She’d thought she’d heard his footfall in the hall outside her door, but she must have been mistaken. If he had really wanted her, he would have found a way to make her his. Instead, he’d probably slept like a baby in his childhood bed just across the hall.
So near, but so far.
Yawning and stretching, Billy stumbled in, scratching his chest and looking as if he’d been out carousing with his buddies instead of sleeping just across the hall. Had his night been as restless as hers?
Darcy tried not to hope. After all, he could have been sleepless because the notion of marriage, even one as sterile as theirs was supposed to be, terrified him. Maybe he didn’t want her but wanted out. As quickly as possible.
The one shred of hope that she’d been clinging to fluttered away on the summer breeze.
Well, she couldn’t give him his out. Not yet. After all, they’d married for Nettie, but she could make it easier for him to get away today. There was no sense in her making him hang around here when he was, apparently, miserable.
She drew a deep breath and forced a bright smile. “Did you sleep well?” Obviously, he hadn’t, but Darcy was determined to be pleasant.
“Yeah,” he muttered, his voice gravelly and thick as he poured himself a mug of coffee.
“Your mother called already,” Darcy continued brightly. “She’ll be discharged as soon as we can go to get her.”
“Good,” Billy grumbled over the rim of his mug. His lids appeared puffy, and his eyes were a roadmap. “I’ll go get her as soon as I’ve eaten and showered.”
Darcy swallowed a sob and turned back to the stove. It was worse than she’d expected. He didn’t even want her to go with him to pick up Nettie. It didn’t take a scientist to tell her he couldn’t wait to get away. She swallowed again. “I think Nettie would expect us to come together,” she said, pouring off the grease. She added the eggs she’d already beaten and listened to them sizzle as they hit the hot pan. “It being our honeymoon and all,” she added.
“Yeah, our honeymoon,” Billy said, and Darcy tried to interpret his meaning as she stirred the eggs.
“I’ve already showered,” she said quietly, hoping not to show her hurt as she turned the cooked eggs onto plates. “I’ll be ready to go by the time you are.” Then she set the plates on the table, sat and tried to force herself to eat.
It was going to be a long day, and she needed all the strength she could get to make it through.
“DO YOU THINK you should leave Momma at home by herself all day while you go to work tomorrow?” Bill asked Darcy after they’d seen Momma safely into her bed. He hated to suggest that Darcy quit her job so soon, but he didn’t want his mother to be left alone, either. He held the screen door open as they walked out to the porch.
“I think I’ve got that covered,” Darcy said, settling into the porch swing. “Earline told me that Leah thinks she can deal with it. She’s free to be here all day. She can even sleep over sometimes so Earline doesn’t have to bring her here every day.
Bill took his position at the porch rail. He propped his elbows against the rail, leaned back and crossed his feet at the ankle. He’d come to think of the porch as safe territory. Neutral. As long as he didn’t sit next to Darcy on the swing.
That would be too close.
He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her if he was close enough to smell her perfume.
“What if Momma…needs help?” he finally said, trying not to think about what he’d started to say. “Will Leah be able to handle it?”
Darcy leaned back on the swing, and gave it a good push with her foot. “I’ve already arranged to take the rest of the week off, and I’ll give her a crash course in what to look for.” She paused for a moment, seeming to enjoy the swaying of the swing, then she continued. “Let’s face it, Bill. Even if I were here, there would be nothing I could really do but get her to the hospital.
“If I put Leah in charge and instruct her not to let Nettie talk her out of calling for help as she did last time, she’ll be fine.” Darcy put down her foot and stopped the swing from undulating. “More than anything, your mother needs Leah to make sure she takes her meds, to make sure she eats, and to keep her company. Leah’s a bright girl. She can do that as well as I can.”
Bill chuckled, remembering the way Leah had learned to wrap him around her little finger by the time she was a year old. “Yeah, I reckon she can, at that.”
He pushed himself away from the porch rail and heaved a big sigh. “I have to go,” he said reluctantly. “I’ve got a class tonight, and I already missed it last week because of the night jump. It’ll be a bear to make up if I miss too many.”
“Yes, I suppose so,” Darcy said, pushing the swing back, then springing out of it as it swung forward. “Do you have time for lunch before you go?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said with false cheer. He might not miss lunch, but he’d definitely miss Darcy when he got back to Florida.
THOUGH THE DOCTOR had recommended bed rest for a few days, Nettie had insisted on coming out to the porch swing and watching the fireflies.
“I do love settin’ out here this time of the day and reflectin’ on what the day brung,” Nettie said, her voice weaker than it had been prior to her recent illness. “I surely did miss watching the night come in when I was stuck down there in the hospital. A person needs to be outside in the fresh air to breathe.”
Darcy set the swing into motion, but didn’t respond to Nettie’s comment. What could she say? After all, she agreed with her sentiments. Nettie might have limited time left, but she certainly wasn’t wasting it feeling sorry for herself. Darcy hoped that when it was her time to go she would face it with the same dignity as Nettie.
“Reckon our Billy will call us tonight to let us know he got there safe?”
Darcy loved the way Nettie had taken to calling Bill “our Billy.” It wasn’t really accurate, but it was sweet. Billy might be Nettie’s, but he wasn’t hers. “I don’t know. He said he had a class tonight, so he might not call because he wouldn’t want to wake you.”
“Psh. I can sleep through anything these days. Once I get to sleep. I reckon if he calls to talk to his bride, it won’t bother me if I don’t get to speak to him.”
Darcy swallowed and blinked back a tear. If Nettie only knew the truth.
“Now, you know our Billy would be here if he didn’t have to go back to his base and get ready for that Sergeant’s Academy or whatever it is. And even if you could have gone with him, he wouldn’t have much time for you until it’s over,” Nettie said, trying to be soothing.
Darcy choked back a sob.
It would be weeks before Billy would be able to come home. An early slot for NCO Academy had opened up, and he couldn’t afford to let it slip away. Once the class started next week, he’d surely be too busy to call. So, maybe she’d be able to get back to her regular routine—whatever that was—and pretend…. What? That they had a future together as husband and wife?
“Now, now, Darcy girl. It’ll be over soon. Then you and Billy can start your life together, and you won’t have to worry about me.” Nettie worked her arm around Darcy’s shoulders and drew her near.
That gentle hug was almost more than Darcy could bear. Nettie was waiting to die, and all the woman could think about was her and Billy’s happiness. She let all her misery and sadness go and wept in Nettie’s arms.
She was so glad that Nettie couldn’t possibly know why.
Finally, she cried herself out.
“Are you going to be all right now, Darcy?” Nettie patted her lightly on the shoulder, her weathered face a mask of concern in the yellow porch light.
Darcy nodded, her grasp on control too fragile to allow her to speak.
“Then I’ll just go on to bed now.” Nettie pushed herself up out of the porch swing. Smiling, she caressed Darcy’s cheek. “It’ll all work out, Darcy girl. What’s meant to be will happen.” Then Nettie slowly made her way back inside, leaving Darcy alo
ne with the night.
BILL CAME IN from PT and his morning run in a sour mood, and it wasn’t because of a bad workout. That had been happening too often lately, and it didn’t take a degree in psychology to figure out why. He struggled with the combination of his gym locker and when it wouldn’t open, slammed the metal door with his fist and muttered a pungent curse.
“Hell, boy, if you was a married man, I’d say you wasn’t gettin’ any,” Runt Haggarty commented from the locker next to Bill’s.
Clenching his towel tightly with his fist to keep from smashing Runt right in his smug face, Bill gritted his teeth and pretended he hadn’t heard and worked at opening the lock. But, he had heard. And if Runt only knew how close to the truth he was.
He chuckled bitterly. Hell, he was a married man. And he damned sure wasn’t getting any. That was as much the problem as anything. The only problem bigger was that he wasn’t sure he ever would.
He’d made a promise to Darcy. And it hadn’t been to have and to hold forever. Only to make his mother happy.
Well, damn it. He wasn’t happy. And he wouldn’t ever be. Not as long as Darcy was two hundred miles away pretending to be single, and he was here doing the same.
He was going to have to come up with a way to convince Darcy to give him a chance. But, damn it, he couldn’t do it from here.
And he couldn’t go home.
Not until after he’d completed NCO Academy. And that didn’t start till Monday and wouldn’t end for four long weeks.
But maybe he could do something to get Darcy to see how he felt about her. He’d call her. Tonight. Every night. Hell, he’d send her flowers. He’d do everything he could think of to show her how he felt.
To show her that he loved her.
THE PHONE RANG and Darcy knew without answering that it was Billy. He’d taken to calling every night and inquiring about her day. Both she and Nettie looked forward to their nightly talks. She dried her hands and reached for the phone on the kitchen wall.
Pasting on a smile he couldn’t see, but Darcy knew Billy could hear, she answered.
“Yes, she’s fine. She still hasn’t regained her strength, but her attitude’s good.” What else could she say? They both knew that Nettie wasn’t getting better.
Though they never said anything intimate, Darcy looked forward to chatting, to hearing his rich, masculine voice. Hearing it every night was the cherry on top of her day.
She’d asked about Ski and Block, the men who had been injured in the night jump. He told her that Block would make a full recovery, but Ski’s progress had been slow. Ski was expected to walk again, but he’d never be the active, athletic man he’d been.
Finally they ran out of things to say. “Yes, she’s out in the swing. I’ll take the phone out to her.”
She carried the cordless phone outside, stopping to sniff at the vase of yellow roses on the end table next to the sofa as she passed. She left the phone with Nettie and went back inside. Darcy let Nettie think that they’d shared their sweet nothings. It was the only way.
When she finished the dishes, she went out to the porch as was her habit and settled next to Nettie, who was staring off into the evening. The phone was turned off and rested in Nettie’s lap.
“Did Billy say how he was enjoying his training course?” Translation: did he ask about me?
Nettie shrugged. “He didn’t say too much. Said he’d be glad when it was over. He’s anxious to get back to you.”
Darcy’s breath caught. “Did he really say that?” she asked, too eagerly.
“Well, not in those words, but I could tell that’s what he meant,” Nettie said. “I reckon you two spend too much time with I love yous to talk about much else.”
Darcy blushed. If Nettie only knew.
She’d gotten to know Billy much better through their nightly chats. But the word love never came up, though she strained to hear it, if only between the lines. Darcy swallowed a lump of disappointment, but she managed to smile at Nettie.
“I reckon I’ll just go on to bed. I do declare I get so tired these days.” She patted Darcy’s hand and Darcy couldn’t help noticing how cool Nettie’s fingers were in spite of the warm summer night.
“Do you need any help?”
“No, hon. I’ll be fine.” Nettie squeezed Darcy in a weak hug, then pushed herself out of the swing. She smiled. “We’ll finish our story in the morning. I’m just too sleepy tonight.”
Darcy squeezed back. “Don’t worry, Nettie. I’ll keep after you until I’ve heard every word of the Hays family history.” She loved the tales of Nettie’s youth and how she and Raymond had fallen in love and struggled to work the farm.
“You are goin’ to be so good for our Billy,” Nettie said. “He needs you, you know?”
Darcy just smiled, sadly, she supposed. Nettie might think Billy needed her, but Darcy knew the truth. If only she didn’t.
BILL LAY BACK in his lumpy bunk and tried to sleep. It seemed so stupid to him that he had to stay here when he had a perfectly good apartment in Fort Walton Beach. But, rules were rules, and regs were even worse. The regs said you attended NCO Academy in residence, and it didn’t matter whether you lived across country or across town.
He just wished he were home.
And he didn’t mean the apartment on the other side of town.
The only thing that was keeping him going was that he had his dreams. Dreams where he and Darcy were married and happy, and the marriage was real.
He punched his pillow and wadded it up and wrapped his arms around it. It wasn’t the same as holding a real, breathing woman—Darcy—but until he could make her his it was the best he could do.
DARCY HAD OVERSLEPT, trying to cling to a few extra moments of a wonderful dream about how it could be for her and Billy if…And now she was running late.
To make matters worse, Earline had called to say that she and Leah would be late, too. The only saving grace in all this was that after Darcy had slept through an entire hour of morning chatter from the clock radio, Earline had called and that was what had woken her up.
She hurried toward the bathroom, pausing in flight to knock on Nettie’s closed door. “Nettie, I’m running late. Are you up?”
“I’m awake, sugar,” Nettie answered. “I just seem to be having a hard time getting moving this morning.”
“I hear ya’,” Darcy called back. She smiled grimly. Apparently, that particular bug was contagious. Seemed like everybody was suffering from it this morning. “I’m just going to take a quick shower, and then I’ll get your meds and start breakfast.”
Nettie didn’t respond, but no response was necessary, so Darcy hurried into the shower. She showered quickly and dressed in record time. One good thing about wearing a uniform to work, she thought as she slipped into her white slacks: there was no need to stare into the closet trying to figure out what to wear.
She swiped at the cloudy mirror until she’d cleared a small patch of fog and made quick work of combing her hair. She was grateful for her simple short do that made getting ready easy. Most of the time she was envious of women with lovely, styled hair, who always looked as if they’d just stepped out of the beauty parlor, but not on mornings like this.
Maybe, if she’d let it grow out a little, change the color, try a little curl, Billy might look at her as someone other than his mother’s caretaker.
That thought made her laugh. Billy probably had his pick of any number of squared-away military women, not to mention stylish secretaries, bar girls and every other woman he passed on the street.
“Get a grip, Stanton,” she muttered to herself as she stepped out into the cooler, dryer air of the hall. She didn’t have time for a pity-fest this morning. She had to get Nettie ready for the day. Then she had to get to work.
People were counting on her.
She dashed into the kitchen to make Nettie’s oatmeal. While the water boiled she poured a mug of coffee, doctored it, and took a sip. Finally! Now, she felt human.
There was no time for bacon and eggs today, so she popped a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster and grabbed a processed cheese slice from the fridge. She could eat a toasted cheese sandwich on the way, and maybe she’d get to work on time, in spite of spending too much time lying in bed clinging to a dream that she was realistic enough to know wasn’t likely to ever come true.
Still, she thought, smiling to herself. It had been a very nice dream.
Too bad she didn’t have all morning to think about it.
The water boiled and she added the rolled oats and stirred quickly to keep them from boiling over. If she had a little more time, she wouldn’t mind having some herself. But once she had Nettie up and had doled out her meds, Darcy had to go.
“Nettie?” she called after she realized that Nettie hadn’t made her usual prompt appearance in the kitchen. “Breakfast is served.”
Darcy peeled the plastic off a slice of cheese and placed it between the two pieces of toast she’d plucked from the toaster. She took a bite while she waited.
She swallowed her dry sandwich, took a swig of coffee to wash it down, then hurried down the hall. She guessed she was going to have to light a fire under Nettie this morning, something she’d never had to do before.
“Come on, Nettie,” she called as she hurried down the hall. “You’re holding me up.” She glanced at her watch. “Fudge,” she murmured. Later than she thought. “Let’s move it. I’ve got to go,” she called as she rapped lightly on the door.
There was still no response from inside the room.
None at all.
“Nettie?” Darcy called softly, a wave of panic surging through her. She knocked again. Louder this time.
“Are you up?” The bathroom was empty, so Nettie couldn’t be in there. Darcy tried calling one more time. “Come on, sleepyhead. It’s time to get up.”
Still no response, and it worried her.
Darcy pushed the door open and it glided silently inward as if pointing to the woman lying in the bed.
Nettie lay there, eyes closed as if asleep, peaceful as could be, her worn features softened and smoothed in repose. Darcy registered a short glimpse of the beautiful, young girl who had once loved a boy named Raymond and had worked so hard to make a go of this farm.
Sgt. Billy's Bride Page 18
