Finding Me Again (Unexpected Love Series)

by Amber Garza

  Thirteen

  Hadley

  “Wow, that’s crazy.” Paige sits across from me at the coffee shop holding a mug in her hands.

  “I know.” I stare down at my own cup of coffee, my stomach in knots. Conversations swirl around us from other tables, and an espresso machine roars to life behind me. The aromatic scent of coffee beans fills the air.

  “So, he was just trying to protect you.”

  My head snaps up at her words. “But he didn’t. He made things worse.”

  Paige’s eyes widen. “No, I get that. But I sort of understand his position.”

  “You do?” I am shocked by her admission.

  “Yeah. He thought he might have cancer or something and he didn’t want to drag you into it. He wanted you to live your life.”

  “But my life was with him.”

  “I know that. I’m not saying that I agree with what he did. I’m just saying that he clearly thought he was doing the right thing.”

  “What about when he found out it wasn’t cancer? Why didn’t he call me then?”

  “Hads, he was a football player. He’s a guy who likes to jog and take walks for fun. I’m sure the diagnosis wasn’t easy for him. Sure, it wasn’t a death sentence, but maybe it felt like it to him. It sounds like his condition is a challenge and it’s not something that’s going to go away.”

  I bite my lip, rolling her words around in my mind. “I guess I have been pretty selfish. I haven’t really sat back and thought about how hard this has been on him. I’ve just been so hurt and angry.”

  “I totally get it, Hads. The whole situation is screwed up.”

  “I just wish he would’ve told me. I could’ve helped him, you know?” Emotion wells up in my throat, and I swallow it down. “We missed out on so many years together. And for what?”

  “None of us can go back in time. We can just make the most of right now.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That Tripp is back, and he’s clearly reaching out to you.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know if things can work out with us again. Too much has happened.”

  “It’s worth a try though, isn’t it?” Paige shrugs.

  “I don’t know. I mean, a part of me wants to. But there’s another part of me that is still angry, and honestly, kind of scared.”

  “Love’s a risk, Hads. But if it works out, it’s definitely worth it.”

  “Speaking from experience, huh?” I smile.

  “Yeah. When I fell for Colt I had no idea if it would last. He kept saying that he would have to go back home, and he was distant and cold sometimes. But I wanted to be with him more than anything, so I took the risk. And I did almost lose him, remember?”

  “How could I forget?”

  “But even if I had it would’ve been worth it. Loving him for even a short period of time would’ve been better than never loving him at all.”

  “Wow, you really have become a sap. What happened to my smartass best friend? Can I have her back please?”

  Paige chuckles. “Oh, believe me, she’s still in here. She’ll rear her ugly head from time to time. Ask Colt.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” I slide the cup of coffee in my direction and pick it up. After lifting it to my lips, I take a tentative sip. The hot liquid swims down my throat.

  “What are you gonna do?” Paige asks, eyeing me behind her large black lense-less glasses.

  “I don’t know. I mean, when Tripp kissed me it was the most amazing thing that I’d experienced in the last three years, but--”

  “Whoa. Hold on. Back the truck up.” Paige slams her cup of coffee down on the circular table. Coffee spills out of it, splattering her arm like little paint droplets. “You so did not tell me you kissed him.”

  My cheeks flame, and I run my fingertips over the rim of my mug. “I didn’t exactly kiss him. He kissed me. It was when he took me home from the cupcake shop.” I squirm uncomfortably in my seat. “It just sort of happened.”

  “And when were you just sorta gonna tell me?”

  “Now,” I say with a grin.

  She gives me an exasperated look. “I can’t believe he kissed you. It’s so obvious that he wants you back.”

  “You really think so?” My heart lifts at the thought.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  I shouldn’t want Tripp back after he broke my heart the way he did. However, if I’m being entirely honest, I do want him back. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved Tripp. And people don’t usually get a second chance at true love. If I have the opportunity, shouldn’t I jump at the chance?

  Fourteen

  Tripp

  I know I should just leave her alone. She made it clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with me when she walked away from me for the second time the other night. But now that I’ve seen her, opened up to her and kissed her, I can’t get her out of my mind. Okay, Hadley’s been on my mind every day for the past three years too, but this is different. It’s like she consumes my every thought. I just can’t let her walk out of my life again without a fight. I may have screwed up three years ago, but I want a second chance. I want to win back the love of my life.

  Tentatively I knock on the front door. Hadley’s car is parked along the curb, so I’m hoping she’s home. When the door opens and Hadley stands in front of me, a relieved stream of air pushes past my lips. She looks even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, with her hair swept up in a loose ponytail and wearing a tank top and shorts.

  “You look so beautiful,” I breathe the words out before I can stop myself.

  Her cheeks color the same way they used to when we were younger. The simple act draws me to her even more.

  “Wanna go for a walk?” I ask her.

  She hesitates for a moment, and I can see the struggle behind her eyes. But then she nods subtly. “Okay. Let me just grab my shoes.”

  While she runs back inside, I lean against the side of the house soaking in the rays of bright sunshine. It feels good to be out after spending so much time locked inside. I’ve gotten out more in the past few weeks than I had for the past few years. It’s taken a toll on my body, but oddly enough it’s also made me feel a little better. It’s almost like the more I focus on other things, the healthier I feel. Maybe it’s just because I’m not obsessing about it so much.

  “Ready?” Hadley stands in front of me.

  “Yep.” I push off the side of the house and start walking down the driveway. I know I move slower than I used to. It takes a little more effort to get my body moving.

  Hadley must notice it too, because she slows her pace and eyes me funny. I don’t dare meet her eye. This is one of the reasons I never wanted her to know. I didn’t want her to look at me differently or think I was weak. Isn’t the man supposed to be the strong one, not the other way around?

  “I remember the first time we went on a walk together like it was yesterday,” Hadley breaks the silence.

  We head off her driveway and start walking down the sidewalk toward my old house. “Yeah, me too.”

  “I wasn’t sure what to make of you back then.”

  I chuckle. “You made it pretty clear what you thought of me.”

  “I just didn’t know you yet.”

  “Do you ever regret it?”

  “What?” She brushes a strand of hair from her pale cheek.

  “Falling for me? I mean, I know I’ve hurt you.”

  “Paige said something this morning that really stuck with me. She said that loving someone, even for a short period of time, is better than never loving them at all.”

  I stop in my tracks. “Paige said that? Did she read it in a book or something?”

  Hadley giggles, and the sound is music to my ears. “I know, right? It doesn’t sound like a Paige thing to say. But Colt has changed her into more of a sap I guess.”

  “Yeah, those two have it bad.”

  “They’re a lot like we were,” Hadley points out. “And I’
ll never regret loving you, Tripp. No matter what happens.”

  I smile. “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “What about you? Do you regret falling for me?”

  “Not at all. My only regret is how I handled things at the end.” It’s now or never. I stop walking and turn to Hadley. “If I could go back in time I would’ve done it differently.”

  She faces me. “What would you have done?”

  I grab her hands in mine. “I would’ve told you that I was sick, and I would’ve let you decide what to do with that information. It literally tore my heart out to leave you. I loved you so much, Hadley. I still do.” Her lips quiver and she looks away from me, but she doesn’t pull her hands back. So I grip them tighter and continue, “When I came back here I never expected to see you again. In fact, I assumed you’d moved on, met someone new. Just the idea killed me though. But when I saw you and found out you were still single, it brought up all these old feelings. And I realized that leaving you was the worst mistake of my life. I wasn’t helping you. Hell, I wasn’t helping either of us. I’ve been so lonely without you. And I want you back.”

  Fifteen

  Hadley

  Tripp’s words stun me, and I don’t know how to react. My hands tremble in his and I stare out at the street trying to get my emotions in check. Only it’s a losing battle, and before I know it the tears start flowing. I look into Tripp’s eyes. Seeing the sincerity in them breaks me further.

  “Oh, Tripp, you have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this moment since we broke up. I’ve never stopped loving you either. And even though I’m so mad at you for hurting me like you did, I guess I sort of understand it. You’ve always wanted to protect me. It’s one of the things I used to love so much about you.” I take a step forward until our faces are mere inches apart. “A part of me wants to stay angry with you, to make you pay for what you did. But I won’t do that. I won’t take any more time away from us. We belong together, Tripp. We always have.”

  His eyebrows shoot up. “So, is that a yes?”

  “It’s a yes. A definite yes.”

  “Hadley,” he says my name like a prayer. Then he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. They are soft and warm. I release his hands and bring my arms up around his waist. His hands run up the length of my arms and rest around my face. His tongue darts out of his mouth and gently pries my lips open. I part my lips eagerly allowing him to enter. His breath smells like mint and tastes sweet. A moan sounds at the back of my throat as I thrust my own tongue into his mouth. His fingers stroke my cheek and tangle in my hair. I grip his waist tighter as the kiss deepens.

  “God, that was amazing,” Tripp says between labored breaths when we part.

  “It always has been with us,” I agree.

  “So where do we go from here?”

  I shrug. “Forward, I guess.”

  His face grows serious. “Hadley, are you sure this is what you want? I’m not the same guy I was. My disease has changed me.”

  “Tripp, I haven’t been around you that much since you’ve been back, but I can tell you’re still the same guy.” I press my hand to his heart. “In here.”

  He places his own hand over mine.

  “And that’s all that matters,” I tell him. “We can sort through all the other stuff.”

  “I just don’t want you to have to take on all my health stuff. It’s the thing I’ve been trying to avoid. My mom’s been bearing the burden, and that’s hard enough for me.”

  “That’s just it, Tripp. You’re not a burden. Allowing those who love you the opportunity to help you is a blessing, not a curse. I hate the fact that I wasn’t with you when you were going through all your medical testing. And it kills me that I wasn’t there when you got the diagnosis. I love you, Tripp, and I would’ve helped you through it. In fact, it would’ve been an honor to help you through it.”

  “Really?” Tripp looks stunned. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “You took that from me, and as upset as that makes me, I forgive you. But don’t ever do it to me again, okay?”

  “I promise.”

  “I want to be here for you.”

  Tripp looks stricken for a moment. “But you have to finish school.”

  “I will. As long as you promise that you’ll be waiting for me when I get back.”

  “With anticipation.”

  “I can’t believe this is real,” I say. “Are we really doing this?”

  “We really are.” Tripp curves his hand around my neck and pulls me forward. “And I’m enjoying every second.” With that he covers my mouth with his once again.

  Tripp and I have been inseparable since we got back together a couple of months ago. It’s been just like in high school. In fact, Paige and Colt tease us about it endlessly. They can’t believe we just seamlessly picked up where we left off. But I guess that’s how it happens when you are reunited with your soul mate. And I’m convinced that Tripp is my soul mate. I’ve loved him since I was sixteen, and I know I’ll love him forever. His condition causes some challenges, but for the most part I don’t notice it at all. To me he’s still the same boy I fell in love with years ago.

  “So, what do you want to do now?” Tripp threads his fingers through mine as we leave the restaurant.

  I shrug. “What do you have in mind?”

  He throws me a devilish smile. Then takes me in his arms, swinging me around for all the world to see. “A swim might be fun.”

  “You just want to see me in my bathing suit again.”

  “Am I that obvious?” He chuckles, stealing a kiss on my neck.

  “A little.” I circle my arms around his neck.

  “I can’t help it if my girlfriend has the sexiest body on the planet. And that little red bikini shows it off perfectly.” He leans in close, his breath feathering over my skin. “You’re just lucky I don’t tear it off when we’re swimming.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” I say, but a shiver runs down my spine at the thought.

  “Don’t tempt me.” He kisses me softly on the cheek, then peppers kisses all the way to my mouth until his lips hover mine.

  “Maybe I like to tempt you,” I speak against his mouth.

  His lips curl upward. “You are evil, you know that?”

  I pull back, feigning innocence. “Me? No, I’m an angel.”

  “You’re my angel.” He draws back, grabbing my hand once again. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  “So you were serious, huh? We’re really going swimming?” I say following him down the sidewalk.

  “After all that flirty talk you can’t back down now.” He tugs my hand.

  We pass a large fountain, water spilling down and foaming at the bottom. “I could just push you in here,” I tease. “Cool you off a bit.”

  “Very funny,” he says.

  “You think I’m joking?” I tug on his arm, pulling him toward the fountain.

  “It won’t work anyway.” He moves close to me, touching my face. “When I’m with you there’s no cooling down. You burn me up.”

  I sigh, savoring his words. How does he always know the right thing to say?

  “I love you, Hadley.”

  “I love you too.”

  His hand slides up my cheek, resting by my ear. Then he slowly lowers his lips to mine. They rub over mine slowly, gently in the softest of caresses. As the kiss deepens, I grab a hold of him. I cling to him, knowing that I will never again let go.

  Epilogue

  Tripp

  I stand at the front of the church in my tux, watching the most beautiful woman in the world making her way toward me. She walks slowly down the aisle, white lace and fabric swirling around her. In her hands she holds a large bouquet of white flowers, and her hair is curled around her face. Her brown eyes meet mine, and I smile. The grin she flashes me makes my heart flip in my chest. I can hardly believe she’s going to become my wife today.

  For years I thought I’d lost her, but now she’s here and she’s goi
ng to be mine forever. I don’t hear the music playing or see the people watching in the audience. My focus is solely on Hadley, the woman I love more than life itself.

  She’s been so amazing since we got back together. It makes me realize what a huge mistake I made in not allowing her to share in my illness initially. She’s gone with me to doctor’s appointments and helped me find new ways to improve my life. She even did a whole bunch of research on natural alternatives and has started to implement them. Some work better than others, but the fact that she’s taken an interest has meant so much to me. Hadley has never shied away from any part of my disease, and it’s clear that she’s strong enough to handle it.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Paige across from me watching Hadley with the same love in her eyes that I have in mine. She wipes a tear from her eyes, and I find it comical. Paige is not the crying type, but I know she’s so happy for Hadley. I know because Hadley bawled all through Paige’s wedding. The reminder of the day causes me to glance back at my groomsmen. My brother throws me a wink, and behind him Colt flashes me a thumbs up. When I turn back around, my mom smiles at me from the front row. Her eyes are filled with tears as well. She and Hadley are so close. She’s thought of Hadley as her daughter for years. This will just make it official. My heart bursts with joy as I return my attention to my beautiful bride.

  When her dad hands Hadley over to me, I take her hand in mine. It’s cold and clammy to the touch.

  “We’re really doing this,” she whispers as we stand next to each other in front of the minister.

  “Are you nervous?” I whisper back.

  “Not even a little bit. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you, Tripp Bauer.”

  “That’s good, because I’m never letting you go again,” I tell her.

  The minister starts addressing the crowd, but Hadley and I just stare at each other smiling. She squeezes my hand, and I squeeze hers back. And in this moment, I know that Hadley and I will get through whatever life throws our way. Together we are so much stronger than we are apart.