by Iva Britt
Growing up, Lucy never had a boyfriend. She was just too busy trying to figure out who she was or what she wanted to be when she grew up. Now she almost cursed herself for not finding out this sort of thing sooner. She wished that she knew how to reciprocate the way Will was making her feel. She wanted nothing more than to please him.
After they’d kissed for a while, Will began to pull his pants down and lift Lucy’s skirts up so that their bare skin grazed against one another. “It’s still not too late,” he murmured against her, “You can tell me to stop.”
Lucy looked at him, and how his manhood was erect and ready to fulfill his carnal need. A part of Lucy was torn because she knew that if she committed this sin with Will and someone found out about it, her life would be ruined. She’d lose her job and her spotless reputation. The other part of her was so aroused that she had to know what sex felt like. Having liquid courage flowing through her veins certainly helped.
“I’m a virgin. I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
“Don’t worry,” he replied, “I’ll show you what to do.”
Lucy nodded. “Please don’t stop.”
She had expected pain, but only felt a small sting as Will slowly entered her. He kissed her tenderly as he began to thrust in and out. He was never like your brother anyway. She tried to remind herself as the heat between her legs began to grow and the feeling there was making her cry out. She found herself running her hands through his sandy brown hair and the higher she climbed she found herself clutching onto him as if her very life depended on it. Will must have been getting close because his breathing was becoming labored and she could hear him hissing under his breath.
“Help me,” he whispered in warning, “I don’t want to finish inside of you.”
Will pulled out of her and he grabbed her hand and placed it around his shaft. He told her to pump her hand up and down and it wasn’t long before he had reached his climax and Lucy was shocked when his seed spilled onto her.
“I’m so sorry,” he said as he sat up and searched for something to clean her with.
It didn’t take long for the guilt to sink in. She might have been sobering up, but as she began to adjust to her clothes, the severity of the situation creeped into thought. She had just had sex with her step-brother. Her job depended on her being pure and virginal. Oh God, she thought as he put her head in her hands. What would her parents think?
“I knew you would be like this. I knew you’d start freaking out.”
Lucy picked her head up and for the first time since Will came to her with an arrow in his side, she glowered at him. “Do you blame me? I’m not supposed to be in a relationship with anyone. Hell, I don’t think I know one school teacher that was married.” She shook her head, trying to keep calm. “I didn’t just fool around with any old cowboy. I just had sex with my step-brother!” she despaired.
“If it makes you feel better,” Will tried to muster. “I’ve never seen you as my sister. Never.”
Lucy’s stomach dropped at that admission. “I...I always felt the same way about you. I never recognized how handsome you were until just now. But no, I never looked at you and felt the way I felt when I looked at Grace. It was always more. Intrigue I guess.”
Will sat next to her on the bed and offered her his hand. Just like that night in her room, she took his hand and clasped it tightly. “I have no regrets.”
“That may be so, but no one in this world will ever understand that. Not even our parents.”
Will smiled at her. “No one has to know.”
“Oh Will,” Lucy replied sadly. “It’s like I tell my students. You can lie but someone always finds out. That how it always works.” She dropped his hand and stood up. “I should go before I am missed.”
Will stood and closed the space between them one more. “Please think about it and I’ll see you again. I promise.”
Lucy brushed his cheek with the back of her hand and kissed him lightly. Deciding at that very moment that this was going to be a memory that they would look back at one day fondly but nothing more than one that things got out of control. Then she made sure she looked presentable before she allowed Will to escort her back to the boarding house no longer touching, not a word spoke between them her entire walk home.
Chapter 5
Besides reading and leading a boring a life, another thing that Lucy did quite well was run from her problems. She didn’t go back to the ranch, she didn’t even try to think about Will. It was as she had told herself as she had left him that night. It was a drunken mistake, a night of passion that would never be spoken about again. Or at least that is what she thought.
Several days later Lucy was ringing the bell for the school house so that the children would come in from playing or talking before the day started, when one of her youngest students skipped up to her and placed an envelope in her hand.
“What’s this, Zachary?” she asked the boy that could have been no more than five.
The little boy shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just know it’s for you. A man gave it me on my way to school.”
Lucy felt a jolt in her stomach when she remembered that the child lived near the ranch. Was Will trying to reach out to her? She tore open the envelope, expecting a letter full of terms of endearment but it was not what was written on the page at all:
I know you screwed your step-brother. This is just one more thing I can use against him. Maybe I’ve got the goods on you now too.
Lucy went from feeling a jolt in her stomach to feeling like she was going to be sick. This was her worst fear. If word of this got out, she’d be shunned from town, she’d lose everything.
“Who gave this to you?” she demanded and felt bad when the little boy flinched. “Zachary I need to know what the man looked like.”
The child looked confused again. “I don’t know his name. He looked old enough to be someone’s daddy. He had dark hair and a beard.” Lucy racked her brain for someone that fit the description but came up with nothing. The town wasn’t that large, but cowboys came in and out of town so often that many of them blurred together. “Thank you, Zachary,” She replied as sweetly as she could muster. “You can go inside.”
For the rest of the day, Lucy tried to keep a level head as she worked with her students, but all could she could focus on what the letter she had received. Someone knew. Someone was threatening her. Lucy didn’t know what to do. She could keep on running from her problems; she could pretend that nothing was wrong. She could deny it even, it would be her word against someone else's. But then she thought about how Will had been severely injured once before. Was this the same person that had wanted him dead? This was more than just about her. She could run from her own problems, but not if the problems could hurt someone else.
She canceled her tutoring that afternoon, telling the students that she wasn’t feeling well and she quickly grabbed her bonnet from her room in the boarding house before she set off for the ranch. The long walk did nothing to settle her thoughts as she thought of the worst-case scenarios: public humiliation, becoming homeless. She was surprised at herself when one of those awful day dreams was of Will being maimed or killed. Maybe the two of them would have to revisit their feelings for one another. If they got through this unscathed.
As she reached the ranch, she scanned the acres of land, trying to spot Will among the men that were herding cattle and working around the farm. She also kept an eye out for anyone that fit the description of who Zachary had said gave him the letter. She kept her eyes low as she darted from building to building, finding Will’s barn and letting herself in to wait.
What felt like hours later, Will entered his living quarters and was shocked to find Lucy sitting on one of his makeshift chairs.
“Lucy…” he said breathlessly and went to take her in his arms.
She pushed him away, shaking her head. “Someone one knows.”
“What?”
She handed him the letter. “Someone knows what we did.
I told you that the truth is always discovered.”
Will eyes darted back and forth as he read the short note. “How did you get this?”
Lucy recounted how one of her students had given it to her and that the messenger had been middle aged and grisly looking. “Do you have idea who that might be?”
He paced around as he replied. “I do, but if it’s who I think it is we are in for huge problem. He’s one of the other men being considered for inheriting the ranch since our boss has no children. Richard Polk.” He spat it out like a curse word. “He’s a snake. He would use you as a way of getting to me.”
Lucy tried not to feel sick as she thought about him eavesdropping on their intimate encounter. She felt even sicker when she thought of him approaching young Zachary. She hadn’t even seen his face and she was frightened. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Will looked like a cross between defeated and hopeless.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Lucy admitted.
His face brightened slightly. “You could lose everything and you care about what happens to me?”
Lucy nodded. “I wish I could figure out what that means. But for now, we’ve got more important matters to handle.
Will agreed with her before he told her to go back to the boarding house and resume her normal routine. “Lucy,” he called after her, “Be safe.”
“You too,” she replied.
Then she put her bonnet back on and made her way back to town in the setting sun.
Chapter 6
Lucy went to dinner feeling like everyone was watching her and judging her. She barely touched her meal of roasted meat and potatoes and mostly pushed her food around the plate with her fork. She had to think of a way to get out of this mess, but she was fooling herself. The only way this could have been avoided would have been to not drink the whiskey or agree to go back to the ranch with Will in the first place.
“Everything all right deary?” her landlord asked as she noticed that her plate was barely touched.
Lucy nodded. “It smells heavenly. I just don’t have an appetite. I think I must be getting sick.” She rose from the table. “I think I’ll take this up with me on the off chance that I feel better later.” She smiled at her landlord and headed for the stairs.
When she reached the landing she knew that something was wrong. Her door which should have been locked was open slightly. I know I locked that, she thought as she reached for the door knob. A part of Lucy told her to flee, to run right back to the dinner table or even to the schoolhouse where she could lock herself in. You can’t run from your problems anymore, she reminded herself. She took a deep breath before she pushed the door open.
The man that had been described to her multiple times since receiving the letter was leaning against her windowsill. His sun-weathered face smirked at her as she tried to process how he’d gotten into your room.
“How...How…” Lucy trembled.
“Your landlord is pretty much deaf,” he replied curtly. “I stole her keys while she was cooking dinner. Put ‘em back without her knowing anything.”
“You’re Richard Polk?”
The man nodded, taking off his hat and attempted to give a bow. “Yes ma’am.”
“Why are you here?” Lucy knew that it was to taunt and intimidate but she asked it anyway.
“I hate your step-brother,” he answered. “Or is he your lover now?” He laughed and it made Lucy sick to her stomach.
“That...That was a mistake!” she wailed. Did she beg for him not to tell? What did she do? As it was, if anyone saw him in her room she’d be done for.
“Be that as it may, I still saw you enter and leave with him and I definitely heard you two fooling around. What will the innocent, god-fearing people in this town think when they find out that the school teacher is a harlot? An incestuous harlot at that?”
Lucy found her eyes narrowing. This man despised Will so much that he was willing to drag her through the mud to get what he wanted. “He’s not my blood brother,” Lucy retorted, but she knew that it sounded weak and wrong even to her own ears. “All his because you want the ranch?”
The man nodded once. “You better believe it. I have worked longer than that boy and I’ve been through more than he will ever know.” Even though he didn’t say the words out loud, Lucy could tell that he was insinuating because he’ll be dead.
“There’s got to be a way that you can reach an agreement.” Lucy tried to reason, but it sounded more like a plea and she hated it.
Richard Polk looked her up and down with his hard grey eyes. “There’s a few ways we could make an agreement.” He paused to do nothing more than make her squirm. “The boss is never going to choose me over him, so he leaves town or he dies. But, I’ll keep quiet about your part in this…” Once more he flicked his eyes over Lucy’s body. “If you let me show you how to please a man.”
There was the catch. Now that she’d thrown out her virtue, anyone thought they could have it. While it was enticing to know it might silence him for the moment. Lucy knew that it wouldn’t make him not tell forever. “No thank you,” she replied as strongly as she could.
“No?” The man looked at her like she was stupid. “What about your role of being the virginal schoolmarm?”
Lucy swallowed hard as she tried to not waver. “I’ve made a mistake. Having sex with you isn’t going to help that. It’s only going to make it worse.”
The man’s demeanor changed immediately. He was no longer was the calm, cool and collected man that had started this conversation. He grabbed her by the arm and gritted his teeth as he spoke just inches from her face. “I can ruin your life in an instant. If you love your step-brother at all. You’ll do this. Or I’ll kill him. I’ll tell them he raped you and they’ll hang him.”
“I’ll scream and they’ll do the same to you,” Lucy retorted. “How will you get your ranch then?”
The man’s eyes widened before he released her and stalked to the door. “You’ll be sorry for this. Your life will be miserable. You’ll wish you were dead.”
Lucy had no idea how he was going to slip out of the boarding house without being seen. She slumped onto her bed and began to sob. She felt like she had fallen into the sea and the more she tried to tread water, the more she got tired. Soon she would drown.
Chapter 7
“What’s wrong Miss Thompson?”
Lucy must have been thinking too much about her visitor from the previous day or the severity of the situation because her students were staring at her concerned. They were eating lunch on the grass outside of the school house enjoying the beautiful day.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Lucy tried to assure.
“But you look so sad.” One of her older students said. “If you are sad, then we are sad too.”
Lucy smiled at her students and loved how they were so concerned about her. She couldn’t tell them the whole truth, but she could at least try to explain why she was no seeming so out of sorts. “I have a friend who is in trouble. It seems like every option they think of only makes things worse.” As she said this she realized that she was talking about herself as much as she was telling them about Will.
“Miss Thompson, I don’t know your friend or what they’re going through, but I can tell you what I’d do,” said one to of the boys. He was a reluctant student that usually went missing around harvest time, but when he was in school he tried his hardest. “I’d help my friend. I do whatever I could to make things right, even if I got in trouble.”
When the other students murmured in agreement Lucy felt her heart swelling. “You would be that loyal to someone that you would risk being punished or being ashamed?”
“My mother tells me that life is too short,” A girl around ten years old answered. “So I’d rather make my friends happy than worry about making the right choice all the time.”
It was like the children had doused her with a bucket of cold water. She could face the shame. If s
he worked as hard as she could, she could get a job somewhere even if she was waiting tables or scrubbing someone’s floors. Losing Will to Richard Polk’s jealousy was something she could not bear. She was happy that her students had helped her come to that conclusion.
“Thank you for your opinions,” Lucy said warmly. “Enjoy your recess and be ready to come in about fifteen minutes.”
“Will you play with us?” one of the children asked.
“Not this time,” Lucy answered, wondering if today would be the last time she’d even see some of her students. “I have some planning to do.” She didn’t tell the children that it wasn’t for their afternoon lessons.
***
When the sun went down, Lucy was dashing through the night toward the ranch. Her mind raced as she made her way. She’d left a letter for her landlord, letting her know that she would no longer be staying there and thanking her for being so kind. She’d left lesson plans for the remainder of the week and a letter of apology to her students for having to leave them. Maybe she was being over cautious, but Lucy had a feeling that she would no longer be a school teacher after this night was over. She might not even live in this town anymore.
She reached the ranch in what felt like record time. She could see some men sitting around the campfire so she carefully jumped the fence instead of walking through the gate. She snuck in the shadows to Will’s barn and felt relieved to see him in his quarters eating by himself.
“Will!” She hissed before she threw her arms around him. The man turned around and looked at her in surprise. Before he could say a word, she cupped his face in his hand. “Things are worse than I thought. But it’s okay. I finally see things clearly and I’m not going to run anymore.”
Will cocked his head at her. “I don’t understand. What’s happened?”
Lucy told him everything. About how when she came back from their last visit that Richard Polk was waiting for her and how he had vowed to destroy him. She also explained how he was willing to keep her part of this quiet if she let him have his way with her. “I told him no. I told him I’d rather be shunned.” She smiled up at him wistfully. “Then my students gave me some great advice and now I know that I have to help you. I will do anything I can to help you. I’ll forsake my pure title. I’ll tell the truth of what happened. Hell, I will leave this town and never come back if that is what it takes.” Lucy felt so impassioned that she couldn’t stop talking as the purge felt good. “I know now why you never felt like my brother. You were never meant to be my brother. You were meant to be the love of my life. It just took me ten years to see it. No one else might understand it, but deep in my heart I know it’s true.”
