My hands wound their way into her hair and somehow she ended up in my lap. I didn’t touch her anywhere but her hair and then her back. I wanted this to be right. Perfect actually. I had wanted this for so long that the thought of ruining it in any way frightened the hell out of me.
I broke off the kiss because I didn’t want to overwhelm her, but not because I wanted to.
“I’m so sorry I frightened you. But Terri, I had to see you tonight.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice breathless and sexy as all hell.
“Because I can’t stop thinking about you and about us. About how we never got the chance to see if we can work. I’ve not been able to get you out of my head. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. I don’t even have the slightest interest in trying to date someone else. I’ve not been with anyone since...well, you know when. I know I really screwed things up. I’ll always feel responsible for what happened to you. It’s the way I’m programmed Terri. End of story. There are so many things I wish I could go back and change. But I can’t. So the only thing I know to do is apologize, beg for forgiveness and move forward. That’s what I’m here for. I would like to beg you to forgive me for how I handled things. I was stupid in the way I tried to protect you. It was wrong. I guess I don’t handle adversity very well. But I’m not trying to excuse my behavior either.”
“Damn it Justin! I’m so torn over everything. First it was those two whores and then tonight you tell me that crap about my leg. My mind is so messed up about you right now.”
“I know and I’m so sorry I’m such a shit. And I keep digging a deeper hole for myself. I don’t know why I do things like that. Not telling you about the severity of your leg was wrong on so many levels. It was a violation of medical ethics...you were right. I don’t know why I thought it was for your protection. Robert and Jackson wanted to kill me over all of this.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t.”
“And then the drinking. When I started that and the ranting and raving about you. They thought I’d lost my mind. And in many respects I did.”
When I came here tonight, I decided to bare my soul and not hold anything back from her. My gut was free falling to my feet, but I didn’t stop.
“Terri, there were times when I thought I was losing it. Those two women that I hooked up with was when I hit bottom. I talked to Phil about it because I felt like I’d been falling down this tunnel and I couldn’t find anything to grab onto to stop the descent. He told me that sometimes you have to hit bottom before you can climb back up. Terri, you know that day I got caught? I knew Lexi was coming over. I didn’t lock the door on purpose. Do you get what I’m saying here? I wanted to get caught. I think deep down I knew that was the only way I’d get help. I know that was probably the worst thing in the world to do to her, but I was so fucked up at the time, I knew she would come to my rescue and get me the help I needed. I trusted her.
I’m sorry I’m unloading all this on you, but I thought it only fair you should know. I understand that there isn’t a valid reason on Earth that you should trust me, and I’m not asking that of you. What I am asking is that you give me a chance to prove myself to you...to start again, not from the beginning because I know you can’t erase what’s been done to you, but to move forward anyway. I’m asking you...no, I’m begging you to let me show you that I can be a decent human being. I’ll earn your trust and I’ll do the things you need that will show you I’m someone you can depend on.”
I shut my mouth then and waited. I’d dumped way too much on her anyway, so I put the ball in her court and if she threw me out, I would have to move to plan B.
“Well, I have to tell you I’m a bit surprised by all of this.” She didn’t have to tell me that. Her eyes were pinging all over the place...first they settled on me, then on her hands, then back on me, then on the wall. They looked like a pinball machine ready to short circuit.
She finally covered her face with her hands and groaned. “I’m very attracted to you Justin. I think you’d have to be blind not to have noticed. And I’ve always felt that there was something between us. I’m probably making the biggest mistake of my life here, but maybe we could try to work things out. I know there are things we need to overcome and I’m gonna have to figure out a way to forgive you and move on. I’ll try to do that. But I can’t promise it’ll be easy.”
A tiny spark lit in my heart. I felt it. I dared not get too excited yet, because at this point, it wouldn’t take much to extinguish it. “I didn’t say it would be easy. I just want us to at least try. I’d hate to think we walked away from each other without even doing that.”
Suddenly, she jerked her head toward me and those piercing azure blue eyes hit mine and she asked, “Shall we do a trial period?”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
She blinked and rubbed her eyes for a minute. “This stupid waterproof mascara they gave us for the wedding is irritating the crap out of my eyes. I can’t get it off.”
“I was wondering why your eyes looked so...um, furry.”
“Gee thanks.” She rolled her eyes at me. “But getting back to us. I think we should try to resolve our issues...do a trial run within the next six months. If we’re not getting along or if things between us seem insurmountable, then we go our separate ways.”
I ran that through my mind. Six months. I would have to win her over, one hundred percent, by then. And right now, I had this hot naked woman sitting on my lap that was the cause of an erection the size of the Empire State building and there wasn’t a damn thing I was going to do about it.
“Agreed.”
She nailed me with those azure eyes again and stated, “I refuse to be your friend with benefits Justin.”
That actually pissed me off. Now I didn’t just have a stiffy that she was sitting on, my entire body had turned into rebar right along with my dick.
“Terri, I have to say I resent that remark. Have I ever given you any indication that was my intention?”
“No, but...”
I wouldn’t let her finish. “I know that I have behaved like an ‘unmitigated and comprehensive ass’ to quote Mr. Bingley. But I’d like to think that where matters of sex are concerned, I have behaved like a gentleman. I have never tried to take advantage of you in any way.”
She was smiling now so I stopped speaking. “Mr. Bingley from Pride and Prejudice, huh? I didn’t know you were a fan.” She had a cute little smirk on her face.
“Terri, there are quite a few things you don’t know about me. Like right now for instance, I have an enormous hard on because of you and it’s quite uncomfortable, by the way. But, I’m willing to sit here and chat with you, while you’re naked and sitting in my lap, and by far the loveliest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon.”
Her eyes widened, then almost popped right out of her head as I heard her breath whistle when she drew it in between her teeth. She moved to cover her breasts with her hands but I stopped her.
“Oh no you don’t.” I grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and gently drew them behind her back. “I won’t let you deprive me of this glorious sight. And by God you are gorgeous.” I stared at her as I bent my head toward her mouth. I was expecting her to back away or to say something but she didn’t. She waited a second and then started kissing me back and making those fucking sexy noises again that had my pants seams bursting.
I lay back and brought her down with me. When I released her hands, she was unbuttoning my shirt and pulling it off of me as fast as she could. She moved to unbutton my pants next but I put my hands on top of hers. “Do you think this is a good idea?”
She looked at me hard and said, “I’m not sure.”
Smiling, I said, “Then that’s your answer. None of this until you give me a definite and unequivocal yes. Okay?”
She smiled back and agreed. I could tell this was going to be a long night. Her hands were on my abs and chest and when she bent her head to kiss me there, I groaned. Shit, I w
as glad my pants were on. I hope I didn’t end up like some thirteen year old. Or maybe I just needed to go take a cold shower now to calm things down a bit.
“Honey, you’re gonna have to slow down for me.” She looked at me and grinned.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure. Or I’ll end up embarrassing myself.”
I pulled her up next to me so I could kiss her lovely mouth again.
“Thanks for only punching me once.”
She laughed. “I guess you’re lucky I didn’t hit you with this.”
She reached under her pillow and pulled out a small canister of pepper spray.
“Hell yeah, I’m glad. That would’ve really hurt.”
“Um, Justin. You should be glad I don’t have a gun.”
“You’re right. I didn’t even think of that.”
“Will you spend the night?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Yeah, I do. Honestly, I’ve seen your face every night since last spring.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in confusion.
Then she told me how she always saw my face right before she went to sleep. I kissed her and got out of the bed. I had to go to the bathroom to take care of some business and when I got back to the bed, she was dozing. I took off my pants and slipped in next to her and pulled her against me.
“Do you feel better?” she asked shyly.
“Much, but I wish it had been with you. I was lonely in there.”
I felt her body shaking with laughter.
“Sorry Justin but maybe soon.”
“Baby I hope so. Goodnight.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Terri
When I woke up, I saw his face, but it wasn’t a dream this time. Mr. Ralph Lauren Polo man was lying next to me and smiling. This time I didn’t have to stop myself from reaching over and brushing his longish hair back from his face. He looked extremely sexy and I could feel that heat building in my belly. I was naked and didn’t quite know how to handle it. Nature was calling me so I was going to have to do something...and fast. Should I take the sheet or just brave it and go?
Mother of God what to do?
“I would just go sweetheart. I don’t think there is proper etiquette for this.”
“How did you know?” I huffed.
“That look of utter discomfort on your face. Go. I’ll turn the other way. On second thought, scratch that. I’m not that strong of a man.”
Laughter bubbled out of me and that made the urge to pee even worse. I bolted out of the bed, but then I stumbled because all the standing from the day before had made my leg really sore.
“Oh hell,” I exclaimed as I tried to stop myself from falling. Too late and I was a heap of butt ass nakedness, lying on the carpet. He was there, picking me up before I could even think about what just happened. Lines creased his forehead and his lips had thinned into tight streaks.
“Justin, stop moving for a minute and look at me please.”
He did as I asked.
“I’m not used to standing, particularly in heels, and my leg is sore. That’s all. I forgot about it and when I went to stand, it took me by surprise. You have to stop overreacting to things like this.”
The lines on his face smoothed a bit, but his voice trembled slightly as he said, “My heart hit the deck when you fell. It’s something that I’m gonna have to work on.”
“Okay, we can do that. But can you put me down now ‘cause I really gotta pee.”
“I can do better than that. I can give you a ride to the bathroom.” He grinned and I would’ve laughed if my bladder wasn’t about to burst. He set me on my feet and just stood there looking at me. My face heated up and then the rest of my body followed as my heart did a couple of loop-t-loops. Crap!
“You have to leave.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not going to pee with you in the room.”
“Oh. Sorry. I was a little mesmerized.” He was staring at my body.
I glanced down and noticed my darn nipples were saluting him. I dropped my head and put my hands over my face. “Are you gone yet ‘cause I’m dying of embarrassment here?”
I heard the door shut and his voice came from the other side.
“Terri, you don’t have a thing in the world to be embarrassed about.”
Well, didn’t that just make a girl all smiley faced? I took care of my needs and when I was finished, I did a quick face inspection. What the hell was I going to do about my eyes? Now they looked like small furry animals had taken up residence and rooted in there overnight. The lashes were hard and lumpy and felt like they were going to crack right off. After I brushed my teeth, I washed my face again, but it did nothing to get that crud off my eyes.
He was lying on the bed staring with half closed lids at the door when I opened it. He was on his side and he had his index finger clamped between his teeth as he watched me. My body melted and turned into a puddle on the floor. Don’t ask me why, but I never bothered to put on a robe. Maybe I got distracted by the eyelash thing, or maybe I just wanted to be naked, but I walked back out and then I felt my body flushing from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. He slowly stood up and sauntered right up to me.
“I’ll be right back,” he whispered as he ran his finger across my shoulder.
I was paralyzed with desire. I wanted that man...now. I knew if I dared to touch myself, my fingers would come away dripping wet.
That’s how he found me a few minutes later, when he finished in the bathroom...standing there, unmoving. I felt his arms come around me from behind, pressing against my stomach and his cheek touching mine. I could smell the minty scent of the toothpaste as he kissed my cheek.
I leaned into him and said, “Now I’m sure.”
“About what?”
“You and I...making love. Now. This minute.” I was probably making the biggest mistake of my life, but at that moment, I didn’t care about anything except for Justin Middleton and his yummy body.
I turned to faced him and never got the chance to look at him before his mouth was on mine and my toes were clenching the carpet. His tongue played with mine, teasing it, darting in and out until I caught it and sucked on it hard. I pulled his lower lip into my mouth and gently bit on it as I ran my tongue across it. He groaned as I put my hands on his ass and pulled him tightly to me. He was hard...really hard as I felt him against my stomach, so I reached between us to put my hand on him.
“No,” he said gruffly. “I want this to be long and slow. If you touch me now, it won’t be.” His arms moved down below my ass and he lifted me up and walked me backwards to the bed. He pushed me down gently on my back and sat between my legs, just staring. Then he started touching me sending currents of heat racing through my body. He began at my toes, then worked his way to my feet and then my calves. He passed by my thighs and at first I thought it was because of my leg. Later I would find out I was mistaken. He moved to my stomach and started to suck on places I hadn’t imagined could turn me on so much. First he tongued my belly button, then his mouth moved to my hip bones, then each of my ribs. By the time he made it up to my breasts, I was fisting the sheets and gasping with pleasure.
“Terri, tell me what turns you on. Tell me what you like.”
Suddenly I lost my outgoing personality and found I was so shy I couldn’t speak. Or maybe my desire had thickened my throat so much my voice had disappeared. Either way, I didn’t answer.
“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out on my own then,” he breathed.
He loosened one of my hands from the sheet and took each of my fingers and kissed them. When he got to my thumb, he took it into his mouth and sucked on it hard and when he was pulling it out of his mouth, he scraped his teeth against the soft pad at the end. I never knew a thumb sucking could be so erotic. Then his thumb slid across my lower lip and I put my lips around it and started a return suck on him. He moaned and said, “That thumb is going to be sliding in and out of you Terri. An
d not in your mouth.” I sucked in my breath and almost came then.
Before I could give it another thought, his head hovered over my breast for a brief second and then he flicked my nipple with his tongue. I moaned...loudly. Then he sucked on it hard and I felt a jolt shoot straight through me and right down to my core. He must not have wanted my other nipple to feel deprived, so he repeated that same licking and sucking action on it. I raised myself to my elbows to watch. My movements must’ve distracted him because he was all about my mouth again, teasing my tongue with his. I slid my fingers in his hair and worried about how I’d ever let him go.
There was one thing I wanted right now. “I want my mouth on you Justin.”
“Not yet babe. This is all about you right now.”
He kissed me like I’d never been kissed before. Nothing remained in my mind except for thoughts of him. Heat sped through my veins, my breath came through my lips and mingled with his, and he whispered how I turned him on directly against my mouth. I was almost coming by this time, and he hadn’t even touched me there yet.
My hands trekked over the taut muscles of his abs and pecs. All I wanted to do was to lick and suck on this man. He was tight and perfectly formed. His sculpted abs were framed by that oh so perfect V and right in the center was that dark and soft happy trail that led down to where I wanted my mouth to venture. I brushed the back of my knuckles across it. I was drooling at the chance to go there with my tongue, but he wouldn’t let me yet. He was the one doing the licking and sucking and I was nearly bouncing off the bed from it.
Shattered Edge Page 3
