by Amy Sumida
“Think about it,” Azrael looked at me meaningfully. “Who believes in the Christian God?”
“Is this a trick question?” I asked and Azrael just laughed and shook his head. “ Okay, well Christians then.”
“Uh huh,” Az smirked, “and who believes in the Devil?”
“Oh snap,” I laughed. “Everyone. You don't have to be Christian to believe in Satan. He gets blamed for all sorts of stuff.”
“The Devil made me do it,” Azrael nodded. “Dad has way more followers than Jerry and he gets better sacrifices too. You don't have to be Christian to have a guilty conscience, to think that because you're evil, you're going to Hell. Dad gets people from all faiths and as horrible as it sounds, he still gets human sacrifices too. The energy from most murders get sent his way. Then there's the people who actually worship him. I'm not even going to go into that.”
“That's rather ironic,” I ignored the fact that Azrael's father benefited from evil deeds, it was too unsettling to think about. “Satan's stronger than Jerry. Man, it's hard to say that name with a straight face.”
“You're telling me,” Azrael huffed and then grimaced at me when I started laughing. “The strength thing not the name Jerry. Dad laughed for days when it first started happening. Now he doesn't have to do anything, he has demons to run Hell and they just report to him. He stays home and soaks up all the energy, then shares it with his friends.”
“Kinda like Bill Gates,” I chuckled. “I'm glad for him. Wait, I just thought of something. Jesus wasn't born to save humanity?”
“Jesus was born to save the angels and his parent's marriage,” Azrael sighed. “It kind of messed him up for awhile. He spent years in the Human Realm, wandering around and smoking hash with humans, but he eventually developed his easy-going attitude.”
“Smokin' a lot of hashish will do that to you,” I laughed. “I don't think he's given it up either.”
“No but it can't have that much of an effect on him,” Azrael mused, “what with his god health.”
“Huh,” I thought about it. “Maybe he just likes acting stoned. Speaking of stoned, what about the crucifixion?”
“Oh that,” Azrael sighed. “And that was a horrible segue by the way. The crucifixion was one of his friend's ideas. They thought it would be good for his image and since he can't die, he could rise again and freak people out. Other gods had done it before, risen from the dead, so Jesus thought it was a good idea. You know, everyone's doing it kind of thing.”
“No way, so the crucifixion was just a publicity stunt?”
“I guess you could call it that but you have to remember, this was back when the gods were still doing things like that to get people to worship them. Jesus was a young god and he wasn't going to get any followers by smoking hash, so it seemed like a good plan and you gotta admit, it kinda was.”
“Yeah, you're right,” I huffed, “the stunt worked.”
“I was lucky,” Azrael continued. “I didn't have to go make a name for myself. My birth had created a certain amount of notoriety all on its own. Then Dad made me the Angel of Death, ensuring that I would never have a lack of followers. I collect some energy every time I gather a soul, kind of like a toll, and that has kept me very powerful.”
“I've wondered how you got sacrifices.”
“Dad really looked out for me.”
“He sounds kind of cool,” I grinned. “So why has your mother stayed with Jerry for all of these years? I mean besides the Blood to Heart thing. I think I'd risk the difficulty if it meant I didn't have to live with a dickhead anymore.”
“Well, Mom and Dad have stayed lovers. With Jerry's continued neglect, they've become less cautious about it all and now Mom openly visits Dad in Hell whenever she feels like it.”
“Then she should just leave Jerry already,” I said before I thought about it. I really have no filter. Then I remembered what a mess that kind of thinking had got me into with Demeter. “But it's none of my business,” I amended.
“Wow,” Azrael lifted a brow. “I don't believe we've met. My name is Azrael,” he extended his hand to me.
“Shut up,” I batted it away. “I promised Trevor I'd be more cautious on this quest.”
“Quest, eh?”
“Yes, my quest to find Odin.”
“Right, well how about it,” Az got up and held out a hand to me. “Wanna go to Hell with me and meet the Devil?”
Chapter Four
The dragon guarding Hell was a refugee.
At least that's what he told me when I met him. Turns out, the gods gave sanctuary to any dragon who survived the years they were hunted to near extinction by the humans. The same humans who didn't see a distinction between them and my own ancestors, the dragon-sidhe. Both of us were hunted till nearly our entire race was obliterated. The High King of Faerie finally pulled the fey lands back through the Aether to its birth place and closed the borders for good. Or at least until Faerie pulled me through and they decided to open them up again.
“According to myth, I'm supposed to eat the bodies of those who have spent their lives in evil,” Salem the dragon said, making the dragon version of a moue of distaste.
I know, right? Salem the dragon? Turns out, Salem, taken from the Hebrew Shalem and also from the Arabic Salim, means peace. It kind of made an odd sort of sense to name a dragon peace. I mean, if a dragon wants peace, you should probably count yourself lucky and give it to him.
“You don't like the taste of humans?” I asked, looking over his beautiful emerald scales with the appreciation only a fellow dragon could understand.
“Nah, not with all the crap they eat these days,” Salem shook his head. “It's gross.”
“And I decided I didn't want a corner of Shehaquim to be set aside for torturing evil souls who dishonor god,” Azrael interjected. “What do I care if people want to dishonor Jerry?”
“No kidding,” Salem agreed. “So, sister I heard about your triple trinity aspects, congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I shot a look at Az. Did he tell everyone in Heaven?
“I haven't seen another dragon in four-hundred years,” Salem mused. “And then it was only the boss in his dragon guise.”
“Lucifer is a dragon?” I turned to look at Azrael in shock.
“No,” Az shook his head, “he's a shapeshifter who can become a dragon because that what humans believe.”
“Like I said,” Salem looked pointedly at me, “it's been awhile.”
“Did you want me to shift?” I glanced at Az and he seemed fascinated by the thought. “Maybe take a few laps around Heaven?”
“That would be amazing,”Salem looked over at Az.
“Go ahead,” he shrugged, “I'm not in a rush.”
Since there was only Azrael and Salem there(evidently the gate to Hell through Shehaquim was one only Azrael used to deliver souls, so there wasn't any traffic, as it were), I just pulled off my blue cotton dress and underwear. Azrael had already seen it all and I was pretty sure Salem didn't care about my goodies. I shifted to dragon form, the fey magic running through my body in a tingling rush as my dragon came roaring up in delight.
I stood before them in my dragon form and let them look their fill. I couldn't help it, we dragons are prideful creatures. Also, it was the first time Azrael had seen me as a dragon and I wanted him to know all of my different aspects. He seemed fairly happy but not as happy as Salem. The green dragon jumped up and down, like a four-year-old on Christmas morning.
“You look fantastic!” He said and ran a claw over my gold scales.
“Hey now,” Azrael spread his wings with a snap. “Claws off my woman.”
“Oh, sorry,” Salem chuckled. “I got a little carried away.”
“Shall we?” I nodded toward the sky before gathering power in my haunches and launching myself upward.
Azrael and Salem followed and I realized that this would be the first time I'd flown with Azrael without him carrying me. I roared in delight, happy to share
this freedom with my lover and another dragon. Salem echoed me and we dove together, swirling around each other in a happy dragon dance. We pulled up before we reached the ground and went soaring back up to Azrael, screeching with pleasure as the wind cooled our scales. Azrael laughed at us and flew in and out of our path like a little bird. It was wonderful and I let it go on way too long.
Heads popped out of the houses that lined the open plain between the gate of Hell and the Garden of Eden. Then the angels came out to watch us, two dragons and the Angel of Death playing leap frog in the sky of Heaven. Not something you see everyday I guess and I didn't mind them watching, as long as they didn't try to stab us with any of those holy spears.
Finally, it was Azrael who suggested we head back. Salem and I reluctantly followed, landing in front of the gate to Hell with heavy thuds. I pulled my dragon in and condensed myself back to human size. Azrael handed me my clothes, smiling at me.
“You make a beautiful dragon,” Az said as he zipped up my dress. “But I prefer you like this.”
“Wait till you see my half-form,” I grinned wickedly at him. “We could fly together again and maybe a little more.”
“Now that's something I'd like to see,” he shared a secret look with me and then turned toward the dragon. “Salem, we must be going now but we'll see you once more on our way out.”
“Thank you for bringing her,” Salem nodded to Az. “It was the most fun I've had in centuries.”
“Maybe you could get some time off,” I suggested. “There's someone in Faerie I'd like to introduce you to.”
“Faerie?” Salem perked up. “I could go to the Faerie Realm.”
“If your boss doesn't mind,” I glanced at Az.
“Do you think he'd agree?” Salem looked at Azrael hopefully.
“I don't see why not,” Azrael shrugged. “It's not like you haven't earned it.”
“Woohoo!” Salem did another jump. “I'm going to Faerie!”
“I can't travel with you,” I held up my hand, “because I use this ring to go back to the time I last left but you can go anytime you wish and I'll be waiting for you there. By the time you go, I'll already have returned and know about your visit. I'm always there.”
“And always here,” Azrael laughed. “Faerie magic is pretty nifty.”
“A time bender, eh?” Salem eyed the ring. “Very awesome. I'll go see you as soon as I get the okay.”
“Well then, I'll see you soon,” I laughed as I followed the Angel of Death into Hell.
Chapter Five
The landscape of Hell was strange at first glance. Upon a second look it became unsettling and a third pushed it all over into horrifying.
There seemed to be all the regular requirements of a proper landscape; rocks, trees, mountains, and the like. The ground was a strange dark red but a lot of soil had minerals that turned it unusual colors, so that wasn't terribly off-putting. In fact, in Hawaii they even used the red dirt to dye T-shirts, red dirt shirts. So that wasn't what set off my scary alarms.
The mountains were a bit bumpy and the tree branches were bare but this could all be excused with a natural explanation. Rocks could be jagged and trees could be bare in winter or with a lack of rain. All plausible reasons. What couldn't be explained, what caused me to stop dead in my tracks(if you'll forgive the pun), was the realization of what it all was made of.
Bones.
Well, it wasn't entirely bones. There was blood to dye the earth and sinews to hold the bones together, even bits of flesh here and there. It was all a mish-mash of body parts that should have been buried or at the very least, rotting in the natural way. These were not rotting and were not natural in any way, shape, or form. Well, at least not the forms they'd been made into.
Long thigh bones made up the trunks of trees, bundled together with yellowing pieces of sinew. The bones got smaller as the trunks split and separated into skeletal branches, ending in delicate tiny bones at the tips. Finger bones, I'm guessing. Rocks were piles of crushed bone and mountains were larger versions of those, held together by bits of gore and patchy layers of gray moss that had the look of brain matter to it.
The plant life, which was plentiful, consisted of starbursts of little bones which clicked eerily in the warm breeze. Blood dripped from their joints onto the ground, adding to the rusty color. Overhead, the sky was burnt orange and red without a single cloud to grant some peace to the eyes.
“Are you alright?” Azrael squeezed my hand.
“I thought the path to Hell was paved with good intentions,” I glared at the bone fragments crunching beneath my feet.
“This is only the beginning. We still have a ways to walk. I could carry you and you could close your eyes.”
“I'll be fine,” I gestured to the path ahead of us. “Lead on, Angel of Death.”
He led and I followed him through the ominous landscape until we came upon two transparent structures, several stories high and wider than my eye could see. They stretched out from the sides of the path indefinitely and we were going to walk right through the middle of them.
As we approached, I saw the shapes of creatures flying above and around the buildings. I thought them to be angels at first but then I saw that the wings were more leathery, like my dragon wings, and though humanoid in shape, these beings looked nothing like humans. Their skin colors varied from deep red to poison green and pus yellow. They had horns in various places; heads, backs, shoulders, even arms, and they had tails, barbed tails.
“Demons?” I looked over at Az for confirmation and he nodded, his eyes following their flight. “Is it strange that they kind of remind me of faeries?”
“Not at all,” Azrael laughed. “I thought the same thing in reverse when I first met the fey.”
One of the demons landed before us, his teeth bared so I could see the remnants of his last fleshy meal. His skin was the color of a two-day-old bruise and his eyes were neon green. There were black horns coming out of his cheeks, going up the line of the cheekbones, and into his thick black hair. He put both hands on his hips as he surveyed us.
“Azrael!” He exclaimed in a very human voice. “It's good to see you.”
“Cid,” Azrael reached out a hand and the demon shook it. “It's good to see you too. How is everyone?”
“Well, we can't complain,” Cid gave me a grimace. “We really can't or his daddy will tear us apart.”
“Cid,” Az sighed.
“Joking,” Cid laughed long and hard. “I wanted to try that one out on someone non-demon and it's not like you bring a lot of your friends around.”
“Yes, I can't imagine why no one wants to visit Hell with me,” Azrael rolled his eyes. “Cid, this is my girlfriend, Vervain. Vervain, this is Cid, Warden of Ice Block One,” Az waved his hand toward the clear building to our left.
“Warden of what?” I asked as I held my hand out for the demon to shake.
“Ice Block One,” Cid waved a clawed hand toward the building behind him. “It's made of ice and it's a prison, so instead of a cell block, it's an ice block. We put the bad guys on ice,” he chuckled. “Carmax is the warden of Ice Block Two,” he waved a hand to the building on the opposite side of the path. “Does a good job at it too. We're always competing for employee of the month.”
“Ah,” I made a polite sound. “I thought it was glass.”
“Nope, it's magic ice,” Cid winked at me. “Real ice couldn't withstand these temperatures.”
“So that whole thing about people in Hell wanting ice water isn't so accurate then,” I made a considering sound.
“Yeah, not so much,” Cid laughed.
“Why ice then?” I looked over the clear walls, understanding now why they didn't need support beams or a framework.
“The extreme temperature differences freak people out,” Cid shrugged and cast the large igloos a glance. “You take them from the heat into the chill and they always start whimpering. Hey, you want a tour?”
“Um,” I looked at Azrael for
help.
“We're in a bit of a hurry,” Azrael saved me. “Why don't you just walk the path with us and you can tell Vervain about it from here?”
“Oh, sure,” he looked a little disappointed but then brightened and waved us forward. “Come on then.”
“So your name is Sid?” I asked as I followed. “As in Sid Vicious?”
“Nope, it's Cid as in one of the greatest demons of all,” he waggled his brows at me. “It's with a C not an S but I can be vicious when it's needed.”
“I've no doubt,” I nodded.
“Each building is five stories tall,” Cid fell back so he could walk beside me, even though that meant he had to walk off the path. I guess it really didn't matter to him but when I saw the way his taloned feet stuck to the ground with each slurping step, I was glad Azrael had warned me not to wander off the path. “The transparent walls allow us to double our output with less effort.”
“Excuse me?” I glanced at Cid but my main attention was focused on the buildings we were walking between.
“Well, everyone is being tortured but they also get to see their neighbors tortured too. It ups the fear factor.” Cid waved toward one of the cells where a man was being chased through a dark forest by a werewolf. “As you can see, the space in each cell is limitless, we are merely viewing a portion of it for control purposes.”
“Is that-” I stopped, gasping, as the werewolf caught up with the man and did something entirely unexpected.
“He was pedophile,” Azrael's hand slid to the small of my back. “The punishment is appropriate.”
“Where's the people who talk at the theater?” I asked dryly.
“Firefly!” Cid shouted and pointed at me. “Totally! This is that special Hell.”
“But that makes werewolves look bad,” I looked away, a little offended that they'd turn an image of a Froekn into a rapist, no matter what the man deserved.
“Hey,” Cid held his hands up at his sides, “we didn't come up with all of this. It's not my fault.”
