“Probably killed him too,” Margo spat once more.
“Probably.”
“Not all clouds have a silver lining then,” Beth whispered, feeling light-headed and sick to her stomach.
“Now,” Margo announced. “We’ve told you what we know of Lissa. Tell us what you mean to do.”
“It’s simple, really.” Beth stood, a sombre figure in the flickering firelight. “I must break the Bond.”
“And what of your Gareth?”
“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “But I know this is what I must do. I have no other choice.”
“Child,” Margo replied, resting her sewing on the floor by her stool and standing so to gaze into the younger she-wolf’s eyes. “I believe you are right.”
“What?” Marybell coughed, wheezed and held out a restraining hand, as if to stop Beth leaving. “You can’t be serious, Margo.”
“I am deadly serious, Mary. Look at her. How long do you think she’ll last in our Alpha’s tender care?”
Beth took a deep breath, the words tripping over her lips. “I must be Bound to another.”
Mary’s eyes narrowed and she sighed softly. “Yes,” she replied. “I believe you.”
“Hey, Beth,” Mickey called out to her as she passed the Common House. His glittering owl eyes creased in a smile as he winked at her in a friendly manner and invited her inside. “Come on in,” he told her now, grinning. “We’ve got a boar on a spit,” he twinkled.
“Oh you know my weakness,” she gasped theatrically, taking the steps to stand beside him at the threshold. Loud laughter and girlish giggles preceded her as she stepped through the door at the wolf’s insistence.
“What sort of fan would I be if I didn’t, ma’am?” he replied impishly, showing her to a table near the roaring fire and the glistening pig roasting there.
“Not a very good one,” she agreed.
Conversation seemed to slow down, all eyes on her before she smiled around the room and gave a general nod to all and sundry. Not remotely used to being treated so deferentially, she still found it odd the way they seemed to wait for her permission to resume gossiping and laughing. “The Alpha doesn’t come here often,” Alanna told her by way of explanation.
“I see,” and she did. They were all walking on eggshells where the dominant members of the pack were concerned, and she didn’t like it one bit. A pack was supposed to be a family, not a hierarchy. At home, the Alpha strode into the Common House and laughed and joked just like the rest of the pack. Home. She had to stop that. It was just so odd, being away from her family and all that she knew.
Even though she hadn’t made any close friends in the Loam Floor pack, and her own Den Mother merely tolerated her for her mate’s sake, she knew that the structure of the pack, the cliques and friendships were rock solid among the pack. The Alpha had close kin and friends in the most submissive wolves, and he treated them no different than the dominant group.
She had discovered no Guardians in this pack. No children fostered out to other Den Houses to encourage the surprisingly strong ties such tradition cultivated. Nothing was the same. And it didn’t feel right.
“Alanna,” Beth called softly.
The other woman turned slightly in her seat so that she was facing Beth completely. Her dark eyes immediately settled upon Beth’s frown and gave her an encouraging smile.
“I’d love to see if you could improve my dance skills,” she told the other woman. “I’ve heard talk in the pack that the mated females are expected to entertain before all mating rituals.”
“Oh my, yes!” Alanna glowed, her dark hair swishing as she turned her head this way and that, taking stock of Beth. “I do believe we can work something out. And in fact,” she went on conspiratorially. “There’s usually a dance performed at every Moon Feast.”
“Great,” Beth replied, a genuine smile playing upon her lips. “Let’s pray to the Great Mother you can do something with my ungainly limbs by then.”
Alanna laughed, her sleek, dark eyebrows rising towards her hairline. “I’m sure you’re grace personified, Beth.”
“Not hardly,” she snorted.
Mickey, she noted had moved off toward the men at the other end of the table. He was a nice guy, she mused. He’d stayed just long enough to make sure she was comfortable and then left her to it. She had no doubt that had she been the slightest bit self-conscious, he’d have stuck to her side, entertaining her with his rapier wit. Maybe she could have a word with September…
The boar was delicious. Juices dripping down her fingers, making her grip on the meat precarious, she tore another strip of meat from the bone and groaned in delight. “Mmm. This is fabulous.”
She had learned that while the adults went out to hunt for meat, the children hunted for the perfect combination of herbs to add succulence and addictive qualities to the meat brought back for cooking. “It’s almost better cooked. Almost,” Mickey called from his perch at the other end of the long, pine table. “You can’t beat the taste of fresh meat, though,” he went on, stretching his long legs out and fixing her with his owl stare. “The adrenaline and the fear. The hot rush of that first taste of its life flooding your veins.”
September, she noted, who had joined them shortly before the boar was ready, flinched and closed her eyes. “I agree,” Beth replied loudly. “We were born and bred to hunt.”
“Not all of us,” September mumbled, softly enough that Beth was sure she was the only one who caught the words.
Beth’s mind whirled. She understood the girl’s fear of what she had become, but to deny her instincts was folly. Surely she could see that. “Actually,” Beth cleared her throat, making a snap decision. “I haven’t hunted in too long.” Not since the night she fell into that trap and… She viciously cut that line of thought. “I would love to accompany the hunting party this evening.”
September jumped as Beth took hold of her hand under the table and gave it a warning squeeze. “How about it?” she glanced at her. “Will you join me, September?”
The girl honestly appeared to weigh the merits of declining, before seeming to realize that Beth was far above her station and therefore a request was as good as an order. Beth felt bad about it, but there was nothing for it. The girl had to learn to stop fearing herself, even if she would never truly love what she was.
“Um, yes,” September whispered. “But the Alpha…dinner…”
“Don’t worry your head about that,” Alanna, on Beth’s other side, leaned in and smiled. “I’ll send one of the girls to tend the Alpha’s kitchen while you’re gone.”
“Thanks,” the girl frowned, looking anything but thankful, fidgeting with the ends of her fiery hair in a self-conscious fashion.
“Wonderful!” Beth announced.
Finishing the sublime portion of roast boar, Beth sucked her fingers clean and confirmed the time of the hunt. Sundown, as in her old pack. She would have time to run, time to hunt, and perhaps time to show September that her life was not over, merely different now. Better, in fact. Who would want to be human? Who would want to die of diseases that the wolf could shake off like a head cold? Or not know the immense pleasure of having another form, another shape, the freedom of the run, and the structure of the pack, providing protection and family, always?
Beth would rather die than be human. The only human aspect she could wish for, was the freedom to be with whomever she wished. But that was pack life, and pack law, and who was she to challenge it, no matter how she wanted to?
After the hunt tonight, she would break her Bond with Gareth – her chest tightened at the thought of him, and she sighed heavily – and hope no lasting damage had been done by her madness by the creek. Her place was here now, and if she had doubted that until now, the firm resolution flowing through her mind settled it. She trusted it.
No matter the hurt, no matter the pain even thinking of letting him go brought her, it was the only course of action remaining to her. Rather Donovan than h
is brutish father. She knew he had been serious in his threats.
She still had plenty of time before sundown, and remembered the healer’s promise of teaching her Herb Lore. “September, do you think you could point me in the direction of Shale?”
The girl bobbed her head up and down, crimson locks falling onto her elfin face. “Sure, I can. He should be in the clearing with the children.” She rose, barely containing her eagerness to be out of the Common House, away from Mickey’s burning gaze. Beth noticed he had been surreptitiously studying the girl for some time. Didn’t he know softly, softly catchy monkey? Beth’s lips twisted into a smirk as she tipped her head in his direction, nodding her thanks and bidding everyone a goodbye. To a chorus of well wishes and smiles, Beth followed September from the Common House’s stifling heat, into the fresh air of the crisp Autumn day.
The Common House was near the south edge of the village, and she noted the homes and buildings they passed on their journey.
All the dwellings appeared to be in good repair and well presented, although Beth still disliked the uniform design, and wondered if her home would be just another replica. The path they trod on was nothing more than a dirt track dusted with bark chippings and loose gravel and their footfalls made hardly a sound as September hustled them past other pack members who stopped to stare at their future Alpha female as she was lead toward the well-traveled paths at the edge of the village.
Beth noticed a hulking figure lifting giant sheets of fabric from a vat full of blue dye. He gave her a wizened grin, and a hearty wave, dropping one side of the sheet, which instantly plopped back into the container, splashing a few droplets across his jolly cheeks and red nose. She waved back jovially and grinned at his rueful expression when he immediately wiped a hand across his face to catch the droplets, forgetting the dye on his fingers. He was left looking like a cross between a soldier and a smurf.
She couldn’t help but laugh softly as September led her down a dry track between two great oaks. “So you decided to join us, Beth?” Shale inquired upon seeing the pair emerge into a small clearing full of children and a couple of old she-wolves. “I sure did,” she replied, smiling.
They had quite the herb garden growing here, she noticed. There were herbs she’d never seen before, along with the very few she did recognize. Patches of bloodroot, the small white flowers long since faded, were being tended by children as young as three summers, in preparation for next season’s harvest. There was wild ginger, wild mint, and chamomile growing next to feverfew and chickweed. And, she noted, valerian root with its small, fern-like fronds. That was one herb she was already well acquainted with.
“Thank you,” Beth nodded to September, and the girl took off after a brief hesitation. Beth knew September had wanted to plead her case regarding tonight’s hunt, but Beth would not be moved. Perhaps there was a future for her as an Alpha after all.
“Welcome, Beth,” Shale approached her, a wide smile on his thin lips, and a warmth in his amber eyes that she instantly approved of. He was a huge man; Beth had to crane her neck to look into his face, and she supposed he was quite intimidating but she’d had a constant string of Guardians trailing her like daemons for so long that his size didn’t daunt her one bit. “Thank you,” she replied, taking the hand he offered in greeting.
“Let me introduce my aids, Loretta and Kadleen.”
“Very pleased to meet you both,” Beth nodded a greeting to them both, and obeyed the healer’s gesture to move forward.
“I’m Kadleen,” the smaller of the two said, a smile creasing her wide mouth and merriment twinkling in her silver eyes. “This is Loretta, my sister. She doesn’t speak,” Kadleen explained. “Couldn’t resist one last shimmer, and lost her voice box on the way back.”
Beth had heard of such anomalies taking place during a wolf’s last years of the shimmer. She supposed losing a voice box was much preferable to losing say, her human nose, or her hands, which had happened, to hear some of the elders speak.
Beth shook the hands of both with pleasure and glanced around at the children who were all staring at her in awe. She supposed they had heard of her, and expected another dominant wolf to be just as overbearing as their Alpha. She would work hard to prove herself otherwise.
“Hello there,” she said, eyes sweeping the entire gathering of children. Their ages ranged from three years to fifteen years, and some of them had more wariness than others. A little boy of what Beth guessed to be five tugged on her jeans with his grubby hands. When she looked down, one of the older girls whipped his hands away from her with a scalding reprimand not to touch her.
“Showwy,” he mumbled around the grimy thumb he’d immediately popped into his mouth. “I jush wanshed sho know if she wash here to learn like ush.” A big, fat and glistening tear rolled down his face as he considered the angry face of the girl who had scolded him.
“Hey,” she whispered, leaning down on her haunches so she could get as close to eye level as she could with the little guy. “You probably know more than I do,” she assured him in a sing-song voice. “You could probably teach me!”
Laughing, he pulled his thumb from his mouth and glared at the girl who was now sitting back on her heels, frowning in confusion. “I could,” he replied, eyes shining. “I really could!”
As Beth turned back towards Shale, she was sure she could see him out of the corner of her eye, sticking his tongue out at the now silent young girl. She scarcely held in her laugh. Shale’s eyes were so full of approval, and genuine amusement that she smiled, and put on the brave face, even though her stomach was twisting and churning from the events of the morning, and the events yet to come. “So,” she asked him in a teasing voice. “Which herb should I pick if I want to make my dinner tastier tomorrow?”
“Well Lovage Seed is wonderful on venison, while Cardamom or Coriander is best with pork…”
Beth forced herself to listen to all the different herbs and spices she could use on her meat, determined that before the month was up she would not only know how to cook them, she would also know how to flavor them correctly. She was soon to be a Den Mother in her own right, although it could take some time for her to be with cubs, she needed to know this stuff.
For an hour or more, Beth got down and dirty in the soft soil with the others, diligently weeding and mulching ready for the winter that in these territories could literally arrive over night. The children hummed low to Shale’s slow, deep chanting, imploring the Great Mother for her help in making the earth fertile and rich. Beth swayed as the tune took over her body and soothed her worries.
There was not much talk going on, a fact Beth was heartily glad of. Expecting a lecture that droned on and on about this herb and that, today’s task was instead to prepare the earth and protect the plants, which really didn’t need much instruction. Beth’s fingers sifted through the velvety earth, rooting out the weeds that even Shale couldn’t hold at bay. This was a wild world, and the wild wanted to reclaim it.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding,” a soft whisper caressed her ear, and a gentle hand cupped her elbow. “I’ve been looking for you, my mate.”
“Donovan,” Beth replied, almost hypnotised by the melodious chanting, her eyes half-mast and hazy.
“Come with me,” he whispered, lifting her to her feet. “I’m sure Shale won’t mind if I monopolize my mate for a while.”
Shale nodded once, slowly. “You just make sure my newest pupil is back here first thing in the morning for her first lesson.”
“I’ll do that, Healer,” he promised earnestly, leading Beth away from the little gathering, deeper into the wood.
“Where are we going?” Beth asked excitedly, thankful that he’d had regained his characteristic good humor.
Donovan moved his arm to settle about her shoulders in a proprietary fashion, and Beth tried not to bump hips with him as they both found a comfortable rhythm to walk in. “Oh, I was thinking we could explore a little,” he informed her, eyes smiling. “A
little bird told me you’re joining the hunt this evening and I thought you’d like to walk the trails with me beforehand.”
“I’d love that,” she exclaimed, tightening her grip on his waist.
Shoving the thought of Gareth to the back of her mind, she wiggled her fingers beneath the light cotton of Donovan's shirt, to stroke the heated skin above his jeans waistband.
He looked at her quickly, heat in his golden stare, and Beth offered him a small smile. She knew he was reluctant to take any invitation she offered him, in the event that it was snatched back like it had been before. Shaking her head slightly at the question in his eyes, she came to a halt and wrapped her other arm around his neck, swinging around in front of him. The kiss was soft and undemanding, their lips brushing slowly against each other, tongues stroking unhurriedly.
“Beth,” he croaked, wrapping his vast arms around her waist, dragging her closer, his breath hot on her cheek. “The things you do to me, my mate.”
“Are you going to join us on the hunt, Donovan?” Beth was a little breathless herself; that was the first kiss on the road to a Bond, she knew, and it was hard not to feel nervous and frightened, while at the same time feeling guilty for the enjoyment she took from one of Donovan's devastating kisses. Silently willing her mind to prevent all thoughts of the state she would be in by now if it was her other mate who she had been kissing, she glanced into his bright eyes.
“Would you like me to?” he asked.
She sighed. Why must everything be about her? Why couldn’t he simply say that he didn’t want to, or that he did, or that he would see how the mood struck him? Why was it her decision? “I don’t mind,” she offered. Make up your own mind, she silently begged of him. She didn’t want him to be but a puppet, acting out her wishes.
“I have a lot of work to do,” he confessed. “Although the thought of a run with you is too tempting by half.” He grinned down at her and loosened his hold. “I do believe I’ll try my best to join you,” he told her, long legs carrying him through the wood.
Bound by Fate (Moon Bound Series Book 1) Page 16
