by J. R. Ward
He guessed this was how it ended for them.
Separate lives, separate futures.
Hard to think that they had started out inseparable—
Abruptly, Blay’s blue stare found his.
And what Qhuinn saw in it caused him to falter: Love shone out of that face, unadulterated love untempered by the shyness that was very much a part of his reserve.
Blay didn’t look away.
And for the first time… neither did Qhuinn.
He didn’t know whether the emotion was about his cousin—it probably was—but he’d take it: He stared right back at Blaylock and let everything he had in his heart show in his face.
He just let that shit fly.
Because there was a lesson in this Fade ceremony tonight: You could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye—and he was willing to bet, when it happened, you weren’t thinking about all the reasons that could have kept you apart. You thought of all the reasons that kept you together.
And, no doubt, how you wished you’d had more time. Even if you’d had centuries…
When you were young, you thought time was a burden, something to be discharged as fast as possible so you could be grown-up. But it was such a bait-n-switch—when you were an adult, you came to realize that minutes and hours were the single most precious thing you had.
No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given.
Enough, Qhuinn thought. Enough with the excuses, and the avoidance, and the trying to be someone, anyone else.
Even if he got shanked, even if his precious little ego and his dumb-ass little heart got shattered into a million pieces, it was time to stop the bullshit.
It was time to be a male.
As Blay started to straighten, like a message had been received, Qhuinn thought, That’s right, buddy.
Our future has come.
EPILOGUE
The following evening, Tohrment rolled over and found Autumn’s body in the sheets. She was warm and willing as he mounted her, her thighs splitting for him, her core welcoming him as he sank in deep and moved inside.
They had fallen asleep together, sinking into the kind of rest you had when a journey was over and home had finally reappeared on the horizon.
“Give me your mouth, my female,” he said softly in the dark.
As her lips yielded to him, he let his body take over, the release not an earthquake, but more of a wave, an easing of tension rather than a chaotic explosion of stars. And as he continued to ride her in that gentle rhythm, making love to his Autumn, he was reassuring himself that she was real—that they were real.
When it was over, he willed on a single light on the bedside table and traced her face with his fingertips. The way she smiled at him made him totally believe in a benevolent Maker.
They were going to be mated, he thought. And he would add her name, the one he had given her, to his back, right below Wellsie’s. And she would be fully his shellan for however long they had together.
“Do you want something to eat?” he whispered.
She smiled some more. “Please.”
“I’ll be right back, then.”
“Wait, I’d like to come with you. I don’t know what I want.”
“Then we’ll go down together.”
It took some time to actually make it out of the bed, get dressed in pj’s, and wander down the hall of statues to the stairwell.
Autumn paused at the top, as if she were remembering the night before and leery of getting anywhere near the space—like she might get sucked up into the Fade again.
With a nod of understanding, he swung her up into his arms. “I’ll carry you.”
As she stared up into his face, she put her hand to his cheek, and didn’t have to speak. He knew exactly what she was thinking of.
“I can’t believe Lassiter saved us, either,” he said.
“I don’t want him suffering.”
“Neither do I. He was a good guy. A real… angel, as it turned out.”
Tohr started the descent, taking careful steps because he had a precious load. Down at the bottom, he paused for a moment to look at the depiction of the apple tree on the floor. He had let go of two females at the foot of one… and now he was in the position of carrying one of them back over it—thanks to that angel who had somehow pulled off a miracle.
He was going to miss that son of a bitch; he really was. And he was going to be eternally grateful for—
The doorbell chimed, loud and clear.
Frowning, Tohr glanced over at the grandfather clock by the door to the butler’s pantry. Two in the afternoon? Who the hell could—
The chime went off again.
Striding across the mosaic floor, prepared to call for his brothers if he had to, he peered at the monitor—
“Holy… shit.”
“Who is it?”
Tohr put Autumn down, freed the locking mechanism to the inner portal and put his female behind him in the event any daylight shone in.
Lassiter walked in like he owned the place, that swagger back in full force, his smile as wide and naughty as ever, his blond and black hair marked with fresh snowflakes.
As Tohr and Autumn stared at him with their mouths open, he held up two oversize McDonald’s bags.
“I brought us all Big Macs,” he said happily. “I know you dig ’em, remember?”
“What the…” Tohr tightened his grip on his shellan, just in case…well, shit, with the way things were going lately, anything could happen. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s your lucky day, motherfucker.” The angel did a little spin, piercings glinting, Mickey D’s bags flaring out. “Turned out there were three of us being tested, and I passed as well. The instant I pledged myself for you two, I was free—and after I thought about it for a while, I decided I’d rather be on earth doing good works than up there in the clouds. ’Cuz, you know, I’ve kinda gotten a ball rolling, and this compassion shit looks good on me. Besides, no Maury in heaven.”
“Which is what distinguishes the place from hell,” Tohr pointed out.
“Too right.” The angel jogged his load of high-calorie, high-fat. “So what you say? I got fries, too. No sundaes. I didn’t know how long it would take for someone to open the door for me, and I didn’t want them to melt.”
Tohr looked at Autumn. Then they both looked at the angel.
As one, they stepped in and embraced the guy, and what do you know, the son of a bitch held them back.
“I’m really glad this worked out,” Lassiter whispered in all seriousness. “For you two.”
“Thanks, man,” Tohr said in return. “I owe you one.… Shit, I owe you everything.”
“You did a lot of it yourself.”
“Except for that last bit,” Autumn pointed out. “That was you, Lassiter.”
“Meh. Who’s counting. Between friends, you know.”
The three of them eased back, and then after an awkward moment, they walked into the dining room. As they sat down at one end and Lassiter began passing out the goods, Tohr had to laugh. He and this angel had started with the golden arches… and here they were again.
“Much better than that cave, right?” Lassiter murmured as he handed over fries.
Tohr glanced over at Autumn and couldn’t believe how far they all had come. “Yeah. Really, totally… completely much better.”
“Plus this place has cable.”
As Lassiter winked at them both, Tohr and Autumn started grinning.
“It does, angel. It so does… and anytime you want the clicker, it’s yours for the taking.”
Lassiter barked out a laugh. “Damn, you really are grateful.”
Tohr stared at Autumn and found himself nodding. “You bet your ass I am. Eternally grateful… I am… Eternally. Grateful.”
On that note, he kissed his female… and bit into his Big Mac.
he Black Dagger Brotherhood
