The person standing before him was the greatest enemy standing in his and Emilia’s way.
“I did have it all wrong… I thought for a little bit that we might be able to be friends or something.”
“—”
“That was just dumb talk over drinks. ‘If you can do something, do it…’? I was a fool to take an enemy’s words at face value. I’m being petty. Tripping up your opponent is the right thing to do.”
The same hazy sense of alienation that he’d felt at the royal selection conference seeped into his chest.
Subaru saw his memory of their conversation over drinks the night before in a new light and felt betrayed, since it was Crusch herself who had told him to do whatever he could.
To stand in his way despite those words: Was that not a betrayal?
Ferris, silent to that point, spoke as if he couldn’t stand to watch.
“…Don’t misunderstand, meow!” His sharp look made Subaru bite his tongue and swallow his words. “Lady Crusch isn’t acting out of malice but kindness. It wouldn’t hurt her at all if mew left to return and try to help Lady Emilia—”
Crusch interrupted.
“Ferris, stop.”
But Ferris brushed off Crusch’s rebuke and glared at Subaru.
“No, I will say it. For such a minor meowsunderstanding, it’s far too cruel, so someone has to say it… Subawu, going will do nothing to change things. It’s pointless to go. On top of that, you’d be wasting Lady Emeowlia’s contract, which she paid for with a fair sum. After the humiliation you went through at the royal palace and what happened with Julius at the parade square, you still don’t get it? Staying put, hoping for the best, and focusing on healing your body is the far better choice.”
—Subaru heard something.
The sound of something snapping inside himself.
He’d been stuffing his anger into a sack within him, and when he realized it was now open, Subaru was seized by such a rage at the humiliation inflicted on him that his teeth cut into his lip.
Those provocations were more than enough to harden his resolve.
“I’ve decided—I’m returning to the mansion where Emilia is. It’s been a short time, but thanks for your hospitality.”
As Subaru spoke his farewells, Rem shouted to hold him back.
“Subaru!”
But he held up a hand to Rem as he rose from his seat, looking down at Crusch.
Crusch folded her arms and closed her eyes. He had no idea what was inside her heart. Ferris, seated beside her, let out a long sigh, his face making his sullen mood clear as he said, “No respect for others’ feelings… Shouldn’t a good man take warnings at face value?”
“Your warning let me make my decision. Thanks.”
Ferris apparently gave up on discussing the matter after Subaru returned his sarcasm. Instead, Crusch unfolded her arms before looking at him and resuming the conversation.
“Subaru Natsuki. Unfortunately, all of this house’s dragon carriages for long-distance transportation are already assigned to other tasks. All that I can lend you is a slower freight carriage or a midrange carriage that would require you to dismount and go part of the way on foot.”
“…Er?”
Subaru’s eyes widened. He’d expected her to berate him for unilaterally breaking the contract, but Crusch…almost sounded like she agreed with Subaru’s decision. The unexpected reply made Subaru’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.
She raised an eyebrow with a questioning look before turning toward Ferris.
“Ferris. Did I say something odd?”
Ferris put his hands to his cheeks and squirmed as he replied.
“Even Ferri’s dazzled at how incredibly you can adapt, Lady Crusch. But, ah, you aren’t actually going to lend Subawu a dragon carriage, are you?”
Crusch nodded in the affirmative.
“It is as I said. I respect the decisions of others. No matter what the decision, it is very important to take responsibility for it. And no matter what burden you bear, you must work to achieve what you want to achieve and bring no dishonor to your soul— Is it not so?”
“…Yeah, it is. That’s exactly it. I don’t want my soul to become shameless. If that girl’s in trouble, there’s no way I can stay here as a patient and spend my days without a care in the world.”
Crusch’s affirmation made Subaru uncomfortable, as if he had been gearing up to fight an opponent that didn’t plan on doing battle.
Perhaps Subaru had conveyed his resolve, because Rem closed her eyes, seemingly berating herself for a single moment. When she opened them again, she had returned to her normal neutral expression.
“In place of my master, let me extend my deepest thanks for everything you have done to date.”
“I don’t mind. There is benefit to us as well. However, I would like to speak to you concerning the last leg of the journey…”
Rem lowered her head, treating Crusch’s offer with great courtesy.
“If I may be so bold, we would be grateful for the help. We wish to confirm that the dominion is safe without a moment to spare. However, time is short. It will no doubt take two and a half days to reach the Mathers lands from the royal capital.”
Subaru exclaimed, “Over two days?! Why? When we came it didn’t even take half of one day to get here!”
If his memory was correct, the dragon carriage left Roswaal Manor in the morning, arriving at the royal capital just past noon. Even without a long-distance carriage, the disparity in the lengths of the journeys was too extreme.
“That’s impossible now. The Liphas Highway we used to get here cannot be used currently. The season is poor, and fog is covering the road… Therefore, we must take a detour around it.”
“So what if there’s fog on it? If we just cut right through that—”
Ferris interrupted, swatting Subaru’s opinion down with what was apparently public knowledge.
“It’s the White Whale that makes the fog, mew know? If mew stumble across it inside the fog, your life is gone. That’s just commeown sense, right?”
Subaru scowled at the unfamiliar term White Whale. But Rem set aside the fact that Subaru didn’t understand and proceeded with the larger discussion.
As a result of her negotiations, they came to the following terms: Subaru and Rem would borrow a medium-range dragon carriage from the House of Karsten and then board some other dragon carriage at a village along the way to return home as fast as possible.
Subaru gritted his teeth over the inconvenient lack of a dragon carriage that could go the whole way without stopping. It was times like this that he painfully missed cars, something that needed only fuel to make it run farther.
It was a bad situation that made him want to hurry, but hurry he could not. The fog that covered the highway seemed like a manifestation of the worry spreading before his eyes.
The sense that this was a looming bad omen wouldn’t stop pricking at Subaru’s heart.
3
Once the plan had been hashed out, things moved quickly.
In short order, Subaru and Rem were headed toward the front gate of the Crusch villa with their luggage, yet there was already a vehicle awaiting them, stripped of all ornamentation to lighten it, with a single red-skinned land dragon drawing it.
Wilhelm was holding the beast’s reins as he awaited their arrival. When he noticed Subaru and Rem rushing over, the aged man bowed deeply.
“This is the fastest land dragon that this house is able to lend under these circumstances. Even so, I dearly regret that it is inferior to the long-range dragons employed by the marquis…”
With Rem taking the reins, Subaru stood beside her and looked at Wilhelm.
“I’m immensely grateful you’re lending me anything at all… I’d love to say I’ll return it for sure, but…”
His tone dropped at the end.
Wilhelm was the only one to see off Subaru and Rem at the front gate. They had said their farewells to Crusch and
Ferris at the entry hall of the mansion. The least he could do was politely return the dragon carriage later as a final parting of ways.
“In my position, I can but obey Lady Crusch’s decision. Once you depart from the mansion, my master and your master will no doubt become mutual enemies— This dragon carriage will serve as a parting gift for the half-fulfilled treatment and sword instruction.”
“But that’s… I don’t think they said one word about that when we left the mansion.”
At the very least, the farewell from master and vassal suited them almost too well.
“I pray your efforts shall be valiant, and that you will strive to make your choices proudly, without shame to your soul.”
“With Lady Crusch being this nice to mew, you’d better make up with Lady Emilia in a hurry. Now get going already!”
That last sentence probably left the strongest impression. There hadn’t been any hint of the kind of consideration he felt from Wilhelm, but…
“I, too, serve Lady Crusch, so I am somewhat familiar with my master’s way of thinking.”
“Incidentally, when did you start working for her?”
“I believe it is just over half a year now…”
“Hey, that’s way shorter than I thought!! From how you talked about it, I thought you’d been master and servant for years and years!!”
Rem was piling luggage onto the dragon carriage while Subaru and Wilhelm traded words in that manner. Rem took the reins again and gave the land dragon’s snout a gentle stroke.
“—Understand? Then do as I say. That’s it, good boy, good boy.”
“Rem, how’s it looking?”
“He seems to have a slightly wild disposition, but I have just instructed him who is on top, so there shall be no trouble. I believe he will obey my commands.”
“R-right… Gotta establish the hierarchy. You really know how to crack the whip, huh?”
As a result of Rem’s “conversation” with the land dragon, they seemed to be getting along. Given the fact they’d be racing together for over a day’s worth of time, the relationship between driver and land dragon was crucial.
Rem discussed their plan.
“Taking a detour across the plains to avoid the fog, we should pass through two villages on our way to the marquis’s lands. We can likely procure and switch to another dragon carriage at a village named Hanumas near the border.”
“Incidentally, how long till we get to Hanumas?”
“It will likely take fourteen to fifteen hours. If we run the dragon carriage into the ground after we switch, we might be able to arrive at the fiefdom in another half a day…”
Subaru scratched at his head, biting back his words of dismay before bowing his head to Wilhelm.
“Thanks for everything. It’s a shame to leave practice half-finished like this…”
“I believe I have taught you the most important things. Beyond this, if you desire to increase your skill at the sword, there is no better way than to continue swinging one. May you stay in good health.”
Wilhelm offered his hand, Subaru accepted it, and the two exchanged a good, hard shake.
Rem took over the driver’s seat as Subaru entered the small carriage. Poking his head out of the window, he gave one last wave to Wilhelm, who was seeing them off from the front gate.
“Well, we’re heading out. If fate allows, I’d love to spend some time together again.”
“If you enjoy being welcomed with blows from a wooden sword, come back anytime.”
Wilhelm gave a gentlemanly smile as he saw off Subaru and Rem with a very fitting joke.
The land dragon neighed and began gently picking up speed. The carriage accelerated further, leaving the Crusch villa farther and farther behind them. The figure at the front gate kept his head bowed until Subaru could no longer see him.
They headed downhill, passing the guardhouse that formed the entrance to the Nobles’ District, heading straight down the main street to the gate that linked the royal capital to the highway outside that was their destination.
Thanks to the land dragon’s blessing, the vibrations in Subaru’s rear were exceedingly soft. He nervously looked out the small window, unable to bear the sense of urgency inside him.
Leaving the streets of the royal capital behind, his field of vision was dominated by green grassland and blue sky and nothing else. Since Rem was concentrating on driving, he couldn’t speak to her, so there was nothing for him to do while in transit. Inside the carriage, Subaru sank into a sea of thought.
Crusch had declared that they could not lend a dragon carriage for long-range use. Accordingly, the feel of the passenger seat was much shoddier. It was probably for rushing servants from place to place.
He’d entered and left the Crusch residence in the blink of an eye. The fact that the duchess had kindly lent him a single dragon carriage upon his departure left Subaru in a tangle of complicated thoughts that were difficult to put into words. Only the night before, he’d judged her as strict but not indifferent. The back-and-forth before his departure had only added to the complexity.
What he did understand was why many people wanted to converse with her. No doubt Emilia would have to work hard to build up a network of personal connections as Crusch had. That was a necessary hardship for her. Yet unnecessary ones burdened Emilia as well.
“That’s why…I need to get over there, and fast…”
Of course, these were political questions and a matter of connections between people of privilege. Subaru did not have such an inflated view of himself as to think he would be of help with those issues. He knew there would be difficult problems where he would be nothing but dead weight. But it wasn’t in him to use his powerlessness as a reason to cast aside someone he cared about when she was in trouble.
If he poured his heart and soul into it, he was certain that he could overcome these obstacles.
Subaru Natsuki possessed that power.
“Nothing will work unless I’m with her… Now she’ll understand that.”
It was unfounded certainty—no, it was nothing but hope.
Emilia had fallen into peril. If he was there, galloping to her rescue, somehow everything would work out. That was his slender, flickering hope, in danger of being snuffed out by the wind.
He wanted to prove his worth. He needed to.
If Emilia was in distress, Subaru would save her.
No, that’s how it had to be. Subaru needed Emilia to fall into peril so that he could discover his own value—and show others that he had worth.
“That’s right… It’s no good if I’m not with her. For sure…!”
In the back of his mind was the incredibly lovely girl with silver hair. Her smiling face was enveloped by an amorphous darkness, buried by malice attempting to quench her sublime spirit.
“—”
With that vision in his mind, Subaru closed his eyes and bit his lip.
In the carriage, he silently let the time pass, alone.
With the exception of Rem in the driver’s seat, he was isolated in that place, unable to sense the presence of any other.
—And he never noticed the faint twisting of his lips.
4
Late that day, instead of Hanumas, where they had planned to switch carriages, they rested at a stopover town ahead of it named Fleur.
Rem had suggested it as the sun was setting, just before night began to fall.
“Traveling by night will increase the probability of encountering bandits and demon beasts. I am also concerned about passing close to the fog, so I believe it’s best to lodge at a nearby inn tonight.”
“How long is it to the halfway point at Hanumas? We can’t just rush the rest of the way there?”
“It would take until midnight to arrive at Hanumas from here. We might not be able to get an inn, and procuring a dragon carriage is difficult in the middle of the night, so…”
“Ugh… That’s true. So it’s not like we can just get there and everyth
ing will work out, then.”
Rem had been thinking while Subaru was mulling things over. Naturally, she had made her proposal with much deeper consideration than Subaru’s. Though he was irritated at having to stop, he accepted Rem’s suggestion.
“So let’s get an inn here in Fleur and head out first thing in the morning. That’ll give the land dragon some rest and maybe cut down on the time needed to find a carriage in Hanumas?”
“Yes. If we leave early in the morning and things go well in Hanumas midway, we just might be able to make it to the mansion before nightfall tomorrow.”
As Rem replied, her voice was filled with relief that Subaru had accepted her proposal without complaint.
Fortunately, their hope of finding an inn upon arrival in Fleur was granted. They entrusted the land dragon to the stable adjoining the inn, filled their bellies with an exceedingly crude evening meal, bathed briefly, and dove into bed so that they could rise immediately at daybreak.
But when Subaru thought of Emilia, his sense of urgency and impatience drove off all drowsiness.
“Can’t sleep…”
Desperately trying to doze off, all he ended up doing was blindly changing positions in bed over and over. After all, he’d spent quite some time at Roswaal’s mansion and Crusch’s villa, the finest laps of luxury that world had to offer; the hard bed of a backwater inn made it hard for him to sleep.
Of course, given that he wanted to wake up as early in the morning as possible, curses for time and his own body welled up his chest. He didn’t need more time to think. What he needed was an opportunity to link the conclusions drawn in his mind to tangible actions. Thus, all he yearned for was the morning sun.
How many times had he glared at the ceiling and at the backs of his eyelids? How many times had he turned in bed?
A sound slid into his eardrums; a knock at the doorway, then someone hesitantly opened the door.
“…Subaru, may I come in?”
When he lifted his head and looked over, he saw Rem’s upper body leaning into the room. She’d slipped out of the servant’s outfit he was used to and had changed into a thin blue nightgown he’d seen at some point before.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 5 Page 8
