He turns to face me. “How are you feeling?”
“Well, I’m guessing that I failed the second test. So, not the best.”
Tobias smiles somberly. “I’m glad that you’re still you, Raven. I have to give you credit—you’re strong. But, yes, you failed the test.”
“Who was that down there?”
“That’s Joe.”
“That thing’s name is Joe?” Are you kidding me?
“The one who can get you immunity to the sphere.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He said he’s willing to give you another shot, but not in the shape you’re in now. I have to train you first.”
He’s right. I’ve faced a lot of dangerous foes. But nothing as formidable as what lies in the bowels of this mountain. I’d rather face ten Garrens than allow that nut job back in my head. “I guess you have a plan?”
“Are you finally ready to listen?”
Do I have a choice? “Degrees of oneness?”
Tobias smiles and nods, excitement brewing in his eyes.
I groan weakly. This is definitely going to take longer than a week.
“I promise you it’s the only way. And you might actually learn something about yourself.”
I doubt that very much. But what else am I going to do?
“Fuck it, let’s do this,” I reply, my tone determined.
Tobias raises his fist into the air triumphantly. “Yes, that’s the spirit. We’ll fuck it!” As an afterthought, he asks, “What does fuck mean?”
I stifle a laugh and cover my smile. “Sorry, Tobias. It’s a curse word. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
He waves his finger at me. “Rule number one—no more cursing.”
No cursing? How the fuck am I going to manage that?
22
The Dark Side
Throughout the next week, I wash five times a day, say chants and prayers every hour on the hour, meditate in strange, uncomfortable positions, and learn some Mythosian history. Part of that history includes the mysterious Joe, the mind scrambler. Apparantly, he doesn’t age.
I also have to ask for forgiveness, for what Tobias called my transgressions, to a large silver statue of a man in robes. Then he teaches me Dit li’, a form of defense similar to what my dad taught me when I was a kid. That part, I liked. After those chores that are supposed to bring me closer to the degrees of oneness, or as Tobias explained, be the best human one can be, I burn more bodies. Once Tobias decides that I’ve reached the full degrees of oneness, I’ll be ready to face Joe and attain immunity to the sphere.
Or I’ll die from exhaustion.
Although, if I’m being honest, I am more at peace than I have been in a long time. I run into trouble when I think about my family. Deep down, I can’t squash the idea that I don’t deserve forgiveness. But, for Emery, I will keep trying.
Tobias is with me almost all the time. He says that practicing the degrees is good for him too. He works hard right alongside me, atoning for his offenses against not only his brother but all his people. He’s also my liaison to the outside world. As part of my training, I’m not allowed any communications. But Tobias has relayed that we still have time.
The Cadmarians, as Garren promised, are planning a takeover of Verta Moon and the Mahthe. My stomach clenches remembering what I now think of as my ship sitting on the moon unaware. Hang in there, SANDY. Also, according to Tobias, there has been no word from Cole. That isn’t surprising though. For all I know, he’s cut and run.
Thinking ill of others goes against the purpose of the degrees. So instead of thinking about Cole at all, I put him out of my mind and concentrate on my favorite part of my training—Dit li’.
All Mythosians are taught the defensive art as children, and Tobias is no exception. He’s been practicing his whole life, and he’s quite the fighter. He knocks me on my ass, I mean rear, on more than one occasion. But I’m a quick study, and soon I’m knocking him on his.
“How are you?” he asks, stretching after a two-hour session of Dit li’.
I stare up at the dim skyline. It takes some getting used to—being in twilight all the time. “I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in a long time.”
He stretches his arms over his head. “Me too. Ready to hear what’s in store next?”
I bend my body in half, stretching my legs and back. “If you’re talking about finally clueing me in on how I graduate from these degrees and get Joe…” I still have trouble saying his name. It sounds so ridiculous. But Tobias said he had an affinity for ancient names from Earth. Go figure. “…to give me immunity, then yes.”
“Joe’s actually not that bad when you get to know him. Although, he’s a little quirky and temperamental.”
I sit up and narrow my eyes at Tobias. “Quirky? Temperamental? Someone who is immune to the sphere, who never ages, who can shuffle through people’s heads like a deck of cards, who has lived so long he’s lost some of his marbles and lives in a basement. Could that have anything to do with his mood?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“Seriously? He basically melted some of my brain.”
Tobias laughs. “Okay, I can’t deny that. But you did go down there unprepared without the degrees of oneness and topped it off with attitude. Just saying.”
I smile. Point taken. Tobias has grown on me, goofy grin and all. He doesn’t pull punches, and I like that. And he doesn’t hide his flaws or pretend to be someone he’s not.
“So what’s with the cage?”
“Cage?” Tobias asks. “Ah, you mean down in the vault. That would be one of Joe’s illusions. He can make those who are weak-minded see what he wants them to.”
I inhale sharply. “I’m sorry, but did you just call me weak-minded?”
“Oh, sorry, not anymore. You’re doing much better.”
I narrow my eyes. This guy… “So Joe isn’t locked up?”
“No, of course not. He likes it down there and rarely comes to the surface. My brother, Artis, was in charge of tending to him. Now I guess I’ll do it.”
I remember his glowing eyes and shiver. “You do get that he’s not really human, right?”
Tobias glances up at the sky to roll his eyes, a smirk on his lips. “Oh, wow. Impressive. You’re brilliant.”
Not bad. My Zetian sarcasm rolled off his tongue like a native. “Yeah, yeah, smarty-pants. So, what’s next?”
The mirth leaves Tobias’s eyes. “You’re ready for your final test. Are you afraid of the dark?”
The fine hairs on my arms tingle. “No.”
“Good, because you’re going to the dark side of Mythos.”
Dark side of the planet? Yay, lucky me. “And what will I do over there?”
“The shroud of darkness removes all other stimuli, allowing you to focus on oneness.”
“In simple terms, please?”
“You must face your fears and leave them behind.”
Face my fears? My heart skips a few beats. I have to be in the dark with the sole purpose of facing my past—my family. I lick my dry lips. That does scare me. “For how long?”
“As long as it takes. You’ll know when to return.”
I rub my sweaty hands on my thighs, hoping my voice doesn’t sound as shaky as my resolve to see these degrees all the way through. “So I’m going alone then?”
“Yes, I’d only distract you from your purpose.”
I nod and swallow hard. Come on, Raven, you can do this.
As if sensing my trepidation, Tobias stands and reaches for my hand. “You’re ready, Raven. I have complete faith in you.”
I look up at him, and for the first time in a long while, I readily extend mine and allow him to pull me to my feet. “Really? Because I don’t. Seriously, I don’t think this is a good idea. I—”
Tobias grasps my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Yes, it is. You know what you have to do. All that is left is for you to accept it.”
I inhale sharply, in awe of his strength. Even after all he’s been through—being disowned by his family and the last of his kind—he’s here helping me, an outsider. And he’s right. “Okay. I’ll go.”
He smiles down at me. “Good. While you’re gone, I’ll send off the last of the crafter bodies.”
We must have burned hundreds of bodies since we got here. While I’m completely desensitized to the pyres of Mythos now, I could use a break.
I take one last deep breath, steeling my nerve. “All right, dark side, here I come.”
That evening, Tobias takes me to the dark side of the planet by hovercraft. Their hovercrafts are like the ones we have on Zeta but modified for the dark terrain. There are two seats in the front of the vehicle and two in the back. In the front is storage space, and the engine is behind the back seats. It uses a propulsion system just like the ones I’m used to, but the one thing I haven’t seen before are the intense floodlights on the front of the craft. They are the brightest I’ve seen.
We speed along as the red star finally disappears beyond the horizon. Without the lights from the hovercraft and advanced navigation system, we would be in complete blackness, lost. Along the way, the terrain changes. It’s becoming more barren—the plant life is scarce and sheets of ice glisten in front of our vehicle. The temperature drops too. I lift the collar of the special dark suit Tobias gave me to wear. I also have head gear, able to withstand the impossibly cold temperatures on the dark side.
Ten kilometers into the darkness, Tobias slows the vehicle to a stop as he double-checks the coordinates. He grasps my shoulder. “Ready?”
I glance back at my bag filled with supplies and shelter and shrug. My thoughts drift to Emery and the faith he had in me. I inhale deeply, determination taking root in my belly. “I don’t think anyone could ever be ready to be stranded on the dark side of a planet, but I’m willing to do what it takes to see this through.”
“Remember your degrees. They will help you through this.” Tobias reaches for my forearm in the same manner as Emery when we first met.
My chest tightens, and I do my best to swallow the lump in my throat. “Thanks.”
I grasp his forearm in kind before I hop down from the hovercraft, my bag over my shoulder.
“Give your eyes some time to adjust and trust your other senses,” Tobias says. “I’ll be waiting for you when you return. Good luck.”
The hovercraft loops around and speeds back the way it came. The light recedes, turns into a small dot on the horizon and finally, nothing at all. Only darkness.
Unable to see, I turn around and around. The air is cold on my cheeks, and compared to the center of the planet, there’s no scent here—sterile. I tremble, not from cold, but from the task at hand.
Face my fears. Deep down, I wonder if I can.
I bend down and touch the ground. Slick and smooth. Ice. The wind whips up, and I shiver even though I’m still warm in my suit. Time to find an area that isn’t covered in ice to set up shelter. I close my eyes and shuffle my feet across the ice, my arms extended so I don’t run into anything. Tobias said that only a few plants survive here on the dark side but they are not edible. Occasionally a few predators that live in the mountain ranges in the Ring wander over here, but they can’t survive long.
Yeah, I think exposure to the elements will be my biggest concern. I have enough food staples to last me a week, if necessary. Please don’t let it be that long.
My eyes finally acclimate to the darkness, and I locate a slope that isn’t covered in ice. I head for it and climb the small hill. On top is a plateau perfect for a campsite. I drop my large duffle bag and reach inside for the smart shelter. Thankfully, the shelter is rapid deployment. After it expands, I slip inside with the rest of my supplies and unfold my bedroll.
I spend the rest of the day meditating and practicing Dit li’. Afterward, I eat some instant soup and settle myself inside my bedroll. While I lie there, waiting for sleep to come, I consider whether I’m cut out to be Mythosian.
They had an interesting life, I’ll give them that. I mean, they lived communally, in constant twilight, and they protected an incredibility powerful weapon. Not to mention that the clerics on Mythos exhibited special abilities like Emery, who was a mental healer. Tobias said that was how a cleric was chosen from the population. A Mythosian child would exhibit an ability by five or six, and they would be moved to the monastery and granted an overseer to help in training.
My thoughts drift to my father and the training I received from him when I was a kid. Like Mythosians, my family had special abilities too. His words resonate in my mind: You have a gift, Raven. You sense things that most can’t. You will do great things in your life that will make me proud.
The memories of my past mix with the darkness. Tears prick at my eyes, and I hunker down inside my bedroll, my shoulders trembling. Left with only my thoughts of the past, my heart aches. I never allow myself to think about my family. Only in my dreams, when I don’t have control, do they emerge. I drift off to sleep, tears slipping down my cheeks as I mourn my dad’s words.
Sometime later, someone nudges my shoulder. Hey, Raven, wake up.
“Emery? Is that you?” I ask sleepily into the darkness.
Yes. I’m here. Open your eyes.
I peek out from my bedroll and sit up. An ethereal Emery is sitting in front of me, legs crossed in his meditative position. I reach for his hand. “How are you here?”
Emery closes his hands around mine as his strength exudes out of him, fortifying me. You did promise to dream of me, remember?
I smile. I did promise, didn’t I? “I miss you so much. I don’t know what to do. I can’t let go of my past.”
Then don’t let go. That’s what you said to me once. You want to remember. What you must do is face your fear head on. That would make your father proud.
I cover my mouth and swallow hard, tears filling my eyes again. It’s what my dad used to say to me. Face your fear head on. “How do you know that?”
The same way you do. Emery touches my temple with two fingers, and I close my eyes, leaning into his comforting contact.
“Stay with me, Emery. I need you.”
Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you need me.
I sigh as my mind clears, and tranquility settles over my body. I open my eyes, and he’s gone. There is only darkness. I lay back down, settling in once more.
Okay, Emery. I’ll do my best.
I’ve spent plenty of time alone over the last few years. Each time I stole something that someone missed enough to retrieve, I had to lay low. But there’s a big difference between hiding on a ship with plenty of tech to entertain oneself and this place. Here, there’s nothing. Here, the shroud of darkness accentuates solitude and it’s effecting my mind. I see my family everywhere there’s no light. They haunt me in my dreams and in my waking hours.
Each time, I clamp my eyes shut until they are gone. I’m not ready.
A week passes. It’s morning, if you can call it morning, the lack of light still strange. My eyes have adjusted as best they can to the dark, but it’s still disorienting. Thankfully, I have a timepiece to keep track of the time and day. I emerge from my shelter to find that even on the dark side of Mythos, the wind still howls and the chalky clay ground not covered in ice still kicks up dust that coats everything in its path.
Today, instead of staying close to camp, I’ll explore more of the terrain surrounding my encampment. I attach a retractable cord to my suit and connect the other end to the shelter so I don’t get lost in the dark. I have a digital navigation map, but I only have enough charge in it to get me from here back to the Ring. I can’t turn it on until I’m ready to head back.
After wandering for a while, my boots sliding on ice, I stop to take a drink of water from my stores.
That’s when I hear it.
A scratching sound. I close my eyes, sensing everything around me. Concentrate.
Nails on ice. Slipping, trying to cla
w and grip. To my right. I turn toward the sound as it moves closer. Predators sometimes come to the dark side. My eyes fly open, my heart pounding. An eerie tingling hits my cheeks as the fight or flight sensation racks my body. I grasp the grip of my pistol in my holster around my thigh.
You know what to do, my dad’s ghost whispers in my ear.
I jump, glancing around, as the words float all around me. Dad?
There’s no response, but I feel his presence. Slowly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, I ready myself for whatever lies ahead.
A hiss is low to the ground, fifty meters straight ahead. I feel for my survival knife on my belt just in case.
Raven, I’m scared. It’s my brother’s voice, behind me.
My instinct is to turn around, but Bren isn’t real. The real danger lies ahead.
Closing in fast. Scurry, scratch, hiss. Then a pause, and I imagine the creature sniffing the air, trying to detect my location.
I inhale deeply, steeling my nerves. Can’t give in to fear.
Be careful, the ghost of my mom says, a soft graze on my shoulder.
Mom? The urge is stronger than ever to turn around. I gulp, as another thought enters my mind—are they here because I’m about to die?
I crouch, center my weight just like Tobias taught me, and close my eyes. I can’t see anyway.
It’s moving again, faster now. Almost upon me.
I open my eyes, pull my pistol, and fire. The spark lights up a massive, gray, scaly, lizard-like creature with giant claws and sharp teeth lunging at me. My shot barely clips its shoulder. The creature makes a loud screech before falling on top of me, pinning me to the ground. My pistol drops out of reach into the darkness.
Sharp scales scrape my arms and torso. I scramble underneath its weight as images of my past pass through my mind—the same nightmare. Mom. Dad. Bren. My arm. My body and mind struggle against both mental and physical threats.
Emery’s there too, his voice echoing in my head, This is it. The time has come.
I struggle, using my bionic arm to keep the beast’s claws and jaws at bay while I reach for my knife.
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