by Moira McTark
As he lay her across the bed, undressing her with slow, determined care, she took his face between her hands and held him there a moment. His blue eyes focused on her, leaving her nearly breathless. Turning his mouth into her open palm, he kissed and circled his tongue in a gentle caress before returning to the task of peeling off the light layers of clothing. When she tried to move, to help him, he pushed her back with a gentle pressure and shook his head. Then he ran his hands over her arms and placed them above her head.
“No, Amber. Let me touch you. Let me make love to you.”
Make love? The meaningful words made her want to swing her leg over him and wrestle him back to the bed, cover him in her own wet kisses, touch him with her own possessive hands. But not this time. This time, she would lie back and relinquish control. She would surrender to his touch and savor every second of it.
When she was stripped bare, Brian quickly removed his own clothes and knelt over her, one knee wedged between her legs. He leaned down to kiss her and she could feel the soft hair on his thigh tickle the swollen folds of her aroused sex. She wanted to pull him on top of her and beg him to fill her, but every time she moved to invite him in, he pressed a hand to her hip or chest and stilled her before resuming his intimate attentions.
She moaned quietly, rolling her head back to the side as he nuzzled behind her ear, brushing his lips against the shell and teasing his tongue into to the whorl. His hands traced lazy swirls over her full breasts, grazing her nipples until they became so hard they ached. She arched her back, pressing her nipples toward him, only to have his warm hand urge her chest down. When she resisted no more, he moved his mouth down to her collarbone and pressed his mouth against her skin, pulling with a light suction. He dragged his mouth down over her breast toward the erect peak, kissing his way toward the nipple, decreasing the suction as he closed in, until his lips merely grazed the bunched ridges around the hard tip. Flicking with his tongue and then probing with his mouth’s pressure, he closed his teeth against the erect tip lightly and tugged, brushing his tongue over the trapped bud.
Amber cried out, fighting the overwhelming urge to grab his hair and press him against her. And when he opened wide over her breast, drawing her nipple into his mouth with a strong pull, she felt the coil of climax tightening in her depths and her hot juices trickling out of her, down over the curve of her buttocks. He suckled against her breast, alternating between hard pulls and soft sucks until Amber could feel herself nearly ready to come.
“Brian, please, I’m so close.”
He released her nipple from his mouth, laving it with one last swirl of his tongue and began to run his kisses further down her abdomen. Every time he moved, she felt his cock throbbing as it brushed against her. He was so hard and swollen, she ached to have him inside of her.
“Soon.” He nipped at the skin beside her belly button with his teeth and then dropped a deep suctioning kiss against it to soothe. “I want you to wait.”
He ran the tip of his tongue against the outer ridge of her belly button. More moisture dripped from her core and it took every bit of willpower she could muster to stay still.
He kissed lower, backing down the bed until his mouth was poised above her strip of soft curls. He blew into the light hair and settled his hands against her hips. Splaying his fingers wide over her abdomen, he ran his hands back up her torso to her breasts and gently captured her nipples. Amber’s heart was thudding at the light sensation, frustrated by the barely-there touch and the close proximity of his mouth to her mound. Soon, she reminded herself. She looked down at him, realized that Brian was staring back, his mouth but an inch from the aching source of her need. Her inner walls clenched at the sight.
Though he had asked her to wait, she couldn’t be still any longer. Holding his gaze, she tilted her pelvis up in offering, spreading her thighs wider. Brian moved his open mouth so that it nearly covered her now exposed inner flesh, but did not touch. He exhaled a deep, warm breath over her clit, making her cry out, tilting further to him as he pulled his mouth back and looked at the valley between her legs.
“God, you are so beautiful. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? I can see your pouty hole clenching, dripping wet, begging me to fill you.” He was so close she could feel the heat coming off his skin. He looked up into her eyes. “Do you want me to touch you?” he asked.
She clenched again. Barely able to keep from screaming her plea, she cried, “Yes, please!”
He still held her nipples between his fingers and, as he lowered his mouth to cover her open folds, he tightened his hold on them. His tongue lapped against the length of her slit, ending with a probing pressure at her aching nub. He sucked it into his mouth, rubbing it with his tongue, while pulling hard against her nipples with his fingers. She gasped—it was too much. Her pleasure rocketed. Higher, more, faster it built until she screamed, coming harder than she ever had before. Hot flames of heat licked over every nerve as Amber climaxed in waves of tight pulsing pleasure, her hips bucking involuntarily as she spasmed against his mouth and hands.
He sucked and bit and stroked with his tongue over her engorged clit, until the last ripples of her orgasm passed and she began to writhe anew under his dedicated attention.
“Brian,” she begged, as he pulled back from her and dropped his hands to stroke between her legs. He spread her lips wide and slid two fingers deep into her, making her body constrict around his hand. He smiled, thrusting slowly into her a few times, and then withdrawing to smear her juices around the lips.
“I need you,” he groaned, his tone sounding desperate.
God, she wanted it to mean more than in the immediate sense. She could almost convince herself that there was some promise there, but she knew better. She watched him as he ran his fingers around her folds, painting her with her own cream, smearing it into her lips, in slow circles down around her buttocks.
She moaned as he dipped into her, stroking from inside. She was starting to rock against him, needing more than his hands and his mouth to invade her. She wanted his cock pressing between her legs. And he was ready. He retrieved a condom and quickly covered himself, positioning the thick head at her hole.
“I need you, too,” she heard herself whisper as he leveled his muscular chest over her. He eased inside, finding no resistance in the drenched channel. She’d never wanted him more, never needed to be connected to him more.
He filled her, pressing in as she pushed up and over him, wanting to hold him completely within her body. His width stretched her open, making her moan as she took him completely, giving against his depth. When she sheathed him to the hilt within her taut walls, he paused, pressing even further until she began to seize around his shaft, shuddering as he moved in and out of her, making sure to brush her clitoris at every slow stroke.
She received his thrusts, slow and steady, again and again. Felt his muscles ripple and bunch with each motion, tensing tighter as he drew closer, bringing her along to another crest. At last, she cried out, clenching so hard around him, Brian shuddered and gave in with a roar as she raised her hips to match his last thrust, she gasped, “I need you too.”
Chapter Nine
For a long time they lay together, Brian’s face resting against her stomach, his chest over her hip. The damp shocks of sandy hair, sticking up invitingly from where she’d curled her fingers through it, grabbed it, held it while Brian had buried himself within her, now seemed forbidden territory. She wanted to curl her fingers through it, smoothing the mess only to ruffle it again. But that wasn’t what happened after they were finished. After they had used each other for the night. No, she would get up, walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. She would talk herself out of the feelings that boiled in her heart. She would wash her body and clear her mind. And when she returned to her bed, Brian would be gone. That was how it went. What she was supposed to do. Only tonight she was afraid to move.
She could sense that something was different and a sadness filled
her heart when she realized the change in tone probably signaled goodbye. Her chest and throat tightened at the thought, but she resisted the gasps and chokes that threatened to come. She would wait until he was gone, and only then would she give in to her despair.
She took a deep breath and inhaled his masculine scent. Tears perched at the corners of her eyes. His hand began to move lightly over her hip and thigh. A gentle touch. Light. Fingertips grazing her skin in slow circles. It wasn’t seduction. It felt more like a simple passing of time, enjoyment, perhaps a study of the one he was with. It was tenderness and that was enough for her to confirm her suspicion.
Tenderness seemed almost a cruelty to her now, knowing it meant the end. She couldn’t bear to feel it any longer, to know what they could have been—maybe what they should have been. She pushed up from the bed, forcing herself to be cool. Brian eased off her, but still refused to meet her eyes. She understood. Giving in for only one brief second as she stood up from the bed, she turned back and ran her fingers through his hair and down the side of his face. Time to let go of the fantasy. She willed her legs to move, one step at a time, to the bathroom where she shut the door behind her. Starting the tap, she sat on the flat edge of the tub, letting the water warm and the tears roll down her cheeks.
What was she doing? Crying over a fantasy? It was ridiculous and yet she couldn’t stop. She turned on the spray and rose to step into the spacious shower. The water rinsed her face, sluiced over her body, between her breasts, down her back, buttocks and legs. She would force her emotions back into check. She would reorder her life. Regain control. She knew finding someone else should be on the list, but the idea of another man was something she couldn’t bring herself to consider.
And then, through the distortion of a clear shower curtain decorated with tiny stars, she saw the bathroom door open in a dark wide void, only to be filled with the huge, naked mass of Brian. Her heart stalled. What is he doing in here?
This wasn’t part of the routine. She smoothed her soaked hair out of her eyes and pulled back the curtain an inch. He met her stare as he leaned against the doorframe, comfortable in his nudity, but clearly disconcerted by his attempt to infiltrate her after-sex sanctuary.
He rubbed his jaw and looked around at the bathroom. “So you had a crush on me in high school?”
Amber blinked water and confusion from her eyes. “What?”
“That’s what you said that first day at the train. Who else did you crush over back then?”
Defenses came slamming in as she forced her expression to remain flat.
“I don’t know…what do you care?” Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt the skin across her body tighten uncomfortably regardless of the water beating down against her shoulders and back.
He pushed the curtain open further. “I’m curious. Who? Just one name, who else?”
Amber looked around the room, shifting her eyes from one spot to the next, growing more anxious by the moment. This was the most uncomfortable she’d ever been with Brian. “I can’t remember their names. I mean, it was so long ago. I only remembered you because I nearly walked into you. This is silly. What are you getting at? Trying to figure out if there’s anyone else I’d let jump me on sight?”
“No, damn it!” He shoved the curtain aside and grabbed her shoulders. “I want to know if it’s true. If there was just the one guy, and he—I—turned out to be worst disappointment of your entire life.”
When she found her voice, it was barely a whisper. “Who have you been talking to? What did they say?”
His brows furrowed deeply as he leaned in, closing the distance between them. Only inches apart, she saw what she had thought was anger, was actually anguish. Desperation clouded his eyes.
“Brian—”
“Just tell me the truth.”
“Yes… No. I mean it’s both.” She sighed and looked into the face that had haunted her for years. “You were the only one. But, this has not been a disappointment. Look, Brian, even back then I had enough sense to know that I didn’t really know you. Sure, I knew enough to build the foundation for an incredible fantasy, but that’s all you’ve ever been. A fantasy I used to keep everyone else away. Not intentionally. But when I saw you, when you smiled at me, I felt something incredible. Something no one else made me feel. It was overwhelming and intense. I waited, but I’ve never felt it with anyone else. No one could compete with what I wanted.”
Brian stood stock still, his face unreadable.
“When we ran into each other after all of these years, that feeling swept through me and I didn’t want to let it go. I didn’t expect you to be the man I dreamt up in my head. I wanted to find out who you really were, and for a while, it was even better than my dream. But I guess nothing lasts, and the rose colored glasses have to come off sooner or later. I was angry, frustrated because I’d been so close to finding someone who really moved me. Made me feel everything.”
He took a step closer. Licked his lips, but Amber continued, needing to get it all out.
“That night at the bar, with the drink—when you followed me home…the chemistry was so strong, I still couldn’t resist you…I gave in. Lived in the fantasy with the body and face and voice that started it all. Only, every now and then, I see the guy from that first night in you, and my heart starts to break because I want you so bad. But, that’s not who you are with me. And now, I’m pretty sure I know where this is going.” Her voice cracked as she admitted the truth. How could she make herself so vulnerable to this man?
Brian’s voice was ragged when he spoke. “I’m sorry. I’ve acted like such an ass. I can’t stand the things I’ve said to you, the way I’ve treated you. I don’t understand it. I felt used and angry, and I let myself lash out. It’s not the guy I am, I don’t know how I let myself be that way around you. There is no excuse. But even as angry and shut down as I’ve been, every night I leave here, I see some other piece of who you are. I walk through your apartment, see the comic you taped to your fridge door, and laugh. The music you’ve been listening to is what I have in my car. The books you read, I’ve read. Your friends are my friends. The conversation from that first night was so…right.”
Amber’s throat was tight as he spoke. She’d wanted so much to believe she wasn’t the only one who had felt the connection between them. Needed to.
“I know you are the woman I’ve been waiting for. It’s why, even when I believed you used me to cheat on your boyfriend, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Wanting to taste you, hold you, touch you.”
The bathroom was filled with steam, but the emotion behind his eyes was crystal clear.
“No woman has ever affected me like this. I don’t know how, when I was trying so hard not to, but I think I fell in love with you. Damn it, I know I did. And it drives me crazy that every night I leave, you come in here and wash every trace of me off of you. I don’t deserve it, but I can’t help wanting to have some bit of me stay with you, even when I’m gone.”
She blinked back the tears threatening to pour over her lids and extended her hand to reach for his, letting the water stream down her arm and pool on the floor. Brian took the offering and let her pull him into the shower, closing the curtain behind him. The water sprayed over them as they stared at each other for a moment, and then Amber rose up onto her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. He slid an arm around her back, pulling her against him, as he lowered his head to graze her mouth with his lips. She tightened the hold around his neck and tilted her head, opened her mouth and pulled him into a deep kiss, her tongue inviting his with a wet caress. Between them, Brian’s cock grew, filling out and rising to stand between Amber’s wet legs. She moved her hips to caress the length of him with her slippery nether-lips.
Brian groaned and pressed his face into her neck, moving in rhythm with her, stroking them both into arousal. Suddenly he stopped and pulled back to look her in the eyes. “You said you were living out your fantasies w
ith me. Have we hit all of them already?”
Laughing, feeling free and relaxed, but for the tightening coil of arousal building again within her loins, she asked, “Didn’t you hear? I’ve been working on these for years. We haven’t even made a dent.”
His erection bulged in response to her words and she squeezed her legs together a little over it. Reaching for the bottle of baby oil in the hanging rack over the shower head, she flipped open the lid and poured a generous portion over their touching bodies, rubbing her hard nipples against him to smear it around.
Brian cupped her breasts in his palms and massaged across the peaks before running his slick palms over her shoulders and down her back to where they kneaded her buttocks pressing her close against him. “So would you care to enlighten me with a few highlights?”
She could feel the blood rising to the surface of her skin. It was funny, this was the man she’d been living out her fantasies with for the past month and suddenly, when he’d explained that he wanted her, in a real and solid way, she was shy. That wouldn’t do. Not after the incredible rush she’d experienced with each fantasy lived out. So she smiled and in a demure voice, said, “Well, there was a little something to do with some silk restraints. First me, then you. I’d have to decide how much you need to be punished, after all.”
His cock pulsed and pressed at her. “Interesting. I like it.”
Brian slid one hand over her hip, down her thigh to the back of her knee, and pulled her leg up against him. Amber slipped her hand between them and stroked the oil-slathered shaft, up to the head of his cock as she positioned it to enter her. Brian lifted her other leg, holding her weightless in his arms, and let her slide down the thick length of his cock until she was seated at the hilt. He throbbed within her core, building her pleasure though neither moved. Brian licked around the edge of her ear, shooting chills over her skin and making her pussy contract hard around him.
