‘I called around at the house in Chelsea and the girls said you weren’t home,’ Claudia said. ‘Don’t tell me you’re still holed up with Edoardo.’
‘I’m coming back on Saturday,’ Bella said. ‘I’m meeting Julian at the airport.’
‘What’s he going to think when he hears you’ve spent the last week or so with another man?’ Claudia asked.
Bella moved away from the bed as if that would put some distance between her and her conflicted feelings. ‘Mum, I’m not going to go ahead with the engagement. I want to talk to Julian in person about it. I don’t think it’s fair to him to do it on the phone.’
Claudia gave a little scoffing noise. ‘That thug has got under your skin, hasn’t he?’ she said. ‘I knew he would. I told you what he’s up to. He wants you for your pedigree. Nothing else.’
Bella’s hand tightened on the phone. ‘Edoardo is not a thug,’ she said. ‘He’s a gentle and caring man. You don’t know him. He’s not what you think at all.’
‘You’ve been sleeping with him, haven’t you?’ Claudia said.
‘Mum, I don’t want to have this conversation with you.’
‘He only wants you for your money,’ Claudia said. ‘That’s why he won’t allow you to give me any. He wants it all to himself.’
‘No, that’s not true,’ Bella said, springing to his defence with all the emotion she had tried for so long to keep under wraps. It came bubbling out of her like a drain that had finally been unblocked. ‘He’s not offering to marry me. He won’t marry anyone. It’s because of his past. He suffered terribly as a child. You have no idea of what he’s been through. He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I won’t have you or anyone say such horrible things about him.’
‘You silly little fool,’ Claudia said. ‘I suppose you fancy yourself in love with him, do you?’
Bella looked out of the window to where Edoardo was coming back across the fields with Fergus. He looked up and smiled at her, raising his hand in a wave. She smiled and waved back, her heart feeling as if someone had pressed it between two book ends. ‘I think I have always loved him,’ she said, but her mother had already ended the call.
* * *
Edoardo was clearing the last of the snow from the driveway when Bella came out to him. She was dressed in a pom-pom hat and mittens and looked so adorably cute he felt as if someone had grabbed him inside his chest. She had a little frown on her face and he put the shovel to one side so he could gather her hands in his. ‘Why the long face?’ he asked.
She blew out a breath that misted in front of her face. ‘Nothing…’
He pushed up her chin. ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘You were smiling when I waved to you half an hour ago. What’s happened?’
She chewed at her lower lip. ‘I had a talk to my mother.’
‘And?’
Her shoulders went down. ‘I told her I’m not going to prop her up any more. She didn’t like hearing it. She hung up on me.’
Edoardo gathered her close. ‘You did the right thing,’ he said. ‘For too long you’ve been the parent in that relationship.’
She looked up at him with those big brown eyes. ‘I also told her I’m not going ahead with my engagement. I’m going back to London on Saturday to talk to Julian.’
He studied her features for a moment’s silence. ‘I see.’
The tip of her tongue slipped out to moisten her lips. ‘I think you’re right,’ she said. ‘I need more time to think about my future.’ She paused for a moment, her eyes still meshed with his. ‘You were right about something else.’ Another little pause. ‘I’m not in love with him. I don’t think I was ever in love with him.’
‘What made you finally realise that?’ Edoardo asked.
There was something in her eyes as she held his gaze that tugged on his heart like a small child pulling at his mother’s skirt. ‘I guess I must have finally grown up,’ she said. ‘Took me long enough, didn’t it?’
He put her from him and stepped a couple of strides away, shoving a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Bella,’ he said. ‘I told you what I was prepared to offer. We can continue our affair, but that’s all it will ever be.’
She looked at him with such raw longing that the tug on his heart became almost painful. ‘We could have such a great future together,’ she said.
‘Your father trusted me to keep you safe,’ Edoardo said. ‘He didn’t want you to throw your life away on an impulse. What you’re doing now is exactly what he was worried about. Ten days ago you were determined to marry this Bellamy fellow, now you think you’ve suddenly developed feelings for me. Who’s it going to be next week, or next month?’
‘I haven’t suddenly developed feelings for you,’ she said. ‘These are not new feelings. I think they’ve been here all the time. I’m still getting my head around them. I need some time to think. These last few days have been amazing…but I’m not sure I can settle for an affair. I want the whole fairy tale.’
Edoardo let out a heavy sigh and brought her close again, resting his head on top of hers. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Bella,’ he said. ‘But I just can’t make those sorts of promises.’ He breathed in the scent of her hair, felt her body melt against him like she was a part of him. He had never wanted anyone like he wanted her. He had thought his desire for her would have burned out by now but if anything it had become even more intense. He ached for her. But making a commitment to her, or to anyone, was beyond his capabilities. He could not envisage allowing someone—even someone as adorable and endearing as Bella—to have the power to abandon him.
He was the one who left when the time came.
He was the one who locked his feelings away so no one could exploit them.
He was the one who never loved.
Bella’s infatuation with him would soon end. He was sure of it. She had fallen in and out of love ever since she’d hit her teens. Their little fling would run its course and she would go back to London and slot back into her high-society life.
At least this way she would never know how much he would miss her when she went.
* * *
Edoardo rose early the next morning. Not that he’d had a lot of sleep, but then neither had Bella, when it came to that. Making love with her during the night, knowing that she was leaving within the next twenty-four hours, had deeply unsettled him in spite of his resignation that things between them could go no further. He was used to distancing himself when relationships ran their course. He never suffered agonies of conscience or regret. He cut loose and moved on. Why, then, should it be any different this time? But something about the way Bella had curled up in his arms with her head resting against his chest had made something work loose inside his chest. Every time he took a breath, he felt it catch.
During the long hours before dawn, he had found himself dreaming of a future with her, of them living together at Haverton Manor as husband and wife. Of her happy laughter filling the empty rooms and halls of the house. He even thought of other laughter—the laughter of children, their children, running through the house, turning it into the home it was meant to be.
He tried to blink away the thoughts but they came back like moths circling around a light.
He could have it all.
He could have Bella and Haverton Manor.
They could build a family together, a solid, happy future.
She could leave him just like her mother had left Godfrey: devastated, alone, miserable.
The old panic seized him. How long before Bella wanted the bright lights of the city instead of his company? How long before her interest in him waned—a week? A month? A year? How could he live on that knife-edge? Every day would be an agony of wondering if it was going to be the last. He was used to disappointment. He had taught himself to always be prepared for it. It was easier to have nothing than to have everything and then lose it.
But then an even more disturbing thought joined the others. What if she didn’t car
e for him at all? What if her little fling with him had been nothing more than payback all along? She had been vocal right from the start about her fury at him inheriting her childhood home. What better way to get back at him than pretend to be in love with him only to walk away so the press could pity or pillory him in equal measure?
He turned to his computer in an effort to distract himself, but as he pulled up the newspapers online, his eyes started to narrow in anger. It seemed he didn’t have to wait in agonised anticipation for Bella’s betrayal.
It was already there for everyone to see.
* * *
Bella came downstairs after sleeping in until ten in the morning. Edoardo had kept her awake for hours making passionate love with her. She could still feel the movement of his body in hers with each step she took. She wondered if he was feeling the wrench as she was about leaving for London the following day. Was that why there had been that edge of desperation in his love-making last night? He had held her for hours, his arms wrapped around her as if he never wanted to let her go. She had longed for him to say the words she most longed to hear, but he had said nothing. She was hoping her trip back to London would show him how much she had come to mean to him. Surely he would soon see how empty the days and nights were without her?
He was proud and private. It would take him a while to see what he was throwing away; it would take him even longer to admit to it. But after last night she felt a little glow of confidence burning inside her. It had felt like he loved her last night. He hadn’t said the words out loud but his body had said them for him. All he needed was some time to come to terms with his feelings. He was used to locking them away. He was used to denying them. But how long could he deny the powerful connection they had forged? It wasn’t just great sex. It was a connection that went far deeper than that. She felt close to him in a way she had never felt with anyone before. He had let her in to the most private part of his being. She knew him now. She knew his values, his strengths and weaknesses, his true self.
Bella pushed open the study door and found him standing stiffly in front of the window. ‘Edoardo?’ she said.
He turned and raked her from head to foot with his gaze. It wasn’t one of his smouldering ‘I want to make love with you’ looks. It was much more menacing than that. ‘I’ve spoken with the lawyer,’ he said in a cold, hard voice that was nothing like the deep, sexy rumble she had heard during the night and early hours of the morning.
‘Pardon?’
He shoved a sheaf of papers towards her on the desk. ‘You’re on your own,’ he said. ‘I’m no longer your financial guardian.’
Bella swallowed and took an uncertain step towards the desk. ‘What are you talking about? What do you mean? I don’t understand…’
His eyes were like blue-green chips of ice. ‘I want you out of here within the hour,’ he said. ‘Don’t bother packing. I’ll get Mrs Baker to do it when she comes back, plus everything else of yours left in the nursery. I want nothing of yours left in this house.’
‘Edoardo… What are you say—?’
‘It was a good plan.’ His hands were tight fists by his rigid sides. ‘Very convincing, too. Not many people manage to pull the wool over my eyes but I have to hand it to you—you came pretty damn close.’
Bella felt a chill freeze her spine. ‘What plan? I’m not following you. You’re not making sense. Why are you being so beastly all of a sudden?’
He swung the computer screen around so she could see it. ‘That’s what you’ve done,’ he said. ‘You planned it from the start, didn’t you? It was the perfect revenge. I can’t believe how well you set me up.’
Bella looked at the computer screen where he had pulled up a selection of online newspapers. The headlines made her heart screech to a stop:
Self-Made Tycoon’s Tragic Past Revealed
Former Bad Boy Victim of Child Abuse
Affair with Heiress Heals Wounded Heartthrob
There was a photograph of Edoardo kissing her in front of Haverton Manor. It had been taken only a couple of days ago—obviously through a telephoto lens, as Bella couldn’t recall seeing anyone about. But then she remembered the journalists she had run into in the village. Had they been spying on them? Had they dug a little deeper in to his past? She looked up at him in bewilderment. ‘You think I set this up?’ she asked.
‘Don’t give me that doe-eyed, innocent look,’ he said through tight lips. ‘Get the hell out of here before I throw you out.’
‘I didn’t do this,’ Bella said. ‘How can you think I would do something like this? Don’t you know me at all?’
His eyes flashed pure hatred at her. ‘You were the only person who could have done it,’ he said. ‘I’ve told no one about my past. Not a damn soul. Now the whole bloody world knows about it, thanks to you. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. You’ve always been a little two-faced cow. You wanted to get me back for not agreeing to your engagement. Well, you can marry whomever you like. I don’t give a damn.’
Bella was reeling with shock, hurt and disbelief. ‘I can’t believe you think I would do this to you on purpose,’ she said. ‘There were journalists in the village when I went down for milk yesterday. I didn’t tell you because—’
‘Because you lured them down here with a tell-all exclusive, didn’t you?’ he said with a snarl. ‘What did you think that last headline was going to do—force me to get down on bended knee and ask you to marry me?’
Bella glanced at the Affair with Heiress Heals Wounded Heartthrob headline. She swallowed tightly and looked at him again. ‘I didn’t say anything to them about…’ She flushed and dropped her gaze. ‘I might have mentioned something to my mother…’
He let out an expletive. ‘So the two of you cooked this up, did you?’ he said. ‘I should’ve guessed. That’s why she came down a couple of days ahead of you, to scope out the scene.’
‘No,’ Bella said, her heart sinking in despair. ‘That’s not what happened at all. I didn’t do it on purpose. I just mentioned you’d had a terrible childhood. She was saying mean things about you and I thought—’
‘You thought you’d have a cosy little gossip and destroy everything I’ve worked so hard for,’ he said bitterly.
‘Why does people knowing about your past destroy anything?’ Bella asked. ‘You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. People will admire you for being so resilient. I know they will.’
His eyes glittered with contempt. ‘I don’t expect you to understand,’ he bit out. ‘You love all the attention. You’re never out of the damn papers. You couldn’t have picked a better way to get back at me. I value my privacy about everything. You knew that.’ He curled his lip. ‘All that talk of love and wanting the fairy tale—what a load of rubbish. You don’t love anyone but yourself. You never have.’
Bella was struggling not to break down. Only her pride kept her from having an emotional meltdown. She was so hurt, so devastated that he believed her to be capable of such loathsome behaviour. But it wasn’t just his lack of trust that hurt her the most. He was pushing her away, locking her out, rejecting her. It was so crushing to be dismissed as if she had meant nothing to him other than a temporary diversion—a pretty toy that hadn’t turned out to be all it had promised to be. If he cared even an iota for her, wouldn’t he be doing everything to try to understand how this had come about? Wouldn’t he understand that her openness was not wrong, just different from his need for privacy? ‘I guess that’s it, then,’ she said, straightening her shoulders. ‘I’ll get on my way.’
‘I never want to see you again,’ he said as he glowered at her broodingly. ‘Do you understand? Never.’
‘Don’t worry,’ she said with a toss of her head as she swung away to the door. ‘You won’t.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IT WAS weeks before the furore in the press died down. Just about every person who had ever had anything to do with Edoardo during his childhood came out of the woodwork to give an exclusive. The worst of it was that
even though his stepfather was now dead, his new wife and family sprang to his defence as if he had been a plaster saint. No doubt having been assured that no one could prosecute a dead man, they made him out to be the victim of a smear campaign.
It totally disgusted Bella. She felt sick every time she saw another article. She felt to blame, even though all she had tried to do was make her mother understand how difficult his childhood had been for Edoardo.
Her mother was unrepentant, however. Bella had hoped Claudia might contact Edoardo and apologise, but her mother seemed to relish the fact that his tragic past was being talked about by every man and woman on the street.
Bella had thought about contacting him herself and explaining that it had been her mother who had given the tell-all interview to the press, but she knew he wouldn’t believe her. He didn’t trust her. He didn’t trust anyone.
The lawyer had contacted Bella and she now had full control of her finances. But it was a bittersweet victory. She had more money than she knew what to do with.
But she felt terribly, achingly lonely.
The nights were the worst. Her friends would try to get her to go out with them to party or for dinner but she preferred to stay at home, curl up on the sofa and mindlessly watch whatever was on television. Sometimes she didn’t even have the energy to switch it on; instead she would sit staring blankly into space, wondering how someone with so much wealth could be so miserably, desperately unhappy.
Julian had been gracious about her breaking off their relationship, which more or less confirmed that her decision to end it had been the right one. He had seemed more concerned that she would still donate a large sum to his mission. If he had truly loved her, wouldn’t he have fought just a little bit for her?
Which brought her thoughts right back to Edoardo. He hadn’t fought for her either. He hadn’t even given her the benefit of the doubt. He had evicted her from his life as if she meant nothing to him.
Uncovering the Silveri Secret Page 13
