“I wonder just how much passive solar will be available from here out, Allex,” he thought out loud.
It didn’t slip by me that he’d taken to calling me Allex instead of Allexa. I also noticed that I didn’t really mind.
“It could become a problem. We’ll deal with it when it comes along.” A thought rumbled through my mind. “I see another problem approaching, Mark.”
“What’s that?”
“Explaining you to my family across the road.”
“Already taken care of, Allex. Yes, I checked on the puppy while I was there, and she’s doing very well, by the way, but my main reason was to talk to your sons. Another suggestion that John made.”
“You told them you were staying here? Before I knew?” I stood, angry at the implication.
“Please, Allex, it wasn’t like that,” Mark said. “John said you don’t keep anything from your sons, but some of it coming from me might be easier. On you and on them. He wanted me to tell them it was his idea, so they would accept it better. Was he wrong?”
“I don’t know, Mark. I just feel like so much control of my life has been taken away from me.” I sat back down. “How did they take it?”
“Although he wasn’t against me being here, Eric wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Jason is all for it. I guess we just have to make the best of it and wait.”
I had decided to leave the t-shirt on and just add a pair of jeans when I spotted the money pouch on my dresser where I had tossed it the morning John left. Thinking it would be better to put it back in my drawer, I moved it, only to discover what it had been hiding for the last two days: another envelope, a folded piece of paper, and the ring box.
I opened the box to find a beautiful diamond and emerald ring set in yellow gold, but no wedding band. When John proposed I never did see it. I closed the box and set it aside.
The folded sheet was a simple note:
Allexa,
I know I said I will be back in a week, but if I’m not back in two weeks, I didn’t make it and I want you to move on.
The doctor is a good man.
Don’t forget me,
John
I set the note aside, my heart heavy with the grief I knew was coming, and picked up the other envelope. It was thick and heavy, and inside it was filled with one hundred dollar bills. John had left behind a great deal of his hazard bonus.
I swept all of it into the drawer and closed it, then finished getting dressed.
* * *
Tufts made a rare appearance and followed me out to the greenhouse. I thought about what Eric had done for Chivas and wished I had done something like that for my cat. Maybe I still could.
“I need to get some things from the barn. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I told Mark, as I pulled on the thin white papery biohazard suit that would protect my skin. I pulled the hood up and secured it, adding the tight fitting goggles and surgical respirator, and then gloves.
“It still amazes me what you have on hand, Allex. When you get back in, you’ll have to tell me why,” Mark said.
The small ante-room was beginning to feel like an airlock, and maybe that was what we should think of it as.
* * *
In the barn, I found the old litter box that had a crack in the bottom. Useless as a litter box now, I had been using it for weeding or moving plants. I rummaged in the corner where I kept all the gardening stuff, hoping to find a bag of potting soil, and then remembered there were still two buckets full of fresh soil in the greenhouse. I found the bag of grass seed I used for the chickens’ yard and set it aside. I found a rake and shovel and after pushing aside an inch of ash, I dug up a big chunk of lawn. I took it all back with me.
“May I inquire what you’re planning on doing?” Mark asked, looking at everything I had brought in.
“I had forgotten that Tufts might want some fresh grass to chew on or just to sit in. Hopefully this will satisfy him,” I replied. Before removing my protective gear, I pumped some water into a bucket and rinsed the clinging gray ash from the blades of grass.
With the grass in the center of the flat plastic pan, fresh dirt piled around it sprinkled with seed and then watered, I set it on the floor. If Tufts takes to it, great, if not, it was something to do that kept my mind off the note hidden in my dresser.
My white bio-suit hung next to Mark’s hooded jacket. Masks and goggles in a small pail on the floor. Protection needs to be always available, always ready. Something we would have to work on more.
* * *
“I thought we were going to start up that other stove?” Mark said.
“We will. I think we need to talk some first. You need to know why I do what I do, why I have what I have, and why I feel this way,” I answered. There are things that were so clear to me, but others just didn’t understand. “Plus I have a few questions about yesterday, though I’ve been hesitant to ask.”
“Ask away,” Mark said. I knew his smile wouldn’t last long when I start asking questions.
“All those people who died yesterday, where are they? What did you do with them?” And as I suspected, Mark’s good mood vanished.
“The town handyman, Pete, and I moved them into the nearest house,” he said, a shadow passing over his face. “We couldn’t just leave them lying in the street for wild animals to desecrate them. I wasn’t thinking at the time that the wild animals are just as susceptible to the ravages of this ash as we are. The thought made both of us want to move the bodies to safety anyway.”
“So Pete wasn’t one of the victims, that’s good. I like Pete, he’s a good man,” I paused. “Who else made it? Who is left alive?”
He looked at me, sorrow filling his very being.
“Pastor Carolyn was the only one to stay inside, Allex, along with your friends, Bob and Kathy. The very young, the very old, all of them went quickly if they weren’t wearing protective gear. I still don’t understand why they did this. Such a waste!”
“Who is still alive, Mark?”
“When I left Pete, Lenny took over helping him. I didn’t see anyone else moving around.”
“My friends, Bob and Kathy, you actually saw them?”
“Yes, they were helping Pastor Carolyn in the Stone Soup Kitchen. Even inside they were wearing their masks,” he reached for my hand. “They were smart enough to heed your warning. I know I’m glad I did.”
So many gone. I closed my eyes and pictured Pastor Carolyn the last time I saw her. She looked so peaceful, so ready to accept whatever came. Well, her god sent her this and it almost killed her.
“So now it’s your turn, Allex,” Mark said. “How is it you seem to have whatever someone needs?”
I gave him a sad smile. “I’ve long felt there would be a disaster that I needed to live through. The bio-suits, and boxes of masks and gloves? I thought it would be for a flu pandemic of some kind. I never, ever pictured what we have here.” I swept my arm out, parting the curtains from the window beside the polished table. The view was dismal: everything was coated in gray and black ash. It clung to the leaves on the trees and bushes, the green almost completely obscured. It covered the yellow pine picnic table where we had sat not two days ago. It coated the black asphalt road. And it was still coming down, drifting silently, smothering the life out of anything living.
“I didn’t stop there, Mark, oh no, not me. I worried about everything, not just a pandemic flu. I studied and researched. I knew that so many things that could happen likely wouldn’t. I still got ready in case, just in case, an invasion or nuke or economic collapse did come at us! And all that research told me that we would need the same things no matter what it was that finally took us down: shelter, heat, food, water and security.” I turned as I paced, facing this man my man had chosen for me. My breathing was getting labored. I knew I had to continue, I had to get my emerging dark thoughts out or I would burst.
“By the way, even after feeding so many this past winter I still have close to five years of food out in the sh
eds. At least another ton of wheat waiting to be ground into flour so I can keep making bread for my family; another ton of rice and other grains; freeze dried this and that; soaps and shampoo; coffee? Eventually we’ll run out, but not for a long time! And books… books that tell me how to do what I don’t know how to do already.” I could feel the tears welling up, spilling over. “And for what, Mark? For what? So I could watch my friends and family die? This, this ash could kill us all! If not today or tomorrow, then next year! Did I save us just so we could watch the world end in a slow painful death?”
I was standing near the glass door. I reached for the handle to open it, to let the ash in, to let death in, when I felt Mark’s arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me away.
“No, Allex, no!” he said into my ear, holding me against his hard chest.
I struggled, and then I let out a sob, and turned in his arms. I laid my head against him and circled his trim waist with my arms, trembling.
Mark held me secure until I stopped.
“What brought this on, Allex? Something I said?”
I dragged myself from his warmth and retrieved John’s note from my room. I laid the note on the table and pushed it toward Mark. After he read it and set it down again, he pulled me back into his embrace, holding me close and tight.
“It’s going to be a long two weeks,” he whispered to no one.
CHAPTER 30
We stood there, holding each other, my head against his chest, his chin resting on top of my head. After the failed relationships I’ve had, all I’ve desired is for a man to hold me like he wanted to, and to kiss me like he meant it. I had that with John; would I find that with Mark?
“So my strong and independent Allex has a vulnerable side?” Mark chuckled softly.
“Please don’t tell anyone. It’ll ruin my image.” I smiled up and him and moved away, pulling up my shields once again.
“Do you think we should go into Moose Creek to see if they need help to… to… bury the bodies?”
“We could, if you want,” Mark said. “We would have to take your car, mine was running really rough by the time I pulled in yesterday.”
“Rough? Ah, the ash likely clogged up your air filter. We can fix that,” I said to a surprised doctor. “Would you like one of the bio-suits? They’re really easy to get in and out of and surprisingly easy to move around in, too.”
“And just how many extras do you have?” he asked with a smirk.
“None are extra,” I said with a straight face, and then smiled. “I stored a dozen of various sizes.” I got the bin of medical supplies out of the closet and retrieved a packaged suit for him, along with one of the one-piece masks.
“Please understand, Mark, I don’t mean to be rude, but how much do you know about your car? Can you find your air filter? Sometimes they’re not so obvious.”
“No offense taken. I wasn’t always a doctor, Allex, I think I can remove the filter, and not even need a scalpel,” he joked.
“Okay, let’s suit up and take a look.” I grabbed a package of pantyhose on the way out the door.
Mark popped the hood, and undid the cover to the air filter. He handed the dirty and clogged device to me. I tapped it hard several times against the nearest tree, loosening an amazing amount of ash, and gave it back to him. Once the cover was on again, I fitted the panty hose over the cover, tying the legs into a knot and out of the way.
Mark stared at me and shook his head. He took several boxes out of the back seat, handing me a couple and took an armload himself.
“Did you put pantyhose on my car??” he asked, aghast, once we were back in the house.
“The fine mesh will keep the ash out of the filter, and will be easier to clean,” I said with a grin, and then changed the subject. “What’s in the boxes?”
“I couldn’t very well leave all my medical supplies and instruments unguarded in my office, could I? Most of it is pharmaceuticals that need a cool place. Any suggestions?”
“Better to have them here, yes.” I agreed. “You can store what you need to in the refrigerator. Right now it’s only cool anyway.” While he unloaded those two boxes into the silent appliance, I retrieved another jug of ice from the upright freezer, and put the melted one back in.
“One of the things I do, and I need you to do too, is rotate the ice blocks when we don’t have power, and to make sure there is always ice freezing when we do.” It was one of those many things I didn’t even think about anymore, I just did it.
“I can do that, Allex, anything to make your work a little easier,” Mark said. “When we come back, or in the next few days, if you don’t mind, I’d like to look over what you might have in the way of medical supplies. That’s another thing I can take completely off your hands, the doctoring.”
When I looked alarmed, he added, “There will be times when I’ll need your help, you’ve already proven to be an excellent assistant.”
My FRS crackled.
“Mom, are you receiving?” Jason asked.
“Yes, Jason, I’m here,” I answered quickly. “Anything wrong?”
“No, I just wanted to warn you that I’m on my way over. I have something to show you and I need some things from the barn. Out.”
I certainly didn’t mind delaying what we had to do.
* * *
As I watched Jason approach I chuckled. My youngest son’s inventiveness never ceases to amaze me. He was holding an umbrella that had a heavy, clear plastic bag draped over it. The bag came down to his knees.
Without me even suggesting it, Jason came to the greenhouse door and shook his umbrella suit a second time, and then stepped into the humid heat and removed his face mask.
“So what do you think of my idea?” He grinned at me. “Good morning, Doctor,” he said, acknowledging Mark.
“Very clever, Jason, and I’m glad to see you wearing the mask too. What made you think of this?”
“I’m trying to rig something for Jacob. When I tried the mask on him, he freaked,” Jason frowned. “I do have some ideas; maybe making a bubble for him to sit in the wagon, I’m just not sure. Do you have any extra umbrellas I can use to make my contraption for the others?”
“Of course. I’ll get them.”
When I returned with three umbrellas, it was obvious Mark and Jason had been in a deep discussion.
“Mom, I think Dr. Mark is right, and that Eric and I should go with you two into town. It’s the least we can do, and we can get the task done that much quicker,” Jason stated, and he wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
“Fine. In fact, I think it is a good idea. I’ll get two more suits,” I said, going back to rummage through the tub of medical supplies.
“We will need more room than your little compact for the four of us, Mark, so I’m going to rig my car air filter the same way. We should be ready to leave as soon as the boys come back,” I said, “and while I do that, you might want to look through my little black bag, and make whatever changes you feel appropriate. I didn’t see one in everything you brought in.” I handed him my very stuffed black purse.
“Doctors don’t carry little black bags anymore, Allex.”
“Well, times they are a’changing, Doctor,” I grinned, heading out the door.
* * *
The four of us, suited up, gloved and masked with the eye shield units, drove into a ghost town: downtown Moose Creek. The ash dust streaked across the road and settled in the church parking lot. We parked near the home Mark indicated housed our departed citizens.
It was eerie and way too quiet, until I heard the rumble of machinery. The four of us walked up the main street following the noise, and as we approached the cemetery, I could see Pete on the bulldozer, digging up the baseball field next to it. He was wearing a long sleeved red shirt with the cuffs tucked into rubber dishwashing gloves, covered by gray leather work gloves. When he saw us approaching, he stopped. His face was covered with one of the surgical masks I had handed out, plus a diving mask
for his eyes; odd looking, but effective.
“Pete,” I called out so he would know who we were. I imagine we looked as odd to him as he did to us.
“Allexa?” he said, climbing down from the machinery. “I’m so glad you’re here!” He pulled me into an awkward hug.
“Are you doing this all alone, Pete?” Eric asked.
“Lenny went home to rest and to get something to eat. I thought I would get this part done. There’s no room left in the cemetery, Allex, in case you’re wondering. I’m just about finished here.”
“Pete, we’ve come to help. Eric, Jason, Dr. Mark and I, we will help you bury everyone,” I said. “If there is an open bed pickup truck, we can start loading the… people.”
He tossed Jason the keys to the black township truck parked next to the ball field. While Jason drove, the three of us walked the two deserted blocks.
* * *
It was a heart wrenching task. The agony or surprise etched upon the faces of the townspeople was almost too much for me to bear. The seven children were the hardest. I picked up a small child that was perhaps five years old; he weighed next to nothing and was stiffening with rigor-mortis. I wrapped him gently in a sheet and laid him in the back of the truck, trying not to look at his innocent face.
The Journal: Ash Fall Page 23
