by AJ Adams
I wavered, just a split-second, at the sight of the truncheon. It really was a fraction of a moment, but he knew all the same.
“No means no. Anytime you say no, everything stops.”
The growly voice, so full of understanding, pulled me back in. The warm hands heated, the soft lips burning as the kisses slid down my neck and on to my breasts, teasing my nipples into tight buds. The world shifted and turned into a series of snapshot views.
His hands slid behind my shoulders, and mine tangled in the hair in the back of his neck.
His hot hardness slid over my clit, sparking silver shivers of pleasure.
Lips on my waist as mine explored a smooth shoulder.
His fingers spread over my sides, and my thighs rubbed against his muscled hardness.
Soft murmurs of sweetness and nails were running over my skin; his scent was deepening and heating as we moved together.
My breath coming in gasps as his tongue slowly licked my thigh.
His gasp as my fingertip ran over the rim of his hardness.
The breathless anticipation as I stroked on the condom.
The slow sweetness of his loving triggering a cascade of joy.
His laugh as I moaned with delight.
My giggle as he shivered with emotion.
It was a duet of gentleness and tenderness set to passion.
I floated on the edge of pleasure, enjoying the sensations flooding through me, anticipating the delight about to come. The heated touches turned electric, shortening my breath, generating an avalanche of silky shivers. I hugged him close, burying my face in the soft skin of his neck and preparing to throw myself into that wave of bliss.
“Don’t stop,” I whimpered.
He stopped.
One second I was tautness waiting to unspring; the next he was gently moving away.
“Don’t stop!” I was clutching at his shoulders. “Oh, please, don’t stop!”
He looked gobsmacked. “Don’t stop? Ay, corazon! I heard stop!”
Dear God the man had iron self-control! To stop without a word or look! It was incredible. Gratitude and wonder flooded through me. This was a man to put all my trust in.
I wound my legs round him, my ankles scissoring in the small of his back. “Oh, please! Never stop!”
“Brujita preciosa! Corazón!”
We were off again, the sweet rhythm quickly sending me back into heaven. The truncheon doing its magic deep inside me, waves of delight building on each other until I was back on that crest. I savoured the feeling, that tingling tightness swelling inside me, cutting into my breath, supercharging my skin, and after floating on the precipice, glorying in bliss, I let go and drowned in ecstasy.
Chapter Fifteen: Quique
It happened when she came into the bedroom, wearing a fluffy blue towel and dripping water everywhere. I took one look, and it was total wood.
She looked like a wet dream, and I mean that literally. There was water dripping from her hair, running down her neck and over her collarbones.
I drank her in, and then it was me drowning.
She had a long body with full breasts and generous hips, both outlined by the wet towel. Her legs were sweetly curved and also gleaming with droplets. Even her eyelashes were slicked together.
“Is cleaning a Kaibil superpower?”
Sassy as ever, the bruja. I was an inch away from tossing her onto the bed and licking her all over, but I remembered the locks on her door and the momentary panic in her voice. Being tortured had brought back some old memories for her, and from what I saw, she hadn’t finished processing them yet.
It hits people differently, being hurt. I don’t mind it, never have done. I feel pain, but I can ride it out. It’s one of the things that makes me good at what I do. The bruja was hard as nails and smart, but from what I’d observed, she’d been outmanoeuvred and hurt in the worst way.
Rape isn’t just a physical thing; it tears the soul. I guess that’s why it’s such a potent weapon. When you rape a woman, you violate her as well as her entire family and circle of acquaintances.
When I was with the Kaibiles, we used to threaten insurgent villagers with it. Anyone thinking of rebellion, of setting any kind of opposition to the government, would think twice if it meant seeing their wives, sisters and daughters suffer. Just knowing it would happen kept people in line and made our job, keeping control, easier.
We used it as part of our interrogation technique, too, with prisoners, female and male. Rape isn’t something I enjoy, but I have never doubted its usefulness. On several occasions, when someone had a bit of information I wanted, well, let’s say that I was willing to think of Guatemala and do the dirty deed. It’s a cruel act, but that’s war for you. It’s a nasty business all round.
So I understood what the bruja was going through, but we didn’t talk about it because she made it clear she wanted to forget. Also, from the way she said the man was dead, I gathered she’d blown him away. That increased my respect for her. Messing with the bruja was clearly a dangerous occupation.
I stayed to eat because I was starving and because I was enjoying looking at her. In the pub she was crisp and efficient. Plus, she’d annoyed the hell out of me, so I’d been thinking of fucking her over, not fucking her. In her own kitchen, wearing those silky PJs that clung to every curve and showing me her vulnerable side, she was a goddess.
I ached for her, imagining what it would be like to have her. When she scrambled eggs, I looked at her jiggling butt and pictured her on top of me, reverse cowgirl style. When she buttered toast, I was thinking how good it would feel if she stroked my cock. Watching her pour tea almost made me blow on the spot.
She had no idea that I was running a porno movie in my mind. She just got on with her work, not talking but smiling at me in a friendly way. It made me feel good, as if I were connected to her. That was weird but enjoyable.
The food was amazing as always. The eggs were buttery and fluffy, the toast just perfect, with little black crunchy streaks, and she’d made some kind of fruit salad that had a real bite to it. It was a poem, that meal.
“I think it’s time I hit the hay.”
I was being given my marching orders but in the nicest possible way. The bruja was wiped, but she was so beautiful that I wanted to sweep her up in my arms. And then fuck her for hours. I wasn’t worried about that incident back in Oxford anymore, either. It had been tiredness; this wood wasn’t going anywhere until and unless it was buried in that soft damp body.
I was wondering how to put it to her when she suddenly put her hand on my arm. “Want to hit the hay with me?”
Forget what I said before about her having a fiend in hell working for her. The bruja was clearly in touch with angels, and I was in for a slice of heaven.
I was stripping her in my mind, thinking of all the things I’d do when she stiffened. It chilled me, that tight look in her eyes.
That’s when I realised how much I liked the bruja. She was a bitch all right, but she was brave and she fought fair. That look was courtesy of someone who’d not been man enough to take her on in a straight way.
If the fucker who’d raped her hadn’t already got his, I’d have blown him away. As it was, all I could do for her was to be there. It almost killed me, offering to play bodyguard, and that’s when she got me by the heartstrings.
“I’ve been waiting three years for the right man to come along. I reckon you’re him.”
Three years. Jesus fucking Christ. She’d been alone, untouched for three whole years. And she’d picked me to bring her back into the world.
It got to me, that trust. The visions of lust, of ravishing her, vanished. I wanted to be tender, to have her melt for me. To gentle her and cradle her.
Why on earth she’d picked me was a mystery. She could have had any man she wanted, just whistled him up. I’d seen that at the restaurant when the millionaire bankers, politicians and actors had lusted after her. This woman could have the world at her feet if she
wanted to.
I thought of how she looked after her family, keeping all of them under her wing as she fought off Smith, the Peckham Knaves and everyone else who wanted a piece of them. She did it alone, too, the bruja. She was tempered steel, and yet at her core there was this fear. She’d concealed it from everyone, but she’d let me in.
Her faith fucking petrified me. My hands were shaking as I took off her top, and I was shivering as I held her close to me. I was terrified I’d screw up and scare her or hurt her. I wanted it to be perfect for her.
I got it together and tried to remember everything I knew, every little thing I’d ever heard about pleasing a woman. I had the idea that if I got that all down, she’d be happy. So I was careful, exploring my way, half-scared I’d mess up and yet at the same time consumed with pride at being with her. That feeling soon turned into joy and pleasure.
“Quique, oh love, that’s heaven!”
“Oh, dear God, you’re amazing.”
“The way you touch me— more!”
When I thought she’d called a halt, I almost had a coronary. And when she looked at me and begged me never to stop, I forgot all about being perfect.
I lost myself in those grey eyes and gave her my soul. I sank into her, giving her everything I could.
I kissed, stroked, licked and caressed, delighting in her, and she gave herself to me completely. She opened her arms and then showed me the real Natalia. The steel vanished, and underneath there was a loving heart, a generous spirit and passion that burned like flame.
“That’s so good.” She wrapped herself around me, arching her body against mine. “I love the way you feel. The way you smell.”
I was cocooned in her arms, drowning in her sweetness. I don’t remember coming. I might have, but it wasn’t important. The whole experience was much more than a physical release or pleasure; this was discovering myself again. And then it was perfect bliss.
When I came back to earth, we were folded around each other like those Chinese symbols, yin and yang. A feeling of peace lodged itself in my bones.
“Quique.” Big eyes were gazing into mine. “It’s almost daytime already, love.”
Ohmigod she was going to kick me out!
She was stroking my hair and smiling. “Do you have to work, or would you like to stay and sleep?”
“I want to stay.” The words tore out of me, and I found myself clutching her. “Please.”
“Good.” She was warm and soft, totally relaxed. “I feel whole.” Those eyes were looking straight into mine again. “Thanks, love.” Her hands were gentle against my skin, her hair tickling my neck. “I’ll never forget this.”
God knows I should have said something. But at her words a rush of emotion overwhelmed me. It filled me, choking anything I might have said.
She closed her eyes, sighed contentedly, and then she was asleep. I lay there and watched her, uncertain of how it had happened. One thing was sure: I’d been focused on making sure she was good, but somehow I’d come out of it a new man.
When I’d walked into her place, I’d been on autopilot. Getting Natalia settled, making tea rich with sugar to help ease the shock, checking her hurts, making sure Smith had left no surprises—it was all part and parcel of the routine.
I’d taken care of business because that’s what I do, but all the time, deep inside, I’d been hurting. I had been certain I was a failure, so much so that I’d seriously thought about killing myself. Now I had snapped back, and I couldn’t believe how messed up I’d let myself become.
Lying with Natalia in my arms, I looked back and saw my marriage for what it really was. I’d loved Tina, but I didn’t like her much as a person. It surprised me, because I’d never realised it before.
Tina had many fine qualities and she was a beauty, but she was lazy. It was a red letter day if she poured me a beer. Me, I love to be busy. When we were first married, I worked day and night, and that was wrong of me, I admit it. But I changed, and the last couple of years I’d been pretty much nine-to-five.
I also took holidays and weekends, and I spent them with Tina. But that was a problem, too, because we were so different. My idea of a beach holiday is learning to surf or going diving, while all Tina does is lie on the beach, drinking mineral water.
Other couples enjoy different things and meet somewhere in the middle, but Tina couldn’t do that. For her, we had to spend our time together doing things she liked. I did what she wanted, but hanging about and shopping bored the fuck out of me, and sitting still drove me nuts, so being together actually made things worse.
I didn’t behave well. What I should have done is talk and insist on changes, but what I did was compensate myself by screwing hos. I never did it at home, but every time I went on a trip, I’d fuck around. I felt like I’d earned it.
Jesus, what a pendejo, right? Instead of whacking me like she should have, Tina took revenge by screwing about, as well. It escalated to a tit-for-tat war, and you know how that ended.
With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I could now see that Tina and I weren’t suited. We were too different to be happy together. What I’d said to James to salvage my pride was actually true: I’d have to let her go so she could find a man she could be happy with.
It brought me some peace, that knowledge. It wouldn’t be easy, because my head knew I was getting this right, but my heart wouldn’t find it easy to watch Tina with another man. If she picked that fuck Antonio, it would probably kill me not to rip him apart. And if Tina ever told anyone it was my fault we didn’t have kids—
“Quique,” Natalia was awake. “You okay?”
“Sure.”
Those grey eyes were looking straight into my soul. “Are you worried about something?”
“Of course not. Just thinking, that’s all.”
She knew I wasn’t telling the truth, but she didn’t push. “Okay, love.” She curled with her back into me and tugged my arm around her so we were spooning. “You feel good. I’m glad you’re here.”
She was asleep again in seconds. Me, I knew why I’d been so desperate to stay: it was because this woman had given me a chance to value myself again. I felt fantastic just being with her.
I could have fallen for her, but everything about Natalia from her rich curves to her take-charge attitude shouted that she was meant to be a matriarch. It was killing me, but I couldn’t be selfish. A life with me meant no kids. I couldn’t do that to her.
One comfort was that Natalia wasn’t planning to get attached. Regular girls, no matter whether they were Chinese office workers or Russian starlets, cling after a fuck. Natalia hadn’t. She’d also thanked me in a way that suggested we’d not be an item.
It was a pity, because under different circumstances we might have had something. Now that I was getting to know the real woman, I knew we were very much alike, Natalia and I. We might have made a go of it.
I stroked those soft, dark curls and for a moment imagined how it might be. But I knew I was kidding myself. We couldn’t be an item. Apart from everything else, she had her home and family here in London, all dependent on her. She couldn’t walk away. My home and work were back in Nuevo Laredo. The Zetas were my family, and I couldn’t walk away either.
It was a shame, but Natalia was taking the practical approach. Typical bruja! But in a way it made everything easier. We were good for each other, but it was temporary. We’d have an affair, heal each other, and in a few weeks we’d go our separate ways.
I would enjoy Natalia’s company, and I’d make it known I was seeing her. That would spread the word that I was moving on from Tina. Moreover, I now knew what to do about that, too. I edged out of bed and went to the kitchen to make my call. It was about midnight in Nuevo Laredo, but after two rings, Tina picked up.
“Hey.” Her voice was wary, hesitant. “Quique.”
“Tina, glad to have caught you up.” I was brisk, businesslike. “I’m in London and likely stuck for a few weeks.”
“I heard.”
“What?”
“I’ve cleared it with Kyle. If you have questions, ask him.”
She was silent. I knew her, you see, and I was certain she’d imagined me coming back and the two of us acting out a drama in front of everyone. That would give her the whip hand and allow her to decide if she wanted to stick around or not. This approach, being divorced without fanfare, wasn’t at all to her taste. That her cousin, the second most important man in the cartel next to the jefe had approved it shocked her.
I had her attention. Now for the threat.
“Tina, you can always call on me. However, don’t be stupid and cause trouble.”
“I’ll date who I want!”
Yes, she’d made the classic error. I knew she would.
“Tina, I don’t give a damn who you screw. But don’t let your private life interfere with business.”
“But—”
“If you stir up trouble, the jefe will protect the business, not you.”
There was a silence. Tina was thinking that Arturo would value me more than her. You see, it takes hundreds of thousands of dollars to train a Kaibil. To replace me would be difficult, especially because I was proven totally loyal a hundred times over.
“You know how the jefe is about business,” I reminded her.
Tina was thinking that I was an important Zeta asset, and she had no role whatsoever. If she started spreading rumours about me, it would impact on my effectiveness, and the jefe would be pissed. The last time that happened, twenty people had died, one being boiled alive.
“I’m his cousin,” Tina whispered.
Of course he would never hurt her, she was family, but he was quite capable of exiling her. He would do it with regret, but if she messed with business, she’d find herself in New York or Toronto with instructions not to come back. She’d lose her family, her home, everything.
“You’d like the States.”
Her voice trembled. “I understand.”
