She wouldn’t be safe from these feelings of want and need and…what?…until he was safely back at Hurlburt Field. Darcy risked a glance over at him.
Maybe not even then.
“What’s the matter, don’t you have a snappy comeback?” Bill teased. “Good. I like it that I made you speechless.” He moved his hand then gestured toward the menu. “Go ahead. Read away.”
Darcy snatched it up before Bill could change his mind, opened it up and pretended to study it. She’d eaten here three times last week. She knew what was on the menu.
The waitress came over, a gum-chewing, slightly more shopworn version of Margaret Jean. Most of her hair was brittle blond and an inch of dingy roots showed in her over-sprayed do. “I see she made it,” she said, directing her comment to Bill. Was that resentment in her voice?
“Yes, ma’am, she finally got done with all her shopping.” Bill grinned up at the woman. “Luverne, this is my fiancée, Darcy.”
Darcy started to bristle at the introduction, but this was one time she didn’t mind Bill staking his claim on her. Not that she thought he was interested in the waitress. But, she sure could see why another woman would be interested in her Bill.
Her Bill?
When would her heart stop telling her mind what to say? She was an educated woman. A professional. She didn’t need a man. She didn’t need to be taken care of. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Tracy D’Arcy Harbeson Stanton did not need a man.
“And what would you like?” The waitress’s nasal twang interrupted Darcy’s private diatribe.
Remembering that the woman was working, even if it was Darcy’s day off, she looked up and managed an anemic smile. “I’ll have an iced tea, no sugar, and the diet plate.” Darcy closed the menu and handed it to Luverne.
She waited until the waitress had gone. “And how is it that your old friend, Luverne, didn’t know you were engaged like everybody else in this county does?” Darcy muttered.
“My old friend?” Bill looked at her, his emerald-green eyes seeming to bore through her. “What the hell is with you today? One minute you can barely make yourself look at me and the next you act like you’re jealous of a waitress. What’s it gonna be? Either you’re with me, or you’re not. Make up your mind.”
If it had been Darcy giving that speech, she might have punctuated it by leaving, but Bill was too much of a gentleman for that. He just leaned against the booth back and seemed to shut himself off from her. Retreating to his cave, Darcy supposed. And she supposed she didn’t blame him. She knew she was running hot one minute and cold the next. But, she didn’t know what to do.
She wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
This farce had been intended to be more of a business alliance than…than…what? She wasn’t supposed to develop feelings for the man.
Darcy peeled the band off the silverware bundle and toyed with it. She should apologize to him, she thought miserably, but she didn’t know how. Wasn’t it enough that she’d spilled the whole stupid story about Dick and how she wasn’t ready to get involved with another man? Did he think she owed him more?
She let out a long, tired sigh and wearily closed her eyes.
A warm hand covered hers, and Darcy couldn’t force herself to pull away. The truth was she liked the way her hand felt in his. She liked the wonderful, frightening way Bill Hays made her feel.
But, Darcy kept thinking, she shouldn’t be the least bit interested in another man. Not now. She wasn’t supposed to be ready. It was much too soon.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you, Darcy,” Bill said, his deep voice penetrating her thoughts. “I haven’t forgotten what you told me the other night.” He paused, and Darcy looked up at him, waiting for him to finish.
There was something about that statement that needed an ending. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Is there anything wrong with wanting to get to know you? After all, I am entrusting you with the care of my mother. I—” Bill stopped as Luverne approached with Darcy’s glass of tea and a refill for Bill.
The waitress set the glass down almost grudgingly then shuffled away without saying a word.
“Looks like you broke her heart,” Darcy couldn’t help teasing.
“I promise, I never saw the woman before today,” Bill said, holding up his right hand as if to swear.
“Then how’d you know her name?” she challenged. Why was she reacting like a jealous wife?
Bill rolled his eyes. “Darcy, Darcy, Darcy. If you hadn’t been so busy memorizing the menu, you would have seen she was wearing a name tag.”
“Oh.” Darcy had to laugh. And to feel a bit ashamed, as well. She seldom noticed things like name tags, and it wouldn’t have occurred to her to address the woman by name. To Bill, it seemed as natural as breathing.
No wonder she liked him so much.
“I’ll try not to come on so strong,” Bill said, only managing to make her feel worse.
That was her Billy. Genuine and true through and through.
Her Billy?
He wasn’t really hers. When had she gone from thinking of him as Bill to her Billy? She didn’t deserve a man like him.
But she wanted one.
No, she wanted him.
If he didn’t go back to Florida soon, she didn’t know how she would be able to continue to resist. Would tomorrow ever come so she could send him on his way?
Chapter Eight
He missed her already.
Bill hadn’t driven twenty miles down the road before he’d realized that his pretend engagement to Darcy felt very real. As he crossed the Alabama River and drove through Montgomery, he thought about how he had procrastinated about finding a place to stop and drop Darcy off at a motel.
How different things would be if he hadn’t.
And he wasn’t sure if it would have been a good difference or a bad one. It would be good if he weren’t being tortured by these strange feelings of need for Darcy. He had a plan, and damn it, this woman wasn’t a part of it. But, if he hadn’t nearly run over her in the dark that night, he might not have somebody to stay with Momma. Bill blew out a long breath.
Women were so confusing.
Or was it just Darcy?
No. He laughed bitterly. He was the confused one. Considering how standoffish Darcy had been, Bill was pretty sure Darcy was perfectly clear about their relationship.
He was damned if he was.
The only thing he knew was that someone he could trust was staying at home with his mother. Not only did Darcy seem to be a good person, but the fact that she was a nurse was a real bonus. He was damned lucky to have happened on her. Even if she had his guts tied in knots half the time.
But he couldn’t help thinking he was damned. Something in the back of his mind kept warning him to be careful. About what, he didn’t know.
Would he be able to forget her when he got back to base? Would returning to the hectic, busy schedule be just what he needed to get his head back on straight?
Bill could only hope that if he put in a sixteen-hour day, he’d be too tired to think about Darcy. But for now, he had to keep his eyes peeled for Darcy’s abandoned car.
He scanned the sides of the road all the way from Brewton—where they’d eaten—to the state line and he didn’t see a car matching the description Darcy had given him. That probably meant the car had been found and towed. The tow company would track Darcy down through the registration. He figured he didn’t have to worry about it any more.
DARCY COULDN’T BELIEVE how empty the house felt now that Bill was gone. She’d been so looking forward to the day he’d leave so she could be herself again. Now that it was here, she still wasn’t the Darcy she thought she was.
She kept looking at her watch and wondering just where along the road Bill was. Had he located her car? Was he safe? She was a fine mess.
Nettie was out on the swing watching the fireflies dance, so Darcy decided to join her. She loved the smell o
f the honeysuckle and even the june bugs’ whirring had become familiar and pleasant.
“What are you thinking about, Nettie?” Darcy settled down beside her and set the swing into gentle motion while she waited for the woman to answer.
Several moments passed before Nettie responded, but Darcy was in no hurry. Nettie smiled and patted Darcy’s hand. Her fingers were cool in spite of the warmth of the evening and reminded Darcy that Nettie’s time was short. Darcy closed her hand over Nettie’s and waited. Sometimes the telling was in the silences, and she knew not to push.
“I was just thinkin’ how proud I am of all my children,” Nettie said softly. “I know I didn’t have much to give them, but it does my heart good to see how far they all have come.” She squeezed Darcy’s hand and went on. “Even Lougenia’s finally getting back on her feet after Dwayne leavin’ her.”
She smiled to herself, and Darcy knew that Nettie would finish in her own sweet time. In the meantime, there were all those fireflies to watch.
“You know, Lougenia was my smart one,” Nettie said. “Always had her nose in a book. Had a scholarship to the University of Montevallo.” She shook her head. “She met Dwayne there. Did you know that?”
“No, ma’am, I didn’t,” Darcy said. She didn’t even known that Lougenia had gone to college. Much less anything at all about her ex-husband.
“He was a big ole senior and she was a freshman. He was from a rich family up yonder in Birmingham, and he just swept her off her feet. He went on to medical school, you know. Lou would have nothing else but to get married and work to put him through. She thought it was so romantic.
“But after Dwayne graduated, he’d outgrown her. Or so he said.” Nettie sighed. “Said she wasn’t up to socializing with the right kind of people. His kind of people. Told her she’d drag him down.”
Darcy started to say something, but Nettie went on. “Billy was so angry at Dwayne when he moved out that he would’ve kilt him if he’d been there. Good thing he was still out in California.” She laughed, the sound more brittle than merry. “He was furious that another Hays woman was left alone.”
“But Lougenia has skills,” Darcy protested. Lougenia hadn’t put Dwayne through medical school by working a factory job; she’d become a medical transcriptionist.
“I know that, Darcy girl. I know that Lougenia is finally coming into her own, and that Dwayne leavin’ her was probably the best thing that ever happened to her.” She smiled. “I reckon she’s happier now than she’s ever been.
“Don’t make no difference to Billy. He can’t ever forget growing up with no daddy and not having the things that other kids had.” Nettie looked out over the dark yard. “He swore when he was eighteen years old and leaving for basic training that he would never, ever put a woman in that kind of situation. He swore that he wouldn’t marry until he was sure he could provide, and he was sure that he’d love her forever.
“That’s why I’m so pleased that he found you.” Nettie patted Darcy’s hand. “I didn’t think I’d get a chance to see the woman he finally settled on. And I sure didn’t think it would happen so soon.”
Tears stung Darcy’s eyes. What could she say in response to that? She couldn’t tell this wonderful woman who had worked so hard that she hardly knew Bill. They’d only gone along with her misunderstanding so Bill would know that someone with nursing experience would be here with his mother.
Darcy didn’t know what to do. Their intentions had been good when they’d cooked up the plan, but she felt so darned guilty. She had thought it would be so simple to play along with Nettie’s assumptions, but now she could see so clearly what they were doing. How could they lead Nettie along like this?
Darcy blinked back the tears, but she couldn’t hold back a sob that had been fighting to come out. “I’m sorry,” she managed, then pushed out of the swing and rushed inside.
She hurried to the solitude of her room and slammed the door behind her, not caring how it must appear to Nettie. Darcy flung herself on the bed. How could she be a party to such a horrible deception to such a kind and gentle woman?
Clutching wads of pink chenille bedspread in her hands, Darcy cried as if she’d lost her best friend in the world. And maybe she had. Hadn’t she just realized that she’d lost her self-respect?
After a while, when she had no more tears to cry, Darcy lay in the dark in her room and tried to make sense of it. The tears might have dried, but she couldn’t stop the sobs that still wracked her body.
Sometime between a sob and a sniff, Darcy noticed a gentle tapping on her door.
“Darcy, sugar. Can I come in?”
What could she say? It was Nettie’s house. “Yes, ma’am,” she managed.
Nettie stepped inside, letting the bright light from the hall in with her. “I know it’s hard, you being so far away from our Billy, but the time’ll go fast. He’ll be back soon,” she said, her breathing labored from walking in from the swing. She lowered herself to sit on the bed beside Darcy.
The words, meant to help, were like pouring salt into Darcy’s already raw eyes.
Nettie stroked Darcy’s hair, and Darcy felt more miserable than ever. How could it be that she’d agreed to stay here to help Nettie, and Nettie was here trying to make her feel better?
How she hated that she and Billy were lying to his mother. Even if it had been for the right reasons. How she wished she and Bill could make it right.
How she wished he really were her Billy.
BILL PULLED into his designated spot in the apartment complex parking lot and looked up to the front window of his place. Used to be he liked the sound of that: his place. Seeing it gave him a sense of pride, but now it just seemed like another of the many dorms and military quarters where he’d hung his hat.
Home was that little house in Mattison. Home was where Darcy was.
And Darcy wasn’t really even his.
Ski must be home because there was a light shining in the window. Usually, Bill enjoyed his roommate, but tonight the only thing he could think about was killing the three weeks until his next scheduled visit home. To Darcy.
He collected his stuff from the cargo compartment in the rear, then locked the Jeep and headed up. Maybe Ski would be a good diversion to keep him from thinking about her. Missing her.
Bill unlocked the door and shouldered his way through. Ski was sitting in front of the television, wearing one of his obnoxious Hawaiian shirts and drinking a beer. He was watching a soccer game, a satellite feed from some foreign country, and Bill shrugged. Ski had been born in Poland and had come to this country when he was a small boy. Bill figured he could be forgiven for preferring soccer over football, but Bill didn’t get it.
He dropped his bag inside the door and headed for the refrigerator. He constructed a sandwich and grabbed a beer of his own and ambled back into the living room.
It was a commercial break, so he figured it was safe to talk. “Anything happen I should know about?” If there had been any real excitement, the first sergeant would have called him to come back. But, Ski had planned to go to Colonel Harbeson’s niece’s wedding. Maybe there was news from that.
“You know it, man,” Ski said, putting his beer down and swiveling around to look at Bill. “The wedding was exciting.”
Bill arched an eyebrow and made himself comfortable on the couch. He was just as glad that he had scheduled leave so he hadn’t had to attend. He enjoyed the looser restrictions and family atmosphere of the combat control squadron that had allowed him an open invitation to the colonel’s niece’s wedding. But, he was just as glad not to have to witness another woman give herself to a man who might not come home.
He’d met the groom, a stuck-on-himself flyboy, and he’d felt genuine compassion for the poor woman he’d hooked. But, then the women who went for those flashy pilot-types were just as phony as Dick, so maybe there was an equal match. “What happened? One of the guys from Black Team get drunk and upchuck all over the bride’s mother at the reception?�
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“If only.” Ski laughed. “The bride didn’t show. She sky-dived out the back window, wedding dress and all, and took off in her car.” Ski took a swig of his beer, and laughed again. “You should have seen the poor sucker. He drank enough at the reception—it was already paid for—to barf all over the bride’s mother.” The commercial ended and so did Ski’s report on the fiasco.
“So, Colonel Harbeson’s niece ditched the pilot,” Bill muttered to himself. “It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”
“You got that in one,” Ski agreed, without taking his eyes off the screen.
But then Bill thought about another engagement and wedding that wouldn’t come off. Of course, he wouldn’t be left standing at the altar with egg on his face as Dick had. Both he and Darcy knew that there wasn’t going to be a wedding. Still, he couldn’t help feeling maybe a little bit like Dick must feel.
Disappointed about a marriage that would never be.
THURSDAY AFTERNOON, Darcy came home to find Leah at the door, a worried look on her face. Darcy hurried past her straight to Nettie’s room. If Nettie’s granddaughter looked worried, then something was very wrong.
Darcy found Nettie propped up on a pile of pillows. Her face was ashen, and she struggled for every breath. Darcy placed her palm on Nettie’s forehead—clammy, but cool. Then she took her pulse—weak, but steady. She might not have had a coronary episode, but she was definitely ill.
Leah came in and stood quietly behind her.
“Go call Dr. Williamson and tell him we’ll meet him at the emergency room,” Darcy ordered without turning.
Nettie began to cough, and Darcy could tell by the sound exactly what the problem was: congestion in her lungs. Whether it was from her heart condition or some other illness didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she needed more medical attention than Darcy could provide.
“I…don’t…want y—” Another round of coughing wracked Nettie’s frail body, interrupting her protest.
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