Where had that come from? Did she really want to go through all that again? Or was she just clutching at straws to pacify a sick old woman?
Nettie shook her head. “I reckon you’re just as married if a judge does it as if you have all the pomp and ceremony of a big wedding. Why, me and my Raymond paid two dollars down to the courthouse and had a judge say the words. I felt just as married then as I’m sure I would have if we’d had the Pope bless us.
“It ain’t the trappin’s that count. It’s the meaning.” She glanced toward the window. “Look here. It’s almost dark. You two been here all day. You need to go home, get some rest. Think about what you really want in life. Do you want to waste money on some big dog-and-pony show, or do you want to do something that means just as much and have some money left over to start a life together?”
Hot tears scalded Darcy’s eyelids, and she blinked them back. Nettie’s sentiments had touched her. Was that why she’d fled from the chapel? Because Dick had wanted the show, and she had just wanted to be secure in the knowledge that he really loved her?
Maybe it had been with Dick, but love wasn’t the issue here. She already knew Bill didn’t love her. This was just a charade to humor a dying woman.
Why was she even thinking about love?
At least, she’d finally come to understand why she’d fled her own wedding. If any good were to come from all this, that was something.
Bill had gotten up and come around to her chair, and Darcy hadn’t noticed. Not until she felt his strong hand on her shoulder. “Come on, Darcy. Momma’s tired, and we’ve been here all day.”
He looked at his mother and smiled. “I promise, Momma, that we’ll think about it. But, it’s Friday and the courthouse is closed till Monday. It’s a big step you’re asking us to take. Let us have the weekend to think on it.”
“Done,” Nettie said with a tone of finality. “Now, y’all go home and let me get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
Darcy drew her brows together. “Tomorrow afternoon? But you’ll be all alone tomorrow.”
“Shoot, Darcy girl, there’s people a’comin’ and a’goin’ fit to beat the band. I won’t be alone, and you need rest, too.” She waved her hands in a shooing motion. “Now, git.”
“Yes ma’am, Momma sir,” Billy said, saluting smartly. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” He helped Darcy up, his hand slipping down to the curve of her waist as if it had always belonged there.
Darcy liked the feel of his hand at her waist, but she reminded herself that it wasn’t about her. She managed a tired smile. “Good night, Nettie. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Go on, you two. Git,” Nettie said.
Bill ushered Darcy toward the door, but he stopped in the open doorway. “One thing, Momma. We’d rather you didn’t tell anybody about us maybe getting married. If we do this now, I think Darcy would still like to have a big wedding where we could invite everybody later.”
“That right, Darcy?”
“Yes, ma’am. I think a lot of people would be hurt if they found out they’d been left out, so maybe it’s better we just keep our plans quiet for now,” Darcy said, a lump of emotion forming in her throat.
“I understand, I really do, and I’d purely love to be dancing at your wedding, but I’d ruther know you were happy than be able to dance a jig.”
“Yes ma’am,” Darcy said softly.
“Good night, Momma,” Bill said again, and steered Darcy through the door.
Bill was quiet, too quiet, as they made their way down the corridor to the way out. Darcy knew that meant he was thinking. She just wished she knew what it was all about.
Her future could depend on it.
Chapter Eleven
The ride home was long and silent. Bill wished they could have talked, but he wasn’t sure what to say to Darcy. He wasn’t sure what to tell himself. He needed to think. Long and hard. Even if this was only a temporary fix to ease an old woman’s heart, it was still a serious step. One he didn’t want to take lightly.
Darcy seemed to have withdrawn into her own silent world, as well. Funny, he thought. Normally, she would have tried to draw him out. She would have wanted to talk about it, examine every angle of the situation.
But, this time, she seemed too silent. That worried him. Did it mean she was seriously thinking about accepting the proposition? He certainly couldn’t call it a proposal, but proposition seemed too contrived, too…mercenary?
That’s what it was. Maybe it wasn’t for money, but there would be a payoff. If it would make his mother’s last days happy, he would do it. Even if it would hurt like hell to let Darcy go after it was all over.
Bill heaved a long low sigh as he steered onto the rutted dirt lane that led to his mother’s house.
“I know, Billy,” Darcy said as if she’d heard him thinking. “I know.”
She didn’t say what. She didn’t explain it, but Bill knew exactly what she meant. They both understood the gravity of the situation. And it gave him a warm feeling inside to think that he and Darcy were so attuned.
And though she hadn’t said it, Bill was pretty sure she was going to make the right decision.
Right for Momma anyway.
He wasn’t at all sure if it would be right for him and Darcy.
“I’M GOING to go in to Doc Williamson’s in the morning,” Darcy told Bill as they were sitting down to a late supper of sliced tomatoes and cold cuts. She didn’t wait for him to comment, but forged ahead. “He’s shorthanded with me out. It was supposed to be my turn to work Saturday, and I don’t want to make somebody else work for me when they had other plans. I wouldn’t be able to sleep late anyway.” If I get to sleep at all, she didn’t say.
It was difficult lying in bed under the same roof as Bill without wanting to go to him. He hadn’t made a secret of the fact that he was attracted to her, and if she hadn’t known it already, that stunt at her bedroom door last night had clinched it. Tonight, she would make sure her door was firmly closed before she went to bed.
“All right,” Bill said, putting his fork down. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the ladderback chair that creaked in protest. “I’ll drive in with you. You can drop me off at the hospital and I’ll bring Mom’s car home.”
Darcy looked up. She hadn’t even thought of Nettie’s car still taking up space in the hospital parking lot.
“I reckon you’ll have to come get me after work, so we can go back to the hospital together.” His mouth quirked as if he were trying to hide a smile. “You’ll have to come home and change out of your uniform, anyway.”
Darcy started to protest, but Bill stopped her, “We promised Momma we’d get some rest. If you show up in your uniform, she’ll know you didn’t.”
Bill was right, even if that smirk had turned a little too smug. “I had forgotten all about Nettie’s car,” Darcy said, unwilling though she was to admit Bill was right.
Bill shrugged. At least, he wasn’t gloating over her lapse.
They ate the rest of the meal in silence as thick and heavy as deep winter snow.
Finally, after enduring more of the strained quiet than she could stand, Darcy rose to clear the table, and Bill yawned and stretched. “I’m calling the captain and let him know what’s happening.” He shrugged, then went on. “I want to see how the night jump I was supposed to be on when Momma got sick went. And I need to check on the dates for NCO Academy. It’s a course to prepare higher-ranking non-commissioned officers for their new leadership responsibilities.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Darcy said, scraping the plates into the trash can. Neither one of them had eaten much, but at least they’d made the effort. And the cold cuts for supper tasted a great deal better than the cardboard sandwich she’d had at lunch. “There’s not much to do here, you go ahead.”
Darcy had had more than enough of Bill’s silences for one day. She had a lot to mull over, and right now all she could think about was taking a hot bath
to soak out the aches from her long days in the hospital waiting room. Then she could go to bed. She might not sleep, but at least she could lie down and hope some of the kinks from her two long days would settle out somehow.
She finished the light cleanup in the kitchen and dried her hands. As she hung the dish towel over the handle on the stove she caught a glimpse of Bill out of the corner of her eye.
He was hanging up the phone in what seemed to be slow motion, and something about it sent prickles of uneasiness down her spine. The expression on Bill’s face was blank, almost unreadable. He walked slowly toward her with the vagueness of a sleepwalker.
“What is it?” Darcy tried to temper the panic she felt, but the expression on his face was frightening. “Is it your mother?” Had call waiting clicked in while he was talking? Was it bad news?
Bill shook his head, still showing that dazed, slow-motion effect. “No,” he said, his voice strained, strange. “My roommate and another guy almost bought the farm the other night,” he said, as he sagged against the doorjamb, a look of stunned disbelief on his face.
Darcy covered her mouth to stifle her gasp of shock. “They bought the farm?” Went in and bought the farm were paratrooper euphemisms for being killed when a parachute didn’t open or when a parachute jump went disastrously bad.
“They’re alive. Block’s gonna be okay, he just screwed his leg into the ground, but Ski’s critical.
“Back injury,” he said, then he balled his hand into a fist and slammed it against the wall. “They don’t know if he’ll walk again. If I’d been there, maybe I could have done something.”
“Ski is your roommate?” Funny, Darcy thought. She ought to know that. But then, Bill probably hadn’t told Ski about her, either.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “I called the apartment before I called the captain. Ski didn’t answer, and I just assumed he was whooping it up at some bar somewhere with a girl on each arm.” He drew in a long deep breath. “I left a rude message on the machine for him.”
Darcy reached for him, but drew her hand back. She wanted to attend to his hand which surely hurt, and wanted to comfort him. If it were her, she’d need a shoulder, and she sensed that Bill did, too, but she didn’t know how he’d take the gesture. “I’m sure he’d understand,” Darcy finally said.
Bill closed his eyes as if shutting them would shut off the recriminations that must be running through his mind. “He’ll never hear it. Thank God,” he said. “I will definitely erase it as soon as I get back.”
He reached for Darcy and drew her to him. “Damn,” he said. “Can things get any worse?” He tucked her close to him and kissed the top of her head. “My God, Darcy. I was supposed to be on that plane. I was supposed to jump that night, but…but that’s when I got the call about Momma. It could have been me.”
Darcy stepped out of his embrace and looked up into his clouded green eyes. “Now listen here, William Hays, that has nothing to do with you. You’re here where you’re needed. Where you belong. Don’t you go thinking you could have prevented it if you’d been there. You don’t even know what happened. Don’t go blaming yourself for something you had no control over.”
Bill managed half a smile. “Yes ma’am, Darcy sir. I reckon you’re right, but still. I wish I could have been there. Hell, I just wish I knew the whole story.”
“It’s hard to sit around and not know the details,” Darcy said, trying to be comforting. “But you are needed here. Focus on that.”
“Yeah. I suppose you’re right,” Bill said. He heaved a big sigh, then pushed away. “I think I’ll go for a run.”
Darcy stood there as Bill went to his room to change into his running clothes and wondered if she should try to talk him out of it. She didn’t like the idea of him out there alone in the dark, but she shook her uneasy feeling away. That wasn’t a congested city road out there. Traffic was light and most of the time non-existent. She bit her lip to keep from saying anything.
Bill returned in short order, wearing running shorts and shoes and nothing else.
Darcy’s breath caught in her throat. Every time she saw another layer of clothing peeled away from him, she wanted him more.
“Don’t wait up,” Bill said, then he pushed the screen door open and disappeared into the night.
THE RUN DID the trick. He’d gone all the way up the hill to Parson’s Corner then walked the downhill stretch back. It must have been four miles to the top, but it had achieved what he’d been looking for. Release.
He’d been bottling up all his frustrations for too damned long. When he’d gotten to the top, he’d stood in the churchyard at the top of the hill and shouted out his anger, safe in the knowledge that no one would hear him.
Exhausted, he stumbled on the loose gravel at the end of the lane, but caught himself with his hands when he fell. Picking the dirt and gravel out of his palms, scraped and raw, he felt vaguely satisfied. He was alive. His hands hurt like hell, but he was alive. Maybe that was what all these trials were meant to show him.
They were supposed to tell him to stop putting his life on hold while he waited for everything to be perfect. Look what had happened to Momma. Look what had happened to Ski!
And, at least Momma had lived a full and happy life. She’d loved and lost and raised a family that loved her back. That was something to be proud of. She and Daddy hadn’t sat around and waited for everything to be perfect, they’d reached for the brass ring and caught it, even if life hadn’t quite been the tall cotton they might have dreamed about.
What would he have to show for it if he died tomorrow? Nothing. Not a damned thing.
He trudged up the steps onto the porch and sank onto the swing. He was still hot and sticky, and he needed to cool off before he stepped inside.
He would convince Darcy to marry him. He had to. That decision made, he got off the swing and went inside. Maybe Darcy would want to stay married once it was over; maybe she wouldn’t. All he knew was that he was certain that this marriage was meant to be. For better or worse.
Darcy had already gone to bed by the time he stepped inside, so he didn’t bother her. He’d have all weekend to work on her, to convince her to be his wife. After all, they couldn’t get married until Monday anyway.
He showered quickly, then went to bed. He figured he wouldn’t sleep, and that didn’t bother him. He had plans to make.
As he tried to figure out the next step in his attempt to win Darcy over, he drifted to sleep, wondering….
DARCY DROVE BACK to the house after putting in her half day in Doctor Williamson’s office. It had surprised her that the man still closed on Wednesday afternoons and stayed open on Saturday mornings when most doctors now tried to work only four days a week. But then, after going to school in urban North Carolina, working in Pittsville seemed like stepping into the past.
She hadn’t spoken much to Billy this morning. He seemed to have something on his mind, and had answered in moody monosyllables. Of course, that was a no-brainer. He was still thinking about his mother’s request to see him married before she…. And if that wasn’t enough, he had to be worried about his friends back in Florida.
Darcy shook her head as she slowed down for a cow in the road. She hated to think about Nettie dying, but she had to face it. Bill’s mother was going to die. And soon, if her frank talk with Doctor Williamson this morning meant anything. He’d taken her aside and told her without any of the sidestepping and whitewashing he’d done for the rest of the family just what Nettie’s condition was.
Bill’s mother’s time on this earth was limited. If Nettie experienced another episode like the one she’d just gotten through, it wasn’t likely that she’d recover. Or she could just not wake up some morning.
The thought was sobering, but Darcy was glad to know. Not that she hadn’t already understood that reality somewhere in the back of her mind. She’d come to love the woman. Darcy hated that their time together was destined to be so short, but she was glad that their paths had cro
ssed so that she could ease Nettie’s final days.
But she still wasn’t sure she could marry Nettie’s son. She wanted to make Nettie happy, but Darcy was already bothered enough about lying about being engaged to Bill. It wouldn’t be any easier to go through the motions of a marriage that wasn’t intended to be permanent or real.
Even if she did wish it would be.
That stopped her. Did she really?
Would it make a difference if she had any inkling at all that Bill might have some feelings for her? Feelings other than those of a healthy young man in close proximity to a woman for too long. Darcy sighed.
Kissing Bill had been more than she ever would have imagined a kiss could be. More than she’d ever felt with Dick. But was this electricity, this spark, this magnetic attraction love? Or was it just hormones and chemistry?
If Bill would just give her some little sign that he cared about her more than just as a means to make his mother happy, the decision might be easy. Well, easier. There was no way this situation was ever going to be easy.
And could she do it?
After all, she had left a man she’d known forever at the altar. Did she really think she could go through the motions with a man she barely knew?
She pulled into the drive and looked ahead to see Billy swinging idly in the glider on the front porch. Her breath caught in her throat.
After last night, she knew Bill better. She was beginning to get an idea about what made him tick. But she still didn’t think she knew him well enough to marry him. Even if the marriage had an escape hatch built in.
She parked by the shed and turned off the engine. Bill had come down off the porch and waited for her in the yard. Darcy liked that, but she couldn’t help wondering why?
“Lunch is ready. Do you want to change first or eat?” Bill announced as Darcy stepped out of the car. He offered her his arm, and escorted her up the steps.
Bill’s odd behavior had her wondering, but Darcy decided to enjoy it, nonetheless. “Let’s eat first. I’m hungry.” What she didn’t say was that just being close to Bill made her hungry, and not for food.
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