********
I undressed her and gave her one of my t-shirts to put on. And damn, didn’t she look all sexy kitten like, laying there in the bed all curled up?
“I’ll be back in a sec with a couple of ice packs.”
I hit the freezer, filled up three baggies with ice, pulled out a couple of kitchen towels and took the stairs two at a time.
“Here,” I handed her the small one with a towel. “Put this on your cheek. It’s a little puffy already.” I lay the other two on the bed and rummaged through my cabinet for a couple of ace bandages. Picking up one of the towels, I gently wrapped it around her ballooned up ankle and then followed it with the ice. Lastly I wrapped the ace around it, keeping it all in place. Then I elevated it on a pillow. Finally, I moved to the last ice bag and towel, placing them high on her right thigh. After I wrapped the ace around that one, I pulled up the comforter because packed in all that ice, she would no doubt be shivering in no time.
“Damn,” I said, more to myself than anything.
“What is it?”
“Oh nothing really. I forgot a glass. Be right back.” I ran back downstairs and brought up a couple of glasses. Then I headed straight to the bathroom and filled one up with water and brought Terri four ibuprofen.
“Four?” she asked.
“Yep. Maximum dose for you tonight. We need to get that inflammation under control.
“Okay. You’re the doctor.”
“That’s right honey. Can I get you anything else?”
“Yeah, but you’re gonna kill me.”
“What?”
“I really have to pee.”
I shook my head and laughed.
“Put your arms around my neck.”
She tried to protest but I was adamant. “Look, do you want to pee or not?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Then put your darn arms around my neck. I’m not playing around here Terri. No weight on that leg tonight. And that ankle is going to kill you anyway. Now.”
“Yes, sir!”
I carried her to the bathroom and helped her to the commode.
“Out!”
I scooted out of there, thinking how women were so private about certain things. Men couldn’t care less about stuff like that but not women. A few minutes later she was calling for me so I went to retrieve her. I got blessed out when I didn’t hold her over the sink to let her wash her hands.
“I’m sorry. I forgot honey. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“Ew. That’s really gross Justin.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more.”
I tucked her back in and made sure she was warm enough. The ice came off a half hour later, but I made sure she was iced every four hours. I set my alarm just to be sure I didn’t miss a session. That ankle was going to be purple and swollen pretty badly. I would have to tape it for her if she wanted to walk on Monday.
In the morning, she told me I was spoiling her. Truth be told, I was still worried about that screw. My mind wouldn’t rest for another two weeks until I saw that next X-ray.
“I’m not spoiling you. Wait until you try to walk...then you’ll know what I’m talking about.”
She wanted eggs and toast for breakfast so that’s what my girl got. I also got her everything else her heart desired. I had to get my car, so I called Ava to see if she could take me to Jackson’s. She stopped by to visit with Terri and spend a little time with her.
They had some girl time while I hung out downstairs. On the way to Jackson’s, I got another tongue lashing and lecture from Ava.
“Look Ava, that’s enough already. My plans for Terri are above board. You have to stop with this.”
“Well, I’m warning you right now. You’ll get an earful when Lexi gets home too. Just saying.”
I felt my balls tighten up just thinking about that lecture.
“Okay, but can we talk about something else? Terri fell last night and I’m a little concerned about one of the screws in her leg. I don’t need you going all bossy on me right now. I have enough to deal with as it is.” My voice was raw with emotion and it must’ve struck a chord with her.
She let out a whistle. “Well I’ll be damned. I think you really like her.”
“Goddammit Ava. Of course I like her. What the fuck do you think I’ve been trying to tell you?” I shouted at her as my hand slammed the dash.
“Hey! Calm it Justin!”
“I’m sick of your fucking accusations. You act like I’m a piece of shit. Well, I’m not. My intentions toward Terri are on the up and up. So fucking lay off, okay?”
“Okay! Okay. Enough said.”
I lay my head back on the headrest and pinched the bridge of my nose. I should’ve taken a damn cab over here. Ava pulled up in front of Jackson’s and I got out. “Thanks for the ride,” I said.
“Hey Justin. Sorry for what I said. I hope things between the two of you really work out. I love Terri and you know I love you.”
“Yeah, Ava, sometimes I wonder.”
“I do Justin. Sometimes I just say the wrong things to you.”
“Why don’t you ever say the wrong things to Pearce or Andrew?” This conversation with her had really crawled up my ass.
“What do you mean?”
“Ava, you know exactly what I mean. Nothing I do ever suits you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I only say those things because you did play around a lot.”
“Tell you what Ava. You’re right. I did play around. So did Pearce. Andrew does too. You never say anything about them.”
“They didn’t toss women out like the trash either.”
“Is that what you think I did? Because if that’s how little you think of me, then we really have problem.”
She was silent for a minute. I kept my mouth shut too. I was beyond even wanting to explain anything to her anymore. Where all this was stemming from I hadn’t a clue and right now I didn’t give a damn.
“Like I said, thanks for the ride Ava.”
“Justin wait.” I stopped.
“I...I guess that maybe we need to talk.”
“Yeah, maybe we do. But I’m sick of having to defend myself to you Ava. I’m always on trial when I’m around you. It’s not going to be that way anymore. You can have whatever opinion you’d like to have of me. I don’t really care. But just for the record...every woman I’ve ever been with has known from the very start what I was all about. I never made any false pretenses about anything. They were the ones that were clamoring to get into my pants...not the other way around. Many times I tried to push them away and they’d keep coming. I’d tell them I wasn’t interested in a relationship and they’d say they weren’t either...but they all lied for the most part. Including your dear friend Casey from the lingerie store. I don’t know what she told you but she threw herself at me more than once. I refused a couple of times, but then...you get the idea. So form your own opinion. Hell, you already have Ava and in the words of old Rhett Butler, ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.’” I slammed the door and walked to my car. That was the last time I would defend my actions to my sister.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Terri
Justin walked in the bedroom and the tight set of his mouth told me something was terribly wrong.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” he lied. He was hiding something, but I didn’t know what it could be. His beautiful mouth was set in a thin hard line and his eyes looked like granite.
“Come here,” I whispered.
He sat on the edge of the bed and I coiled by arms around his neck. The tension was rolling off of him.
“Hmm. I think someone’s hiding something. Turn around honey.”
He did without any objection. I sunk my hands into the muscles of his neck and shoulders and massaged the rigidity out of them. When I felt them begin to loosen up, I began to make deep circles in them with my thumbs.
“Mmm, that
feels really good,” he moaned as he dropped his head forward. I continued with the circles, traveling down to the muscles in his back.
“Are you going to share or keep this bottled up inside?”
“Terri, I don’t want to talk about it and honey, you don’t really need to hear it. How come I didn’t know about these magic hands of yours?”
“I’ll give you a pass today on the change of subject because you’ve spoiled me rotten. And to your question, I’m not exactly sure. Why don’t you lay across my lap?”
He did and it was much easier for me to massage him. I played with his hair, running my fingers through it and scratched his back while he made all sorts of soft moans. After a while, he rolled over and looked up at me. He didn’t say anything at first but his brow was creased and the place between his eyes had creases in it too.
“Hmm. Deep thoughts,” I remarked.
“Do you think I’m a piece of shit?”
What the hell?
“Jesus Justin! Where the hell did that come from? Wait! Don't answer that. No, I do not think you’re a piece of shit, for God’s sake. Honey, please tell me what happened.” My hands were on his face as he lay in my lap. He put his on top of mine and all I wanted to do was kiss him, to cement my words. So I did just that.
I shimmied down in the bed until our heads were level and I pounced on his lips...hard and without any preamble.
“Justin,” I murmured against his mouth, “I don’t kiss pieces of shit.” And I went in for the kill. I kissed him with everything I had. And everything in my body turned into liquid gold, coursing through my veins. Sprained ankle be damned. I wanted this man and he needed me. This wasn’t just about desire and sex. It went way beyond that. So I took things into my own hands. I unbuttoned his shirt, never taking my eyes off of his. Then my hands slipped beneath the waist of his jeans, where I let my fingers linger a bit. I loved to feel his abs around here. My hand was unbuttoning his jeans then and then unzipping them. He made to move and I stopped him with the palm of my hand on his stomach. I didn’t speak, I just shook my head. He was laying there, watching me, not really knowing where this was going. That was okay by me because I was all about surprises right now.
“Close your eyes Justin and no peeking.”
He blinked a couple of times and at first I thought he was going to say something, but then he ran his tongue along his lower lip and did as I asked. That slight action with his tongue had increased my body temp to the boiling point.
I bent my head down and followed the path on his lip that his tongue had just blazed. He groaned and opened his mouth to latch my tongue to his.
“Not yet,” I whispered.
He groaned again.
I separated his shirt and ran one finger from his throat to the waistband of his boxers, and then back up. I bent my head and began my torture of Justin. Nipping, then nibbling and sucking until he was begging. I would suck his nipples hard, then ease up and move to another place, only to return. A peck here, a tiny bite there, a light touch down below, but all teasing him. His erection was straining against his boxers and he was writhing on the bed. I had a bag of ice next to me and I grabbed a handful of the cubes and put them in my mouth. I scooted down the bed and put my hand around his length and when I wrapped my lips on it, and he felt the iciness inside, he groaned and in seconds was moaning and climaxing. He’d grabbed my hair and had twisted his hands in it, and his groans went on and on as his body bucked against me.
One minute I had my head on his lap and the next minute I was stripped naked and he was driving himself inside of me and now it was my turn to scream and moan. When the world righted itself, or maybe it was right the other way, he looked at me and shook his head.
“Christ, Terri. Remind me not to leave any bags of ice laying around you any time soon.”
“You didn’t like that?”
“Not one tiny bit.” Then he took my lip between his teeth and tugged on it a little. He kept looking at me, differently, almost like he was gaging my reaction, or getting ready to anyway.
“What?”
He smiled. “I was just...” he took a deep breath, “I was just thinking about how close I feel to you.”
“Is that what this is all about?”
His eyes, dark, deep and penetrating, touched my heart. Something was hurting him and I wanted to know what it was. I put my fingers up to his brows and whispered, “Such a pained expression.”
“I’m afraid I’m not good enough for you. That you deserve better than this. Than what I am...what I’ve been. I’m afraid that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I am just a miserable piece of shit, and that you’ve wasted your precious time with me.”
I broke for him. His pain and hurt penetrated every inch of my body and I wanted to cry out for him. “Oh Justin. Why would you ever think that? Have I done something to give you that idea?”
He nodded, “No. You’ve been perfect. You are perfect.”
“Then why? Well hell, the why doesn’t matter because I don’t feel that way at all. I know in my heart and soul that will never happen. Look Justin, there are never any guarantees in life. But if you trust someone, and have faith in that person, and respect them, then I believe the best will happen.” I ran my hands in his hair and held his head. I caught his gaze and said, “I think you know that I have faith in you and I respect you way more than mere words can say. You’ve been here for me and kept me safe. You’ve made me feel a part of you...a part of your life...made me feel special, like I mean something to you. I would never ever think I was wasting my time with you, or that I deserved better. I pretty much think you’re a special guy Justin, or I wouldn’t even be here right now.”
He’d started moving toward my lips as I was talking, and as the last words left my lips he kissed me...gently...teasingly...briefly.
“Justin, am I even getting through to you?” I was beginning to worry about him.
He smiled, but his eyes wore a pained expression.
“I can only hope Terri. You’ve turned my life upside down...made me examine things I’d never thought of before. I hope I’m enough for you.”
He moved to roll off of me, but I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving.
“Please don’t go. Stay here and just hold me for a while.”
He gathered me in his arms and I twisted my body around his, clinging tightly to him, fearing that what we had was slipping away. I felt a fissure developing between us and I didn’t know why or what to do to bridge it.
“Don’t pull away from me Justin. Please don’t.”
He smiled sadly and I felt things were going to end. My eyes filled with tears and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to cry, but the sadness pouring off of him was so profound it penetrated my very soul.
What the hell had happened?
I just couldn’t figure it out. Something had gotten into his head.
He felt my silent sobs as they wracked my body. He held me tightly to him but never spoke. Sleep took over because I woke up later and found myself alone, in his cold and lonely bed.
Biological functions don’t stop, even when your heart doesn’t beat appropriately any more. Hell with the no walking thing. I hobbled to the bathroom and then dressed. I needed to get away from here or I would be one hell of a mess. Navigating the stairs wasn’t easy at first, so I sat on my ass and went down that way.
He was sitting at the kitchen counter, in a trance-like state, when I limped in the room.
“I think it's best if I go home,” I mumbled, my voice cracking.
“No,” he said hoarsely. “You shouldn’t even be walking.”
“I can’t be here Justin when you won’t tell me what’s hurting you so. I know you don’t want me here. I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voice. I can smell it in the air. Please take me home.” Tears stained my face as the words left my mouth.
“Terri I...”
“Please. If you can’t tell me why you feel this way. One minu
te things are perfect between us and the next, you’re withdrawn and uncommunicative. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lay up there all alone in your bed wondering what the hell happened. And...” I lost it then.
He was there picking me up but I protested and punched him. “No! You have to talk to me and not do this. I can take care of myself Justin. I have for years. I can’t be here with you like this. Can’t you understand?”
He set me down and shouted, “Yes, damn it. I can. And let me talk a minute. It was Ava. She made me question myself, my integrity and my value to you. Whether or not I was good enough for you. And the more I thought about it, damn it, the more I wondered if she didn’t have a valid point!”
My jaw crashed to the floor. “You’re letting someone else, someone who hasn’t even seen us together, who hasn’t even spent any time around us, dictate to you what you should be feeling about yourself? Justin! That doesn’t make any sense!”
I tore my hands through my hair and started chewing on my bottom lip.
“She made some valid points about my past!”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about your past and I’m the one who counts where that’s concerned. Am I right?”
He stared at me, his eyes grabbing onto mine like a lifeline. “When we decided to give us a try, I was leery of you, yeah. But not because of your past. It was because of that incident with the two girls and then because you didn’t tell me the truth about my leg. What you’ve done with other women before we met I really could give two shits about.”
He still just stared, locked onto to me, unmoving.
“Look. Do you think I’m naive or something? I know women throw themselves at you. Hell, that crazy bitch that pushed me down told me stuff about you. And I’m quite sure it was a bunch of crap. Listen to me Justin. I. Don’t. Care. What I do care about is how you treat me. And whether you respect me and are honest with me.” I finally shut up because I ran out of steam. This whole thing had fried my mind.
He didn’t move for quite a while. I rubbed my face in an attempt to stop the fire from burning in my eyes and to dry the tears that had fallen. When I lifted my head, he took my hands in his and started kissing each of my fingers.
Shattered Edge Page 11
