determination and strength necessary for the task.
The door swings wide. When it does, Lyra stands upright like a statue, but she doesn’t move.
“Come on!” I urge.
She shakes her head and mouths, “Run.” Finding her voice, she screams
at the top of her lungs, “Run, Coen! Run!”
I turn just in time to dodge Jared’s baseball bat. My momentum lands me flat on my ass, and I scramble back, using my heels to dig into the ground. “Wait! Jared…stop…”
My words are useless because he’s consumed with rage. I barely make it to my feet before he’s close enough to swing again, connecting with my shoulder as I try to avoid getting hit. Pain rips through my chest, back, and up into my neck. Doubling over, I have to think quickly to stay away from his bat. He’s setting up the next swing when he drops to the ground in a heap. Lyra has used a piece of her brass dressing table to knock him in the head. I grab her hand and drag her from the tent as fast as we can move.
Having spent so much time indoors, the fading sun is still bright enough to throw her off balance and slow us down.
“Cover your eyes!” I yell over my shoulder as I pull her behind me. “Hold my hand!”
Something I hadn’t considered was her lack of endurance. Running takes a toll on her. She’s spent most of her life in a cage or the tent. She’s never had to run before. I’m holding my right arm tight to my body to limit the movement. Damn thing is likely dislocated.
I find a small hill where we can hide to rest. Then, I hear the calls from the other men in the camp. “Over there. Get the guns. Find them!”
My heart is about to explode in my ears. I’m terrified, and so is Lyra. Her terror and exhaustion are flooding my body as she sends bursts of energy through me. She’s scared enough that she’s not even talking. I pray for the sun to go down faster. The dark will help. All I can think about is why I was dumb enough to do this earlier than planned! When I hear Jared telling the men to find us “dead or alive,” I’m propelled into action. I know he’s serious, and it’s not a risk we can take.
I get Lyra to her feet. Pointing in the direction she needs to go, I say, “That way. Run. Don’t stop. Even if you can’t breathe, you don’t stop. Run directly into town. Go! Now!”
“Not without you,” she argues.
“We have to split up if we’re to have any kind of chance. There aren’t enough men to chase both of us. Just go!”
