The only thing that mattered was this woman in his arms. He pressed against her, his need swollen and firm. Her skin was soft, damp and hot beneath his hands. Did she want him, too?
Bill loosened his hold on her and worked his hands around to the front of her blouse. He found the button at the top and struggled to work it free.
Darcy’s body stiffened. She grew still, and her breath stopped. Then she thrust her hands between them and pushed him away.
Bill groaned, but he backed off.
“Stop. We can’t do this,” Darcy rasped, her voice breathless, panicky. She backed again into her corner. “You promised.”
“I did promise it would be just a business arrangement,” Bill admitted, his voice as hoarse and husky as hers. “I have never taken a woman against her will, and don’t mean to start that now.” But, he had been dangerously close to doing that not thirty seconds ago.
Darcy looked as if she wanted to say something, but she seemed to be at a loss for words. Her lips moved, but she didn’t speak. Her wide, frightened eyes spoke eloquently for her.
“I’m sorry,” he managed tightly, though he wasn’t certain what exactly he was sorry for. Was it because he had pushed her too far?
Or had he just not gone far enough to satisfy himself?
She blinked and swallowed, but still didn’t speak. She clutched at her neck with a trembling hand as if she were trying to catch her breath or still a racing heart. Did she feel what he was feeling, too? Or had he simply frightened her? He had to figure out how to be close to her without going out of his mind. Thank God, his week’s leave was nearly over.
“I was out of line,” Bill finally managed. “It won’t happen again.” He drew in a long, ragged breath. “We’ll just have to figure out some other way to show Momma.”
“That we like each other…?” Darcy managed a thin smile. “I do like you, Bill. Billy. I admire what you’re doing for your mother, but I’m not in the right place in my life to get involved with anoth—with a man.”
Had she meant to say another man? Bill shook the thought away. Why did it matter? He had no real claim on her. He’d known her only a matter of days, and he’d be returning to Hurlburt in just a few more. In the meantime, surely they could manage to keep their distance.
The charade depended on it.
He looked down at Darcy, who was busily trying to look anywhere but at him. Not easy, when he had her wedged in the corner in the kitchen. “I’ll just go back out to the porch and let you finish up in here,” Bill said.
“Thank you,” she said, her relief evident in her voice. “I won’t be long. Then I think I’ll just turn in early. My day at work is catching up with me.”
Bill backed away, and Darcy slid—her arms crossed over her chest and her back pressed against the counter—around to the sink. Only when he’d stepped out of the kitchen did she turn away from him and back to her dishes.
He desperately needed a long, cold shower, but Bill didn’t want Darcy to know that. He didn’t want her to think that he couldn’t control himself around her. He didn’t want to frighten her away.
He uttered a wry snort. His air-force training had taught him to control a lot of his impulses. Why hadn’t there been a course on how to control his need for Darcy? Or was it merely his need for a woman?
Any woman.
DARCY HELD her breath for what seemed like forever, then let it out in a long, slow sigh. She turned on the water and started to wash her hands, but stopped before she even got them wet. She wasn’t certain what had upset her more: the intensity of her attraction for Bill Hays or the fact that she’d pushed him away.
In her mind, she knew that she shouldn’t be reacting the way she was to the man, considering what she’d just been through with Dick. But, in her heart, she couldn’t help wondering if this new depth of feeling, this sexual attraction she’d never felt with her former fiancé was something she wanted to—ought to—explore.
Why hadn’t she felt that way with Dick? If she had, would she have left him waiting at the altar?
She shook her head. Then, realizing that she had left the water running into the sink, she turned off the tap. She didn’t even remember why she had turned the water on, and she wasn’t sure what she should do about Bill.
One thing she did know. If she couldn’t untangle her confused thoughts about Dick and the growing attraction she felt for Bill, she wasn’t going to be able to get on with the rest of her life.
She glanced over her shoulder through the door to where she could just see Bill sitting on the porch swing. Darcy drew in a deep breath and moistened her lips. Bill would be going back to his base in Florida in just a few days. And considering the crazy, mixed-up way she felt at this moment, Darcy wasn’t certain whether that was a good thing…or a bad one.
IT WAS BEGINNING to be a daily ritual.
Bill sat out on the porch swing while Darcy finished the supper dishes. Again. He hated staying out here when he could be inside helping, but he hated worse having to keep his distance from her. He figured the best thing he could do would be to keep himself as far away from Darcy as he could. At least, that way, he wouldn’t be tempted, and if Momma was watching, he wouldn’t have to try to pretend. Pretending wasn’t hard. Not when the attraction was this real. The hard part was knowing that for Darcy it wasn’t.
Mornings had been easy enough. He’d stayed in bed until Darcy had gone. Tonight had been a killer. They’d had to demonstrate the affection Momma expected, and it was agonizing to hold back. But then, Darcy stiffened every time he got close to her, and that was almost like being doused with ice water.
But only for a moment.
As soon as they’d get some distance between them, the heat of his desire would flare up again. Why couldn’t she feel the same way about him?
“Is there room for me?”
Bill looked up, startled. How had the object of his thoughts, his desires, sneaked up on him like that? He swallowed and managed a smile. “There’s always room for you, darlin’.” He scooted over and patted the seat.
“Thanks,” Darcy said as she settled down on the swing—a little too far away for Bill’s liking, but she was there, and that was better than nothing.
“I think I owe you a little bit of an explanation,” she told him without preamble.
“No, you don’t owe me a thing. I figure you’ve been doing me a huge favor, way above and beyond the call…and I shouldn’t expect more than that.”
She put her fingers to his lips, and Bill felt a sudden tightening in his jeans.
“Hush,” she said. “I need to say this.”
Bill held his hands up. “Okay, I give…”
“You and your mother have been nothing but kind to me since I’ve been here.” She stopped and cleared her throat, then paused to think. “After all, I just sort of barged into your lives, and you took me in, no questions asked.”
She paused again, moistened her lips, then went on. “Normally, I wouldn’t have been so eager to let you convince me to mooch off you.”
“You haven’t been mooching. You’re really going to take a load off my mind when I go back to Florida,” Billy interrupted.
“Just let me finish,” she said sharply, then softened her tone. “I’m glad to help, but you need to understand why I’m willing. Usually, I’m more cautious.”
“You’re not running from the law, are you?”
That made her smile.
“No,” Darcy said, then swallowed a chuckle. “I was supposed to be married,” she said simply.
“Did he walk out on you?” Bill couldn’t imagine any man walking out on Darcy. That man must have been a fool!
“No, I left him. And, I didn’t do it nice and neat. I left him standing at the altar, having to explain to all the wedding guests that there wouldn’t be a wedding.” She paused to moisten her lips.
“It’s all right, Darcy. I’m sure you had your reasons.”
Darcy leaned back in the swing, causing it to sway gently. Bill
rested his hand on the back of the seat to steady it, and Darcy didn’t push him away.
She looked out over the yard, just being swallowed by the darkness. The fireflies were starting to come up as if responding on cue to the need to soften the night. Bill took a deep breath of the honeysuckle-scented air and waited for her to go on.
He could understand, now, why she was so skittish when it came to play-acting. Why she had been so shocked when he’d suggested they go along with his mother’s assumption. He’d try to give her the space, the time, she needed.
It wouldn’t be easy.
“I’d known the man since I was a kid. Our families had known each other forever.” Darcy leaned her head back and rested it on his arm. Bill didn’t move, but held his breath, lest the slightest motion remind her that he was there. He didn’t want to frighten her away. He waited for her to go on.
“Our parents were so…so fixated…on us being united, that they didn’t really notice that it wasn’t what I wanted.” She sighed. “And I was so used to being the good girl and doing what my parents told me to that I just went along with it. I thought I could do it.”
Bill muttered a curse. “Didn’t they ask you? Didn’t that guy ask you?”
Darcy managed a brittle laugh. “You know, looking back on it, I don’t think I ever truly accepted his proposal. I told him I needed to think about it, but when I went to my mother for advice, she was so excited that it just seemed easier to go along with her grand plans.
“That’s what I get for opening up to my mother, I guess,” she said ruefully. “Anyway, I played along all the way up until the day of the wedding. Then I sat there in the church, waiting for the ceremony to begin, and I realized I couldn’t go through with it.
“I couldn’t imagine myself married to him, tied down to him, for the rest of my life. I want a chance to earn my own living, to go out and explore. To find out who I am, independent of my family’s expectations.” She looked up at him and shrugged. “So, are you sorry you got us mixed up in this mess?”
Bill thought for a long moment. “No,” he said, finally understanding what was going on in her head. “I’m glad I could give you a place to figure things out, and I’m really glad I happened to pick you up that night. It almost seems like it was planned.”
“I hardly think so,” Darcy said wryly. “But, I like your mother, I like my new job, and I’m glad the arrangement is working out.” She scooted around in the seat, turning to face him, and Bill mourned the loss of the feel of her skin.
“Whatever the reason, it’ll take a load off me, knowing somebody who knows what they’re doing is here with Momma. That’ll make going back to Hurlburt a hell of a lot easier.”
The hard part would be saying goodbye.
THE NIGHT was warm, in spite of the air conditioner, and Darcy lay awake in the narrow bed across the hall from Bill’s room for a good long time. The cooling system droned, the crickets chirped outside, and the bugs continued to batter against the window screens. Under normal circumstances, all the white noise around her would have guaranteed a sound night’s sleep, but slumber eluded her.
And it had nothing to do with sounds coming from outside her window.
She felt better having told Bill about Dick. Well, she hadn’t actually given him name, rank and serial number, but still…maybe if he kissed her, that would clarify her thoughts, make Bill seem more human and less damned attractive.
She laughed at that, softly in the quiet of the night. Bill Hays would have to work really hard to be unattractive. After all, she’d seen him sweaty and grimy after working all day in the hot sun, and she’d gone weak in the knees just at the sight.
Had that been merely a physical reaction that she should try to control, or was this the beginning of something…real?
Darcy sat up, punched her pillow, then flopped back down on the too-soft mattress. How many times had she gone through this ritual tonight? How many more would it take before she’d finally be able to sink into the silent oblivion of a good night’s rest?
She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. If she didn’t settle down soon she’d be exhausted in the morning. At least, she didn’t have to go to work.
Was that a good thing? She wasn’t sure.
Yes, she’d be free to relax, maybe go into town and do a little shopping. And if she were to go to town, she’d be away from too-hot, too-attractive-for-words Bill Hays.
Avoiding Bill wasn’t her real reason for needing to go to town. She needed uniforms for work, and if she was going to stay here, she’d have to beef up her wardrobe. Her jeans and her linen suit would only work for her for so long.
She had plenty of clothes at her uncle’s house in Florida, but she wasn’t about to contact her family to send them to her; she didn’t want to talk to them for any reason.
Not yet, anyway.
If she stayed—and she knew she would—she’d have to spend more time with Bill, pretending to be in love with him. Not that it was all that hard. Pretending for Nettie’s sake was getting easier by the day. Not letting Bill know that she wasn’t sure she was really pretending was going to be the real problem.
BILL YAWNED and stretched as he lingered over his breakfast plate. He wasn’t tired. In fact, he was wide awake and ready to go. But he couldn’t go anywhere until Darcy got up.
What was wrong with her? Was she sick? Was she having one of those female days his sisters always seemed to wallow in? Usually, Darcy was the first one up.
He chuckled as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He’d heard her get up early all week while he’d lain in bed waiting for her to leave for work. He’d felt like a champion slug for doing it, too. Hell, he thought as he added milk and sugar, you’d think he didn’t get up at zero-dark-thirty every day when he was on duty.
But Darcy acted as if it were her job to wake up the roosters!
He’d heard that expression all the time, but he hadn’t really understood it until now. She was a go-getter, all right. That was one of the many things he liked about her.
Bill guessed maybe Darcy deserved to sleep late after getting up so early all week, but damn it, he wanted to see her. He lived for her smile.
That stopped him. Had he really just thought that?
He shook his head. No, he had no business thinking about her in any way other than the relationship they’d arranged. Darcy was there for his mother. That was all. She wasn’t there for him.
Even if he wanted her to be.
Bill raised his coffee mug to his lips. He hadn’t really needed another cup of coffee, nor had he wanted it. He just needed a reason to linger in the kitchen until Darcy came in. He’d had it all planned that he would take her to town, buy her lunch at the Dinner Belle Diner, and by the time they came home, they’d have dispensed with all this shy awkwardness. But, he wanted it to look like a spur-of-the-moment idea, not a calculated plan.
He grimaced at the taste of the hot coffee on a day already too warm. It would damn sure be easier to pretend to be lovers if at least they were friends. And friends was all they could be, he reminded himself.
He had a good ten more years in the air force, and maybe more time after that before he’d be in a position to care for a wife and—dare he even think it?—a family. But, in the week he’d known Darcy, he’d begun to realize what he’d deprived himself of by pushing so hard to make something of himself.
A roll in the hay from time to time with a willing partner was fine, but it wasn’t the same as having a woman who knew you and understood what you were all about and cared for you anyway. And now that Bill had begun to see what it was like to care for someone besides his family, he could see what he’d been missing. What he was not going to have for too many years.
He set his mug down, clenched his fist, then slammed it against the table. The dishes and flatware rattled and coffee sloshed out of his cup. Bill felt vaguely satisfied from venting his frustration, but it wasn’t enough.
“Remind me not to get in your w
ay in the mornings,” Darcy said, her tone dry and ironic. “I might not live to tell the tale.”
Bill jerked around, embarrassment staining his face. How had he let her sneak up on him and catch him in that one moment of bad temper?
There she was, fresh from a shower, and smelling like soap and flowers and woman, and he had shown her his worst side. Bill raised his hands in a submissive gesture and almost forgot what he wanted to say when he looked into her bright brown eyes. “I promise my bark is worse than my bite,” he said. “Usually.”
Darcy smiled. “You sure? I don’t need my head bitten off first thing in the morning.” She looked toward the stove. “Is there any coffee?”
“Yeah, plenty. I’ll get it. It’s been on the stove for a while, so it might be bitter.” He pushed himself up out of the chair, upsetting it in his eagerness. Nice move, bubba, he couldn’t help thinking. First you come on like a rabid dog, then a gawky puppy. Way to impress her!
“Thanks. I’ll risk the bitter coffee as long as it has caffeine in it.” She reached for a mug from a hook under a cabinet. “I love it when somebody else waits on me,” Darcy said as she slid into a seat across from Bill’s plate.
“I aim to serve,” Bill said as he poured. “Can I fix you some eggs?”
“Why? Are they broken?”
“What?” Bill looked at Darcy. Was she making a joke this early in the morning?
“The eggs? Were they broken?”
Bill sat down across from Darcy. He still hadn’t recovered from being caught in his fit of temper, and he was careful to avoid looking at her. What if she were laughing? “I got it, Darcy. May I prepare some eggs for you?” She must have spent too much time with Mrs. Scarborough the other night.
Darcy laughed and caught his hand.
Bill didn’t know what he liked more, the sound of her laughter, or the feel of her touch. “Yeah?” Yes, yes, yes, anything you desire, he wanted to shout.
“You don’t need to wait on me, Bill. I got up late, so I’m only going to have some cereal. Just sit with me and keep me company.” She gestured toward the seat he’d just vacated as she got up to get a bowl and cereal.
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