“Sit,” the older woman told her as soon as the door closed. “Explain.”
“Explain what?”
“How your plans are coming along? Did you manage to get Donovan on your side? I saw you leave the Common House soon after him yesterday.”
Beth refused the offering of grapes and shook her head sadly. “There is no plan,” she looked from Margo, who had stopped stirring, to Marybell who was sitting on the edge of her stool with a glazed over expression.
“Excuse me?” said Margo. “Of course there’s a plan, I was here when it was conceived. I was here when a great many things were conceived but that’s another story. What do you mean?”
“I mean no, I didn’t convince Donovan to help me escape – God I must have been mad to think I could in the first place. And I mean there is no plan, because I’ve abandoned it.”
She told them everything. About not even asking Donovan because she could never put him in that position. About the dinner and the not-so-veiled threats Bradley had issued. Even about her secret meeting with Gareth.
Marybell cleared her throat in the silence and Margo sat down heavily, her bones creaking almost as much as the stool. “You mean to tell me,” she began, scornfully. “That your Bonded traveled all the way here, through enemy territory, with no back up, and offered to rescue you…and you refused to be rescued? Is that what you’re saying?”
“It was more complicated than that.” She ignored Marybell and Margo snorting derisively in unison. “But…yes.”
“That was a bit foolish, no?” Marybell asked, all wide-eyed innocence.
“Foolish? It was downright–”
“Necessary,” Beth cut her off. “You were both here when Lissa done the same thing with her lover. Can you imagine what would happen to the pair who betrayed him for the second time?”
“I see your conundrum.” The old woman’s reluctant admission was not very soothing. “But, you could have tried, dear. You know what your life will be like here, now.”
“I know,” she whispered. “But it’s life. I’ll have a home, and children, and friends like you to help me see it through.”
“Friendship isn’t enough,” Marybell stated flatly. “It never is.”
“Correct. What if you get to feeling the same as Lissa after a year, or ten years? What then? Even if Bradley doesn’t Bond you, your Bonded may have broken his Bond and both of you could live to regret that.” The elder leaned forward conspiratorially. “You’re young, and if I believe all the gossip you’re fast and near impossible to track. You could make it.”
“And I might not.”
“But isn’t it worth a try?” Marybell asked excitedly. “For love?”
“My love is gone. I told you the things I said to him. I’m surprised he hasn’t broken the Bond already.”
“Love is stronger than hurt. But, if you’re determined to live out your life in misery, we’d better show you how to brew your own special tea, so that at least you can smile from time to time.” That was all the old woman would say on the subject.
“It’s so good to see you, my mate.”
Beth froze as she opened the front door. It seemed that Bradley had been waiting for her in the hallway. What was going on?
“I gather you had a little conversation with Felicity earlier. Don’t worry, she won’t bother you again.”
“She didn’t bother me to begin with.”
“Just the same.” His smile was shark-like, all long teeth and no mirth. He looked like the Big Bad Wolf everybody spoke about. She wondered if he’d eaten Felicity. And then she had to stifle a grin, at the images that produced. Right on the heels of that, were the images that weren’t so funny after all. She really began to wonder then.
“What did you do to her?” Trying to sound casual when you’re anything but was a mean feat for anyone, but when you factored in the scents of rising panic and disgust, you failed before you even began.
“I?” He seemed honestly offended. “I did nothing. I just had a word with her, that’s all.”
“Okay, so…she’s alright?” Beth cleared her throat awkwardly. “I mean, she was pretty upset earlier, and I hate to see anyone upset and so…”
“And so you are worried.” He beamed his shark-grin at her again. “She is fine, I promise.”
Nodding, Beth moved toward the stairs, but her soon-to-be-mate stepped in front of her. “We never got to finish saying good night, last night. So I’ve come all the way home from my busy meeting schedule just to say good afternoon.” He was so close she could smell the eggs he’d had for breakfast.
“Good afternoon,” she squeaked, trying once again to get around him to the stairs. The safest room in the house was her room, and even that wasn’t as safe as she wanted. She longed to be alone for a while before the evening’s festivities began.
“Mmh,” he grunted, and backed her up against the wall. “Tonight, my dear, you won’t be able to refuse my attentions.” He rubbed her shoulders, making her skin want to slough off. “When we are officially mated, you will take your rightful place in my bed.”
Beth simultaneously wanted to both vomit and run, but stood there, frozen, unable to do either. His attentions were unimaginably creepy. Why, out of all the she-wolves in the pack, even over Felicity, did he want her? She really didn’t understand. If it were just her pure-breed status, that would explain it, but she sensed that Felicity was pure-bred too, and more than willing to give him cubs. If it were to cement a truce between their two packs she could understand that, too, but Bradley didn’t seem to want a truce, so much as he wanted all out war. She wasn’t particularly special in any other way.
Sure, she could track and hunt, and she was swift in her wolf-form, but she wasn’t as beautiful as Felicity, nor as talented as Alanna, nor even as accommodating as September. What did he want of her? Fumbling for an excuse, she muttered something about wanting to take a nap before the ceremony.
“Oh yes, do find some rest,” he told her slowly. “It’s going to be a long night.” With a rumbling laugh that made Beth feel queasy, Bradley sauntered toward the door. “I’m looking forward to it, Beth.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, Beth slid down the wall to perch herself on the stairs. How was she going to do this? She had been so full of bluster earlier in the weaver’s cottage, telling them about how she would love her children, and how she would get through it, but the bigger picture was, she would be mated to an almost certainly abusive male, whom she despised the very thought of bedding, which she would have to do, as often as he wished, until the day one of them died, putting aside her true mate in the process. She wasn’t so sure, anymore. She wasn’t sure at all.
She needed to speak to Donovan. There was something she needed to know.
Not knowing where to find him, since he hadn’t been staying in the Great House since Bradley had taken over her mating rights, she roamed the village in the hopes that he would find her, as he had the day before. As luck would have it, she found him sitting by the fire in the Common House. “May I sit?” She noticed that every other pack member had drifted out of the room when she entered. To give them privacy, she hoped, not to tattle to Bradley.
“You can if you wish,” he replied quietly, not even bothering to raise his eyes.
As she folded herself to a mat beside him, he moved away, and Beth felt torn between wanting to comfort him, and wishing she’d never met him. “I need to know if he’s still here.”
“Why? What good would it do you?” He did look at her then. “Are you…?” he shook his head violently. “No, I don’t want to know.”
“Donovan!” She gripped his wrist tightly. “Please, just tell me if he’s still here.”
“He’s gone,” he replied, removing his wrist from her grip. “He left not long after you returned yesterday. I guess you warned him well enough.”
With her world bottoming out, Beth managed a nod. “Good, I…it’s good that he’s gone.”
“It’s good fo
r him.” He repositioned himself closer to her and whispered, “not so good for you, though, huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied.
“Sure you do. You were hoping to give Father the slip, weren’t you?” He smiled, but it was a sad smile. “I can’t say that I blame you overmuch, but you must know that only folly lies in that direction.”
“I do know.” And she did. But she was really hoping to give it a try. For love, like Marybell said. For a chance.
“I’m so very sorry, Beth. If I’d known how this would all turn out, I would have left you in your territory without a backward glance. But,” he sighed. “It seems hindsight is twenty-twenty and so we must live with regret.”
“I’m not sorry I met you,” she said, but even she didn’t completely believe that.
“You will be…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve been doing a bit of digging, Beth. Talking to people who would rather not be named.” He glanced around to make sure they truly were alone before continuing. “It seems my mother may not have died of a fever after all. And it also seems that my father had himself another secret lover all along. A secret lover with an interest in herbs, that is.”
“Felicity,” she shook her head. “But she’s only an apprentice. She wouldn’t have had any idea how to harm someone with herbs and get away with it way back then, would she?”
Donovan nodded. “She’s only an apprentice because our Healer is still with us. She was qualified fifteen years ago, so yes, she would have been far enough into her training to know some pretty major stuff.”
Oh, God this was all just too much. “What’s going on with this pack?” Beth wasn’t aware that she’d spoken aloud until Donovan answered her question.
“The pack is broken. Our Alpha has destroyed us.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“What can I do? Nothing.” He shifted again and moved further from her, signaling and end to the conversation.
“You mean you won’t do anything,” Beth snarled. Her legs shook as she stood, the shock of everything taking its toll. What sort of pack had she mated into? And how could she escape it before the night was over?
Beth had taken extra care all day with what she chose to eat and drink; she didn’t want to catch a fever too. Much longer living like this and she would poison herself just to be done with it. This mating ceremony was to be different from her own initial ceremony. Whereas she was announcing her readiness to mate to her pack before, now she was just cementing her status as mated, so there were no special preparations, no primping, no preening and definitely no naked dancing under the full moon. Just her, Bradley, the pack and the words.
She chose a soft gown of royal green silk from the selection Bradley had ordered laid out for her, and slid it on over her bare body. According to information she’d gleaned from Margo and Marybell, tradition indicated that any official mating ceremony where an Alpha was concerned had three stages.
Firstly, the words, or vows. They both had to pronounce their love for each other to the Great Mother for all the pack to witness, and usually there would be some sort of sign from the Great Mother, although nobody really adhered to the old ways anymore, so if there were none, it could be tactfully ignored.
Secondly they both had to shimmer, whereupon they would use their combined strength of will to force a shimmer into those who were able. Mostly, there was no force involved, and those gathered would shimmer on their own. Displays of power were nonsense, or so some would say, unless it is to show your enemy you are stronger.
And lastly, and most embarrassingly, she would “present” herself to her mate in her wolf-form, to be mounted. Tradition said the Alpha must mount his female for the pack to see, and whether they finished in wolf-form or human-form, any child born from this union would be blessed.
When the moon hit its zenith, the ceremony was complete, and all could feast in honor of the Alpha and his mate. Beth had a feeling she’d be drinking copious amounts of wine this night. And with still a little over an hour before the ceremony was to begin, she wondered if perhaps breaking into Alanna’s stores would be considered rude, even if she was to be the Alpha Female.
Maybe she’d just have one glass, for courage, she decided as she left the Great House in search of the Mistress of Dance.
“What brings you here?”
Beth could hear the surprise in the she-wolf’s friendly greeting. She guessed not every woman would be out roaming the village, seemingly aimlessly an hour before her own mating ceremony. “Oh, I just thought I could bother you for a quick sip of your delicious wine before things kicked off,” she smiled, moving farther into the room. “May I sit?”
“Oh, of course! How rude of me.” Alanna motioned to a plump cushion as she rose quickly and reached behind her to a shelf containing a set of four sparkling glasses and a small, squat pottery jug. The fruity aroma of the liquid floated through the air, and made Beth’s nostrils flare. “I imagine it’s all quite daunting, really,” she went on conversationally, filling two glasses before settling herself on a cushion opposite Beth. “Before, you had time to accustom yourself to the idea of becoming the Alpha Female, but now you’ve just been thrown in at the deep end, haven’t you?”
Beth took a sip of the sweet drink and considered her reply for a moment, steadfastly ignoring the other woman’s direct gaze. “Well, I suppose you’re right,” she finally admitted. “Although, I am…happy,” she finished, somewhat lamely, taking a large swallow of her wine.
“Of course you are,” Alanna gasped, genuinely shocked. “I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.”
“It’s quite alright,” Beth held up a restraining hand. “I suppose I’m a little frightened of the responsibility and all that comes with it.”
“I’m sure you’ll make an excellent Alpha Female, no matter what.” She suddenly grinned, her plump lips parting ever so slightly, showing off the pearly glint of her teeth. “Bradley is somewhat overbearing, but he’s always watched out for the pack, and I’m sure you’ll make him a fine mate.”
“So.” Blatantly changing the focus of the conversation, Beth took another quick swallow. “How is it that a female of your good standing in the pack hasn’t been mated, yet?”
“Well, I was mated, once.” Her eyes took on a dreamy quality, and Beth leaned forward, hoping for at least a bit of gossip. “He was quite highly ranked in the pack. A Shield.” Her delicate hands developed a tremor and she placed her wine glass on the floor, just so, taking great care not to spill any of the precious liquid. “He was one of two Shields here in the Tall Grass pack, and we loved each other fiercely. But, it was not to be, I suppose. One day he was here, and we were happy, the next he had to go off on some awful assignment,” she grimaced. “Which we argued over. He didn’t know how long he would be, and in my anger I told him not to return at all, if that were the case.” Alanna sighed, a deep shrug of her shoulders and wiped away one lonely tear. “He took my advice, and I haven’t seen him since.”
“But, surely he’s been in contact somehow?”
Alanna shook her head, denying it. “Not ever. I know he’s out there somewhere, through the Bond we share, but he has never come home. I should not have given him such an ultimatum in any case. It was not my place.” But Beth could tell the woman was deeply hurt and still harboring a resentful anger towards the man she plainly both loved and missed.
“You have never been tempted to break the Bond?”
She once again shook her head. “Why should I? They only let you down, in the end.” Just then, she cracked a self-conscious smile and drank deeply of her own wine. “Don’t listen to me! Here I am telling you tales of woe on what is officially your wedding night. Drink up!” she called, fetching the jug from the shelf. “We have time for another before the ceremony.”
Donovan was right, she thought. The entire pack is broken in some form or another. There was timid September
and her love/hate relationship with Mickey, Margo and Marybell hiding away in a cottage when they should be revered as elders, murderous Felicity, and poor, damaged Donovan himself. Not to mention a crazy Alpha and a bitter Mistress of Dance.
It was a short walk to the clearing beyond the village, but Beth felt as though she had been walking for miles. I guess everyone feels that way, when there’s nothing but pain and fear at the destination, she thought sadly. So this is where it all ends. This is how my life will be. If only she’d taken Gareth’s hand and fled when she’d had the chance, none of this would be happening. Sure, they’d spend the rest of their lives running, but it would be worth it. At the time, she’d thought she could handle what the future had in store for her, but through Bradley’s increasingly insane actions, she’d soon realized she was very mistaken.
He would use her up and wear her out, and in the end, all she’d really have would be memories of pain and loss. Margo had taught her how to make a special infusion of herbs that would repress her heat cycle, so as to make sure she never bore the Alpha so much as one cub. If he ever found out…but no, she’d make sure she was discreet. Surely he would suspect something, but she could explain it away as a medical anomaly. He couldn’t watch her every minute of the day, and she intended to start taking the herbs from the beginning of her next heat.
The heavy beat of drums accompanied her steps across the clearing where she could see the Alpha waiting for her, his lips spread wide in a salacious grin. Taking a deep breath, and forcing her legs to carry her forward, she stepped into her fate. Of Donovan, there was no sign, but it seemed that every other member of the pack had turned out for the ceremony, including, she was surprised to note, Felicity looking radiant in a blood red gown with a low neckline.
Bound by Fate (Moon Bound Series Book 1) Page 21
