by Elise Whyles
This was the first day Luke had been awake and able to speak. Nerves tangled with uncertainty at the looks on their faces. The two men stood close together, heads bent as they spoke quietly, their body language not putting him at ease at all.
“Well? When can I see him?” The minute the pair were free of Luke’s room door, Sean hurried forward, crossed arms over his chest. A knot of unease formed in his throat as he watched them. “He’s awake, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is. I’ve checked his wounds, he’s healing nicely…”
“But?”
“He’s not ready for visitors.”
“Not ready for visitors? What the hell does that mean? You let him into his room? I’ve sat with him for days, tended him, and now you’re saying what exactly?” Sean pointed to Rick who had the grace to flush with embarrassment. Luke had been so angry that night. God, it hurt to think of it, but he needed to make him see, needed to talk to him. Why wouldn’t they let him in?
“He’s different. Rick’s been a friend of Luke’s for…”
“I’m his fucking boyfriend. Why can’t I see him?”
Doctor Jortsi and Rick shared a glance, neither man meeting him in the eye. He had a bad feeling he wasn’t going to like their response, but forced himself to ask it anyway. Please, let me be wrong. Let it be something other than Luke not wanting me anymore.
“Well? Is it because I’m his boyfriend? Or is there another reason you’re not going to allow me to see him now that he’s awake?” Sean stepped closer, his hands knotted into fists. His heart in his throat, he could taste the bitterness of fear as he stared at their guilty faces, at the sympathy in Rick’s gaze.
“Luke’s asked not to have any visitors.” Doctor Jortsi glanced down when the small black box at his hip went off. “I’m sorry, I have to take this call.” Hurrying off, he cast a thankful look at Rick.
“I’m not a visitor…” Sean shuddered at the icy tentacles spreading along his body. “Rick, you know that. You know I’m more than just some Joe Blow off the street. Why can’t I see him? Damn it, he’s the other half of my soul. I need to…”
Rick rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, a sheepish look on his face. Straightening, he clasped Sean’s shoulder, concern and understanding in his eyes as well as a silent apology. “I know. I know you care about him, Sean, but we have to respect his wishes.”
“You haven’t told me what they are yet,” Sean snapped and brushed past Rick to push open the door. The incessant beeping of the machines echoed in the room. A nurse hovered by the monitors, the pristine white of the hospital sheets tucked over Luke’s prone body. Sean stepped into the room, his hand shaking as it pressed harder against the wood of the door. His heart lodged in his throat when Luke turned to the door and blinked, his gaze widening when he saw him. A chill raced over him at the cold, distant look in Luke’s gaze as Rick pulled him back.
The door swung shut on Luke turning away from Sean. The movement as clear as day. His heart cracked, splintering in his chest. Please, God, please don’t do this. Don’t let him push me away. Sean sank into the nearest seat and glanced up at Rick. “It’s not visitors he doesn’t want, is it?”
“No.” Rick sank onto the chair next to him, his grip firm on his arm. He squeezed gently, his voice dropping to a tight whisper. “He was quite clear, he doesn’t want you here. He said I was to send you on your way. Said he doesn’t want to see you again at all. I have to respect what he wants, Sean. He’s my friend, and I just—”
Sean held up a hand, interrupting Rick as he struggled to his feet. A blessed numbness was spreading, erasing the pain coursing through his body. His mind, however, swam with thoughts, with ideas that terrified him. Maybe Luke’s accusations had little to do with his fears, maybe Luke had just gotten tired of him. Perhaps Luke had realized just what he was getting in Sean. Damaged goods and all that. His heart shattered like glass at the thought. He bent to grab his jacket and shrugged into it. “I get it. No need to elaborate. This has nothing to do with being a friend or not.” His voice was deadpan as he tugged his jacket down, his hand reaching into the pocket of his jeans to fish for the keys to the company truck.
“For what it’s worth, I think he’s just scared you’re going to think…”
“No, he’s not scared of what I think.” He shook his head. The cold hard truth was more painful than he’d ever believed. In his own way, Luke had shut him out. With his angry words ringing in his ears, Sean swallowed. Luke believed he was using him, hiding their relationship, and he wasn’t going to allow him in. He’d closed the door on any hope for a future. Pain sliced through him. If Luke didn’t want him, then it was all for naught. He wasn’t going to spend time waiting for someone who obviously didn’t want to be with him. Didn’t want to understand why he’d been so determined to keep his distance, at least in public. Luke hadn’t even given him a chance to explain, and that left more doubts than it cured. “Don’t make excuses for him. I, um, I guess loving someone isn’t enough any more. You can tell him I’ve left, I won’t bother him again. I’m going to head back to work; still have a few weeks at the station before I’ll be back to Drumheller. Tell him not to worry, that I understand.” Head down, Sean ducked past him. He hurried along the corridor, his throat tight, eyes burning. It didn’t matter, nothing did.
Chapter 20
Luke shuffled through the final day of his physio and cursed as the nurse wrote several notes in the folder before handing it off to the doctor hovering at his elbow. Two months of misery and pain had finally given him back some use of his left hand. He’d been lucky, the bullet had done plenty of nerve damage but nothing too bad. The burns would take longer to heal and leave scarring. Overall, he’d been remarkably lucky.
“You about ready to head home?” Rick lounged against the door, his arms crossed over his broad chest.
“Yeah. I have to get my stuff from the hotel and then you can drive me home. How is it you got roped into this?”
“Jack’s a wee bit busy with Gillian.” Rick grinned. “Something about planning her birthday or something. He just said he wasn’t available for a couple of days.”
Luke nodded, a flare of resentment heating his blood at the mention of his best friend and the happiness he’d managed to find. It only reinforced the heartache still clinging to him. With a derisive snort, he forced himself to admit losing Sean, losing what they’d had, hurt far worse than anything he’d suffered with Tony.
“I was going to ask Sean. He keeps calling but figured since you all but kicked him out you probably didn’t want him around. Man’s been calling me regularly, worried and scared for you. As far as I know he’s still in the park.” Rick straightened, a flare of anger in his gaze as he turned to look at Luke. “Cleared him of any involvement in the attack. He’s been pretty tight lipped on how he figures his dad was involved but cooperated fully.”
Luke shuddered at the mention of his latest ex-lover. He rubbed absently at his chest, the pain slicing through even the twinge of the still healing wounds. The nurses had told him Sean had stayed by his side right up until he’d regained consciousness, and then he’d left after Rick had told him to leave. It hadn’t eased the hurt. The man had used him, wanted a quick fling but hadn’t…
“Yeah, I did a bit of digging on the old man. Seems he’s not really well thought of. A bit of an asshole. Was charged with assault twice. His own daughter refuses to speak to him. Apparently, he married her to a friend of his and the marriage wasn’t a good one. Louis Tisman is a grade A bastard.”
“What?” Luke froze, his mind jerked from the load of self-pity he’d wallowed in.
“Sean’s dad. I did a bit of investigating around him. Kind of guy who makes Gillian’s ex look like a choirboy.”
Luke shivered at the mention of Michael Kilpatrick, who was currently serving the remainder of his life sentence in Ontario’s federal prison. The man had tried to kill Gillian not once, but twice, and he’d seen the evidence of his brutality.
“So his dad’s a prick, doesn’t mean he wanted…”
“Sister thinks if the old man had found out about you, he’d have done something violent. She asked if we suspected him of shooting you. Told me he’d all but threatened to kill Sean if he couldn’t be cured.”
“Why would…”
“I told her no. The indications were it was a poacher who you and Sean had stumbled upon. He’s been arrested, and we’ve tied him to the fires set around you guys. Of course, we had to wiggle around Sean’s lack of control when he found him. Damn near got charged with assaulting the bastard until we were able to convince the prosecutor the perp was resisting arrest.”
“I thought the fires had been set by Tony or someone he knew. The man was pretty persistent in his attempts to make me take him back.” Luke followed Rick down the stuffy corridor. He inhaled deeply at the smell of fresh air as they approached the car parked beneath a stand of oak trees.
“Tony’s got a solid alibi, doesn’t know the guy, either. No, seems it was random.”
“Good to know.” Luke winced as he settled into the car. He watched Rick stride around the hood and sighed. The news they’d caught the guy meant nothing; there was no elation, no joy at the thought. Really, it didn’t matter. What mattered, what burned, was the truth: Sean didn’t want more than what they’d had, and he did.
“So, where you want to go? Jack’s or your place? I’d offer to let you crash at my place but I’m going on duty for four days.”
“Mine.” Luke leaned back and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see the proof of Jack’s love life. It was bad enough the man was tied up and couldn’t come pick him up because of his current girlfriend. He just wanted peace and quiet and a chance to lick his wounds before deciding what he was going to do.
“All right. Your place it is. I’ll get Gillian to stop by and mother you when she and Jack have a free moment.”
“I’ll be fine. No need to bother them.” Luke sighed, his throat tightening. Nope, no need to disrupt their happiness. Let them have it for as long as it lasted.
* * * *
Sean stared at the small, single-story house surrounded by fields of gold. His heart racing, palms sweaty, he reached for the door handle. It was past time he dealt with this. For years he’d allowed the old man to ruin his life, to control him, and he was sick of it. The hurt of Luke’s departure hadn’t healed, it probably wouldn’t, but he wasn’t going to give up on them … and the first step to getting Luke back was facing what had driven a wedge between them. Resolute, he swore and stepped down onto the hard-packed earth of the farmyard. He slammed the truck door before he strode up the walkway to the front door.
After knocking twice he stepped back, one hand going to the Smith and Wesson at his hip. The door swung open, and he stared through the screen door at the slim, dark-haired woman hovering there.
“Sean. So you came to your senses, did you?” Her voice trembling, her shoulders hunched beneath the pale calico shirt she wore, Rose stared back.
Sean ignored the disdain in her voice and shook his head. “I’m not here to socialize. May I come in?”
“Of course. This is, after all, your home.”
Sean snorted as he stepped through the door and followed her into the kitchen. A huge pot sat boiling on the stove, the lid bouncing gently. Jars of peaches sat on the counter, next to a sink overflowing with fruit.
“Coffee? Or would you prefer something a bit stronger?” Rose reached in the cupboard and pulled down a brown bottle. Sean noted the tremble in her hands but ignored it. He had more important things to worry about.
“Neither. Where is Dad?”
“He’s in the fields. He’ll be in for lunch in about five minutes.” She glanced from him to the clock as she set the bottle on the table. “I assume you’ll be wanting to eat, best go…”
“No, I don’t want your food. As I said, this isn’t a social call.” Sean hovered in the kitchen doorway. “I’ll wait for him to get in.”
“Well, sit then.”
“No, thank you.” Sean glanced out the window and swallowed against the rising nausea. Striding in from the battered tractor, Louis didn’t look pleased. His face was twisted into a mask of rage, his hands knotted into fists. He stomped up the back steps and threw open the door.
“Rose!”
“Lunch is ready, husband.” Rose hurried to set the plate with a sandwich and a bowl of soup on the table. She scurried around the room, eyes downcast, the movements so familiar it sickened Sean.
“Soup? Do you realize it’s…”
“We have company.” Rose darted an uneasy glance at Sean before setting a cup on the table.
Louis glanced up, his eyes widening when he saw Sean. His stomach turned at the flare of victory, of joy, in the old man’s gaze. It was an expression he’d seen so many times growing up. One that often meant someone had gotten hurt.
“Well, if it isn’t my son returned…”
“As I was telling your wife, I’ve not returned.” Sean interrupted, anger and disgust flaring as he stared at the man he’d been terrified of for years. “I’m here on business.” Louis’ hair was going gray, lines crossed his face, and there was a dullness to his gaze. His age was showing in the thickening around his waist, the swelling of the joints in his hands. Staring at him, Sean felt the old familiar fear ease. Louis Tisman wasn’t anything to be scared of anymore.
“What business could you have? Sit. Woman, get him a plate. Boy has returned home.” Louis stared at him, a victorious smirk on his face. “I trust you’ve stopped by to speak to the preacher about your affliction?”
“Nope.” Sean exhaled. “I’m happy now. Found someone who loves me flaws and all. Packaging doesn’t matter to me. But I’m not here to discuss my love life. I’m here to discuss the recent and brutal attack on my partner.” Sean pulled out a thick notepad. “So, where were you August eighth?”
“He was here.”
“I didn’t ask you, Mom.” Sean stared at his father. “Where were you?”
“Depends on the time. I spent the day in the fields and then came in for dinner and went to a meetin’ in town.”
“What was the meeting for?”
“Why? Look, if you’re expecting…”
“I don’t expect anything from you.” Sean snorted in derision. “What was the reason for the meeting?”
“Looking at some new stock.”
“What time did you get home?”
“Nine-thirty,” Rose said.
Sean shot her a glance before focusing on his father who nodded, his lunch apparently forgotten. “Do you know a man by the name of Walter Pryent?”
“No, can’t say as I do. Why?”
“He was recently arrested for the attempted murder of my partner, as well as a string of arsons around where we work.”
“Your work partner? Or another one of your kind? The one you told Rose about? Sickened me when I heard you’d taken up with him. Why, almost lost my dinner that night. Didn’t I, Rose?”
Sean glanced at his father, a slow smile curling his lips upward. “Both. Luke and I are seriously involved. Happy about it as well.” The old man’s face turned blotchy with rage, and Sean wallowed in rubbing salt into the wound as Louis pushed his food away.
“How disgusting. Why, it’s against everything we taught you. Ain’t right nor proper. How the hell do you think…”
“I think it’s none of your business,” Sean snapped. “You don’t get a choice in the matter. I am who I am, and I’m not going to hide it anymore. You and your bias can just go to hell. I am gay! I don’t have an affliction, I’m not a walking plague, I’m me. I’m a grown man who has the ability to decide who I have in my bed. Don’t like it? Tough. I’m not scared of you anymore; you’re a bully and a coward.” Sean reined in his temper and exhaled. “Now, don’t go getting any ideas about traveling. I’m still investigating the attack, and if I think you’re involved I will arrest you.”
“Sean, please, son, yo
u don’t need…” Rose laid a hand on his arm. Her eyes pleading.
“Good afternoon.” Turning, Sean headed for the front door. He cringed at the scrape of a chair on the floor a moment before he felt the heavy weight of a hand on his shoulder.
“Now you listen here, you’re not going to disgrace me anymore than you already have,” Louis ground out as he tugged Sean back around.
Grunting in pain as his fist crashed into his face, Sean stumbled back. He landed on the floor, crashing through a chair as his father followed, swinging blow after blow. For a split second he was ten all over again. The screams, the pain, the insults flying about his head. The foul stench of sweat and whiskey filled his nostrils as he ducked yet another blow before shoving the old man off him. A solid left had Louis on the floor clutching his face.
“I’m not scared of you, old man. Not anymore.”
“If you walk out that door don’t you ever come back. I got no son. You hear me?”
“Louis!” Rose cried.
“You hear me, Sean? You stupid, ungrateful little bastard!”
“Loud and clear,” Sean spat, blood dripping down his chin. He winced as he touched the cut before turning and striding from the house. The door slammed on his mother’s furious pleading. Taking the steps in a jump, Sean stomped to the truck and jerked open the door as another vehicle pulled into the yard.
Sean turned away from the neighbor’s intense scrutiny and hopped up onto the seat.
“Pissed him off, did you?” Richard leaned against the cab, his meaty palm pressed against the open door.
